How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I have been going to a variety of local mom groups, etc. and I always talk to people-- but, it never really gets to the next level. It seems like people at all these things are making friends, but no one wants to be my friend!

When I feel comfortable, I am totally outgoing, etc. But, inherently, I am a shy person and I have a hard time putting myself out there. I am fine one on one, but when there are a few other girls who seem like they are friends or cliquey, I just kinda feel like I need to wait for an invitation.

How do other people do it? I am starting to get a complex here!

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I think it's like that in every mom group

I've made good mom friends here on LIF but all the other mom groups i've been to are very cliquey

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by CJMommy

I think it's like that in every mom group

I've made good mom friends here on LIF but all the other mom groups i've been to are very cliquey

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I don't even have the courage to go to any mom groups!! How pathetic is that!!

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I totally know what you mean about the cliques. Especially through mom groups and websites.
Most of my mommy friends are people I knew before having kids... like a friend of a friend or an aquaintance before and then became friendlier after having kids.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I was lucky to have a handful of friends that were pregnant at the same time that live near me, so we always hang out and our kids are great friends now as well.

I've met some AMAZING and GREAT friends here on LIF that I can't say enough about

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

i've never gone to a mom group. all of my mommy friends, except for one, i met on LIF! we were pregnant together and it just blossomed from there.

where do you live? i know of lots of lovely women who would like to get to know you!

and i promise we don't bite

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

ok, so at least I am not the only one.

But like one week I will talk to some girls, then the following week-- I'll have an empty seat next to me, and I'll see them walk in, then no one comes to sit next to me again! I feel like such a loser! if I sit near the same people, it's coincidence.

I chat with some of the same people, but it's just so hard. I feel like I am in HS again when I moved in the middle of the school year.

I mean, I think I am pretty cool -- what's wrong with me?!

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I feel the same way, it happens over time, maybe the people you are meeting wouldn't be ones you would normally connect with. I would give it some time and try to go to as many things as possible.

I feel it is hard to meet Mommy friends being back at work. I find it hard to maintain close relationships with SAHM since my schedule is so diff. from theirs...

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I made one very good mommy friend at the library programs I take DD too. (ETA - I found the moms at the library classes to be a lot less clinqey than other classes and groups)

Ive also become very friendly on LIF with 2 or 3 moms.

Message edited 5/12/2009 8:39:22 PM.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by randella

ok, so at least I am not the only one.

But like one week I will talk to some girls, then the following week-- I'll have an empty seat next to me, and I'll see them walk in, then no one comes to sit next to me again! I feel like such a loser! if I sit near the same people, it's coincidence.

I chat with some of the same people, but it's just so hard. I feel like I am in HS again when I moved in the middle of the school year.

I mean, I think I am pretty cool -- what's wrong with me?!

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by headoverheels

i've never gone to a mom group. all of my mommy friends, except for one, i met on LIF! we were pregnant together and it just blossomed from there.

where do you live? i know of lots of lovely women who would like to get to know you!

and i promise we don't bite

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I feel the same way I work full time so I don't have time to join mom groups. There are women on my block that have DC's the same age as chelsea but they have all lived here for 10 years and I've only been here two plus they are SAHM. I feel it is very hard to break into groups that are already formed.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

since moving to the burbs 4 years ago and 2 kids later, i only have made 1 mom friend in town. i picked her up on the street. i walked around the neighborhood a lot with DD#1, she was always outside with her kids, (one of who is DD#1's age) and we struck up conversations. we then "dated" a bit, and now we are friends!

i've met some people through her, but was hoping to branch out once DD started pre-school. no such luck with pre-school yet, but hoping that will change next year...

it's HARD!

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I never met any moms at gymboree that I became friends with...I felt the same way as you, nobody "asked me out" for playdates outside of gymboree or anything.

I however, have a group of girls here on this webiste and we hang out prett often...we are all in NJ too So, come hang out with us, an you will have 5 instant mom friends

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I always felt similarly until DS1 was in preschool, then I just clicked with a lot of the moms. But until then, we'd have a singular playdate here and there and I'd feel like the loser taking my kids to McDonalds alone and sitting next to a big playgroup of moms who somehow found each other. I wish I had some advice but it's not easy!

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Most...If not ALL..my Mommy friends I met on LIF.

Ive become friendly with some of my daughters friends too...

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by randella

Posted by headoverheels

i've never gone to a mom group. all of my mommy friends, except for one, i met on LIF! we were pregnant together and it just blossomed from there.

where do you live? i know of lots of lovely women who would like to get to know you!

and i promise we don't bite

if I lived on LI, it would be easier of course! I live in Hoboken. Most of my friends are in Brooklyn or Manhattan-- so, I don't have any friends up the block here either. I barely know anyone in my town!

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Overall I find that it takes time and I have seen some of the friends shift as DS moves through stages.

I was fortunate that a great group of ladies here were pregnant the same time and as our children grow...so does our friendship. I have made friends through daycare particularly with the children that my son seems to move from class to class with.

My MIL says all the time that you also start to make new friends when the kids are in school - early on.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by pickles16


Randi a really good friend of mine lives in the Hudson tea building in Hoboken and she has a 9 month old I can ask her where she goes that has friendlier ppl...
I totally think you should move back to LI so we can hang out...

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Is there an LIF type thing in New Jersey ?? If not, its time to start a NJF

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Have you heard of The Moms Club ? its an international organization with many chapters all over, and I think Jersey is a very popular state for this club.

here's some more info. all the ladies Ive met through the moms club have been wonderful and down to earth.

*********
The Moms Club (momsclub.org)
click on "find a chapter"
in MANY locations worldwide! and you can find a chapter near you. There are a bunch on Long Island for sure. Fee is usually around $25-$30 per yr.

I was part of 2 different chapters of the moms club, and its like a family oriented sorority, lol. its great !

MOMS CLUB WEBSITE


** there are also other types of mommy places to look into:

The Mothers Center (numerous locations ). motherscenter.org

MOTHERS CENTER WEBSITE


*** and to find local informal groups:
- if you go to yahoo / click on Groups. do a search for your area, type in "hoboken moms" or " hoboken playgroups" and the name of your county or town, or anything/topic that would pull up what youre interested in.


it's not you, you will meet the moms that you click with and you know just by how comfortable you feel around them.

Message edited 5/12/2009 8:53:12 PM.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by randella

Posted by pickles16


Randi a really good friend of mine lives in the Hudson tea building in Hoboken and she has a 9 month old I can ask her where she goes that has friendlier ppl...
I totally think you should move back to LI so we can hang out...

In due time!!

Yeah, I live downtown and the Tea building is uptown-- it's like the city here-- while everything is close, you still need someone in your neighborhood. I have met some people, and the ONE friend I have here (who I knew previously) just gave birth on Thursday... so, we'll have some safety in #'s once she is up and about.

There has been one or two girls that I have clicked with. I mean, I even started my own mommy group!! I am really trying here-- but I guess you don't necessarily "go out on a date" so soon after meeting someone anyway! It's not like we are getting drunk and going back to each other's houses for an "extended play date".

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.