Re: Having a bit of a hard time

You are a strong woman and I will hope and pray for your continued strength to get you through this

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Deb, I don't even know what to say in regard to your two choices.....I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is on you, your family, etc, but you have to try and remain strong.....you will get through this no matter what comes your way!! My continued thoughts and prayers go out to you!!

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Posted by Bxgell2

Life IS unfair, and it HAS been unfair to you, there's no getting around that. I think the most important thing is to be easier on yourself. You're going through something most people wouldn't be able to handle mentally, by any means. It is completely and TOTALLY expected that you cry everyday and unexpectedly, and that you snap at the ones you love. Hell, I snap at DH during times that are much MUCH less stressful. It's normal and expected, so try not to be so hard on yourself. It's OK not to be optimistic all the time - sometimes that's how we get through the worst of times - to allow ourselves to feel that fear and that depression and work through it in all its glory. It's the beauty of being human...

As for how to deal with it - I think talking is the best. Talk to people on here, write in a journal, talk to your friends, to your family. And to the people you're snapping at, those are the ones you really should talk to. Let it all out, alllllll out, sob, cry, scream, talk, whatever you need to do to help you through this. Maybe even try to join a support group with other people who are going through something similar? I know it always helps me to talk to someone who can understand, and let's be honest, there aren't a lot of people out there who can truly, truly understand the mix of emotions you're going through right now.

I don't know what you are going through - I'll never know unless I'm there, but I know that you have proven to be one incredibly strong and powerful woman, and I know you'll find the strength to get through this

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Deb -- I don't have the answer and wish I did...

When I had surgery I was miserable to everyone around me...being frustrated and in pain does that to you. I am sure they realize that it isn't you acting this way, it is the sickness.

I am praying for you all the time and think of you often. At dinner last night DH asked me how you were doing, as I am always amazed by your strength and perseverance.

SOmehow...someway....you will make the best decision for you and you will make it through all this.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Deb, you have every right to be upset and I am sure your whole family and friends understand. Please feel free to vent on the boards whenever you like.....we are here for you!

I am praying for you!

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Posted by Bxgell2

Life IS unfair, and it HAS been unfair to you, there's no getting around that. I think the most important thing is to be easier on yourself. You're going through something most people wouldn't be able to handle mentally, by any means. It is completely and TOTALLY expected that you cry everyday and unexpectedly, and that you snap at the ones you love. Hell, I snap at DH during times that are much MUCH less stressful. It's normal and expected, so try not to be so hard on yourself. It's OK not to be optimistic all the time - sometimes that's how we get through the worst of times - to allow ourselves to feel that fear and that depression and work through it in all its glory. It's the beauty of being human...

As for how to deal with it - I think talking is the best. Talk to people on here, write in a journal, talk to your friends, to your family. And to the people you're snapping at, those are the ones you really should talk to. Let it all out, alllllll out, sob, cry, scream, talk, whatever you need to do to help you through this. Maybe even try to join a support group with other people who are going through something similar? I know it always helps me to talk to someone who can understand, and let's be honest, there aren't a lot of people out there who can truly, truly understand the mix of emotions you're going through right now.

I don't know what you are going through - I'll never know unless I'm there, but I know that you have proven to be one incredibly strong and powerful woman, and I know you'll find the strength to get through this

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

I wish I had answers for you but unfortunately I don't. I truly admire you even though I've never met you and will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Follow your heart, talk it over and over with your DH and family. I know that they all understand when you snap at them. I will continue to pray that things will start to look up and know that you will make the best decision in the end. You are an amazing human being

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Deb I am sorry you are feeling this way, Just know you will alway's be in my thoughts and prayers, I admire you because you are a very Strong, and positive person, yes what you are going through sucks Bigtime,But you will come out on top and beat this, also i agree with the other posters see if they have a younger support group and see if you can talk to a therapist about how you are feeling... I love ya and Hope for a speedy recovery for you.You are alway's in my prayers.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Posted by JenniferEver

I don't really have any words for what you are going through and the choices you face and I can only imagine how robbed you feel. How much inspiration you've brought to others is cold comfort when faced with hard realities. You said you can't accept either of those options. I don't think I would be able to either. Is there a third option? Are there 2nd, 3rd, 100th opinions?

Don't feel guilty for lashing out, I'm sure everyone in your family knows you don't mean to hurt them. What you're dealing with has absolutely no instruction manual, and there is no right way to deal with it.

I've never met you, but I love you very much and I'm sure I'm not alone in praying for a miracle.





Very well said.
Deb - I wholeheartedly agree. You have been so so strong and upbeat during the past horrible months and you have every right in the world to feel like this and your loved ones know this.

You have been my friend on here for so long - and you are a wonderful, funny, beautiful, b1tchy, crazy chica and I love you with all my heart - MOO HA HA HA

I am looking forward to being your (almost) neighbor in the not so far away future and I cannot wait for the day we will finally meet.

You know us witches are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS here for ANYTHING!!

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

We love our Deb

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Deb, I have a co-worker who is in a very similar situation to yours, and she goes through the same ups and downs. She too, was diagnosed with brain tumors (ten of them) when she was pregnant with her third child. The baby was born at 28 weeks and thankfully, she's doing well. My friend did have surgery already, in addition to radiation and now chemo. She is a very positive person, like you, but she has her moments too.

Don't even think twice about snapping at people and what they might think. They KNOW that you don't mean it and that you are just dealing with this as best you can. No, it's not fair but your positive attitude is what helps you stay strong and what is going to help you through this. As my friend says, "I've got three children so I have no choice - I have to make it through this - for them."

Your family and friends are there for you to lean on, whether that means helping around the house, driving you somewhere or being there for you to yell at. Everyone wants you to get better, whatever it takes. You do what you have to do, whatever it might be.

Just a side note - not sure if you know about this website, but my friend has a page on carepages . It allows you to set up a webpage for yourself where you can post updates and photos, and there is a message board so people can leave you notes and words of encouragement to brighten your day. My friend from work says when she's feeling like it's too much to handle, she reads the messages and it makes her feel better. Just an idea. Hope you feel better soon - I'm thinking about you and praying for you

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

I dont even know what to say nor will I pretend to know what to say. I just wanted you to know that my thougths are with you and your family.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

I cannot fathom what you are going thru but I do know what cancer can do to a person first hand. My mother lost her life way to soon because of cancer and it was incredibly unfair. The only thing that kept her going was her family and her faith. Keep them close by because they utimately are the most important thing at this point. As far as a decision goes I probably would go for the surgery. From what you wrote it seems as the best shot at living life. If a handicap comes from it you will deal with it because you are strong. My mother was too faces with an option of either doing nothing and letting the cancer take its natural course or going thru strong radiation which would utmately damage her for life, She chose to go for treatment. You are too young not to continue to fight. But it is your decision to make with the guidance of your loved ones.

I would speak to the dr about the anxiety though- My mom was on really strong antidepressants which helped her alot.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said . . . .

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Deb, you are such an inspiration to so many!!! Always remember that!

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Just never ending and

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

I don't know what I could possibly add, honestly. Know that you have us all to turn to when you need to vent ,cry...don't feel you need to be strong on our account.

As for your decision...yeah, neither one is a real gem...what gives the best outcome???

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Deb you are still stronger than i couldve ever been. i admire you and i know that you can get thru this!!

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

A smile to lift your spirits!

A hug because one can never have too many!

No one can possibly understand the stresses you must go through right now......and WHATEVER the decision you make, make it together with your family. You will do what feels best for you and them.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

You are allowed to snap. The people taking care of you love you and look past it. Stay strong. We are all here for you. Posting your thoughts is therapeutic. We may not know what you are going through, but we can be here to support you through it.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Deb

I know you are scared, hurt,mad and uncertin but the courage you have shown has touched oh so many!!!

I wish i could help you in your decision but you are the only one who knows your body and what you are capable of handling. I know you will make the best decision for you and your family.

I am here for you and i will help you in anyway i can possible. my phone is always on and my heart and ears are always open


I wish i take this nasty cancer away from you and make you 100% better, but sence i can not do that i can do the next best thing and that is be here for you always and forever

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

You have every right to feel the way you do. I can't even imagine the pain and anger you are feeling right now. But I hope that every time you feel like you want to give up, you take Joseph in your arms and know that miracles do happen. And I believe another one will happen for you, especially with so many friends, family, and complete strangers like myself rooting for you, and praying that you recover 110%.

Re: Having a bit of a hard time

Many 's and 's to deb!!