Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Sigh.Sob.Scream.Laugh. Repeat.

You are entitled to every emotion you have. No one would begrudge you for feeling this way and like everyone else I wish I could say something to make this better. But I cant . It sucks. and no one can feel that as much as you do.

You are a BRAVE ad STRONG person and having emotions about your situation does not change that.

You need your mental health to fight this fight. It will help your recovery. If the support groups dont feel right you should find an individual therapist. Someone unbiased that you can talk to, cry in front of and yell at. You said you take your feelings out on the ones closest to you, thats what they are there for and while you feel guilty about it the alternative is to keep it in and let it poison you. Find a therapist that you can take it out on also.

We love you and you can yell at us anytime OK.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

I am sorry you are going thru this.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Posted by Bxgell2

Life IS unfair, and it HAS been unfair to you, there's no getting around that. I think the most important thing is to be easier on yourself. You're going through something most people wouldn't be able to handle mentally, by any means. It is completely and TOTALLY expected that you cry everyday and unexpectedly, and that you snap at the ones you love. Hell, I snap at DH during times that are much MUCH less stressful. It's normal and expected, so try not to be so hard on yourself. It's OK not to be optimistic all the time - sometimes that's how we get through the worst of times - to allow ourselves to feel that fear and that depression and work through it in all its glory. It's the beauty of being human...

As for how to deal with it - I think talking is the best. Talk to people on here, write in a journal, talk to your friends, to your family. And to the people you're snapping at, those are the ones you really should talk to. Let it all out, alllllll out, sob, cry, scream, talk, whatever you need to do to help you through this. Maybe even try to join a support group with other people who are going through something similar? I know it always helps me to talk to someone who can understand, and let's be honest, there aren't a lot of people out there who can truly, truly understand the mix of emotions you're going through right now.

I don't know what you are going through - I'll never know unless I'm there, but I know that you have proven to be one incredibly strong and powerful woman, and I know you'll find the strength to get through this

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

OH Deb

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Deb...I think a lot of people would have given up a loooong time ago. You kept plugging along with the faith that things would be okay. Please keep that faith because you have this strength that not many others possess.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Deb, I wish I had something inspiring and witty to say....

You are so strong and brave, and you are always in my prayers

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

I wish I could say something to make it all better but just know that you will get thru this and we all think of you and pray for your family all the time

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Deb -
You are stronger than most people I know. Keep your chin up and keep fighting.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

I haven't had a chance to read through the whole thread so I may be repeating what's already been said.. I did see that you're in a support group but that, at times, actually does more harm than good. Have you considered getting a separate, personal counselor for just one on one talks? It seems that part of the issue (besides the obvious) is that you're feeling guilty about feeling badly. We can all tell you that you have more than a right to feel this way, but I think that maybe a third party actually walking you through it will be more helpful.

I think of you and Joseph so often (my mom even asks about 'that girl on the internet' ). If good wishes do anything, you know that you have all of ours.

Message edited 2/9/2007 9:26:55 AM.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

You are always in my thoughts and you are a very strong woman and you will get through this!!!

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

You are an amazing & brave person & as many have said, there aren't many people out there who would have handled this with half the strength and grace as you have. I don't know you, but you are an inspiring person who I think of often. With that said though, it's ok to be scared out of your mind, negative, snappy, whatever it is - you are certainly entitled. Try to talk to the people around you that love you, as much as possible, because it may help not only you, but them as well.

My thoughts and prayers are with you...

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Deb...I struggled with a way to say this so that it comes out right so I hope it does.

I can't exactly say that I am sorry that you are feeling the way you are because not only are you entitled - you NEED to feel this way. From what I have seen, you have been nothing but a rock these past few months...so strong, so brave, and such a fighter. Quite honestly, I was getting a little concerned that you had not yet allowed yourself to feel these inevitable feelings...a mix of emotions so strong that I can only imagine.

I think you need to feel these feelings and work through them in order to find the answer to the very difficult decision you have to make. You are on a road... this is one of the bumpy parts. But you have to pass through it to get to your destination - a long healthy life.

Also I think that you snapping at your loved ones is expected, yes. You asked how to stop... I don't think you need to try to stop... I also don't think you should just forget about it because you are also entitled either. I think that the fact that you realize you are doing it and aren't happy about it, is a good thing because it shows you have not forgotten about their feelings during all of this. It means that this situation, this crisis, has not taken over - you have not let it. And that is a great thing.

I hope this made some kind of sense to you. You are constantly in my prayers.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

I am so so sorry you're having such a difficult time. I have no advice and I honestly can't find the words to make you feel better. It's incredibly unfair what you are going through and I can only offer hugs and prayers.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

You've had to endure more than any person should, it's definitely unfair

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Stay strong Deb!! You have been amazing through all of this!! Lean on Darren and your family! Stay positive!!!

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

i have no words of wisdom or anything that will help alleviate what you are going through but wanted to say that you are SO amazingly strong and an inspiration to us all.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

please stay strong Deb! We love you!!

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Just want to send you lots of