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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO
Posted by johnsae
Well, DD was having issues with waking up every time we put her down in her crib. I would literally be spending 4 hours a day trying to get her to go back to sleep over and over again. Now I put her in her crib when she is drowsy and not asleep. So, hearing her cry a little is less exhausting then staying awake for hours on end trying to soothe her back to sleep. It works for us. 
And now I just finally got to read this part.
Really not to be rude but what did you think being a mom was about? We all post about how hard the beginning is and how tired we are, that's part of being a parent and how worth it the exhaustion is in the end. It's not a cake walk. Why should your child suffer so you can get a full night's sleep? At 9 weeks old babies are hungry in the middle of the nightand need to be changed, they need to be cuddled and rocked to sleep. I didn't get 8 hours of sleep for 7 months and you know what at 2 years old sometimes I still don't. I think you need to reevaluate your priorities now that you're a parent.
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Posted 8/30/07 12:34 AM  |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: CIO
Posted by MrsK
Thanks for your responses!
DD is only going to be 2 months. I was thinking about giving it a try in a about a month but wanted to make sure 3 months was to little still. right now she will olny fall asleep in the swing or if I rock her....then she pops right up as soon as I lay her down! She will NOT take the paci so it's been difficult.
I'll give it a try if she's still difficult in another month. It takes me about 2-3 hours to put her to bed for the night now
Definatley wait until 5 or 6 months. I wouldn't do it with a baby that young. They usually have a hard time falling asleep and need us to help. I only started it when I noticed she didn't like being soothed or rocked- she prefered to fall asleep in her crib and this was with minimal crying- only about 20 minutes the first night, with us going in to soothe every 5 minutes.
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| Posted 8/30/07 1:14 AM |
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NS1976
My princess!
Member since 5/05 6548 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO
I am seriously and truly upset by this! I keep thinking about it. I agree with what others have said. She is 9 WEEKS OLD! This is part of what being a parent is about!!!!!! Its not good for your baby!!!!!!! She needs to feel secure, she needs to feel comfort! She doesnt know any better. She is doing what she is supposed to be doing for her age..I really cannot believe anyone would let their 9 week old cry for almost an hour!!!!!
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| Posted 8/30/07 1:18 AM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: CIO
Posted by nycchic24
I am seriously and truly upset by this! I keep thinking about it. I agree with what others have said. She is 9 WEEKS OLD! This is part of what being a parent is about!!!!!! Its not good for your baby!!!!!!! She needs to feel secure, she needs to feel comfort! She doesnt know any better. She is doing what she is supposed to be doing for her age..I really cannot believe anyone would let their 9 week old cry for almost an hour!!!!!
ITA!!!! I now feel guilty for even sharing that we did it at 5 months without a disclaimer that we did not let her cry for more than 20 minutes total and this was not non-stop. This with us going in to check on her and soothe her by patting her on the back and reassurance every five minutes or so. DO NOT DO CIO without reading the Ferber book and checking with your ped first. Its too complicated to describe in a chat room.
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| Posted 8/30/07 1:24 AM |
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mamaA
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/06 812 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: CIO
Posted by CkGm
Posted by nycchic24
I am seriously and truly upset by this! I keep thinking about it. I agree with what others have said. She is 9 WEEKS OLD! This is part of what being a parent is about!!!!!! Its not good for your baby!!!!!!! She needs to feel secure, she needs to feel comfort! She doesnt know any better. She is doing what she is supposed to be doing for her age..I really cannot believe anyone would let their 9 week old cry for almost an hour!!!!!
ITA!!!! I now feel guilty for even sharing that we did it at 5 months without a disclaimer that we did not let her cry for more than 20 minutes total and this was not non-stop. This with us going in to check on her and soothe her by patting her on the back and reassurance every five minutes or so. DO NOT DO CIO without reading the Ferber book and checking with your ped first. Its too complicated to describe in a chat room.
Exactly! It's the same to me as not taking your child to the doctor if they're sick, just neglectful.
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| Posted 8/30/07 1:32 AM |
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mamaA
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/06 812 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: CIO
Posted by MrsK
Thanks for your responses!
DD is only going to be 2 months. I was thinking about giving it a try in a about a month but wanted to make sure 3 months was to little still. right now she will olny fall asleep in the swing or if I rock her....then she pops right up as soon as I lay her down! She will NOT take the paci so it's been difficult.
I'll give it a try if she's still difficult in another month. It takes me about 2-3 hours to put her to bed for the night now
Please read what the majority of other members have said about three months being way too young, still also. What you're going through is NORMAL and to be expected. Do not take the advice of 50 minutes at nine weeks PLEASE!
Message edited 8/30/2007 1:34:37 AM.
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| Posted 8/30/07 1:34 AM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: CIO
OK I really can't stop thinking about this. My mind has been spinning since I read this. I literally want to cry for your baby. Please, please, please seek some expert advice on CIO before you do this with your helpless 9 week old infant. She needs to be held and comforted and reassured that the world around her is safe and OK no left alone in her crib to cry for an hour.
 I totally agree!
I thought when I first posted that I thought 9 weeks was too young and that I thought it was mean to let the baby cry to sleep for 50 min. that I was going to get reamed. I am glad there are others that agree with me. I couldnt imagine letting DS cry for that long. It breaks my heart when he cries.
Message edited 8/30/2007 7:04:27 AM.
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| Posted 8/30/07 6:52 AM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO
Ok. Well, thanks everyone for making me feel like a bad and neglectful mom. None of you are here with me and my daughter, so you only know what I posted in a few sentences. I have not even had a chance to explain myself.
I am sorry that you all think that 9 weeks is too early to CIO. CIO is obviously very controversial. She cried for 50 minutes the first night. DH and I were trying something new. We put her down right after we fed her - she was NOT hungry and she had just had a bath and a diaper change. Since those first two or three nights (and like I said she only cried for a long time the first night), she has not cried AT ALL when we put her down. Was that one bad night worth it imo? YES!
We are new at parenting. I would never let my daughter cry b/c I thought she was hungry or sick. We tried a new approach b/c she was getting into a bad habit of waking constantly every time we put her in her crib. I am sorry that you all do not agree with our approach, but it has worked for us. I love DD very much and would never let her suffer.
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| Posted 8/30/07 7:16 AM |
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amarto
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 908 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: CIO
You have to remember that for the first 3 months babies are still being "born" and they need to be comforted and loved- even if it's in the middle of the night. They have to feel secure and protected so CIO too early isn't recommended until later. Whenever DD cries, I'll always comfort her while shes in the crib, I won't take her out and I try to make it quick so she learns that when she's in the crib, it is sleep time.
Good Luck!
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| Posted 8/30/07 7:24 AM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO
Posted by mamaA
Posted by johnsae
We started last week (9 weeks) and it's been AWESOME. The first night she cried for 50 minutes, second night 40 minutes, 3rd night she didn't cry at all, 4th she cried for 10 min and last night she didn't cry at all! And she's been sleeping through the night each time we do CIO. Highly recommend it.
I keep re reading to make sure I read this right in the first place?! Are you for real? What makes you think a nine week old should be sleeping through the night in the first place? My son was still waking for feedings until well after three months in the middle of the night?!!!!!!!! Don't you think she's HUNGRY?!
Of course I feed her when she wakes in the middle of the night. If she wakes up crying I go and get her. I'm talking about when she initially goes to sleep.
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| Posted 8/30/07 7:33 AM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO
Posted by monkeybride
Posted by johnsae
Well, DD was having issues with waking up every time we put her down in her crib. I would literally be spending 4 hours a day trying to get her to go back to sleep over and over again. Now I put her in her crib when she is drowsy and not asleep. So, hearing her cry a little is less exhausting then staying awake for hours on end trying to soothe her back to sleep. It works for us.
And now I just finally got to read this part.
Really not to be rude but what did you think being a mom was about? We all post about how hard the beginning is and how tired we are, that's part of being a parent and how worth it the exhaustion is in the end. It's not a cake walk. Why should your child suffer so you can get a full night's sleep? At 9 weeks old babies are hungry in the middle of the nightand need to be changed, they need to be cuddled and rocked to sleep. I didn't get 8 hours of sleep for 7 months and you know what at 2 years old sometimes I still don't. I think you need to reevaluate your priorities now that you're a parent.
I get up with her in the middle of the night. I'm not a monster, geez! I guess my first posts were misunderstood. My priority isn't to get a good night's sleep. It is to get my daughter to have healthy sleeping habits. And yes, I read Ferber's book.
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| Posted 8/30/07 7:36 AM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: CIO
Johnsae-I'm sorry you were hurt and made to feel like a neglectful mom...that isn't fair to you, and I'm sure you are doing what you think works for you guys....
I think sometimes people forget that some babies are so so different from others. If a mom is struggling with a baby that cries and cries for no apparent reason for hours on end, I'm sure you feel desperate and do what you can.
In the defense of anyone who responded to you though, I have to admit that I too think 9 weeks is a tad young ONLY because like others said..their nervous system is still immature, sleep patterns are ALWAYS erratic for little babies and sometimes they just need that comfort of being held. That's all.
I think the CIO is established at a certain age for a reason, when babies are at the point of being able to self soothe. Most would agree that 9 week olds haven't mastered that.
At any rate, don't take it to heart, I think we all have our struggles!!
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| Posted 8/30/07 7:44 AM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: CIO
we started CIO last night...so heartbreaking 
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| Posted 8/30/07 8:39 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: CIO
Posted by nycchic24
Thank you. I couldn't have said it better myself.
Even doctors don't recommend CIO before 4 months. 9 weeks is way too young in probably any experts opinion and definitely not for 50 minutes. Sorry but that is just cruel IMO.
I 100% AGREE!!!!!!!!!!! That is definately cruel and unnecessary imo. I actually feel really bad for your baby to be honest.
wow, that was VERY unnecessary...I think you all should mind your own business and let her do what she chooses with HER baby.....
pretty nervy to say what you did IMHO
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| Posted 8/30/07 8:56 AM |
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LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO
I tried it at around 13 months and it didn't work.
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| Posted 8/30/07 8:58 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: CIO
well last night, I said I was going to put Mikayla in her crib and leave the room, and let her cry....GASP, hope that does not make me a neglectful mom 
She cried for 15 minutes and then was sound asleep....first night success.... 
Alicia, I am sorry you feel that you have to defend yourself...you need to do what works for your family....
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| Posted 8/30/07 9:03 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: CIO
6 months...Honestly I thing anything under 4 months is early, I really think they need that feeding that yound, because they are NOT on solid foods.
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| Posted 8/30/07 9:27 AM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO
Posted by johnsae
Ok. Well, thanks everyone for making me feel like a bad and neglectful mom. None of you are here with me and my daughter, so you only know what I posted in a few sentences. I have not even had a chance to explain myself.
I am sorry that you all think that 9 weeks is too early to CIO. CIO is obviously very controversial. She cried for 50 minutes the first night. DH and I were trying something new. We put her down right after we fed her - she was NOT hungry and she had just had a bath and a diaper change. Since those first two or three nights (and like I said she only cried for a long time the first night), she has not cried AT ALL when we put her down. Was that one bad night worth it imo? YES!
We are new at parenting. I would never let my daughter cry b/c I thought she was hungry or sick. We tried a new approach b/c she was getting into a bad habit of waking constantly every time we put her in her crib. I am sorry that you all do not agree with our approach, but it has worked for us. I love DD very much and would never let her suffer.
I think you should talk with your doctor about the fact that you let her cry for 50 mintes, then 40 minutes. That's not healthy. And I don't think most professionals would agree with letting a 9 week old CIO, certainly not for as long as you did. You may think it worked but IMO it didn't, it was just plain cruel to make your DD cry for that long. Newborns need more than food and clean diapers. They need to be held and cuddled and made to feel safe and sorry but IMO you did just the opposite by letting her cry that long.
It's not a bad habit at 9 weeks, that's normal. It's called being an infant.
For her sake I hope she keeps sleeping so that she doesn't have to cry that long again.
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| Posted 8/30/07 9:55 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: CIO
Posted by monkeybride
Posted by johnsae
Ok. Well, thanks everyone for making me feel like a bad and neglectful mom. None of you are here with me and my daughter, so you only know what I posted in a few sentences. I have not even had a chance to explain myself.
I am sorry that you all think that 9 weeks is too early to CIO. CIO is obviously very controversial. She cried for 50 minutes the first night. DH and I were trying something new. We put her down right after we fed her - she was NOT hungry and she had just had a bath and a diaper change. Since those first two or three nights (and like I said she only cried for a long time the first night), she has not cried AT ALL when we put her down. Was that one bad night worth it imo? YES!
We are new at parenting. I would never let my daughter cry b/c I thought she was hungry or sick. We tried a new approach b/c she was getting into a bad habit of waking constantly every time we put her in her crib. I am sorry that you all do not agree with our approach, but it has worked for us. I love DD very much and would never let her suffer.
I think you should talk with your doctor about the fact that you let her cry for 50 mintes, then 40 minutes. That's not healthy. And I don't think most professionals would agree with letting a 9 week old CIO, certainly not for as long as you did. You may think it worked but IMO it didn't, it was just plain cruel to make your DD cry for that long. Newborns need more than food and clean diapers. They need to be held and cuddled and made to feel safe and sorry but IMO you did just the opposite by letting her cry that long.
It's not a bad habit at 9 weeks, that's normal. It's called being an infant.
For her sake I hope she keeps sleeping so that she doesn't have to cry that long again.
and most doctors will say your child should be vaccinated but not all moms do that....none of us listen to 100% of what our doctors say...how bout we all let each other raise our babies the way we see fit without insults or ridicule?
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| Posted 8/30/07 9:59 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: CIO
And I just wanted to add while I personally would not / could not let my baby cry for that long, I will not critisize anyone for doing that with their own child...it is NONE OF MY BUSINESS 
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| Posted 8/30/07 10:00 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: CIO
Posted by stephanief
and most doctors will say your child should be vaccinated but not all moms do that....none of us listen to 100% of what our doctors say...how bout we all let each other raise our babies the way we see fit without insults or ridicule?
I have to agree. We all need to take what Dr's say as advice, not the gospel. We have to make our own parenting decisions and do what we feel is right for our own child. Do I agree with letting a 9 week old cry that long? Not really. But I am not going to attack her parenting skills because we have a difference in opinion.
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| Posted 8/30/07 10:03 AM |
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bayla
Love my two kiddos :)
Member since 8/06 7178 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO
johnsae- i am also sorry that the criticism has been harsh, i cant offer any advice on this b/c we haven't even had to think about CIO as we are lucky that my DS is a great night sleeper right now, plus he is only 2 months old and me and my DH feel that if they are crying then yes something is not right and they need that comfort and stability from being held and cuddled from their parents. it breaks my heart to hear him cry for even 5 minutes.
with that being said, i also agree with the poster who said we dont know what goes on in a home and every child is so different and i think that you need to do whats good for YOUR child, however if crying/sleep is an issue then def talk to your pediatrician-even just for some advice, my DS doesnt nap great during the day unless he is held and i spoke to my Pediatrician and he was not concerned at all, and said thats what 2 month olds do and be thankful he sleeps through the night.
I think you are a great parent (even though i dont know you personally- just from your previous posts-you seem to really have it together), so dont think that what anyone says here, positive or negative, can change that. plus everyone here is entitled to their opinions and of course we all have our own beliefs and values so of course people don't always agree
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| Posted 8/30/07 10:10 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: CIO
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by stephanief
and most doctors will say your child should be vaccinated but not all moms do that....none of us listen to 100% of what our doctors say...how bout we all let each other raise our babies the way we see fit without insults or ridicule?
I have to agree. We all need to take what Dr's say as advice, not the gospel. We have to make our own parenting decisions and do what we feel is right for our own child. Do I agree with letting a 9 week old cry that long? Not really. But I am not going to attack her parenting skills because we have a difference in opinion.
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| Posted 8/30/07 10:13 AM |
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MrsK
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/06 891 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: CIO
Posted by mamaA
Posted by MrsK
Thanks for your responses!
DD is only going to be 2 months. I was thinking about giving it a try in a about a month but wanted to make sure 3 months was to little still. right now she will olny fall asleep in the swing or if I rock her....then she pops right up as soon as I lay her down! She will NOT take the paci so it's been difficult.
I'll give it a try if she's still difficult in another month. It takes me about 2-3 hours to put her to bed for the night now
Please read what the majority of other members have said about three months being way too young, still also. What you're going through is NORMAL and to be expected. Do not take the advice of 50 minutes at nine weeks PLEASE!
I have read the posts and do agree 50 minutes is too long to CIO..... I was going to take the approach at 3-4 months to let her cry for 5 minutes... go in and calm her down but NOT pick her up.... the leave the room for 6 minutes and go back in and calm her down.... then repeat each time increasing the time I'm out of the room by one minute. I would never go past 10-15 minutes then I would give up! I would DEF not handle 50 minutes!
Also I was def not planning on letting her cio in the middle of the night feedings. She still needs to eat! I was only reffering to CIO for the 8 pm. bed time shift.
I will def be looking more into it more and speaking to her DR. before giving it a go.
Thank you for all your responses.... just wanted some kind of an idea for right now as to whats ahead. I'm sorry if this post become contiversal... that was not my intensions.
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| Posted 8/30/07 10:22 AM |
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MrsK
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/06 891 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: CIO
Posted by stephanief
And I just wanted to add while I personally would not / could not let my baby cry for that long, I will not critisize anyone for doing that with their own child...it is NONE OF MY BUSINESS
ITA!
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| Posted 8/30/07 10:27 AM |
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