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CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by PeasandCarrots
Posted by adeline27
As soon as I learned the guns were hers I found myself blaming her as well. I read that she was getting ready to have him committed involuntary he found out and felt betrayed. I also read she left him alone for three days came home that Thursday night. Why on earth would you leave him alone in that condition with guns in the house. I do find myself blaming the father as well. I just feel like he supplied money but wasn't really there for his son who needed to be looked at. There were two parents that should have been on top of him. It's a horrible tragedy all around.
It's a good thing we are parents of the year and would never allow this to happen. It's a good thing that all of us that have kids that are "Off", or "reclusive" or "look crazy" have taken the appropriate actions by being there for them, getting the help they need because they look crazy, and keep nothing in the house. I mean a knife could kill someone, a ribbon could kill someone. It's a good thing we have padded houses. It's also good that our drinking buddies and friends of friends will tell the police we were "concerned" if this happens someday, or the person babysitting our kids now will rememebr them so vividly that they can tell the media how "off" they were. Man it's so good WE are so procative in just knowing something is wrong isn't it. Oh and for those of us divorced thank goodness our ex spouse isn't just sending money but being there 24/7 to raise them with us. We are all so lucky.
I honestly don't get why you're so agitated. The fact is, when bad people do bad things people want to understand why. The FIRST logical place people look for answers is one's home life. People want to understand what kind of person does this. How does someone become a monster like this. What drives a person to do this. Hence, people look to the parents, the home life, the school life, etc. etc. etc. Everyone is just looking for answers. WHY would someone do this to innocent children and teachers??!!
Nobody thinks they are "perfect parents" or "parents of the year" but this horrible event begs the question WHY OH WHY would ANYONE have an arsenal in their house like this woman did???!!! If she even thought for ONE SECOND her kid was "off" or had issues (which clearly she did since she yanked him from school) why would you EVER have guns in your home??? WHY???? That is being a VERY NEGLIGENT parent and she does bear some of the blame.
I don't think it's wrong of anyone to look to the parents of this child and wonder where they went wrong. Did maybe her HER choices and HER lifestyle somehow contribute to this. The woman didn't DESERVE to be shot dead but to think that perhaps there wasn't something she could've done or that there wasn't something she could've picked up on as a mother LIVING with her son is a bit ignorant. It doesn't take a "perfect parent" to detect when something might be wrong with their child. I just find it SO incredibly hard to believe that this boy did NOT show one single solitary sign of there being something wrong. C'mon, really??? Really????? I don't buy it, sorry..........I just don't.
Someone, somewhere, in some capacity failed this boy. He's ultimately to blame of course as he acted on his own accord but something HAD to have happened with this boy along the line to bring him to this. Logical thinking, well adjusted, people just don't lose their $hit out of nowhere one day and take out 26 innocent people.
People are just looking for answers, that's all. It's human nature to look to the parents first. How can you not?
ETA - And I'm sorry but if you suspected ANYTHING to be wrong with your kid, even for ONE SECOND, the LAST thing you do is keep in your home is guns. You just don't. WHY take the risk????!!! And love of god, the woman didn't just have a handgun. Automatic weapons??? Really??!! WHY??!!!
I agree with pretty much everything you said except this line:
"I just find it SO incredibly hard to believe that this boy did NOT show one single solitary sign of there being something wrong. C'mon, really??? Really????? I don't buy it, sorry..........I just don't."
and the reason why is SO SO SO MANY TIMES we hear stories about people doing the most dusgusting, awful, evil things and people who knew them, family, neighbors, friends say "no...no way...it couldn't be. Not the person I knew...he wouldn't do this! he was a loving person, a good father etc etc." I've seen it happen so many times. I don't know if it's because there were NO signs or because they were really good at hiding it or maybe people just chalk things up to "oh thats just typical teenage behavior...they go through phases" or whatever. But I do believe that sometimes people DO just snap without warning. I don't know if that was the case here...but I don't know enough to say that it was either.
I agree that IF you knew your child was off or whatever you should absolutely take precautions. But there are alot of IF's being thrown around. As my husband likes to say :
"if ifs and buts were candy and nuts...we'd all have a merry christmas" or another true gem "if my aunt had ballz, she'd be my uncle"
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Posted 12/20/12 8:19 PM  |
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
I honestly don't get why you're so agitated.
Because there are people saying she should rot in hell next to him or that she failed him or that she is just as much to blame because she had guns. I have a family member with Autism and for all the challenges he has faced I hate that now someone could think he is like this.
Like I said before I WILL 100% say I am wrong and she was a shitt mother IF and WHEN we get some actual proof. I'm not saying proof even that he was a psycho, but proof she knew he was this bad or was violent. All we have is her drinking buddy, a friend of a friend, someone who overheard a conversation at the bar, and a babysitter from 10 years ago. This thread is all about what we assume she knew.
I really don't know why it's so bad to want to wait to hear what she knew before I think a woman shot in the face while sleeping is partially to blame. I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt until then. I don't know why that is so wrong?
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| Posted 12/20/12 8:31 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by PeasandCarrots
I honestly don't get why you're so agitated.
Because there are people saying she should rot in hell next to him or that she failed him or that she is just as much to blame because she had guns. I have a family member with Autism and for all the challenges he has faced I hate that now someone could think he is like this.
Like I said before I WILL 100% say I am wrong and she was a shitt mother IF and WHEN we get some actual proof. I'm not saying proof even that he was a psycho, but proof she knew he was this bad or was violent. All we have is her drinking buddy, a friend of a friend, someone who overheard a conversation at the bar, and a babysitter from 10 years ago. This thread is all about what we assume she knew.
I really don't know why it's so bad to want to wait to hear what she knew before I think a woman shot in the face while sleeping is partially to blame. I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt until then. I don't know why that is so wrong?
Even if she knew absolutely NOTHING about what was going on - you still have to reconcile why she had unsecured guns in her home.
No matter how you spin this or what condition he did or did not have - you still have a gun owner who did not exercise a reasonable measure of responsibility.
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| Posted 12/20/12 8:36 PM |
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adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
We don't know a lot yet about this CT shooting on his family side so its hard to say much. I just have to be honest I was angered by knowing the guns were hers and it broke my heart that there was such a disconnect with the father and other brother. Its very difficult living with mental illness and they might not confirm it officially but this is definetely a case of untreated mental illness IMO.
Message edited 12/21/2012 4:31:40 AM.
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| Posted 12/20/12 8:46 PM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by Karen
Posted by PeasandCarrots
I honestly don't get why you're so agitated.
Because there are people saying she should rot in hell next to him or that she failed him or that she is just as much to blame because she had guns. I have a family member with Autism and for all the challenges he has faced I hate that now someone could think he is like this.
Like I said before I WILL 100% say I am wrong and she was a shitt mother IF and WHEN we get some actual proof. I'm not saying proof even that he was a psycho, but proof she knew he was this bad or was violent. All we have is her drinking buddy, a friend of a friend, someone who overheard a conversation at the bar, and a babysitter from 10 years ago. This thread is all about what we assume she knew.
I really don't know why it's so bad to want to wait to hear what she knew before I think a woman shot in the face while sleeping is partially to blame. I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt until then. I don't know why that is so wrong?
Even if she knew absolutely NOTHING about what was going on - you still have to reconcile why she had unsecured guns in her home.
No matter how you spin this or what condition he did or did not have - you still have a gun owner who did not exercise a reasonable measure of responsibility.
If my husband owned a gun, in our home, I would absolutely have the code for it. He believes me to be sane and after all, his purpose for even having a gun is to protect his family. If ever there were an emergency or home invasion he would want to know that I was safe. However, you never know...I could be sane all the 12 years he's known me and never show any sign of snapping and then BAM one day something clicks. Thats just how mental illness works. Many mental illnesses present in early to mid 20's. Now...it's a little different, I'm not his son...but this woman's son was an adult...not a child.
I know a friend who's family member was doing very well for herself, had a great job...all seemed to be well for her until one day she just quit her job...next thing you know she's cutting herself up and needs to be admitted to a mental hospital.
I have another distant relative who had a baby with her boyfriend...nobody noticed anything out of the ordinary. One day she comes home late and he accuses her of cheating. He shoots and kills not only her but their 18 month old baby. Nobody saw it coming, not for a long shot!
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| Posted 12/20/12 8:51 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by Karen
Posted by PeasandCarrots
I honestly don't get why you're so agitated.
Because there are people saying she should rot in hell next to him or that she failed him or that she is just as much to blame because she had guns. I have a family member with Autism and for all the challenges he has faced I hate that now someone could think he is like this.
Like I said before I WILL 100% say I am wrong and she was a shitt mother IF and WHEN we get some actual proof. I'm not saying proof even that he was a psycho, but proof she knew he was this bad or was violent. All we have is her drinking buddy, a friend of a friend, someone who overheard a conversation at the bar, and a babysitter from 10 years ago. This thread is all about what we assume she knew.
I really don't know why it's so bad to want to wait to hear what she knew before I think a woman shot in the face while sleeping is partially to blame. I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt until then. I don't know why that is so wrong?
Even if she knew absolutely NOTHING about what was going on - you still have to reconcile why she had unsecured guns in her home.
No matter how you spin this or what condition he did or did not have - you still have a gun owner who did not exercise a reasonable measure of responsibility.
ITA. And I am going to take a wild guess here, if she thought it was a GOOD idea to take him shooting at a range, I would take another bet to say she probably did not hide from him where her guns were and they were probably not that secure as well. Only time will tell.
please dont quote, btw...
btw, my father had guns in our home, being a police officer AND a hunter. And I always knew there were guns in the house but my father had some darn good hiding places from us, his children, all these years. Only recently, now, as an adult, did my father divulge to me where his gun was hidden while my parents would be away on vacation (should something happen to them he wanted me to know where to find it and what to do with it if something happened to him). And it is a place I would never have thought even existed.
So IMO, this woman either allowed her son to KNOW where the guns were or was not very good at concealing where they were, those weapons of mass destruction IMO.
Message edited 12/20/2012 10:17:50 PM.
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| Posted 12/20/12 9:58 PM |
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sometimesmommy
Always in my heart.....
Member since 11/06 6686 total posts
Name:
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by PeasandCarrots
I honestly don't get why you're so agitated.
Because there are people saying she should rot in hell next to him or that she failed him or that she is just as much to blame because she had guns. I have a family member with Autism and for all the challenges he has faced I hate that now someone could think he is like this.
Like I said before I WILL 100% say I am wrong and she was a shitt mother IF and WHEN we get some actual proof. I'm not saying proof even that he was a psycho, but proof she knew he was this bad or was violent. All we have is her drinking buddy, a friend of a friend, someone who overheard a conversation at the bar, and a babysitter from 10 years ago. This thread is all about what we assume she knew.
I really don't know why it's so bad to want to wait to hear what she knew before I think a woman shot in the face while sleeping is partially to blame. I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt until then. I don't know why that is so wrong?
No offense to you but I stand by my saying she failed as a mother.
This kid had a mental illness diagnosed officially or not. And her actions or lack thereof played a role.
ETA: Its not wrong of you to give her the benefit of the doubt thats great that you can do that--right now most dont and thats understandable also.
Message edited 12/21/2012 8:27:09 AM.
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| Posted 12/21/12 8:21 AM |
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by sometimesmommy
Posted by PeasandCarrots
I honestly don't get why you're so agitated.
Because there are people saying she should rot in hell next to him or that she failed him or that she is just as much to blame because she had guns. I have a family member with Autism and for all the challenges he has faced I hate that now someone could think he is like this.
Like I said before I WILL 100% say I am wrong and she was a shitt mother IF and WHEN we get some actual proof. I'm not saying proof even that he was a psycho, but proof she knew he was this bad or was violent. All we have is her drinking buddy, a friend of a friend, someone who overheard a conversation at the bar, and a babysitter from 10 years ago. This thread is all about what we assume she knew.
I really don't know why it's so bad to want to wait to hear what she knew before I think a woman shot in the face while sleeping is partially to blame. I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt until then. I don't know why that is so wrong?
No offense to you but I stand by my saying she failed as a mother.
This kid had a mental illness diagnosed officially or not. And her actions or lack thereof played a role.
ETA: Its not wrong of you to give her the benefit of the doubt thats great that you can do that--right now most dont and thats understandable also.
No I understand what you're saying I just want to wait until we know if the guns were unsecured or if the amo was in the house also. If there are more stories and you guys have links I would love to read them.
I guess I just want to believe she didn't fail. I want to believe a mother didn't allow this to happen by ignoring it. I desperately want to believe that her love for her son didn't blind her to how badly unstable he was because that scares me! It scares me because I would love to think I could see it in my own kids, but what if I couldn't.
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| Posted 12/21/12 11:00 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
i keep seeing everyone mention the "26" when I feel deep down it should be the "27" ... everyone is ignoring the fact that this woman was also MURDERED. Regardless of whether or not she purchased the guns, she didn't do it knowing they would end her life along with 26 other innocent people.
for some reason, that irks me. maybe its because i refuse to see her as a monster until more details come out.
may the 27 victims of this nightmare rest in peace.
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| Posted 12/21/12 12:14 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
I know this has nothing to do with anything, but y mom pointed out and I agree that the CT shooter had pretty much the SAME expression on his face as the Aurora shooter. It's uncanny.
Message edited 12/21/2012 12:59:23 PM.
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| Posted 12/21/12 12:16 PM |
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adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Even though I feel there is some blame on her part (the guns in the home) I feel she is absolutely a victim in all this. I've seen her picture along with the other victims on the news they did a collage (sp?) of all of them together and I never once felt for a second she shouldn't be included with them. I have nothing to go by confirmed and I really don't think they will give us any more info but I think she sensed him taking a turn for the worst and she was preparing for him to get help and he wanted no part of it and that's when he committed this horrible act. I'm hoping there was some kind of communication with the father from the mom I just don't think they will provide any more info to the public.
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| Posted 12/21/12 12:30 PM |
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