BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

I will start... There was a lot of stuff that I didn't know, and I wish someone had told me, so here goes...

1) You will still look preggo for a while after giving birth. So be prepared...

2) Make sure you have comfortable clothes to wear when you get home, if you don't want to wear your maternity clothes.
-drawstring waist pants in a larger size than you would exprect
-comfy tees
-Granny Panties...the briefs. You will need them for the giant pads. I bled for 6 weeks...I had nooooooooo idea that would happen.
-buy breast pads- even if you don't plan on breast feeding. Your breasts will become engorged and it really hurts. The padding will protect them and catch any milk that may come out. Playtex make disposable ones.

3) Even if you think that you don't want visitors, or help at home or in the hospital.... you may very well change your mind... Don't turn everyone away, you may really need help..

4) If possible, stock your freezer with a ton of pre-made meals before the baby comes. It really does come in handy.

5) If you are not familiar with Peapod right now, try it, it will be a life saver.

6)If you can get a cleaning person or friend/relative to clean and /or do laundry for at least the first month after birth, it is a life saver.

7) Ohh, I almost forgot, if you are in pain after birth, take the pain meds...don't be a hero, it will really help.

8) Buy a ton of Thank You cards and stamps before baby arrives. You will get non-stop gifts for a long time. If you have them already inthe house, you can just write them out and mail them as the gifts come in.

9) Make sure all baby gear is put together at least 4 weeks before due date...especially the car seat!!!

10) Have all the necessities for baby ahead of time too... Diapers wipes vaseline, formula,etc

11) Pick a pediatrician. You will get one in the hospital, if you don't already have one. But, most of us would rather go by other parents suggestions. Just ask on Parenting..

12) As prepared as you think you are, you are never truly prepared for this crazy ride!!! It is the best, the worst, the hardest, and the most rewarding and amazing thing that will ever happen top you~~~~ Good luck Mommies!!!!!

Message edited 7/15/2008 11:27:22 PM.

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

Good thread !! The things I dint know or think about were ...

1- You bleed for 6-8 weeks after the baby

2- Some hospitals dont let you walk around with your baby outside of your room he/she will have to be in the bassinet

3- Take a shower before you go if you can or when your there ,it helped me !

4-when it comes time to push ,dont push with your face push like you want to pooh ,when you push with your face you will only prolong things and break the vessels in your face !

5- ITA with Avamamma's ideas !!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

This is great...thank you ladies!!!!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

When the baby sleeps you should too.....don't worry about dinner, laundry, dust bunnies, etc. Believe me, they will be there when you wake up! Sleep is so important and sleep deprivation will make it very difficult to handle a baby who you don't know very well yet.

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

OMG- SLEEP when the baby sleeps. I cannot tell you how true that is. My lactation consultant told my husband, "You're wife's job for the next 6 weeks is to eat, sleep, and feed the baby. Do NOT expect her to cook, clean, or do any household chores."

I cannot TELL you how just a few hours of sleep made me feel like I could conquer the world.

Some others:

You WILL somehow survive living on 3-4 hour snatches of sleep. It doesn't seem possible, but it happens. THATS why you "sleep when the baby sleeps".

For those who want to BF, find a LC in your area before you give birth. As supportive as DH was, and as much help as I got in the hospital, BFing was still very difficult at home. My LC was such a wonderful source of support and encouragement.

It's possible to not get a "rush of love" the first time you lay eyes on your newborn. After delivery, I just wanted EVERYONE to leave me alone. I was so overwhelmed with exhaustion and the sheer awe of what was to come, that I felt really indifferent at first. This lasted a few days/weeks. As tiny as they are, newborns can be terrifying little creatures. We called DD "little stranger" for the longest time. It takes time to get to know one another and to work together as a mother/child team. So while you are getting to know your LO, know that it is OK to feel overwhelmed and less than excited about the experience. I don't know WHEN it happend, but one day "it" just clicked and I felt comfortable in my new role.

Finally, it really is the most amazing experience in the world. As hard as the newborn phase is, over time it really DOES get better.

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

Take home the bottle the hospital gives you when you pee. You fill it up with warm water and pee at the same time so you don't get any burning. It's the best thing ever! Keeps your stitches clean too...

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

And this maybe TMI - but they give you a little "mommy kit" that includes that little water bottle to rinse down there when you pee, aspirin, witch hazel pads, creme (to help with stitches tears in your va jay area) to help with the burning - USE IT ALL AND TAKE IT WITH YOU!!! Take some of the extra long mammoth sized pads - you will use them for a day or 2 after vaginal delivery - AND TAKE THE STOOL SOFTENER!!!!! OMG - trying to go #2 after pushing a baby out is NOT EASY!! TAKE THE LITTLE PILLS and bring them home with you

Message edited 7/16/2008 8:32:24 AM.

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

This is very helpful, thanks
But I WILL add that you guys are scaring the SH!T out of me!!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

Posted by 1stimemom

This is very helpful, thanks
But I WILL add that you guys are scaring the SH!T out of me!!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

Besides all the pp, these were the biggest for me:

Be prepared to not look pregnant after giving birth - everyone says you still look pregnant, but sometimes you don't and you miss your bump

You'll miss being pregnant - everything from your belly, to feeling dc kick you, the way people treat you - I missed everything

You and dh will fight like never before - after the euphoria wears off and sleeplessness sets in you start to get a little nasty with one another. The first 3 months are definately the hardest and then it got so much better. No one told me this until I started telling people about me and dh and then they all said "ya, that happened to us to!" - why didn't anyone tell me then!!

My boobs leaked a lot - I thought they would only leak a couple of days but it lasted a couple of weeks.

It was VERY difficult to go to the bathroom for the first time after my c-section. Hurt more than my incision pain.

Have meals prepared.

I'm sure I'll think of more!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

You'll cry. Possibly a lot. Probably over nothing. It's natural and normal. You're not crazy.

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

i agree with everything you all wrote!

*even if you think you'll be EBF, bring home the single ready-to-feed formula bottles and nipples from the bassinet. we needed to supplement with formula (and eventually switched to formula) on the second day home and those were a godsend. it doesn't hurt to have them even if you never use them
*take EVERYTHING they give you and ask for extras. you will need at least 2 full bags of the pads before you can switch to smaller ones. ask for extas--they'll give them to you.
*if you give birth overnight and fall asleep after giving birth, when you wake up you may not be able to hold your bladder when you first wake up. you are so overloaded with fluids between urine and the 5+ bags of fluids that they pumped into you. it's completely normal--they told me to expect it.

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

This is such a great idea, thanks for all of your advice!!!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

Ok here is my list it can go on forever though:

1. You will not get any sleep and will be frustrated and very overwhelmed. So please get HELP from family members and dont be afraid to ask for HELP.

2., Breastfeeding HURTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTS. After 3 weeks it gets better. You will cry in pain and will want to give up but keep at it and you will be fine.

3. You dont need to buy every single thing for the baby before they are born. You willnot use half of the stuff you get a baby shower.

4. All of the newborn clothes you get will only last one week. After that the baby wont be able to wear it anymore. Unless your babie is a premie. I have stuff from DS that still has tags on it and plenty of things that he didnt wear

5. You and your DH might find it hard to get along for the first few months. Having a baby is a real challenge and is stressful so dont expect everything to be all peachy and happy. Things will even themselves out over time once you and DH get in to a routine.

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

Posted by Stephybaby

Posted by 1stimemom

This is very helpful, thanks
But I WILL add that you guys are scaring the SH!T out of me!!

me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

I'm not sure if I'm adding anything new here, but here ya go:

1.All the fears you have now about being embarrased...and you know what I mean...won't mean a thing on the delivery table....modesty goes right out the window!!

2. Get a foam donut to sit on and ice packs as well...I had an episiotomy and this helped me tremendously!!

3. Have Tucks medicated pads in the house for those painful and embarrasing hemorrhoids

4. Bring your own pillows to the hospital!! They really help you sleep!!

5. If you are not feeling up for visitors simply have your DH call people and tell them - there is nothing wrong with it and if people don't understand, well...tough.

6. Gas - I'll leave it at that....your hospital "roommate" will just have to deal and get over it.

If I think of more, I'll edit the post...I'm down to 11 days for #2, so I'll have to heed my own advice here!!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

Thanks for posting ladies!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

Keep it coming!!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

1. You WILL be an emotional mess (I cried every day for 2 weeks straight) this is normal

2. You will NOT get any sleep, just be prepared

3. It is the most amazing experience, I cannot wait to go through it all again

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

Thanks for the helpful tips.

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

There are some great tips already listed!

1. Earth Mama/Angel Baby Bottom Balm (for Mommy) is out of this world…better than anything the hospital gives you! The peri bottle is great too.

2. Take some chuck pads home, just in case. I didn’t need them but was happy to have them.

3. Yoga pants/capris are a girls best friend early on!

4. I can’t agree with other posters enough—take everything you can home…diapers, vasoline, etc. Then, say you ran out (or have DH tell a nurse) and get more. IMO, you pay for your insurance and you should reasonably partake of what is available.

5. Nobody ever told me that it was normal to shake/shiver during labor due to horomones (plus the ultra cold hospital). When one nurse finally told me I felt better. There were times I felt it was completely uncontrollable! It even continued a bit a night after delivering for a few days.

6. Nursing tanks and sleep bras are also a girl’s best friend (BFing or not), espeically early on.

7. I loved having my own pads to use at the hospital…can’t wear those phone books (except right after delivery).

8. DD needs her newborn sized clothes (she's 1 month this weekend and won't be growing out of them any time soon).

9. Just when you think the bleeding is ending, it can come back again.

10. It's amazing how emotional you can get with those hormones! I cried like crazy!

11. Take the help people offer!

12. Realize that you won't get out of the house much after giving birth. I have found this hard to deal with as I am the type to always be out and doing things. It's an adjustment for me.

13. The L&D nurses at Winthrop were wonderful, just wonderful!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

What a great thread! Here's what I wish someone would have told me:

1. Don't be alarmed if your whole body is swollen from all the IV fluid they give you. It took me over a week to get the swelling out of my ankles and hands. I was so swollen that the shoes I wore to L&D didn't fit me on my way out and I had to wear my shower flip flops home.

2. Dermoplast will become your best friend! That's the numbing spray they gave me at the hospital. DH later went out to CVS and bought more of it so I could keep using it down there when I got home.

3. Make sure to take the peri bottle home with you. I forgot to take mine home and DH later had to go back to the hospital and ask for an extra one. Squirting water with the bottle provides major relief.

3. As other PPs mentioned, it's okay not to want visitors. I was so exhausted that I didn't want to see anyone aside from DH and people became concerned about me. I was simply exhausted and just wanted to sleep.

4. Going to the bathroom the first time after delivery is a total nightmare. Trying to pee and poop is scary. As other PPs have said, take the stool softener. I was so scared to go because I was afraid that I was going to rip my stitches open. Don't be afraid to call the nurses if you need help- they were lifesavers when I needed help in the bathroom.

4. If the hospital has disposable chucks, ask to take some extra ones home with you...or keep some old towels around your house. Everyone told me that the bleeding after delivery would be a "heavy period". TMI...but mine felt beyond heavy and I was dripping everywhere whenever I needed to go. It helped to keep a chuck in front of the toilet so that I didn't keep making a mess everywhere

5. Initial night time feedings are no fun when you're so tired. You and DH will begin to wonder how the baby you brought home went from being so sweet to being a demon child :) Don't worry- it'll get better!

6. I brought all these new nice nursing clothes to wear in the hospital and didn't really use them because I kept ruining my own clothes from all the bleeding. I did end up making use of them at home though.

Would I go through this experience again? Yes! In a heartbeat if it means another baby

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

NOTEBOOKED!!
Thank you so much ladies!! this is all great advice!!

i love advice from the trenches!! thank you thank you!!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

Thank you ladies!!! This is great!!

Re: BTDT Moms...We should make a list of "what to expect" after delivery for the first time Moms...

Everything everyone has said is SO true !...the only things I can add are-

* Buy a cheap pair of shoesa 1/2 size bigger than you normally wear- My swelling got really bad after DS was born !

* I never realized how bad the bleeding would be with a c-section...Dont ruin any good clothes , plan on darker colors etc...

* If you have a 2 level house, try to make a station for changing etc.. both up and down before baby gets here

* Gas was horrible for me- so bad I almost asked for the "e" word (enema ) there is no shame after you deliver !!!