Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Ok, DH just told me that my "b!tchy face" intimidates people!! He prefaced that with a "no offense".

Oh, that's why I can't make new friends! Thanks for the support.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I am lucky that most of my friends have kids around the same age as DS, unfortunately, most of them live out of state (or the country ) so I don't see them frequently, but we talk all the time, so that is a great support system.

As for locally, I have made my mommy friends from here. I am blessed to have made some excellent, life long friends

As for the MOMs organization, my good friend was a part of it in VA, but unfortunately, you have to be a SAHM to be part of it, as I work, I couldn't be

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by randella

Ok, DH just told me that my "b!tchy face" intimidates people!! He prefaced that with a "no offense".

Oh, that's why I can't make new friends! Thanks for the support.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by dani731

Posted by mrsgafforio

I don't even have the courage to go to any mom groups!! How pathetic is that!!

same here.... I am even afraid to go to LIF GTGs because I am too shy & think no one would talk to me

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by randella

Ok, DH just told me that my "b!tchy face" intimidates people!! He prefaced that with a "no offense".

Oh, that's why I can't make new friends! Thanks for the support.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by randella

Ok, DH just told me that my "b!tchy face" intimidates people!! He prefaced that with a "no offense".

Oh, that's why I can't make new friends! Thanks for the support.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I have friends from before DS but since I had DS, ALL my "newer" friends are now from LIF. I have to say that I met them really from either the PG board or the parenting board. I have met a lot of mommies at GTGs over the last 2 years. I connected with some more than others. I have been very good friends and do regular GTGs with several of them here.

I have different experiences. Some I will only see on "advertised" GTGs and I love seeing them then. We catch up. Then I have my "regular" GTGs buddies. Then I have my LIW friends. And my LIW friends who are now on the parenting board.

I feel so bless to have met all this people. I did not grow up on LI. I moved to NY only 7 years ago. It's hard to make friends.

I see it as "dating". You go through meeting a lot of people to find affinities with just a few. But LIF does give me the chance to keep meeting people. I am only limiting myself to meet new people by me not going to GTGs.

When there are "open GTGs", take the chance to participate to as many as you can.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I am in the same boat as you, I always feel weird...like I don't belong and it sure doesn't help that I have a lot of tattoos...most women look at me like I have 3 heads unfortunately. If they just got to know me though, I am a really laid back, good person. It's so hard though and I want DS to have mutual friends with kids who's moms I hang out with too :(

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

You seem really nice!! I have been there 3 times and yes I think it is stressful too!!
You really have to just throw yourself out there!!
I try to go to every gtg I can and at the least introduce myself to as many moms as I can!
Also the meetup groups are great! The one we go to has a 2 month calender that is filled with gtgs -everyday of the week! I was nervous to join, but once I asked around and people said it was great-I jumped in!!
I have gone to so many different paid classes and it is just soooo hard when your the new person! I have found that swim lessons for my ds was a great way to meet moms because my child was with the instructor in the pool and the moms are sitting behind the glass-so they are free to talk and not chasing after their child!!!
I am also so grateful for the LIF moms that have invited me to gtg with them! I have made some really special friends on here!!! I am hoping that you will get a ton of fms from the NJ moms and if not you will have to move to LI!!

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

i am a sahm that can totally relate! my sisters and sil dont have children. my closest friends either have had children years ago and their kids are around the ages of my stepkids(preteen.teen) or have kids that are about to enter preschool, or i have friends that are single/married without kids and work f/t, so they cant relate to my day to day stories about my 9 mo dd. most of my friends are in queens or mived away and not near me, i;ve been in nassa for a few years but orginally from queens, so its hard. i had a slow recovery after having ds from an unplanned c-section and other health issues that arose from that, so i didnt get out with dd to meet anyone earlier. i did enjoy the PG board very much last year, but unfortunately missed alot of the GTG as the timing didnt work. i hope to make it to some of the GTG here if any work out for me datewise. i thought about some of those meetup mom groups, but heard that they are cliquey and thats not my thing so i have been afraid to join and go to any. i am hoping to get dd into some class of sorts when she is a lil older if we can swing it, and hoping i can meet some moms there. it gets lonely i tell ya!

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

It stinks you live kinda far b/c I'd like to actually meet you once. Plus, Sash and Jake would totally hit it off!

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

My advice is to not forget that people are cliquey because they already know each other, its not that they are actually cliquey, but we all gravitate towards people we already know.

My advice is if you get talking to someone, ask them for their email address, or their phone number. Don't wait for them to ask you, because it might never happen. And then you actually have to call them, or send a text, or just make contact. If you wait for someone else to make the first move, you can be waiting a long time.

Good luck!

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

DS isn't 2 months old yet so I haven't gone to any mommy groups yet. You are making me nervous!

Maybe you could ask another mommy out? Like on a stroller/brunch date? Or perhaps you could do some small talk with a mommy in the group and ask advice about kid friendly places and ask if she'd go with you.

I think if you have one mommy friend, you get introduced to all their mommy friends. I started off with one pregnant friend and then I met all her friends. All my friends are in Manhattan though. I have actually convinced DH to move back into the city because I have been unhappy in the burbs. He just got a job in Manhattan after he finishes residency.

Message edited 5/13/2009 5:57:00 AM.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Message edited 5/13/2009 6:01:44 AM.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

So funny, DH and I were just talking about this last weekend.

We have Ryleigh enrolled in Music Together, and there's another couple in our class with a daughter who is just a few months older than Ryleigh. We always talk to them, and they talk to us, but it's hard to take it to the next level and "ask them out" We got back in the car, and DH said to me, "So, how should we ask them out?"

It's definitely hard, especially when you work and everyone else around you seems to SAH. I've been to a few meetup groups though, and met a lot of great people.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I joined Music Together when DS was 3 months old and have become friendly with some of the moms in that class, although we haven't gotten together outside of class yet. I also just started a moms meetup.com group for my area and so we had our first meetup yesterday, it was great

I am finding that you really need to get over your fears and take the initiative. Most moms want to make friends and do things with their DC. And I agree with a pp about the so called "cliques". It's just easier to talk to people you already know, but that doesn't mean you can't get to know them too.

Message edited 5/13/2009 6:25:27 AM.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by dani731

Posted by randella

Ok, DH just told me that my "b!tchy face" intimidates people!! He prefaced that with a "no offense".

Oh, that's why I can't make new friends! Thanks for the support.

MY DH would say the same thing, He has told me in the past that I always have a mean look on my face.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by nickipa

Posted by randella

Ok, DH just told me that my "b!tchy face" intimidates people!! He prefaced that with a "no offense".

Oh, that's why I can't make new friends! Thanks for the support.

My DH once told me before we started dating he thought I was a b!tch---mostly I was just shy!!! Anyways, back to your original question-----I am in NJ (so if you ever want to GTG I am in Maplewood)---I knew NO ONE---I joined our local Mothers&More group and actually got into a playgroup with a few other moms. While we don't hang out without our kids, I consider them friends and I have a great time hearing what their kids are up to. I also joined a meetup group that does various activities. I'll admit, its very hard for me to 'take it to the next level' as I am shy, but I find that having kids in common made it easier. You will meet people! I am hoping to make it to the NJ GTG this week, so for any of you that read this, I am not a b!tch, I am just shy

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I had the same experience when I went to a few mommy groups when I was on maternity leave with Alex. I never went back

Most of my friends are people I was already friends with, who had kids around the same time as me, or people I've met through Alex's school. I met quite a few people through one of my friends who knew other women with babies the same age. She hosted a playdate, and it just took off from there and we've been having playdates/birthday parties every month or so ever since.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by nickipa
Anyways, back to your original question-----I am in NJ (so if you ever want to GTG I am in Maplewood)---I knew NO ONE---I joined our local Mothers&More group and actually got into a playgroup with a few other moms. While we don't hang out without our kids, I consider them friends and I have a great time hearing what their kids are up to. I also joined a meetup group that does various activities. I'll admit, its very hard for me to 'take it to the next level' as I am shy, but I find that having kids in common made it easier. You will meet people! I am hoping to make it to the NJ GTG this week, so for any of you that read this, I am not a b!tch, I am just shy

Nicki - I live pratically next door to you, in South Orange. Would you mind FMing me information about the group you attend?

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

I stay away from mom groups. We take long walks thruout out neighborhood and meet all kinds of people! We met some teenagers a little while ago that I got into convo with who babysit. We met our friends from down the road by walking by and just syaing hello each time until it turned into longer talks. We met an older couple with the cutest dog. When we walk past the house, the kids get so excited if they see that they are home!

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

you need to be outgoing. I'm the type of person that will strike up a conversation with a total stranger, just to pass the time. (of course if I feel the person is willing to talk to a stranger.)

when DS was a baby, we joined the local pool but to be completely honest with you... i had no desire to make friends. I'd rather sit and read a book while DS played in the kiddie pool. The other moms were so catty. It was a fun experience people watching wise. Same goes for when DS was in 2 year old pre school. I was a young mom & wasn't married so I really had nothing in common with the other moms. BUT... I found that if you just put yourself out there and make the first attempt to get to know people, it always works. This can be said for ANYTHING... The first few classes in grad school I felt totally out of place but once I started chatting up people and getting to know them, I made friends very easily.

It may take time... but you need to put forth an effort and not wait for someone to approach you. KWIM? Eventually you will click with someone...

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Posted by randella

Ok, DH just told me that my "b!tchy face" intimidates people!! He prefaced that with a "no offense".

Oh, that's why I can't make new friends! Thanks for the support.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Re: How do you make mom friends? Kinda pathetic question.

Too bad you are too far! I know that making Mommy friends is like dating and can be so hard. I know I talk about my Stroller Strides group all the time but that is b/c I love them! I made friends there and they are wonderful...we get together all the time! The group (Cedar Creek) is so welcoming and down to earth that it was easy...so much better than at other Mommy & Me classes/groups I've been to. I think they have a location by you b/c we had a guest instructor from there once. It is so hard to make Mommy friends but I think it is very important to have them! Keep putting yourself out there and you find someone you click with!