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Dolphinsbaby
My 3 little guys!
Member since 12/10 2943 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by nycgirl
I will offer you a different look.
My DS is a late summer baby (he turned 5 days before k).
He's by far the youngest in his class. 2nd youngest is June.
The TWO youngest boys (I recently found out the June boy too) are having issues with fitting in to a class that is largely a year older. Most of the class are winter babies & are either born in January or were redshirted. The other boy is having a harder time than mine.
They are both very smart (operating above the rest of the class at a 1st & 2nd grade reading & math level)... But they are immature at heart.
Will this effect go away? Yes.
Is it hard to deal with now? Yes.
Silly things like his motor coordination (while normal) is behind his classmates. He had bad handwriting, trouble cutting. He can play sports & soccer amazingly (the other boy is a sports star), but it's not fine motor.
He has emotional control of a 5 year old (like it or not, it's different than a 6 year old). He cries, he tattles (not all the time & he plays well with older kids, but it comes out). In my DD's preK, kids the same age as my son are napping. I napped in K (KWIM?).
With all this, I changed my mind from eye rolling at red shirting to understanding that if so many others do it, it can hurt your kid too be the youngest. Maybe more so boys (but not sure). My youngest is a September birthday. Going to be hard to decide...
but where does it stop them, when you have people in June/July red-shirting for reasons like they are the youngest, smallest etc its out of hand IMO. There is a cut off for a reason. Always has been. If they make it, they go. Someone has to be the youngest, someone has to be the least mature, its been that way since the dawn of schooling. The ONLY reason I believe in red-shirting are for children who have actual special needs. If not, just "your" child isn't the youngest is not a good enough reason IMO, thats what growing up is about. Learning how to do these things when you can't yet. Not....not doing at all in spite of these things.
This isn't necessarily directed AT you just the whole concept of red-shirting, its OUT OF HAND. I am not a supporter of it at all, unless there is an actual special need. It needs to stop.
I agree. I also just wanted to add about the special needs part. My kids get services: ot and speech (and one gets pt) and they are in a self-contained class. Again, we are in NYC and they have a late birthday. My point is even with all the services they are getting, they are still going onto kindergarten (their correct year). There was never any talk about having them start a year later. You go by the cutoff. As you said, someone is always going to be the youngest no matter what. I was the youngest when I went to school (late Nov birthday) and the only time it sucked is when all my friends turned 21 before me!!!
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Posted 2/26/16 7:19 AM  |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Our cutoff is January 1. My mid December child started K at 4. We struggled with the decision. He's very smart and was clearly academically ready, but he's small for his age. He doesn't have problems making friends, but boys tend to be on the immature side.
I think we made the right decision by sending him at 4. He was reading at a first grade level entering K and has strong math skills. I have no doubt he would've been bored if we held him back. He hasn't had any issues making friends and is really good at sports despite being one of the smallest and youngest on his teams. He's in second grade now and doing well academically. The only area where he has some struggles this year is focusing and completing his work on time. He has never had a sense of urgency in anything he does whether it's cleaning up, finishing a meal, getting out of the house, etc. I'm not sure holding him back would have any impact. He's also extremely focused when he's doing something he enjoys, but when it doesn't interest him, he gets easily distracted. His teacher has said that he's more than capable of doing the work and we're trying to get him to understand that he needs to finish things. There are certain subject areas where he's focused and completes his work, but the things he doesn't like take longer than it should. Again, I think it's more his personality than maturity, but I could be wrong.
I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. It's really dependent upon your child.
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| Posted 2/26/16 10:45 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
My DD didn't turn 5 until the end of September. She's one of the youngest in her grade however, I wouldn't have held off on school for her. She was MORE than ready and has been doing great every year.
I'd just wait and see with your LO, if you think he/she is ready then give it a whirl. You can always repeat the grade. I wouldn't automatically just hold off unless there was a real reason to. 
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| Posted 2/26/16 10:57 AM |
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MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
DS will be 5 in October. He is starting K this fall per the recommendation of his teachers, and my observations and instincts (I'm a teacher as well.)
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| Posted 2/26/16 5:48 PM |
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Mom0710
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/14 682 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
My oldest is now 8 she started k at 5. Same as op, born in Sept but was due in November. Yes she's one of the youngest kids, but she has done wonderfully in school. She was ready for k at 5.
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| Posted 2/26/16 10:26 PM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by nycgirl
I will offer you a different look.
My DS is a late summer baby (he turned 5 days before k).
He's by far the youngest in his class. 2nd youngest is June.
The TWO youngest boys (I recently found out the June boy too) are having issues with fitting in to a class that is largely a year older. Most of the class are winter babies & are either born in January or were redshirted. The other boy is having a harder time than mine.
They are both very smart (operating above the rest of the class at a 1st & 2nd grade reading & math level)... But they are immature at heart.
Will this effect go away? Yes.
Is it hard to deal with now? Yes.
Silly things like his motor coordination (while normal) is behind his classmates. He had bad handwriting, trouble cutting. He can play sports & soccer amazingly (the other boy is a sports star), but it's not fine motor.
He has emotional control of a 5 year old (like it or not, it's different than a 6 year old). He cries, he tattles (not all the time & he plays well with older kids, but it comes out). In my DD's preK, kids the same age as my son are napping. I napped in K (KWIM?).
With all this, I changed my mind from eye rolling at red shirting to understanding that if so many others do it, it can hurt your kid too be the youngest. Maybe more so boys (but not sure). My youngest is a September birthday. Going to be hard to decide...
but where does it stop them, when you have people in June/July red-shirting for reasons like they are the youngest, smallest etc its out of hand IMO. There is a cut off for a reason. Always has been. If they make it, they go. Someone has to be the youngest, someone has to be the least mature, its been that way since the dawn of schooling. The ONLY reason I believe in red-shirting are for children who have actual special needs. If not, just "your" child isn't the youngest is not a good enough reason IMO, thats what growing up is about. Learning how to do these things when you can't yet. Not....not doing at all in spite of these things.
This isn't necessarily directed AT you just the whole concept of red-shirting, its OUT OF HAND. I am not a supporter of it at all, unless there is an actual special need. It needs to stop.
I have a child who is a July birthday & we redshirted him. We did it for the benefit of my child, not being the youngest. Maturity wasn't even part of it, he mentally was not ready to go! K is not what it was bc of common core. I have a son who's in K & honestly the kids who are 4 going on 5 have struggled big time. The demand & cirriculm is crazy here in NY.
My July boy is extremely bright & will go to K in September as a 6 year old. As a family, we felt that if we knew our child would struggle, why send him. Struggle isn't easy to deal with at that age & honestly it gets harder as the years go on. Like someone said, once you hit 3rd grade, things really are tough. Doesn't make my child any less able to adapt bc we decided to not make him struggle the first year in school. Anyone we asked prior to holding my boys back said the same thing. You will never regret, but you WILL regret not doing it & having your child repeat a grade bc they struggled
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| Posted 2/27/16 6:32 AM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
.....
Message edited 3/20/2016 9:35:06 PM.
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| Posted 2/27/16 9:04 AM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by itsbabytime
Posted by Kissy331
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by nycgirl
I will offer you a different look.
My DS is a late summer baby (he turned 5 days before k).
He's by far the youngest in his class. 2nd youngest is June.
The TWO youngest boys (I recently found out the June boy too) are having issues with fitting in to a class that is largely a year older. Most of the class are winter babies & are either born in January or were redshirted. The other boy is having a harder time than mine.
They are both very smart (operating above the rest of the class at a 1st & 2nd grade reading & math level)... But they are immature at heart.
Will this effect go away? Yes.
Is it hard to deal with now? Yes.
Silly things like his motor coordination (while normal) is behind his classmates. He had bad handwriting, trouble cutting. He can play sports & soccer amazingly (the other boy is a sports star), but it's not fine motor.
He has emotional control of a 5 year old (like it or not, it's different than a 6 year old). He cries, he tattles (not all the time & he plays well with older kids, but it comes out). In my DD's preK, kids the same age as my son are napping. I napped in K (KWIM?).
With all this, I changed my mind from eye rolling at red shirting to understanding that if so many others do it, it can hurt your kid too be the youngest. Maybe more so boys (but not sure). My youngest is a September birthday. Going to be hard to decide...
but where does it stop them, when you have people in June/July red-shirting for reasons like they are the youngest, smallest etc its out of hand IMO. There is a cut off for a reason. Always has been. If they make it, they go. Someone has to be the youngest, someone has to be the least mature, its been that way since the dawn of schooling. The ONLY reason I believe in red-shirting are for children who have actual special needs. If not, just "your" child isn't the youngest is not a good enough reason IMO, thats what growing up is about. Learning how to do these things when you can't yet. Not....not doing at all in spite of these things.
This isn't necessarily directed AT you just the whole concept of red-shirting, its OUT OF HAND. I am not a supporter of it at all, unless there is an actual special need. It needs to stop.
I have a child who is a July birthday & we redshirted him. We did it for the benefit of my child, not being the youngest. Maturity wasn't even part of it, he mentally was not ready to go! K is not what it was bc of common core. I have a son who's in K & honestly the kids who are 4 going on 5 have struggled big time. The demand & cirriculm is crazy here in NY.
My July boy is extremely bright & will go to K in September as a 6 year old. As a family, we felt that if we knew our child would struggle, why send him. Struggle isn't easy to deal with at that age & honestly it gets harder as the years go on. Like someone said, once you hit 3rd grade, things really are tough. Doesn't make my child any less able to adapt bc we decided to not make him struggle the first year in school. Anyone we asked prior to holding my boys back said the same thing. You will never regret, but you WILL regret not doing it & having your child repeat a grade bc they struggled
Your son is extremely bright because he is OVER a year older than everyone else. He should be starting first grade not Kindergarten. I'm sorry but this is absolutely ridiculous. Your son isn't a month away from the cut-off where it is questionable. Your son is almost HALF A YEAR away from the cut off! I feel so bad for the kids in his class that are November birthdays and BELONG in the class yet they have to be in a classroom with kids that are way over a year older than him - that is NOT how it is meant to be. The point of cut offs is so that a class will not span more than a year. Kids should not have to be in a classroom with kids 17 months older than them! That is not acceptable in terms of anything and how you can't see that is ridiculous.
There needs to be some changes to this system.
ETA: My son started kindergarten almost two months younger than yours and he is now in 3rd grade with kids over a year older than him. Ridiculous on so many levels. But, he IS extremely bright and so he still is the smartest in the class and not because he belongs in 4th grade. That said, it is so unfair to him on so many levels that he has to have kids over a year older than him in his class. Developmentally, academically, emotionally, athletically, there is a reason for the cut-offs and if they don't start enforcing them crazy competitive parents that need their kids to be the best will keep making these insane decisions.
Sorry you feel this way! My son was a 32 week preemie & isn't bright bc he that's much older then the other kids in his class. Maturity he fits right in with them
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| Posted 2/27/16 10:51 AM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by itsbabytime
Posted by Kissy331
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by nycgirl
I will offer you a different look.
My DS is a late summer baby (he turned 5 days before k).
He's by far the youngest in his class. 2nd youngest is June.
The TWO youngest boys (I recently found out the June boy too) are having issues with fitting in to a class that is largely a year older. Most of the class are winter babies & are either born in January or were redshirted. The other boy is having a harder time than mine.
They are both very smart (operating above the rest of the class at a 1st & 2nd grade reading & math level)... But they are immature at heart.
Will this effect go away? Yes.
Is it hard to deal with now? Yes.
Silly things like his motor coordination (while normal) is behind his classmates. He had bad handwriting, trouble cutting. He can play sports & soccer amazingly (the other boy is a sports star), but it's not fine motor.
He has emotional control of a 5 year old (like it or not, it's different than a 6 year old). He cries, he tattles (not all the time & he plays well with older kids, but it comes out). In my DD's preK, kids the same age as my son are napping. I napped in K (KWIM?).
With all this, I changed my mind from eye rolling at red shirting to understanding that if so many others do it, it can hurt your kid too be the youngest. Maybe more so boys (but not sure). My youngest is a September birthday. Going to be hard to decide...
but where does it stop them, when you have people in June/July red-shirting for reasons like they are the youngest, smallest etc its out of hand IMO. There is a cut off for a reason. Always has been. If they make it, they go. Someone has to be the youngest, someone has to be the least mature, its been that way since the dawn of schooling. The ONLY reason I believe in red-shirting are for children who have actual special needs. If not, just "your" child isn't the youngest is not a good enough reason IMO, thats what growing up is about. Learning how to do these things when you can't yet. Not....not doing at all in spite of these things.
This isn't necessarily directed AT you just the whole concept of red-shirting, its OUT OF HAND. I am not a supporter of it at all, unless there is an actual special need. It needs to stop.
I have a child who is a July birthday & we redshirted him. We did it for the benefit of my child, not being the youngest. Maturity wasn't even part of it, he mentally was not ready to go! K is not what it was bc of common core. I have a son who's in K & honestly the kids who are 4 going on 5 have struggled big time. The demand & cirriculm is crazy here in NY.
My July boy is extremely bright & will go to K in September as a 6 year old. As a family, we felt that if we knew our child would struggle, why send him. Struggle isn't easy to deal with at that age & honestly it gets harder as the years go on. Like someone said, once you hit 3rd grade, things really are tough. Doesn't make my child any less able to adapt bc we decided to not make him struggle the first year in school. Anyone we asked prior to holding my boys back said the same thing. You will never regret, but you WILL regret not doing it & having your child repeat a grade bc they struggled
Your son is extremely bright because he is OVER a year older than everyone else. He should be starting first grade not Kindergarten. I'm sorry but this is absolutely ridiculous. Your son isn't a month away from the cut-off where it is questionable. Your son is almost HALF A YEAR away from the cut off! I feel so bad for the kids in his class that are November birthdays and BELONG in the class yet they have to be in a classroom with kids that are way over a year older than him - that is NOT how it is meant to be. The point of cut offs is so that a class will not span more than a year. Kids should not have to be in a classroom with kids 17 months older than them! That is not acceptable in terms of anything and how you can't see that is ridiculous.
There needs to be some changes to this system.
ETA: My son started kindergarten almost two months younger than yours and he is now in 3rd grade with kids over a year older than him. Ridiculous on so many levels. But, he IS extremely bright and so he still is the smartest in the class and not because he belongs in 4th grade. That said, it is so unfair to him on so many levels that he has to have kids over a year older than him in his class. Developmentally, academically, emotionally, athletically, there is a reason for the cut-offs and if they don't start enforcing them crazy competitive parents that need their kids to be the best will keep making these insane decisions.
I agree, Im sorry, I don't think this is a case of as a family we decided it was best. Kids go to school when they should. End of story. There needs to be a cut off to the cut off bc July is ridiculous for no reason than you believing he wasn't ready. My son is in 3rd grade and is the youngest in his grade, yeah 3rd grade gets harder but so does life. That cut off is there for a reason. I don't believe that there is suddenly a generation of kids who "just aren't ready to start school" after 100s of years of grade school. I HATE this and Im SO opposed to it and I think its just another example of helicoptering and coddling.
Life hard, you're not always going to be ready for something, you're not always going to be the smartest, the best, sometimes you have to work harder and you learn that IN SCHOOL. What happens in the real world when you don't have your parents "giving you an edge".
Im sorry, it needs to stop without LEGITIMATE reasons. And honestly, how many people actually know someone who had to repeat a grade bc they struggled that badly? That VERY rarely happens.
Message edited 2/27/2016 10:53:08 AM.
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| Posted 2/27/16 10:51 AM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by itsbabytime
Posted by Kissy331
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by nycgirl
I will offer you a different look.
My DS is a late summer baby (he turned 5 days before k).
He's by far the youngest in his class. 2nd youngest is June.
The TWO youngest boys (I recently found out the June boy too) are having issues with fitting in to a class that is largely a year older. Most of the class are winter babies & are either born in January or were redshirted. The other boy is having a harder time than mine.
They are both very smart (operating above the rest of the class at a 1st & 2nd grade reading & math level)... But they are immature at heart.
Will this effect go away? Yes.
Is it hard to deal with now? Yes.
Silly things like his motor coordination (while normal) is behind his classmates. He had bad handwriting, trouble cutting. He can play sports & soccer amazingly (the other boy is a sports star), but it's not fine motor.
He has emotional control of a 5 year old (like it or not, it's different than a 6 year old). He cries, he tattles (not all the time & he plays well with older kids, but it comes out). In my DD's preK, kids the same age as my son are napping. I napped in K (KWIM?).
With all this, I changed my mind from eye rolling at red shirting to understanding that if so many others do it, it can hurt your kid too be the youngest. Maybe more so boys (but not sure). My youngest is a September birthday. Going to be hard to decide...
but where does it stop them, when you have people in June/July red-shirting for reasons like they are the youngest, smallest etc its out of hand IMO. There is a cut off for a reason. Always has been. If they make it, they go. Someone has to be the youngest, someone has to be the least mature, its been that way since the dawn of schooling. The ONLY reason I believe in red-shirting are for children who have actual special needs. If not, just "your" child isn't the youngest is not a good enough reason IMO, thats what growing up is about. Learning how to do these things when you can't yet. Not....not doing at all in spite of these things.
This isn't necessarily directed AT you just the whole concept of red-shirting, its OUT OF HAND. I am not a supporter of it at all, unless there is an actual special need. It needs to stop.
I have a child who is a July birthday & we redshirted him. We did it for the benefit of my child, not being the youngest. Maturity wasn't even part of it, he mentally was not ready to go! K is not what it was bc of common core. I have a son who's in K & honestly the kids who are 4 going on 5 have struggled big time. The demand & cirriculm is crazy here in NY.
My July boy is extremely bright & will go to K in September as a 6 year old. As a family, we felt that if we knew our child would struggle, why send him. Struggle isn't easy to deal with at that age & honestly it gets harder as the years go on. Like someone said, once you hit 3rd grade, things really are tough. Doesn't make my child any less able to adapt bc we decided to not make him struggle the first year in school. Anyone we asked prior to holding my boys back said the same thing. You will never regret, but you WILL regret not doing it & having your child repeat a grade bc they struggled
Your son is extremely bright because he is OVER a year older than everyone else. He should be starting first grade not Kindergarten. I'm sorry but this is absolutely ridiculous. Your son isn't a month away from the cut-off where it is questionable. Your son is almost HALF A YEAR away from the cut off! I feel so bad for the kids in his class that are November birthdays and BELONG in the class yet they have to be in a classroom with kids that are way over a year older than him - that is NOT how it is meant to be. The point of cut offs is so that a class will not span more than a year. Kids should not have to be in a classroom with kids 17 months older than them! That is not acceptable in terms of anything and how you can't see that is ridiculous.
There needs to be some changes to this system.
ETA: My son started kindergarten almost two months younger than yours and he is now in 3rd grade with kids over a year older than him. Ridiculous on so many levels. But, he IS extremely bright and so he still is the smartest in the class and not because he belongs in 4th grade. That said, it is so unfair to him on so many levels that he has to have kids over a year older than him in his class. Developmentally, academically, emotionally, athletically, there is a reason for the cut-offs and if they don't start enforcing them crazy competitive parents that need their kids to be the best will keep making these insane decisions.
I agree, Im sorry, I don't think this is a case of as a family we decided it was best. Kids go to school when they should. End of story. There needs to be a cut off to the cut off bc July is ridiculous for no reason than you believing he wasn't ready. My son is in 3rd grade and is the youngest in his grade, yeah 3rd grade gets harder but so does life. That cut off is there for a reason. I don't believe that there is suddenly a generation of kids who "just aren't ready to start school" after 100s of years of grade school. I HATE this and Im SO opposed to it and I think its just another example of helicoptering and coddling.
Life hard, you're not always going to be ready for something, you're not always going to be the smartest, the best, sometimes you have to work harder and you learn that IN SCHOOL. What happens in the real world when you don't have your parents "giving you an edge".
Im sorry, it needs to stop without LEGITIMATE reasons. And honestly, how many people actually know someone who had to repeat a grade bc they struggled that badly? That VERY rarely happens.
Coming from an entire family of educators, I can tell you that our decision as a family was the right one forbid & based on his teachers & family recommendations was the right decision for both my kids. Sorry that you feel that my sons are "coddled" but you don't live in my life or know my kids. If cutoff wrre so strict & meant the best, tell my why every state varies? My nephew was redshirted 5 years ago by his mother who is a teacher. Best decision that was ever made by her. Her son was extremely bright & all but maturity especially in boys is a big thing.
I don't need to rectify my decision for my child but it's unfortunate that through his years in school he will encounter parents who think it's unacceptable & probably pass that onto their children. My sons will go to school confident & will strive based on our decision. No parent wants to see their child fail & it's a decision only the parent can truly make. You know your own child. Happy that your children had no problem adjusting & have strived but it's hypocritical to look down on parents who know their child needs an extra year to be ready
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| Posted 2/27/16 12:01 PM |
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teachermom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 843 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by nycgirl
I will offer you a different look.
My DS is a late summer baby (he turned 5 days before k).
He's by far the youngest in his class. 2nd youngest is June.
The TWO youngest boys (I recently found out the June boy too) are having issues with fitting in to a class that is largely a year older. Most of the class are winter babies & are either born in January or were redshirted. The other boy is having a harder time than mine.
They are both very smart (operating above the rest of the class at a 1st & 2nd grade reading & math level)... But they are immature at heart.
Will this effect go away? Yes.
Is it hard to deal with now? Yes.
Silly things like his motor coordination (while normal) is behind his classmates. He had bad handwriting, trouble cutting. He can play sports & soccer amazingly (the other boy is a sports star), but it's not fine motor.
He has emotional control of a 5 year old (like it or not, it's different than a 6 year old). He cries, he tattles (not all the time & he plays well with older kids, but it comes out). In my DD's preK, kids the same age as my son are napping. I napped in K (KWIM?).
With all this, I changed my mind from eye rolling at red shirting to understanding that if so many others do it, it can hurt your kid too be the youngest. Maybe more so boys (but not sure). My youngest is a September birthday. Going to be hard to decide...
but where does it stop them, when you have people in June/July red-shirting for reasons like they are the youngest, smallest etc its out of hand IMO. There is a cut off for a reason. Always has been. If they make it, they go. Someone has to be the youngest, someone has to be the least mature, its been that way since the dawn of schooling. The ONLY reason I believe in red-shirting are for children who have actual special needs. If not, just "your" child isn't the youngest is not a good enough reason IMO, thats what growing up is about. Learning how to do these things when you can't yet. Not....not doing at all in spite of these things.
This isn't necessarily directed AT you just the whole concept of red-shirting, its OUT OF HAND. I am not a supporter of it at all, unless there is an actual special need. It needs to stop.
The cut off varies from state to state. In NY it is December 1st, other states July or September 1. If I can can financially afford to take care of my child's physical, educational, and emotional needs without entering her into school at the age of 4 where she would probably thrive, it is my option and right. Children in Finland for example do not start school until they are closer to 7. To attack someone and say "just "your" child isn't the youngest is not a good enough reason IMO, thats what growing up is about" is wrong. What other children would we care about? Everyone has this option.
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| Posted 2/27/16 9:10 PM |
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teachermom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 843 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by itsbabytime
Posted by Kissy331
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by nycgirl
I will offer you a different look.
My DS is a late summer baby (he turned 5 days before k).
He's by far the youngest in his class. 2nd youngest is June.
The TWO youngest boys (I recently found out the June boy too) are having issues with fitting in to a class that is largely a year older. Most of the class are winter babies & are either born in January or were redshirted. The other boy is having a harder time than mine.
They are both very smart (operating above the rest of the class at a 1st & 2nd grade reading & math level)... But they are immature at heart.
Will this effect go away? Yes.
Is it hard to deal with now? Yes.
Silly things like his motor coordination (while normal) is behind his classmates. He had bad handwriting, trouble cutting. He can play sports & soccer amazingly (the other boy is a sports star), but it's not fine motor.
He has emotional control of a 5 year old (like it or not, it's different than a 6 year old). He cries, he tattles (not all the time & he plays well with older kids, but it comes out). In my DD's preK, kids the same age as my son are napping. I napped in K (KWIM?).
With all this, I changed my mind from eye rolling at red shirting to understanding that if so many others do it, it can hurt your kid too be the youngest. Maybe more so boys (but not sure). My youngest is a September birthday. Going to be hard to decide...
but where does it stop them, when you have people in June/July red-shirting for reasons like they are the youngest, smallest etc its out of hand IMO. There is a cut off for a reason. Always has been. If they make it, they go. Someone has to be the youngest, someone has to be the least mature, its been that way since the dawn of schooling. The ONLY reason I believe in red-shirting are for children who have actual special needs. If not, just "your" child isn't the youngest is not a good enough reason IMO, thats what growing up is about. Learning how to do these things when you can't yet. Not....not doing at all in spite of these things.
This isn't necessarily directed AT you just the whole concept of red-shirting, its OUT OF HAND. I am not a supporter of it at all, unless there is an actual special need. It needs to stop.
I have a child who is a July birthday & we redshirted him. We did it for the benefit of my child, not being the youngest. Maturity wasn't even part of it, he mentally was not ready to go! K is not what it was bc of common core. I have a son who's in K & honestly the kids who are 4 going on 5 have struggled big time. The demand & cirriculm is crazy here in NY.
My July boy is extremely bright & will go to K in September as a 6 year old. As a family, we felt that if we knew our child would struggle, why send him. Struggle isn't easy to deal with at that age & honestly it gets harder as the years go on. Like someone said, once you hit 3rd grade, things really are tough. Doesn't make my child any less able to adapt bc we decided to not make him struggle the first year in school. Anyone we asked prior to holding my boys back said the same thing. You will never regret, but you WILL regret not doing it & having your child repeat a grade bc they struggled
Your son is extremely bright because he is OVER a year older than everyone else. He should be starting first grade not Kindergarten. I'm sorry but this is absolutely ridiculous. Your son isn't a month away from the cut-off where it is questionable. Your son is almost HALF A YEAR away from the cut off! I feel so bad for the kids in his class that are November birthdays and BELONG in the class yet they have to be in a classroom with kids that are way over a year older than him - that is NOT how it is meant to be. The point of cut offs is so that a class will not span more than a year. Kids should not have to be in a classroom with kids 17 months older than them! That is not acceptable in terms of anything and how you can't see that is ridiculous.
There needs to be some changes to this system.
ETA: My son started kindergarten almost two months younger than yours and he is now in 3rd grade with kids over a year older than him. Ridiculous on so many levels. But, he IS extremely bright and so he still is the smartest in the class and not because he belongs in 4th grade. That said, it is so unfair to him on so many levels that he has to have kids over a year older than him in his class. Developmentally, academically, emotionally, athletically, there is a reason for the cut-offs and if they don't start enforcing them crazy competitive parents that need their kids to be the best will keep making these insane decisions.
It isn't right to point fingers at all the people kind enough to respond to my post. "Crazy competitive parents that need their kids to be the best will keep making these insane decisions?" Come on. Everyone just tries to do what they think is the best for their child.
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| Posted 2/27/16 9:15 PM |
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teachermom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 843 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Thank you to everyone who responded! I posted my original post on an especially emotionally low day and it was nice to see the support and mostly respectful discourse that resulted. Putting our little one in K a year after she is eligible was always our plan and that isn't changing. I don't believe that cutoffs would vary so much from state to state if it was really an issue. Easing our little one into a 5 day a week, full day program is important for us.
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| Posted 2/27/16 9:18 PM |
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teachermom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 843 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by Kissy331
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by nycgirl
I will offer you a different look.
My DS is a late summer baby (he turned 5 days before k).
He's by far the youngest in his class. 2nd youngest is June.
The TWO youngest boys (I recently found out the June boy too) are having issues with fitting in to a class that is largely a year older. Most of the class are winter babies & are either born in January or were redshirted. The other boy is having a harder time than mine.
They are both very smart (operating above the rest of the class at a 1st & 2nd grade reading & math level)... But they are immature at heart.
Will this effect go away? Yes.
Is it hard to deal with now? Yes.
Silly things like his motor coordination (while normal) is behind his classmates. He had bad handwriting, trouble cutting. He can play sports & soccer amazingly (the other boy is a sports star), but it's not fine motor.
He has emotional control of a 5 year old (like it or not, it's different than a 6 year old). He cries, he tattles (not all the time & he plays well with older kids, but it comes out). In my DD's preK, kids the same age as my son are napping. I napped in K (KWIM?).
With all this, I changed my mind from eye rolling at red shirting to understanding that if so many others do it, it can hurt your kid too be the youngest. Maybe more so boys (but not sure). My youngest is a September birthday. Going to be hard to decide...
but where does it stop them, when you have people in June/July red-shirting for reasons like they are the youngest, smallest etc its out of hand IMO. There is a cut off for a reason. Always has been. If they make it, they go. Someone has to be the youngest, someone has to be the least mature, its been that way since the dawn of schooling. The ONLY reason I believe in red-shirting are for children who have actual special needs. If not, just "your" child isn't the youngest is not a good enough reason IMO, thats what growing up is about. Learning how to do these things when you can't yet. Not....not doing at all in spite of these things.
This isn't necessarily directed AT you just the whole concept of red-shirting, its OUT OF HAND. I am not a supporter of it at all, unless there is an actual special need. It needs to stop.
I have a child who is a July birthday & we redshirted him. We did it for the benefit of my child, not being the youngest. Maturity wasn't even part of it, he mentally was not ready to go! K is not what it was bc of common core. I have a son who's in K & honestly the kids who are 4 going on 5 have struggled big time. The demand & cirriculm is crazy here in NY.
My July boy is extremely bright & will go to K in September as a 6 year old. As a family, we felt that if we knew our child would struggle, why send him. Struggle isn't easy to deal with at that age & honestly it gets harder as the years go on. Like someone said, once you hit 3rd grade, things really are tough. Doesn't make my child any less able to adapt bc we decided to not make him struggle the first year in school. Anyone we asked prior to holding my boys back said the same thing. You will never regret, but you WILL regret not doing it & having your child repeat a grade bc they struggled
I haven't heard anyone regret it either! Thank you for sharing!
Message edited 2/27/2016 9:23:30 PM.
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| Posted 2/27/16 9:21 PM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by teachermom
Thank you to everyone who responded! I posted my original post on an especially emotionally low day and it was nice to see the support and mostly respectful discourse that resulted. Putting our little one in K a year after she is eligible was always our plan and that isn't changing. I don't believe that cutoffs would vary so much from state to state if it was really an issue. Easing our little one into a 5 day a week, full day program is important for us.
So sorry your post had to turn into what it did! I'm very passionate about our decision as a family to hold both my kids back to when we did. I was able to let my oldest into the school world knowing he was ready to handle it & will do the same now with my youngest!
I'm glad you know & are following what is right for your DC& your family. Wishing you all the luck in the world & if you need a sounding ear, I can offer it knowing what I know from experience 
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| Posted 2/27/16 9:48 PM |
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
In nyc this doesn't seem to happen often, but unless there is a blazing reason, I don't agree with it overall..I had a parent do it when I was teaching k because she wanted her child in the gifted program but the test is based on year of birth and she didn't get in. Dd will be in k with a boy whose mom is bragging about his reading, etc.. which I don't think is fair because he should have been in k already and while she is advanced and will be 5 this April, she is where she should be and not artificially advanced.
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| Posted 2/27/16 9:58 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
In my town I would say more people hold kids born after Sept. 1 until the following year. Maybe about 60-70%. So there are some kids entering that are only 4 but definitely more of the fall birthdays are turning 6 not 5, so you would have kids over a year older than her if you lived here. My daughter is Aug 28 and has gets some services (speech and OT). I would have liked to hold her but because that would mean she and my other daughter would only be 1 year apart in school I didn't. We are more than halfway thru the year and she is doing much better than expected but she still probably should be held.
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| Posted 2/28/16 8:28 AM |
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MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
I don't want to debate, I am extremely comfortable with my decision as an educator and more importantly a parent, but I have had a number of parents tell me they regretted holding them back. By the end of elementary, their children were "bored" with their friends, the social, and academic programs. They were seeking out older kids. Obviously this isn't true for all children, but just wanted to respond to the idea that no one regrets it. Also, my sister was August. She should have been held back, in MD at the time it was September 1st. She wasn't and it was a struggle in K-3. You know what? She learned to work hard and received all academic honors in middle school. Again, you know your kid, but hard work never killed anyone, boredom is worse in my opinion.
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| Posted 2/28/16 9:45 AM |
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CurlyQ
Member since 6/07 2024 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Interesting food for thought. Reasons why more and more children are being red-shirted. Todays Kindergarten is NOT the kindergarten we were in as kids.
If Kindergarten wasn't so much like first grade...
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| Posted 2/28/16 12:34 PM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
I have a child born near xmas in nyc. To think there could potentially be children in his class that are nearly 18 months older than him is just silly and imo developmentally inappropriate. A line needs to be drawn.
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| Posted 2/28/16 7:10 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by WonderLady
I have a child born near xmas in nyc. To think there could potentially be children in his class that are nearly 18 months older than him is just silly and imo developmentally inappropriate. A line needs to be drawn.
exactly, my 4 year old should NOT be in a class with a child who is closer to SEVEN years old. No way. I have a serious problem with that.
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| Posted 2/28/16 8:53 PM |
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teachermom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 843 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by WonderLady
I have a child born near xmas in nyc. To think there could potentially be children in his class that are nearly 18 months older than him is just silly and imo developmentally inappropriate. A line needs to be drawn.
exactly, my 4 year old should NOT be in a class with a child who is closer to SEVEN years old. No way. I have a serious problem with that.
I was told by the school district that kids must be in school by 6. There really is no way to make everyone happy. I personally believe we are pushing kids in to school too early. If a child in another state that has the same birthday as my daughter, why should she have to start school and he not? I personally believe we push kids into school too early and my husband and I are both teachers.
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| Posted 2/28/16 8:59 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by teachermom
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by WonderLady
I have a child born near xmas in nyc. To think there could potentially be children in his class that are nearly 18 months older than him is just silly and imo developmentally inappropriate. A line needs to be drawn.
exactly, my 4 year old should NOT be in a class with a child who is closer to SEVEN years old. No way. I have a serious problem with that.
I was told by the school district that kids must be in school by 6. There really is no way to make everyone happy. I personally believe we are pushing kids in to school too early. If a child in another state that has the same birthday as my daughter, why should she have to start school and he not? I personally believe we push kids into school too early and my husband and I are both teachers.
That's great in other states, but that's not the case here in NY so it's a moot point. As it stands here my 4 year old, who had started school when he should have was in K with kids closer to SEVEN. That, to me, is NOT OK AT ALL and it's inappropriate. Regardless of how people "feel" about when kids are set to start school, until/if that changes, it is what it is for now, regardless. 4 year olds and almost seven year olds should NOT be in class together. Its a disservice to the older child as well, who has to spend the day which children MUCH younger than them developmentally.
For the record, my DH is a teacher.
Message edited 2/29/2016 12:32:17 AM.
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| Posted 2/28/16 9:52 PM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by teachermom
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by WonderLady
I have a child born near xmas in nyc. To think there could potentially be children in his class that are nearly 18 months older than him is just silly and imo developmentally inappropriate. A line needs to be drawn.
exactly, my 4 year old should NOT be in a class with a child who is closer to SEVEN years old. No way. I have a serious problem with that.
I was told by the school district that kids must be in school by 6. There really is no way to make everyone happy. I personally believe we are pushing kids in to school too early. If a child in another state that has the same birthday as my daughter, why should she have to start school and he not? I personally believe we push kids into school too early and my husband and I are both teachers.
thats great in other states, but thats not the case here in NY so its a moot point, At is stands here my 4 year old who had started school when he should have is in K with kids closer to seven. That to me in not OK AT ALL and its inappropriate. Regardless of how people "feel" about when kids are set to start school, until/if that changes, it is what it is for now, regardless. For the record, my DH is a teacher.
ITA!!! I understand if professionals are saying to redshirt a child who is not ready, but some People are doing it for the wrong reasons and it's not fair to the kids with late birthdays.
And for those who think it's a lifelong advantage- I did a lot of research on it and most studies show that the advantage dwindles as the children get older.
I know you think you are giving YOUR kid an advantage, but also possibly at the sake of the disadvantage of a 4 year old starting on time. Like my DD who has a late October birthday and I had to wipe her tears today bc "everyone is losing teeth and I'm not because I'm the baby in the clas". It's hard to explain to her why her friends were turning 6 when she was still 4.
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| Posted 2/28/16 10:12 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: "fall babies" entering K
I'm SO sick of hearing how "hard" Kindergarten is and how it's "so different" nowadays because the reality is.........it's really not. I taught Kindergarten and it was in NO way the same as being in 1st grade. My my DD started Kindergarten at age 4, she's one of the youngest in the grade and she adjusted just fine, did great all year, was reading with ease withing the 1st month of school, and now in 2nd grade continues to thrive despite the fact that she has peers in her class almost a full year older.
In Kindergarten she still had free play time EVERY day, recess, simple HW, no testing, and plenty of time for fun and creativity. People have REALLY overblown this whole notion of Kindergarten "not being what it use to be". Because of this some parents are using that as an excuse to hold back their kids thinking they are giving them an advantage when in reality there child would've likely done just fine starting Kindergarten at the appropriate time as outlined by their state and school district. And while you might think starting them a year later is wonderful, consider how your child will feel sitting in Kindergarten while turning SEVEN yrs old having to socialize and learn with 4-5 yr old babies!! IF I had held my fall baby back so she wouldn't be the youngest in her class I know for a FACT she would've been SO bored and SO unchallenged sitting in Kindergarten as a 6 yr old going on 7! I wouldn't have given her an upper hand, I would've made things worse for her.
Look, here's the deal..............there HAS to be a youngest and an oldest in the grade. It's just how it goes. Redshirting your kid on nothing more than when their birthday is because you *think* it will be too hard and because you *think* you're giving them an "advantage" makes NO sense to me. If you have a LEGITIMATE concern such as a delay, learning disability or something else that will inhibit their learning and success in Kindergarten that's one thing BUT to just not start them because of where there birthday falls is, IMO, is doing your child a disservice. I feel it's more beneficial to the younger child to give them the opportunity to see how they do and repeat the grade if necessary than not start them at all.
Message edited 2/28/2016 10:50:04 PM.
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| Posted 2/28/16 10:48 PM |
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