| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 [2] |
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Babysitting problem- WWYD????
Posted by blustar214
I think that I am in the minority here, but if you never explicitly told her that you didn't want her driving your son, then I don't see that she did anything 'wrong'. Also, like the PP mentioned, did you give her a car seat? And if you did I would think that, absent other instructions, it was implicit consent for her to drive him places.
I think that it's kind of hard to ask a family member to watch your kids all day and have them stuck in the house.
I'm not sure if you posted how old your DS is, so I'm not sure, but I think it's nice for everyone to get out of the house.
If you feel strongly about not having anyone but you driving your DS then I think you need to tell her, and if she doesn't want to be housebound then I guess it's time to look for new arrangements.
Good luck!!!
I agree with this but I would also think that a babysitter would mention that she'd like to take ds out (obviously not the case here).
|
Posted 5/14/13 10:23 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Traysee
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 652 total posts
Name:
|
Babysitting problem- WWYD????
Ok, so I am a little type A. My twins are 2 years old and have not been driven by anyone but me in my huge truck (the biggest one they make) and on the very rare occasion by DH. Except for one day that my sister had to take them because I was laid out flat so sick I couldn't function. If I could wrap my truck in bullet proof armor plating I would.
So to me this is a huge deal. Most of my paranoia comes from most people not buckling them into the car seats correctly. Most people do not know to pull the slack out of the hips, to check the tightness is correct, to make sure the straps are actually on the shoulders, babies should not even technically wear coats and puffy jackets in their car seats (it is recommended that you use a blanket over the car seat or put the coat on backwards on top of the babies) because during a crash layers of clothing compress and the baby can go flying out the tops of the straps. Most people don't even check to make sure the top clip is at the arm pits. So combine that with the fact your baby is only 4 months old would give me facial tics LOL.
However, I would have been very explicit that she not go out and pay accordingly. I think she gets a free pass for that day because of that but not in the future. It is only 1 day a week and if you are paying going rates then you should be able to have a say.
If she had him full time and she was getting paid a token fee then I think she should be entitled to more flexibility. I have less of a problem with going for walks in the stroller to the park etc BUT when you have the huge responsibility of watching someones most precious possession your focus needs to be solely on that. It may be easier with a 4 month old but how old is her granddaughter? Her focus is already split and it will be even harder when they are older.
You need to have the conversation. I would say something like "It is my fault for not telling you before that we are very uncomfortable with you taking the baby in the car. We do not want you to do it in the future so can you please run your errands on the other days of the week when he is not with you. "
Message edited 5/14/2013 10:25:48 AM.
|
| Posted 5/14/13 10:25 AM |
| |
|
Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
|
Re: Babysitting problem- WWYD????
Posted by Traysee
Ok, so I am a little type A. My twins are 2 years old and have not been driven by anyone but me in my huge truck (the biggest one they make) and on the very rare occasion by DH. Except for one day that my sister had to take them because I was laid out flat so sick I couldn't function. If I could wrap my truck in bullet proof armor plating I would.
So to me this is a huge deal. Most of my paranoia comes from most people not buckling them into the car seats correctly. Most people do not know to pull the slack out of the hips, to check the tightness is correct, to make sure the straps are actually on the shoulders, babies should not even technically wear coats and puffy jackets in their car seats (it is recommended that you use a blanket over the car seat or put the coat on backwards on top of the babies) because during a crash layers of clothing compress and the baby can go flying out the tops of the straps. Most people don't even check to make sure the top clip is at the arm pits. So combine that with the fact your baby is only 4 months old would give me facial tics LOL.
However, I would have been very explicit that she not go out and pay accordingly. I think she gets a free pass for that day because of that but not in the future. It is only 1 day a week and if you are paying going rates then you should be able to have a say.
If she had him full time and she was getting paid a token fee then I think she should be entitled to more flexibility. I have less of a problem with going for walks in the stroller to the park etc BUT when you have the huge responsibility of watching someones most precious possession your focus needs to be solely on that. It may be easier with a 4 month old but how old is her granddaughter? Her focus is already split and it will be even harder when they are older.
You need to have the conversation. I would say something like "It is my fault for not telling you before that we are very uncomfortable with you taking the baby in the car. We do not want you to do it in the future so can you please run your errands on the other days of the week when he is not with you. "
Her granddaughter is 3 years old. And the fact that her car broke down and she wasn't even going to tell me bothers me also. yes, I pay her the going rate and treat her like an employee, so if I were to cancel on her that day, I still pay her for the day. So, I feel that I should be given that courtesy as well. If she were watching a strangers kid, I would hope she would say "i'm going to take him to the park, is that ok?" All i'm asking is to be kept in the loop...he is my son after all, I think i deserve that.
|
| Posted 5/14/13 10:28 AM |
| |
|
JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Babysitting problem- WWYD????
I'm not of the 'If I trust you to watch my kid, I trust you to drive them' scool of thought. I know many people who I would trust to watch my daughters- but I only let a couple of people drive them- and I get nervous about even that. Just because you're an awesome babysitter doesn't mean you're an awesome driver.
|
| Posted 5/14/13 10:48 AM |
| |
|
JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: Babysitting problem- WWYD????
Posted by Beachgirl59
Her granddaughter is 3 years old. And the fact that her car broke down and she wasn't even going to tell me bothers me also. yes, I pay her the going rate and treat her like an employee, so if I were to cancel on her that day, I still pay her for the day. So, I feel that I should be given that courtesy as well. If she were watching a strangers kid, I would hope she would say "i'm going to take him to the park, is that ok?" All i'm asking is to be kept in the loop...he is my son after all, I think i deserve that.
I think you should tell her just that. "I need you to tell me if you're planning on going somewhere"
|
| Posted 5/14/13 10:50 AM |
| |
|
Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
|
Babysitting problem- WWYD????
I would look at this like a first offense. You never clearly stated that she couldn't take DC out, so there may be a misunderstanding on both sides. It becomes WW3 if you make it WW3. I would calmly let her know that in the future, if she takes your child out, that you would like to know. It doesn't need to be dramatic, just keep it simple. If it continues without your knowledge, then I'd look for a different sitter.
Message edited 5/14/2013 11:26:21 AM.
|
| Posted 5/14/13 11:25 AM |
| |
|
Beachgirl59
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 296 total posts
Name:
K
|
Re: Babysitting problem- WWYD????
Posted by Kitten1929
I would look at this like a first offense. You never clearly stated that she couldn't take DC out, so there may be a misunderstanding on both sides. It becomes WW3 if you make it WW3. I would calmly let her know that in the future, if she takes your child out, that you would like to know. It doesn't need to be dramatic, just keep it simple. If it continues without your knowledge, then I'd look for a different sitter.
Yeah this is exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to tell her it's nothing against her. I'm a new mom and would jus tlike to know where my son is. If anything every happned to him I would never forgive myself.
|
| Posted 5/14/13 11:27 AM |
| |
|
lucky1007
My Princess is Here!
Member since 11/11 1131 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Babysitting problem- WWYD????
I would be concerned about not having the base in the car. I know you mentioned she's older, she probably didn't really think anything of it. Plus she's family so she probably didn't think she needed permission to take LO out for the day especially since she's an "elder" in the family.
As for the "stranger" picking them up. I would think that if DH's aunt trusts this person, then it would be ok with me. I'd rather them be picked up by someone aunt knows rather than having to call a cab.
I'd be more upset about the overall calmness she had of the situation. Then I would lay down some ground rules.
let her know that you'd really like to know where they are going. If you were to come home early and find them missing you would freak out. And that you would prefer LO to go local, or here or there, and not for the whole day etc.
|
| Posted 5/14/13 11:44 AM |
| |
|
missfabulous
#mommyneedswine
Member since 6/09 10031 total posts
Name:
Colleen
|
Re: Babysitting problem- WWYD????
Posted by Beachgirl59
Posted by Kitten1929
I would look at this like a first offense. You never clearly stated that she couldn't take DC out, so there may be a misunderstanding on both sides. It becomes WW3 if you make it WW3. I would calmly let her know that in the future, if she takes your child out, that you would like to know. It doesn't need to be dramatic, just keep it simple. If it continues without your knowledge, then I'd look for a different sitter.
Yeah this is exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to tell her it's nothing against her. I'm a new mom and would jus tlike to know where my son is. If anything every happned to him I would never forgive myself.
This is a great idea. I completely understand what you are saying. "Out for the day" isn't an answer. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Hopefully, after you speak with her about it, everything will be smoothed over and you can put your mind at ease. 
|
| Posted 5/14/13 12:17 PM |
| |
|
lakadema
LIF Adult
Member since 5/08 1180 total posts
Name:
Danielle
|
Re: Babysitting problem- WWYD????
I can't seem to get past the "we were going out for the day" part if she doesn't have the base to the car seat. How on earth did she put your kid in the car? Did she just rest the car seat on the backseat and buckle it in that way? If so, that's illegal and very dangerous.
Maybe I'm missing something but if someone did something like I described above they would not be watching my child anymore. That's an accident waiting to happen.
|
| Posted 5/14/13 2:39 PM |
| |
|
nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
|
Re: Babysitting problem- WWYD????
Posted by lakadema
I can't seem to get past the "we were going out for the day" part if she doesn't have the base to the car seat. How on earth did she put your kid in the car? Did she just rest the car seat on the backseat and buckle it in that way? If so, that's illegal and very dangerous.
Maybe I'm missing something but if someone did something like I described above they would not be watching my child anymore. That's an accident waiting to happen.
Actually, there is a proper way to use the seatbelt with the carrier. It's not illegal at all.
|
| Posted 5/14/13 2:51 PM |
| |
|
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
|
Re: Babysitting problem- WWYD????
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by lakadema
I can't seem to get past the "we were going out for the day" part if she doesn't have the base to the car seat. How on earth did she put your kid in the car? Did she just rest the car seat on the backseat and buckle it in that way? If so, that's illegal and very dangerous.
Maybe I'm missing something but if someone did something like I described above they would not be watching my child anymore. That's an accident waiting to happen.
Actually, there is a proper way to use the seatbelt with the carrier. It's not illegal at all.
But are we sure she KNOWS that way?
I know I don't.
THat would make me nervous.
How was she securing that car seat?
I know my parents are in that age bracket and they just don't "get it" when it comes to car seats.
Back when they had kids, car seats and laws were nowhere NEAR what they are today.
They are always saying how I'm making the straps too tight on DD, it's going to hurt her etc.
I just feel like a 60 year old may not know how to secure a car seat with no base.
Message edited 5/14/2013 2:57:49 PM.
|
| Posted 5/14/13 2:56 PM |
| |
|
JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Babysitting problem- WWYD????
Umm, no. No, no, no. I have only let Dd drive with someone other than DH or I once and that was with my sister because I had food poisoning and couldn't get out of bed and she only took my DD to school. I would be LIVID if someone put my child in a car without me knowing. And when they got in the other person's car, was your child in a properly installed car seat? I'm sorry, but I would be freaking out and that Aunt would not be watching my child anymore.
|
| Posted 5/14/13 3:03 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 [2] |
