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Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

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esquire
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Member since 11/05

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Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by jana


I delivered there @ 6 weeks ago. My DH stayed with me for a short while after we went to my room which was about 4am and we felt it was OK because at the time because there was no one in the bed next to me. He didn't sleep there,he just made sure I was settled in before he went home to shower & sleep a bit. The next day,when I got a room mate, he did NOT stay. I definetly feel it would have been unfair to her, my DH is a strange man to her- as her DH was to me. Plus, you have an option of having your baby in the nursery at night or with you. As for someone who chose to have my child with me, I would not want another man there in the room.

Men and Drs do not go in and out constantly as someone said..I found all the nurses ( in both Monti & Lippert) to be female and they pretty much leave you alone at night- to rest and recover. I'm a pro and regular on the 3rd floor- I have been in/out constantly over the past 4 months.

Esquire, Theresa was just pointing out the ovious and with hormones going wild it is very easy to take something out of context. Maybe as a little splurge to yourself, a push present if you will..get a private room. The cost was about $400 a night extra. That way you'll be sure to have privacy and control over your environment.



Apparently I wasn't the only one who wanted their DHs with them. Scroll up. I don't understand what the big deal is about privacy. Ask the other DH to leave the room while you shower or bleed, whatever the hell you need to do.

I don't believe I was being harsh on Teresa. She wasn't really playing devil's advocate, she was stating what she wants, she should have just stated it that way instead.

Lastly, private rooms are on a first come first serve basis. So by the time I go into the hospital that night, they may be all taken. If its availabe, trust me I'll be paying for the extra room - thats not an issue. But thanks for your kind suggestion and also, this is me, not hormones. My hormones have not taken over, I speak my mind and stick for myself. So I resent that comment as well.

Posted 1/10/07 7:07 PM
 
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jana
LIF Adult

Member since 3/06

1134 total posts

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Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by esquire

Ask the other DH to leave the room while you shower or bleed, whatever the hell you need to do.




Too bad I missed the boat to be your room mate Chat Icon

I find it hard to understand how a mother or soon-to-be mother can be so insensitive..please,please let us chalk it up to out of whack hormones that way we can cut you some slack!

Posted 1/10/07 8:18 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by jana

Posted by esquire

Ask the other DH to leave the room while you shower or bleed, whatever the hell you need to do.




Too bad I missed the boat to be your room mate Chat Icon

.please,please let us chalk it up to out of whack hormones that way we can cut you some slack!


PLEASE PLEASE Dont remark thats its hormones...

Thats pretty rude to any pregnant women to blame her hormones for how she feels. Its insulting and another PG women should never use it on someone.


As far as the post. Esquire...I agree.

I have been in the hospital many a time. And I want DH there.

My husband is actually VERY upset at the thought of having to go home at all.

Posted 1/10/07 8:37 PM
 

DandN
Twins are here!

Member since 3/06

3597 total posts

Name:
Deirdre

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

DH wont be spending the night - someone has to feed the cats. . . and if he slept in a chair then he'd probably snore - and that's not good for anybody.

At our hospital (NYU) partners may visit from 8:30am until 10:30pm in a shared room. For patient privacy, 24 hour visiting is available only in private rooms.

I agree with the policy.

Posted 1/10/07 9:55 PM
 

Kate07
Feel better my little guy!

Member since 5/05

4476 total posts

Name:
Kate

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by esquire

I was reading one of the other posts on this board and suddenly realized I may be forced to stay overnight BY MYSELF. I am quite independent, but overnight in a hospital bed alone is a frightening thought. Any one know or have any ideas. I hate rules and regulations...



Honestly you will be SO exhausted between giving birth, feedings, and all the visitors you will welcome the time alone to sleep

Posted 1/10/07 10:38 PM
 

KateDevine
*

Member since 6/06

24950 total posts

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Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by esquire

Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH

Just to play devil's advocate here, unless you are paying for a private room, as your possible roommate I would feel very uncomfortable having someone's else's DH stay in the room with us.

I know he is your DH, but he's just some strange guy to me.

No offense, but unless it's a private room, JMO, I don't think it's fair to the roommate.



TERESA - no one asked for your opinion. Glad to hear you are so brave and mighty. After giving birth, and for a person who's never been in the hospital, its nice to have that extra security. Especially nice to have someone to look after the baby, because I don't trust anyone, not the doctors, not the nurses, not anyone with my newborn or myself. Trust me, I'm a medical malpractice attorney, I know all about it.

I know you claim to feel uncomfortable with another man in the room, but don't forget, you are in a hospital with many people walking in and out all day long, so one more man isn't going to make a difference.

I don't know about your DH, but mine would like to stay overnight. Perhaps yours doesn't so you are just playing the devil's advocate for that reason.




WOW. That was uncalled for. She stated her opinion and this is a public message board and she has every right to do that.

I think that you may be making a big deal out of something that may not be a big deal in the long run. You will probably be too exhausted to care where DH sleeps and it may only be for a couple of hours, so I suggest just going with the flow and seeing what happens.

Posted 1/10/07 10:44 PM
 

Porrruss
Nya nya nya

Member since 5/05

11618 total posts

Name:
Amy

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by esquire



Especially nice to have someone to look after the baby, because I don't trust anyone, not the doctors, not the nurses, not anyone with my newborn or myself. Trust me, I'm a medical malpractice attorney, I know all about it.






Since you know "so much about it" and don't trusty anyone, may I suggest either:
a. coughing up the extra $$ for a private room with a personal body guard
b. having a home birth

Your attack on Theresa was totally uncalled for- she never judged you or your opinion, but rather, quite eloquantly stated how your ROOMMATE might feel about having some strange man in her room (hmmmm.... now my security warning bells are going off....)

Posted 1/10/07 11:25 PM
 

Lillykat
going along for the ride...

Member since 5/05

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Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

See I am giving birth there and I will be very honest - I am terrified of staying alone as I hate hate hate hospitals - however -my DH never considered staying and I would be uncomfortable if my DH didn't stay and some other person's husband did - b.c as it was stated they are a strange man (and not a dr or nurse taking care of me). Will they be sharing the bathroom?

I would love to have DH stay if my roommate has hers stay - but I would be afraid if my roommate's DH didn't stay she might be too uncomfortable saying something.

For those who can't get a private room (b/c they are full) - and don't have major complications - if your roommate is uncomfortable with your DH staying will you still have him stay - or you will say tough luck?

Posted 1/11/07 6:28 AM
 

MrsBumbleb
it's me

Member since 5/05

11234 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH

Just to play devil's advocate here, unless you are paying for a private room, as your possible roommate I would feel very uncomfortable having someone's else's DH stay in the room with us.

I know he is your DH, but he's just some strange guy to me.

No offense, but unless it's a private room, JMO, I don't think it's fair to the roommate.


Agreed

Posted 1/11/07 9:52 AM
 

Eleanor
LIF Adult

Member since 2/06

2223 total posts

Name:
Ellie

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

I wasn't at Manhasset, but another NS, but I lucked out with a private room so DH stayed. I was petrified at the thought of him not staying, so I can totally understand those of you who want him there. Having your first child, there is so much unknown and figuring out how to be a parent.

With this one, I don't care either way, I will actually enjoy having time to myself, but that was definitely not the case my first time around.

Posted 1/11/07 10:36 AM
 

esquire
LIF Infant

Member since 11/05

108 total posts

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Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by Eleanor

I wasn't at Manhasset, but another NS, but I lucked out with a private room so DH stayed. I was petrified at the thought of him not staying, so I can totally understand those of you who want him there. Having your first child, there is so much unknown and figuring out how to be a parent.

With this one, I don't care either way, I will actually enjoy having time to myself, but that was definitely not the case my first time around.



Thanks Eleanor. And this is my first time.

Posted 1/11/07 12:02 PM
 

esquire
LIF Infant

Member since 11/05

108 total posts

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Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by jana

Posted by esquire

Ask the other DH to leave the room while you shower or bleed, whatever the hell you need to do.




Too bad I missed the boat to be your room mate Chat Icon

I find it hard to understand how a mother or soon-to-be mother can be so insensitive..please,please let us chalk it up to out of whack hormones that way we can cut you some slack!



I don't need you to cut me some slack. I already told you this has nothing to do with hormones, this is who I AM.

Speaking about insensitive...I believe that you and Teresa were both insensitive in not understanding why I would want my DH there while I recover in pain with a newborn on my hands.

Just curious...what would have happened if we were roommates?? Chat Icon

Posted 1/11/07 1:57 PM
 

esquire
LIF Infant

Member since 11/05

108 total posts

Name:

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by dm24angel

Posted by jana

Posted by esquire

Ask the other DH to leave the room while you shower or bleed, whatever the hell you need to do.




Too bad I missed the boat to be your room mate Chat Icon

.please,please let us chalk it up to out of whack hormones that way we can cut you some slack!


PLEASE PLEASE Dont remark thats its hormones...

Thats pretty rude to any pregnant women to blame her hormones for how she feels. Its insulting and another PG women should never use it on someone.


As far as the post. Esquire...I agree.

I have been in the hospital many a time. And I want DH there.

My husband is actually VERY upset at the thought of having to go home at all.




Thats funny, my husband was reading these posts last night and he was wondering why everyone is so concerned about "getting their sleep." There's all the time in the world to sleep, he'd rather be in the hospital with me and the baby rather than get his beauty sleep. (For all those who are going to reply, yea yea I know once the baby comes you won't sleep...trust me, I've heard)

Posted 1/11/07 1:59 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by esquire

Posted by dm24angel

Posted by jana

Posted by esquire

Ask the other DH to leave the room while you shower or bleed, whatever the hell you need to do.




Too bad I missed the boat to be your room mate Chat Icon

.please,please let us chalk it up to out of whack hormones that way we can cut you some slack!


PLEASE PLEASE Dont remark thats its hormones...

Thats pretty rude to any pregnant women to blame her hormones for how she feels. Its insulting and another PG women should never use it on someone.


As far as the post. Esquire...I agree.

I have been in the hospital many a time. And I want DH there.

My husband is actually VERY upset at the thought of having to go home at all.




Thats funny, my husband was reading these posts last night and he was wondering why everyone is so concerned about "getting their sleep." There's all the time in the world to sleep, he'd rather be in the hospital with me and the baby rather than get his beauty sleep. (For all those who are going to reply, yea yea I know once the baby comes you won't sleep...trust me, I've heard)



Bottom line, do what you want. If your hospital does not allow it, this is a silly conversation. Maybe call them to find out what their policy is.

Posted 1/11/07 2:04 PM
 

jana
LIF Adult

Member since 3/06

1134 total posts

Name:

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by esquire


Speaking about insensitive...I believe that you and Teresa were both insensitive in not understanding why I would want my DH there while I recover in pain with a newborn on my hands.

Just curious...what would have happened if we were roommates?? Chat Icon



Maybe you won't have pain, once labor is over- pretty much the bulk of the pain is over too. Its not as tramatic as you are imagining,I've done it twice.

You are misunderstanding us..both Theresa and I agree you should have your DH with you for the full 2 days you are in the hospital ( 5 days if c-section) but you should also then get a private room. Doesn't your DH plan to shower in the 2,3 or 5 days you'll be at NSUH? On the bathroom door it says "for patients only".

If we were roommates what would happen?? Nothing. Hope you would enjoy my DH's extremely loud snoring while you are "in pain and recovering".

Bottom line, NSUH allows it, you should check with your roomate first & best bet- cough up the $$ money for a private room.

Message edited 1/11/2007 4:25:45 PM.

Posted 1/11/07 4:24 PM
 

esquire
LIF Infant

Member since 11/05

108 total posts

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Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by jana

Posted by esquire


Speaking about insensitive...I believe that you and Teresa were both insensitive in not understanding why I would want my DH there while I recover in pain with a newborn on my hands.

Just curious...what would have happened if we were roommates?? Chat Icon



Maybe you won't have pain, once labor is over- pretty much the bulk of the pain is over too. Its not as tramatic as you are imagining,I've done it twice.

You are misunderstanding us..both Theresa and I agree you should have your DH with you for the full 2 days you are in the hospital ( 5 days if c-section) but you should also then get a private room. Doesn't your DH plan to shower in the 2,3 or 5 days you'll be at NSUH? On the bathroom door it says "for patients only".

If we were roommates what would happen?? Nothing. Hope you would enjoy my DH's extremely loud snoring while you are "in pain and recovering".

Bottom line, NSUH allows it, you should check with your roomate first & best bet- cough up the $$ money for a private room.




Now that I think about it, I believe the real reason you disagree with me is because deep down you really want your DH there, but perhaps yours won't stay the night...so you're making excuses for him.

Also, about the showering...thanks for spelling it out so clearly. My point is that he'll stay for the night. He's not going to build a campfire and roast marshmellows.

Here's my plan...My mom, dad, brother and sister in law will hang out during the day. My best friends Amanda, Jessica, Jordan and Janice will hang out in the late afternoon, and then my brother and his frat brothers will stay till closing time.

I'm also contacting NSUH to see if I could bring my chocolate lab - Charley. He has his own bed. What do you think, will they allow that? Chat Icon

Posted 1/11/07 10:21 PM
 

CathyB

Member since 5/05

19403 total posts

Name:

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

esquire- I honestly don't understand all the aggression here. You asked a question and it was answered - technically no he can't stay, but there are always ways around it.

Anytime you ask a question on a public forum people are going to throw in their 2 cents - it's just human nature.

And as a patient there who had a roommate that had her husband stay without asking me how I felt about it - I can tell you it's extremely uncomfortable. I was trying to breastfeed and felt very uncomfortable when they'd bring me the baby in the middle of the night and she was crying and woke them up. It's stressful enough trying to learn to feed your child - I didn't need the added stress of some stranger pi$$ing and moaning that he wasn't getting enough sleep.

Plus, while you blow it off, the bathroom is an issue. I had a 4th degree tear, the worst you can have and thought it was bad enough that I had to share the bathroom with one stranger, let alone 2. My doctor flipped out when he found that out, as I could have gotten a severe infection being exposed to additional germs. At that time the guest bathroom was on the other side of the ward doors, so it was impossible for him to use any bathroom but ours. And when I gave birth the first time they didn't have the toilet seat covers they do now.

Unfortunately, I gave birth the day before a blizzard was expected and it was a full moon, events that tend to trigger labor in many women and all the private rooms were taken, but belleve I was begging the nurses each and every time they came in to move me.

And yes, my husband offered to stay with me as well but he's 6'4" and I wasn't going to make him sleep on one of those silly chairs. He'd already done that for me when I was in labor.

Posted 1/11/07 10:36 PM
 

Samlove

Member since 5/05

4729 total posts

Name:
Shari

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

I can just tell you that after you deliever you want your rest at least thats how I felt. Dh stayed with me until about 10PM and then went home. I called him before I went to sleep and first thing in the morning . I was fine with that . I guess everyone feels differenlty

Posted 1/11/07 10:45 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

I just want to add to the BTDT moms...that its kinda annoying when you say things like , you WONT want him there, you WONT feel that way etc. , You will feel different...

Well, YOU dont know that ( this is not directed at anyone at all..I just see this on a lot of threads and Im picking here to vent about it).....

Im Not YOU..and I may not feel that way....

I dont think theres any place for that. For assuming someone will feel the same way after birth. Can we leave that out? Let us wait and see?


Posted 1/11/07 10:49 PM
 

WhatNow
Say Cheese!

Member since 1/06

8033 total posts

Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by Lillykat

For those who can't get a private room (b/c they are full) - and don't have major complications - if your roommate is uncomfortable with your DH staying will you still have him stay - or you will say tough luck?



Hi, Stranger!Chat Icon

I delivered at NS of Manhasset and from what I remember, if you were not able to get a private room, you had to get your roommate's permission to have your DH stay overnight.

To be honest, I would never give the permission nor would I ever ask my DH to stay with me.

Firstly, I am a grown woman and can handle a night in the hospital without having DH around. Second, I would never do that to another woman: have a completely strange man in the room with her while she is trying to breastfeed, walk around in her bathrobe to the bathroom, calls the nurses station to ask for a hemorroid cream or a laxative or a viginal cream or what have you...

And lastly, to be honest, it was kind of nice for it to just be me and my new baby, bondingChat Icon

Posted 1/11/07 10:50 PM
 

Ambersmom
Straight up nasty

Member since 5/05

7740 total posts

Name:
Sharon

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Posted by esquire

Posted by jana

Posted by esquire


Speaking about insensitive...I believe that you and Teresa were both insensitive in not understanding why I would want my DH there while I recover in pain with a newborn on my hands.

Just curious...what would have happened if we were roommates?? Chat Icon



Maybe you won't have pain, once labor is over- pretty much the bulk of the pain is over too. Its not as tramatic as you are imagining,I've done it twice.

You are misunderstanding us..both Theresa and I agree you should have your DH with you for the full 2 days you are in the hospital ( 5 days if c-section) but you should also then get a private room. Doesn't your DH plan to shower in the 2,3 or 5 days you'll be at NSUH? On the bathroom door it says "for patients only".

If we were roommates what would happen?? Nothing. Hope you would enjoy my DH's extremely loud snoring while you are "in pain and recovering".

Bottom line, NSUH allows it, you should check with your roomate first & best bet- cough up the $$ money for a private room.




Now that I think about it, I believe the real reason you disagree with me is because deep down you really want your DH there, but perhaps yours won't stay the night...so you're making excuses for him.

Also, about the showering...thanks for spelling it out so clearly. My point is that he'll stay for the night. He's not going to build a campfire and roast marshmellows.

Here's my plan...My mom, dad, brother and sister in law will hang out during the day. My best friends Amanda, Jessica, Jordan and Janice will hang out in the late afternoon, and then my brother and his frat brothers will stay till closing time.

I'm also contacting NSUH to see if I could bring my chocolate lab - Charley. He has his own bed. What do you think, will they allow that? Chat Icon



Does anyone else think this chick is a troll looking to cause confrontation? If she's not, then WOWChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Obnoxious much???

Posted 1/12/07 10:32 AM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?




Does anyone else think this chick is a troll looking to cause confrontation? If she's not, then WOWChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Obnoxious much???


That is exactly what I think she is Chat Icon

Posted 1/12/07 10:35 AM
 

KPtoys
I'm getting old

Member since 5/05

8688 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

Holy crap... I can't believe I just read that. The OP is someone who I would NEVER want to room with. I would even ask to be transfered if I had to be in a room with her. Thank GOODNESS I am not in the same hospital. A schedule of who will be in the room to tend to them while I am recovering from my ordeal as well. People there 24-7. Yes, I know you just had a baby but if you have a roommate you have to be considerate!!!

Yes, my DH wanted to be with his newborns but he also understood that I wanted to be alone to bond with my child and learn to breastfeed. Yes, I missed him when he left but he called me when he got home and was there 1st thing in the morning.

I also trusted the nurses and doctors, even though I am not an attorney, but heck, they took care of me during labor and delivery how hard could it be to bring me my child when I asked for him/her?? Yes, my children stayed in the room with me but I also asked for a few hours of peace, alone because from that time in the hospital the times when I have to myself are few and far between.

Unless you are going to spring for the private room, which I did both times and will do again, you should be considerate of your roommates and if they have a problem with your DH staying then I think he should leave.

Posted 1/12/07 11:28 AM
 

JennChris
life moves fast

Member since 5/05

4225 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

I think that jumping at everyone and getting so defensive was totally uncalled for.. you are on a public forum if you ask a question, you are going to get opinions, take em or leave em.

That said, I really hope that I don't have such an inconsiderate roomate. Regardless if you want him there or not, if you are sharing a room with someone you can't be so selfish... all the women recovering from childbirth have been through alot and need peace and quiet to bond with their baby and recover and having extra people in the room doesn't help that... Just having a roomate and another baby in the room is hard enough.. everytime I would fall asleep my roomates baby would wake up and vice versa, it's difficult as it is.
Perhaps you should consider a home birth.

Posted 1/12/07 11:35 AM
 

Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!

Member since 10/05

29450 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: Does anyone know if DH allowed overnight at NSUH?

The bottom line is this girl needs to cough up the money to get herself a private room. End of story. Her attitude is so uncalled for and her responses are a joke.

This is a board where we try to keep the drama OFF of. Give me a break!

Posted 1/12/07 11:38 AM
 
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