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How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

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NewLeaf2012
LIF Adult

Member since 1/11

2741 total posts

Name:
....

How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

My husband passed away very suddenly Sunday morning. My 4 year old saw him, but thankfully thinks he was sleeping.. We told him he went to the hospital because he was very sick.... I don't want him to think he died at home.. But how do I explain death to him? He knows something is wrong...

Posted 4/21/14 12:23 PM
 
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BargainMama
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

15657 total posts

Name:

How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I don't have any answers, but my goodness, I'm so sorry.

Posted 4/21/14 12:24 PM
 

ourhappysurprise2012
LIF Adult

Member since 9/12

901 total posts

Name:
Lori

How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

Oh my God, I am so so sorry for your loss. You may want to look into the Center For H.O.P.E for bereavement services, they are part of NSLIJ and have childrens programs 516-216-5194

Posted 4/21/14 12:25 PM
 

Eunyboo
<3

Member since 7/12

4376 total posts

Name:
E

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I have no idea but I am so sorry for your loss! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/21/14 12:26 PM
 

nycgirl
Angels!

Member since 3/09

7721 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

So sorry!!!
Def see a children counselor.

Posted 4/21/14 12:29 PM
 

mommyof3girls
LIF Adult

Member since 5/12

2773 total posts

Name:
Sue

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

No clue. But I'm so sorry!!!

Posted 4/21/14 12:29 PM
 

ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides

Member since 11/12

14481 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I'm so sorry for your loss. There are really no words.

My uncle passed away when my cousin was only about 5 years old. I know my aunt took him to a grief counselor for children. I would def seek out professional help.

Posted 4/21/14 12:31 PM
 

maymama
my little loves

Member since 8/08

18453 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I am heartbroken for you but I hope this is helpful...

my son will be 4 in 3 weeks. We just lost my FIL (his grandpa, his best friend) 5 weeks ago.

We told him that Grandpa went to heaven and that we won't be able to see him anymore. He won't be at Grandma's house anymore. We CAN talk about him, we can look at pictures and movies. We can cry or laugh or be sad or happy... whatever we feel like at that time.

We framed a few photos to put in his room.

I agonized over explaining this since we knew it was coming (he passed from Cancer after a year long battle). Everyone told us that he would be fine, it would be MUCH harder on us and they were 100% right.

Children this age do not have the ability to think about the future and the things they will "miss out on" and that is the hardest part for us.

My ONE word of advice - if possible, try not to tell him he was sick and "died" ... try not to use the words dead or died. I didn't want my son to make a correlation between sick and death and worry that should anyone else get sick, they would pass too.


My hearts breaks into a million pieces for you Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 4/21/2014 12:32:59 PM.

Posted 4/21/14 12:31 PM
 

LIRascal
drama. daily.

Member since 3/11

7287 total posts

Name:
Michelle

How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

My God, all I can offer are hugs and prayers for you and your family. Can't imagine Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/21/14 12:34 PM
 

MrsDamonSalv7319
Somewhere in Westeros

Member since 10/10

4495 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't think I have an answer, but my father died unexpectedly when I was 6 & my brother was 2.5. I understood, but it took longer for my brother to understand. My mom was always honest and there to talk about it, cry, etc. We all slept in her bed for awhile after. It was hard but we got through it. We also had lots of family around for support. Sending Chat Icon and Chat Icon Chat Icon to you.

Posted 4/21/14 12:35 PM
 

ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides

Member since 11/12

14481 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I just saw a documentary on HBO about Camp Erin. It's a camp for children who lost a parent. It's part of the Moyer foundation. It could be a great resource to you.

Link

Posted 4/21/14 12:37 PM
 

StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!

Member since 6/10

21539 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I honestly don't know, just wanted to say how sorry I am. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/21/14 12:39 PM
 

hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true

Member since 2/10

2695 total posts

Name:
Me

How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I have no advice I just wanted to say I am so very sorry for your loss. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/21/14 12:39 PM
 

cheryl28
LIF Adult

Member since 2/10

4657 total posts

Name:

How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

so sorry for your loss. How terrible. be as honest as a 4 yr old would understand. Don't use words like sick ( i know it was sudden), or anything that is normal to him. You don't want him thinking a cold and dying are related kwim?

Posted 4/21/14 12:40 PM
 

ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides

Member since 11/12

14481 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

Books Related to Children's Grief

Help for The Hard Times: Getting Through Loss by Earl Hipp

How It Feels When a Parent Dies by Jill Krementz

Talking About Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child by Earl A. Grollman

My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss

The Grieving Child: A Parent’s Guide by Helen Fitzgerald
Beyond the Innocence of Childhood Volumes 1, 2, and 3 by D.W. Adams and E.J. Deveau (editors)

Helping Children Cope with the Loss of a Loved One: A Guide for Grown-ups by William C. Kroen, Ph.D.

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst

When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death by Laurie Krasney Brown and Marc Brown

Hope For Bereaved by Therese S. Schoeneck

When Someone Very Special Dies, When Something Terrible Happens, and Drawing Out Feelings Facilitator Guide by Marge Heegaard

You Are Not Alone by Lynne Hughes
Bereaved Children and Teens by Earl A. Grollman

Posted 4/21/14 12:40 PM
 

NoStressMom
My Heart and Soul

Member since 5/05

11122 total posts

Name:
D

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I'm so sorry for your loss

Posted 4/21/14 12:43 PM
 

FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7790 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I don't know how to answer your quesiton but I wanted to say I'm very sorry for your loss. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/21/14 12:44 PM
 

jams92

Member since 1/12

6105 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

i am so sorry for your loss Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/21/14 12:53 PM
 

JRsMaMa
LIF Adult

Member since 11/07

2044 total posts

Name:
Jake's Mama

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I am so very sorry.Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/21/14 12:56 PM
 

jendar
happy bday mom! 7yrs married

Member since 12/13

1323 total posts

Name:
thank you mom. i love you

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

Oh dear God. Im so sorry!!!

Posted 4/21/14 1:04 PM
 

babyface10
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/11

804 total posts

Name:

How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I am so sorry for your loss.

Posted 4/21/14 1:05 PM
 

ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..

Member since 5/12

7482 total posts

Name:
Mama

How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

So sorry for your loss.

Posted 4/21/14 1:07 PM
 

Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!

Member since 8/05

14470 total posts

Name:
Veronica

How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I am so sorry for your loss.

I told AJ the truth when my father died. I think I put a thread on here actually. Its hard. So very hard. I am so sorry you are dealing with this!

Posted 4/21/14 1:09 PM
 

FranM
And so it goes....

Member since 9/05

2217 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I am so sorry for your loss.
Is DC in pre school through your school district. I would contact them and ask to speak to the psychologist for suggestions/referrals. I would call them even if he is not participating in the district yet.

Posted 4/21/14 1:14 PM
 

Cheeks24
Living a dream

Member since 1/08

8589 total posts

Name:
Cheeks

How do you explain death to a 4 y/o

I am so sorry for your loss :(

Posted 4/21/14 1:21 PM
 
Pages: [1] 2 3 4 >>
 

Potentially Related Topics:

Topic Posted By Started Replies Forum
How do you explain the death of a father to a 4 y/o? NewLeaf2012 4/21/14 5 Bereavement Support Group
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How to explain death of a pet? SweetCin 10/7/10 6 Parenting
How do you explain death to a toddler? trnity44 7/9/10 15 Parenting
Remember how I asked how to explain death to a 2 year old pugmama 9/10/08 11 Parenting
How do you explain "death" to a child? Ambersmom 12/21/07 8 Parenting
 
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