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karenk71
Love
Member since 6/06 1547 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by Ophelia
Is "childless by choice " accurate though?
I think the bigger issue is when it's not by choice, and all of the ramifications of that choice essentially being taken away from you for whatever reason.
I think it should be called Childless Families.
and I just want to add that I wish everyone much joy and fulfillment in their lives.
I'm not "childless by choice"...I think the name needs to be changed.
Thanks!
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Posted 3/9/09 10:39 AM  |
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JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by Ophelia
Is "childless by choice " accurate though?
I think the bigger issue is when it's not by choice, and all of the ramifications of that choice essentially being taken away from you for whatever reason.
I think it should be called Childless Families.
and I just want to add that I wish everyone much joy and fulfillment in their lives.
ITA
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| Posted 3/9/09 10:41 AM |
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ihilani
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 858 total posts
Name:
alias
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Thanks so much!!! 
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| Posted 3/9/09 11:00 AM |
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freshstuff
I would do me
Member since 5/08 1188 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
I have been following this thread and I can't belive that people will comment on how someone should live their life. I have friends who don't want children and me, someone with kids I tell them "I don't blame you, that is awesome!" Plus I am sure my children are great birth control for them, lol. My friends without kids live an awesome happy lifestyle and I love hearing about it! Their vacations, nice dinners, great jobs. I don't doubt for one second that they aren't happy because they have one of the happiest marriages I've ever seen plus the cleanest house sans hand prints. I think people should just be able to live their lives however they want and people should keep their comments to themselves.
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| Posted 3/9/09 11:29 AM |
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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Parenting is definitely not for everyone and that's okay. I think it is so rude for people to question why people don't have kids or want kids!
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| Posted 3/9/09 11:33 AM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
I was married for 6 years before we decided we wanted children. I hated the questions and the looks.
So rude!
I have a friend that chooses not to have children. I hate when people make comments or say, "she is selfish".
Here is a picture that hangs in her house :
 Image Attachment(s):
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| Posted 3/9/09 11:43 AM |
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Blazesyth
*yawn*
Member since 5/05 8129 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by sleepie76
Here is a picture that hangs in her house :
"Right click - save as..."
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| Posted 3/9/09 12:03 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I will be honest, I think the following questions are RUDE and should never be asked - unless it is to your BEST friend who is comfortable sharing everything with you - and if that's the case, you should know anyway:
When are you getting married?
Is this your first marriage?
When are you having kids?
Do you want kids?
Why don't you want kids?
And
Are you pregnant?
Seriously. In a million years, I don't understand why people think it's THEIR business to know your business. I am sorry you ladies have to go through that!!! 
Please add-Do twins run in your family? So nosy esp with fertility drugs being so widely used today.
People are idiots thats what I have to say about this. They do not know when to keep their mouths shut and MTOB. I think a childless board is a good idea.
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| Posted 3/9/09 12:04 PM |
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EmmaNick
*
Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by sleepie76
I was married for 6 years before we decided we wanted children. I hated the questions and the looks.
So rude!
I have a friend that chooses not to have children. I hate when people make comments or say, "she is selfish".
Here is a picture that hangs in her house :
I have children, but that made me chuckle 
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| Posted 3/9/09 12:53 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by sleepie76
I was married for 6 years before we decided we wanted children. I hated the questions and the looks.
So rude!
I have a friend that chooses not to have children. I hate when people make comments or say, "she is selfish".
Here is a picture that hangs in her house :
I would never say your friend is selfish, I don't get why other people CARE if some choose not to have kids. It's their choice and no one should ever feel like having children is the thing to do!!
However I don't like the poster...I don't know. Doesn't sit well with me and I am someone who can laugh at ANYTHING usually.
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| Posted 3/9/09 1:01 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by melijane
Please add-Do twins run in your family? So nosy esp with fertility drugs being so widely used today.
Did people ask you that a lot when you were pregnant with your twins?? That infuriates me. My BF has triplets, and another good friend is the Mom of twins. They were asked if twins/triplets ran in their families often, and they were also asked "were they natural"?, which I found exceptionally rude!!!
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| Posted 3/9/09 1:23 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by Blazesyth
Posted by sleepie76
Here is a picture that hangs in her house :
"Right click - save as..."
I'm glad we can all laugh at this and no one gets offended. It's nice to see humor on our side of the coin.
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| Posted 3/9/09 1:39 PM |
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imas98
Love my Furbaby
Member since 10/07 1140 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by luvsbob4603
I think that's another reason we need a board like the OP suggested... it's a whole different mind frame...
I would love to come too, We should have a childless gtg for us ladies so we can just talk. Just an idea.
I was just thinking this too after reading this whole thread !
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:17 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
People are a$$holes honestly -
IMO if you ask someone if they have children, and they say no - thatis the end of the conversation. - If they say yes, well, THEN you can continue w/ "oh how old are they" blah blah ....otherwise, there's nothing further to discuss - KWIM?
It is absolutely NO ONE's business why.
No one should ever have to explain their personal choices, or their fertility problems -
Couples who are childless by choice are not interested in hearing about how WONDERFUL your children are, how you can't IMAGINE your life w/o them, how they will regret NOT having their own, how YOU think their lives are not complete - blah blah blah -
And those who are childless for other reasons do NOT in any way shape or form need your pity and tsk tsk "Poor You" BS .........
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:43 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by Annie91606
Posted by melijane
Please add-Do twins run in your family? So nosy esp with fertility drugs being so widely used today.
Did people ask you that a lot when you were pregnant with your twins?? That infuriates me. My BF has triplets, and another good friend is the Mom of twins. They were asked if twins/triplets ran in their families often, and they were also asked "were they natural"?, which I found exceptionally rude!!!
I got this question ALL the time and still do.
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:46 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Bottom line- there is someone who has a comment/question on everything.
When are you getting engaged?
When are you getting married?
When are you having kids?
Is that your "first"?
When are you having your second?
When are you moving out of the city?
When are you moving out of an apartment into a house?
When are you moving into a bigger house?
When are you sending the kids to camp?
When are your kids getting engaged/getting married/having kids...?
When are you retiring?
When are you moving to Boca?
When are you going to teh old age home?
What, you haven't picked out your tombstone yet?
It reminds be of that SATC episode when MIranda has a "schpeil" about why she is still single- and runs into a married friend with a schpeil about why she doesn't have kids. Everyone does thing that are right for them at their own time.
But the questions/comments - It just doesn't stop. People will always question/comment on your life. Just brush it off that some people care, some people are rude, and some people are nosy. Its just a part of life.
Message edited 3/9/2009 3:38:03 PM.
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| Posted 3/9/09 3:20 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by karenk71
Posted by Ophelia
Is "childless by choice " accurate though?
I think the bigger issue is when it's not by choice, and all of the ramifications of that choice essentially being taken away from you for whatever reason.
I think it should be called Childless Families.
and I just want to add that I wish everyone much joy and fulfillment in their lives.
I'm not "childless by choice"...I think the name needs to be changed.
Thanks!
- Ok- a bit confused here... how are childless people not childless "by choice"?
I thought people can always adopt(granted babies may take longer to adopt, may need to adopt from another country, or adopt a child who is a few years old
and if there is a couple and only one wants kids, it is the persons choice to stay with their significant other rather than pursuing a child in a new life..
just trying to understand how its not by choice?
Thanks!!!
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| Posted 3/9/09 7:35 PM |
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MrsM-6-7-08
<3
Member since 8/06 4249 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by butterfly20
Posted by karenk71
Posted by Ophelia
Is "childless by choice " accurate though?
I think the bigger issue is when it's not by choice, and all of the ramifications of that choice essentially being taken away from you for whatever reason.
I think it should be called Childless Families.
and I just want to add that I wish everyone much joy and fulfillment in their lives.
I'm not "childless by choice"...I think the name needs to be changed.
Thanks!
- Ok- a bit confused here... how are childless people not childless "by choice"?
I thought people can always adopt(granted babies may take longer to adopt, may need to adopt from another country, or adopt a child who is a few years old
and if there is a couple and only one wants kids, it is the persons choice to stay with their significant other rather than pursuing a child in a new life..
just trying to understand how its not by choice?
Thanks!!!
I am not 100% positive but i remember reading a thread about adoption and for some people dealing with IF its just not an option
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| Posted 3/9/09 9:50 PM |
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karenk71
Love
Member since 6/06 1547 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by butterfly20
Posted by karenk71
Posted by Ophelia
Is "childless by choice " accurate though?
I think the bigger issue is when it's not by choice, and all of the ramifications of that choice essentially being taken away from you for whatever reason.
I think it should be called Childless Families.
and I just want to add that I wish everyone much joy and fulfillment in their lives.
I'm not "childless by choice"...I think the name needs to be changed.
Thanks!
- Ok- a bit confused here... how are childless people not childless "by choice"?
I thought people can always adopt(granted babies may take longer to adopt, may need to adopt from another country, or adopt a child who is a few years old
and if there is a couple and only one wants kids, it is the persons choice to stay with their significant other rather than pursuing a child in a new life..
just trying to understand how its not by choice?
Thanks!!!
Childless by choice equals making the decision to live your life without children. I think when dealing with IF it is pretty clear that it is not my choice that I'm childless. Adoption is not always an option for everyone and is certainly not as easy as people make it sound.
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| Posted 3/9/09 10:06 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
 I know adoption is not easy... to me i guess i was looking at it as the definition of the word choice(the right to choose), as people chose not to adopt...
but i stand corrected on this topic- and have learned two words from
http://www.childfreebychoice.com/
Childfree- does not plan on having kids
Childless- wants but cannot conceive one
seems like their should be two boards over one....
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| Posted 3/9/09 10:36 PM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by butterfly20
I know adoption is not easy... to me i guess i was looking at it as the definition of the word choice(the right to choose), as people chose not to adopt...
but i stand corrected on this topic- and have learned two words from
http://www.childfreebychoice.com/
Childfree- does not plan on having kids
Childless- wants but cannot conceive one
seems like their should be two boards over one....
Hey, I'm thrilled that we got one board!
I think more than anything, the point is that childless/childfree families can mingle and share ideas and form bonds...not so much on how and why they got there
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| Posted 3/10/09 6:34 AM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by karenk71
Posted by butterfly20
Posted by karenk71
Posted by Ophelia
Is "childless by choice " accurate though?
I think the bigger issue is when it's not by choice, and all of the ramifications of that choice essentially being taken away from you for whatever reason.
I think it should be called Childless Families.
and I just want to add that I wish everyone much joy and fulfillment in their lives.
I'm not "childless by choice"...I think the name needs to be changed.
Thanks!
- Ok- a bit confused here... how are childless people not childless "by choice"?
I thought people can always adopt(granted babies may take longer to adopt, may need to adopt from another country, or adopt a child who is a few years old
and if there is a couple and only one wants kids, it is the persons choice to stay with their significant other rather than pursuing a child in a new life..
just trying to understand how its not by choice?
Thanks!!!
Childless by choice equals making the decision to live your life without children. I think when dealing with IF it is pretty clear that it is not my choice that I'm childless. Adoption is not always an option for everyone and is certainly not as easy as people make it sound.
exactly, we are choosing not to adopt, do donor egg or gestational carrier, yadda yadda yadda for our own personal reasons...We spent SEVEN YEARS and WELL OVER $100K trying to have a baby...it certainly was not my choice to be childless
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| Posted 3/10/09 6:37 AM |
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
I totally feel you! First of all speaking for others and working as an attorney for children in family court for close to three years, I can say that I have more respect for those who know they do not want to have children and don't than those who just have them because they think that it makes them mutant not to and can't give them proper care.
Being childless is a personal decision and who are others to judge? Everyone has their own preferences, and although personally, we want children and are trying, which is no one's business but ours, I think there is nothing wrong if a couple decides kids are not for them. Having children means giving up a lot of different things and if someone doesn't want to give up those things, why should they be forced to have children? So they are not pitied or looked at as a freak? I don't understand it.
Right now, I am the only married friend in my group (i am the oldest by a year, but still the only one married)-so no judgement there, but work was always another story. And TTC and not having it happen right away and listening to the dummies at work always made it worse. Like my time is not valuable, like I don't have my own struggles. So usually we spend time with childless couples, couples who had their children a long time ago, or couples with children who have enough tact not to judge us.
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| Posted 3/10/09 7:35 AM |
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by sleepie76
I was married for 6 years before we decided we wanted children. I hated the questions and the looks.
So rude!
I have a friend that chooses not to have children. I hate when people make comments or say, "she is selfish".
Here is a picture that hangs in her house :
 to your friend!
Your friend is not selfish, she is selfless-because she is not bringing yet another unwanted child into the world.
And why is it, just because you are married, you must procreate immediately? What happens if you want to enjoy each other first? We decided to start TTC on our 1 year anniversary, but the comments beforehand-OMG!
My favorite-I have a chronic debilitating illness and my co-workers know darn well. It is bad enough that I am out temporarily. So if I would say I am exhausted (because yes, your immune system attacking your body does tend to get tiring) and I would get comments like "Oh, you don't have children, you don't know what tired is". One day I fired back-well, you are not a 20 something with an incurable chronic illness that eats your joints and causes every inch of energy to be sapped. So, I would happily take your children and deal with your idea of tired if you want to trade lives with me for a day. Then come back and we will talk.
That shut them up.
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| Posted 3/10/09 7:43 AM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Childless by Choice...or Not
Posted by LisaW
Posted by butterfly20
I know adoption is not easy... to me i guess i was looking at it as the definition of the word choice(the right to choose), as people chose not to adopt...
but i stand corrected on this topic- and have learned two words from
http://www.childfreebychoice.com/
Childfree- does not plan on having kids
Childless- wants but cannot conceive one
seems like their should be two boards over one....
Hey, I'm thrilled that we got one board!
I think more than anything, the point is that childless/childfree families can mingle and share ideas and form bonds...not so much on how and why they got there
Exactly Lisa....the Parenting board isnt split up is it?
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| Posted 3/10/09 8:24 AM |
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