Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

I can't believe the anti-sports comments. I wished I was involved in activities as a child. As long as my child is hyper and loves doing it, then I will sacrifice my time and take him. Eventually, he may pick one he loves or not so any.

I think it's different for every family. I did not pay no where near 15k for daycare and the fact I have my son in catholic school, my cost didn't decease. Therefore, my son at 6 is more expensive then at 2. Without activities, he eats so much more, clothes and shoes are more because I'm buying more frequent.

I think it can be the same debate for a mom who breastfed versus formula. That's huge difference in cost because I know formula is expensive.

Eta: two months of Sumer camp is half of what I paid for daycare for the year. I hate camps. Lol

Message edited 4/29/2015 4:25:08 PM.

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Posted by ppm80

Posted by Sash

Posted by ppm80

Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo

Posted by TheDivineMrsM

Posted by evrythng4areason

I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.

They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?

play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.

I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.

Whew, same here. I spent all my free time growing up playing with my friends and reading and hanging out with my family. I did have tennis lessons, dance lessons, art classes, swimming, language classes, piano, and violin, but all VERY spread out. We never rushed or felt either busy or bored. I'm praying it's still possible for have that kind of life and childhood nowadays, since I will probably be paying for private school and I was hoping to save money overall since tuition will be cheaper than my current childcare costs.

Exactly but you still did a lot of extra curricular activities and I know tennis isn't cheap. With the exception of dance and karate, my sons sports are different seasons. He still has plenty of time to play and hang out with our family. But this is stuff that keeps him busy and active. I rather foster these things now so hopefully as a teen he will put his energy into a sport then hanging out playing video games or watching tv all day. I learned this from experience with my stepson.

Plus he's very active and these sports keep him busy and entertained.

Definitely get your point and I see the benefit in fostering interest in sports vs. less constructive things.

Just wanted to mention that my list was ALL of my non-school related activities from K-8, they were done only during the summer (other than piano and violin), I had not more than one activity per week, and the "lessons" were often from neighbors, the YMCA, or the township (very cheap!). So, like, for a few summers, I had tennis lessons once a week from the YMCA. The next few summers I had swimming lessons from my neighbor once a week. It was that spread out.

I think it would be harder to do that kind of thing now b/c kids will see all their friends doing all their professionally managed/organized activities and they will want to sign up, too. I'll have to see how we end up managing. But I CANNOT imagine $15K a year on just activities, more expensive toys, and name-brand kids' clothing!

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

I'm sure we will find some way to provide our children with full and rich lives without mortgaging our home to afford it.

I'm all for some extras if it's for something they love, but DH and I are not going to kill ourselves over it (with respect to both our time and money). I really don't care what anyone says we "have to" do and how things are different now than when we were growing up. We'll do what we can and it will be good enough.

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Message edited 4/29/2015 5:21:20 PM.

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo

I was reading through responses and shocked!
but I am glad to see that all those expenses are extracurricular activities that parents choose to put money and time in.
I can understand that there will be an increase in food budget and clothing but I plan to keep all the other costs low.
there is no way I can have them in xyz and this and that... I don't want to go broke.
I am sure there will be braces and other costs that will pop up but as far as I can see, my kids will prob miss out on a lot of "stuff" but I am fine with that! lol
I guess they can do school sports but I am only letting them pick one a year- not basketball, soccer, volleyball all at the same time.

One sport at a time is expensive too and you really should allow your child to at least try some things. By the time they get to school, it might be too late as all the other kids have been playing some sports since they are toddlers or at least early elementary school.

it's not really a big a concern of mine.
I am not looking to groom a star athlete.
of course I would love for my child to try things but, we are full time working parents and I certainly don't have a budget for multiple activities.
If they show an interest in something, great, we can explore it but I am not going to enlist in every little activity to keep them busy while it burns a hole in my wallet.

one activity a year. my 6 year dd tried ballet this year. maybe next September she will try something else. my 3 yr old ds is not enrolled in any activities at the moment other than preschool.
maybe we can enroll him in soccer come September as well.
although, thinking about how I am going to fit it in our schedule makes me
we certainly can't do anything during the weekday, as we get home at 6pm and 7pm.
we'll see, I am not going to get too crazy over this.

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Baby vs older child expenses

Plenty of kids get into good colleges without playing a single sport That is a silly argument. A very silly one.

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Before my children were in elementary (I only have one so far at this age) I would look at family members and friends and say that will never be me - I will never run around all weekend long for sports etc. etc. etc. Well, now I do - every day of the week practically. I'm sure every area is different but, in my area - the MAJORITY of the boys ALL play sports - it is a social thing and that is where they derive friends and confidence. The kids play the same sports at recess and practices and games are the new playdates. There is no one to play on the street with during sports season because they are all out on the fields. I do lunch duty and I will tell you the few kids that are not involved in sports wander around alone. And this is second grade. It is a different world than when we grew up. EVERYONE is heavily involved in sports - heavily. And, it's no so easy to tell your kid no when he hears that Everyone else is doing it. And, honestly, you will be doing your child a huge disservice. Also, my DS is extremely bright and does VERY well in school - he could care less about this - all of his confidence comes from the sports.

My DD isn't in elementary yet so I'm not sure how it is with the girls.

Any way, I'm sure every area is different but, for me, I have to laugh reading some of these posts because that is what I thought too. Now I am officially a crazy soccer mom.

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo

I was reading through responses and shocked!
but I am glad to see that all those expenses are extracurricular activities that parents choose to put money and time in.
I can understand that there will be an increase in food budget and clothing but I plan to keep all the other costs low.
there is no way I can have them in xyz and this and that... I don't want to go broke.
I am sure there will be braces and other costs that will pop up but as far as I can see, my kids will prob miss out on a lot of "stuff" but I am fine with that! lol
I guess they can do school sports but I am only letting them pick one a year- not basketball, soccer, volleyball all at the same time.

One sport at a time is expensive too and you really should allow your child to at least try some things. By the time they get to school, it might be too late as all the other kids have been playing some sports since they are toddlers or at least early elementary school.

it's not really a big a concern of mine.
I am not looking to groom a star athlete.
of course I would love for my child to try things but, we are full time working parents and I certainly don't have a budget for multiple activities.
If they show an interest in something, great, we can explore it but I am not going to enlist in every little activity to keep them busy while it burns a hole in my wallet.

one activity a year. my 6 year dd tried ballet this year. maybe next September she will try something else. my 3 yr old ds is not enrolled in any activities at the moment other than preschool.
maybe we can enroll him in soccer come September as well.
although, thinking about how I am going to fit it in our schedule makes me
we certainly can't do anything during the weekday, as we get home at 6pm and 7pm.
we'll see, I am not going to get too crazy over this.[/QUOT


We are and have been working parents since my oldest was born. We did activities at night. Scouting started at 7pm and on the weekends they did other activities.

I wouldn't get too crazy either though. You can only do as much as you can.

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Posted by BargainMama

Plenty of kids get into good colleges without playing a single sport That is a silly argument. A very silly one.

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Baby vs older child expenses

I guess I'm lucky in that 4 year old DS wants nothing to do with sports right now. We've asked him if he wants to play t-ball or soccer and we get a very quick 'no' in response.

DH is a bit bummed out and continues to ask him but I don't want to push it. When he is ready to try something he will let us know. Right now he loves to draw! He gets up in the morning and literally grabs his box of markers and will draw until he is ready to leave for school. He loves free draw time in school the most, he will come home and draw while he is unwinding from his day and continue to draw straight up until bedtime. At this rate his art book that I make of his drawings every year is going to be huge!
I would love to find art classes for him - when I asked him about taking lessons he said 'maybe'. I think DH just has to accept the fact that maybe DS isn't the sports type - he prefers the arts.

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

They eat more, want more, admission to everything costs money, most activities and "experiences" cost money (whether extra curricular or zoos, museums, shows, etc), clothes and shoes!

Baby vs older child expenses

I have 4 dc. Ages 9,7, 3 and 2. If young dc are in daycare or preschool then no longer having that expense can be a huge relief. Older dc go to catholic school but their tuition is less than half of preschool tuition. Even with the cost of older dc's activities I feel that once little ones are in grade school it will be much cheaper. But I agree that they do eat a lot!! My 7yo is very into team sports; 9yo has zero interest. They both do fine and it hasn't been an issue. Every kid is different and they find their own path.

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by evrythng4areason

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by evrythng4areason

I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.

Most things are not optional anymore and you want your child to be involved in things like sports or activities so they don't get in trouble and to be chosen for college now you have to be an overall person, not just grades.

I'm a teacher so I realize this. But again, I doubt I'm going to be spending 1k a month on activities. At that point, dd would have to choose.

Growing up I got a certain dollar amount I was able to spend on back to school clothes, and the same for summer clothes. Anything else I had I use my own money for. Holidays I knew my parents weren't spending more than say $200 on me.

DH and I also have zero intention of paying for college, a car, an extravagant sweet 16, or anything of that nature so I suppose that impacts the amount of cost.

I also think I'm lucky, bc in our neighborhood kids do go knock on doors and play with one another. Kids are always in and out of houses on my block.

I do plan on putting dd in some activities, but as a whole I'm also not the person who has to go to the zoo or acquarium or a class every weekend. It's just not reality to me.

A little off topic but you're NOT going to help your kids pay for college??? At all???? Or help them get their first car???

I've been strapped with student loans for years and it SUCKS. We already set up 529 plans for both of our kids and we contribute what we can right now. DH and I are hoping to put away as much money as we can for them because I don't want them to have to graduate with loans, if possible. We did agree however, that we're not spending a million dollars on college. Both DH and I got our undergrad degrees from a SUNY school and we got a great education so we will encourage our kids to look at the SUNY system.

As for a car, I FULLY expect our kids to work and save and help out with the purchase of their car BUT that is an expense that we're also planning on incurring once our kids are of age. Our parents helped us get our first cars, we want to help our kids too.

I'm with you on the Sweet 16 though, screw that nonsense. I'm not dropping thousands of dollars on a mini-wedding for a little girl. No way. If my DD wants that kind of celebration she can forget a car.............it's one or the other.

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Posted by jessnbrian

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by evrythng4areason

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by evrythng4areason

I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.

Most things are not optional anymore and you want your child to be involved in things like sports or activities so they don't get in trouble and to be chosen for college now you have to be an overall person, not just grades.

I'm a teacher so I realize this. But again, I doubt I'm going to be spending 1k a month on activities. At that point, dd would have to choose.

Growing up I got a certain dollar amount I was able to spend on back to school clothes, and the same for summer clothes. Anything else I had I use my own money for. Holidays I knew my parents weren't spending more than say $200 on me.

DH and I also have zero intention of paying for college, a car, an extravagant sweet 16, or anything of that nature so I suppose that impacts the amount of cost.

I also think I'm lucky, bc in our neighborhood kids do go knock on doors and play with one another. Kids are always in and out of houses on my block.

I do plan on putting dd in some activities, but as a whole I'm also not the person who has to go to the zoo or acquarium or a class every weekend. It's just not reality to me.

A little off topic but you're NOT going to help your kids pay for college??? At all???? Or help them get their first car???

I've been strapped with student loans for years and it SUCKS. We already set up 529 plans for both of our kids and we contribute what we can right now. DH and I are hoping to put away as much money as we can for them because I don't want them to have to graduate with loans, if possible. We did agree however, that we're not spending a million dollars on college. Both DH and I got our undergrad degrees from a SUNY school and we got a great education so we will encourage our kids to look at the SUNY system.

As for a car, I FULLY expect our kids to work and save and help out with the purchase of their car BUT that is an expense that we're also planning on incurring once our kids are of age. Our parents helped us get our first cars, we want to help our kids too.

I'm with you on the Sweet 16 though, screw that nonsense. I'm not dropping thousands of dollars on a mini-wedding for a little girl. No way. If my DD wants that kind of celebration she can forget a car.............it's one or the other.

I get saying that you'll pay for the cost of a STATE education and not for the costs of a private education, because honestly, private University costs are OUTRAGEOUS now.... DH and I set up a 529 the second we got DS's SSN and so did my grandfather. I consider us VERY lucky in that after going to Hofstra, I only had $15K in loans by the time we got married and DH had none. I'll have my loans paid off in a few short months at this point. I definitely don't want DS to have any crazy loans to have to pay off. We'll provide for the costs of a state university, and if he wants to go private he can get scholarships (or if we have the money we will help too).

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by jessnbrian

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by evrythng4areason

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by evrythng4areason

I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.

Most things are not optional anymore and you want your child to be involved in things like sports or activities so they don't get in trouble and to be chosen for college now you have to be an overall person, not just grades.

I'm a teacher so I realize this. But again, I doubt I'm going to be spending 1k a month on activities. At that point, dd would have to choose.

Growing up I got a certain dollar amount I was able to spend on back to school clothes, and the same for summer clothes. Anything else I had I use my own money for. Holidays I knew my parents weren't spending more than say $200 on me.

DH and I also have zero intention of paying for college, a car, an extravagant sweet 16, or anything of that nature so I suppose that impacts the amount of cost.

I also think I'm lucky, bc in our neighborhood kids do go knock on doors and play with one another. Kids are always in and out of houses on my block.

I do plan on putting dd in some activities, but as a whole I'm also not the person who has to go to the zoo or acquarium or a class every weekend. It's just not reality to me.

A little off topic but you're NOT going to help your kids pay for college??? At all???? Or help them get their first car???

I've been strapped with student loans for years and it SUCKS. We already set up 529 plans for both of our kids and we contribute what we can right now. DH and I are hoping to put away as much money as we can for them because I don't want them to have to graduate with loans, if possible. We did agree however, that we're not spending a million dollars on college. Both DH and I got our undergrad degrees from a SUNY school and we got a great education so we will encourage our kids to look at the SUNY system.

As for a car, I FULLY expect our kids to work and save and help out with the purchase of their car BUT that is an expense that we're also planning on incurring once our kids are of age. Our parents helped us get our first cars, we want to help our kids too.

I'm with you on the Sweet 16 though, screw that nonsense. I'm not dropping thousands of dollars on a mini-wedding for a little girl. No way. If my DD wants that kind of celebration she can forget a car.............it's one or the other.

I get saying that you'll pay for the cost of a STATE education and not for the costs of a private education, because honestly, private University costs are OUTRAGEOUS now.... DH and I set up a 529 the second we got DS's SSN and so did my grandfather. I consider us VERY lucky in that after going to Hofstra, I only had $15K in loans by the time we got married and DH had none. I'll have my loans paid off in a few short months at this point. I definitely don't want DS to have any crazy loans to have to pay off. We'll provide for the costs of a state university, and if he wants to go private he can get scholarships (or if we have the money we will help too).

I actually went to Hofstra (hence my screen name ) my first year and it was expensive but my parents covered it. However, it ate up a lot of their money set aside for college so when I transferred into SUNY Stony Brook the following year they weren't able to afford the next three years of school 100% so I ended up with some loans. Then I went back to Hofstra for my Masters (I was out of the house and on my own at that point) and I ended up with more student loans for my degree.

It's just annoying having to start your adult life already in debt so I'd like to do what I can to help my kids subsidize their education. I don't want them feeling strapped and in debt right out of the gate. KWIM? If they choose to attend a private university then we'll contribute what we can and they will HAVE to either get loans OR scholarships for the rest. We will encourage them to go the SUNY route for sure though.

Re: Baby vs older child expenses

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by jessnbrian

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by evrythng4areason

Posted by afternoondelight828

Posted by evrythng4areason

I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.

Most things are not optional anymore and you want your child to be involved in things like sports or activities so they don't get in trouble and to be chosen for college now you have to be an overall person, not just grades.

I'm a teacher so I realize this. But again, I doubt I'm going to be spending 1k a month on activities. At that point, dd would have to choose.

Growing up I got a certain dollar amount I was able to spend on back to school clothes, and the same for summer clothes. Anything else I had I use my own money for. Holidays I knew my parents weren't spending more than say $200 on me.

DH and I also have zero intention of paying for college, a car, an extravagant sweet 16, or anything of that nature so I suppose that impacts the amount of cost.

I also think I'm lucky, bc in our neighborhood kids do go knock on doors and play with one another. Kids are always in and out of houses on my block.

I do plan on putting dd in some activities, but as a whole I'm also not the person who has to go to the zoo or acquarium or a class every weekend. It's just not reality to me.

A little off topic but you're NOT going to help your kids pay for college??? At all???? Or help them get their first car???

I've been strapped with student loans for years and it SUCKS. We already set up 529 plans for both of our kids and we contribute what we can right now. DH and I are hoping to put away as much money as we can for them because I don't want them to have to graduate with loans, if possible. We did agree however, that we're not spending a million dollars on college. Both DH and I got our undergrad degrees from a SUNY school and we got a great education so we will encourage our kids to look at the SUNY system.

As for a car, I FULLY expect our kids to work and save and help out with the purchase of their car BUT that is an expense that we're also planning on incurring once our kids are of age. Our parents helped us get our first cars, we want to help our kids too.

I'm with you on the Sweet 16 though, screw that nonsense. I'm not dropping thousands of dollars on a mini-wedding for a little girl. No way. If my DD wants that kind of celebration she can forget a car.............it's one or the other.

I get saying that you'll pay for the cost of a STATE education and not for the costs of a private education, because honestly, private University costs are OUTRAGEOUS now.... DH and I set up a 529 the second we got DS's SSN and so did my grandfather. I consider us VERY lucky in that after going to Hofstra, I only had $15K in loans by the time we got married and DH had none. I'll have my loans paid off in a few short months at this point. I definitely don't want DS to have any crazy loans to have to pay off. We'll provide for the costs of a state university, and if he wants to go private he can get scholarships (or if we have the money we will help too).

I actually went to Hofstra (hence my screen name ) my first year and it was expensive but my parents covered it. However, it ate up a lot of their money set aside for college so when I transferred into SUNY Stony Brook the following year they weren't able to afford the next three years of school 100% so I ended up with some loans. Then I went back to Hofstra for my Masters (I was out of the house and on my own at that point) and I ended up with more student loans for my degree.

It's just annoying having to start your adult life already in debt so I'd like to do what I can to help my kids subsidize their education. I don't want them feeling strapped and in debt right out of the gate. KWIM? If they choose to attend a private university then we'll contribute what we can and they will HAVE to either get loans OR scholarships for the rest. We will encourage them to go the SUNY route for sure though.