Re: Anonymous.... mother needs help....

Posted by smdl

I have some "thoughts" that come to mind.

Yes you have to get rid of him. Sorry for the way I put it.

BUT... this is also what you need to do first BEFORE you say anything more to him.

- Open another bank immediatelly on your name only. Keep the info secret.
- Take the money you need out of the joint account (trust me.... he is going to wipe it out in the minutes that you mention the word "divorce"!). So do yourself a favor and put most of it in YOUR new account that he cannot touch.
- Get a backup plan if things get "violent" or "heated". Where to go live (parents, friends), etc..., have your purse and keys ready at all time as well as a bag for DC on your way out.
- With the "backup plan", have all official papers you might need also. Get yourself a safe at a bank and put your SS card, birth certificates, receipts of what you own, etc...
- Make a copy or take all receipts/statements of his expensive trips, purchases. That won't get you much but it shows a pattern. I know I am talking "divorce" but I am not sure what other option is available for you.
- If you have a file cabinet at work that you have a key to, it's a good place to keep all your "secret" info safe from him (I had to do that with my XH when I made a case again him).

He apparently has no respect for you or your DC.

Play the game with the counseling until you are ready. I know it's hard but you need to get "prepared" for it.

GL!

Re: Anonymous.... mother needs help....

Sorry you and your DD even have to go thru this. I agree with the PP you need to plan and get away from him.
There is no reason for your DD or yourself to be around your husband at this time. He sounds like trouble. If he gets help and can become a father than that is different, but for now get rid of his sorry a$$!
I wish you all the best and remember we are here for you!

Re: Anonymous.... mother needs help....

Wow.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

I think everyone has pretty much said everything I would have said at this point so I'm just going to offer hugs.

Keep yourself and your DD safe, whatever happens.

Re: Anonymous.... mother needs help....

First, I want to say that I am so sorry that you're going through this. Second, only you know what the right thing to do is...and I agree with what the above posters have said...make sure you get all of his business information...so that you're covered in the future. My heart aches for you and your daughter...its so unfair. I wish you all the best of luck and I hope that you find happiness soon!

Message edited 2/5/2008 11:37:36 AM.

Re: Anonymous.... mother needs help....

Your husband sounds like my BIL. I personally would get your financials in order and divorce him. Yes divorce stinks, but your situation stinks and isn't healthy for you or your child and it doesn't sound like he is going to change.