Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

Thanks again everyone! As much as all of these posts are making me cry, they make me feel better in the same way.

The b itch of it is....He survived both the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and he was able to get out in time on 9/11. Whatever "magical" powers he has to escape things, I hope works this time too.

He is going to Sloan Kettering next week to be evaluated.

Thanks again for everything!

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

Posted by Tine73

Thanks again everyone! As much as all of these posts are making me cry, they make me feel better in the same way.

The b itch of it is....He survived both the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and he was able to get out in time on 9/11. Whatever "magical" powers he has to escape things, I hope works this time too.

He is going to Sloan Kettering next week to be evaluated.

Thanks again for everything!

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

My mother passed from lung cancer, it had spread to the bone 6 years ago.


I dont think you really can prepare yourself for it. I tried to prepare myself for it, imagining life without her. Though preparing myself would help me cope with the real thing. I realized that it didnt.


Try to stay positive. Spend time with him. Make memories.




you get good news at Sloan Kettering.

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

I am so sorry for your pain. I don't think you are ever prepared. No matter how long you know in advance. I lost my dad to cancer 4.5 years ago. He had just turned 60. He suffered and it was for the best but it is a hard thing. My advice is to spend as much time in his good and bad times as possible. Take lots of pictures esp while he is healthy enough esp with your kids. My oldest son was only 1 when he passed so my dad got to meet one of my children so I was lucky. My oldest son talks about him a lot and asks for pictures of them together and I am so glad I have a few for him. I just like to keep him in my heart and know he is always watching and smiling at my family.

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

Just wanted to post some hugs for you

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

please don't think of the worst, I know it's hard.

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

Posted by Tine73

Thanks again everyone! As much as all of these posts are making me cry, they make me feel better in the same way.

The b itch of it is....He survived both the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and he was able to get out in time on 9/11. Whatever "magical" powers he has to escape things, I hope works this time too.

He is going to Sloan Kettering next week to be evaluated.

Thanks again for everything!

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

The 3rd anniversary of my father being diagnosed is just days away. He began chemotherapy on my parents' 33rd wedding anniversary (as my mom sat with him in the hospital that morning, with the rest of us sitting around trying to make light of the situation we joked with him that we always knew that being with mom would drive him to therapy....we just never thought it would be Chemo-therapy).

Sadly...my dad passed within 3 months of being diagnosed with lung cancer.
Just say anything and everything you want to say. Laugh, cry, joke, sing, dance DO IT ALL...
And if he has the strength....have him write notes that you can read down the road. Its something I wish I had done for DD1.

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

I am so sorry. Many prayers for your father.

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

I dont know if you can ever really prepare, but try to make him as comfortable as possible and surrounded by love.

Im sorry

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

I don't think there is any way in which you can prepare for the death of a parent. Just cherish every and enjoy the times you have together. I am sorry you are going through this and I for you and your family.

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

Awe Christine I am SO SO sorry you are going through this.

Mt heart is breaking for you and your family

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

i can't help you because i don't know what to say or help you prepare. i am sorry to hear about your father. your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

There is no preparing. Just try to enjoy as much time a spossible with him. I lost my mom 1.5 years ago and the pain will never go away. But her death has changed my life by making me realize what is important to me and my priorities. I now live with no regrets.
I hope your father gets to live a long happy life.

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

Many prayers for you and your family.

My mother passed away 7 years ago. She was 57 years old.. i was 27 and still single. You can't prepare but something takes over you and you just kind of get thru it b/c you don't have any other choice. You find strength you thought you NEVER had!! Find strength in your family and friends. My mom never met my husband or my son..but I know she is the one who send them to me.

Keep hope and faith that things may turn around!! miracles happen every day!!

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

I don't think you can either.

I lost both of my parents in the same year, both to cancer and they were in their 50s. My DS has no grandparents at all, and I often wish my parents were around to know my DH and my DS.

I try to remember that tomorrow is promised to no one and we should try to live in the present as much as we can.

I am sorry you have to go through this - it really is difficult.

ETA- Believe me when I say he is in good hands at MSKCC.

Message edited 10/15/2010 9:20:35 AM.

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

I'm sorry about your father.

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

Wow, your Dad has beaten some extreme odds! I am going to hope and pray that he beats the odds again and is able to pull through this as well

We were told for many years after my Dad's first heart attack that he was in bad health. We always were sort of expecting something to happen in the back of our minds. But time went on, our guards were down and at 49 - he dropped while visiting his mom and passed away from another heart attack. We always "knew" it was coming, but the shock that it actually happened threw everyone for a loop. I was 19 when he passed and he has now been out of my life longer than he has been in it.

My siblings and I wish he could have been here to play with his grandchildren, we know he would have spoiled them rotten. And it makes me sad my girls, nieces and nephews never got to know him. But I found some amazing inner peace knowing he was there to greet my son after his passing. It really took the pain of my wanting to end my life at times out of my heart knowing he was with his grandpa if he couldn't be with his mommy and daddy.

Even knowing it was going to happen someday did not prepare us any better. Thinking back now I realize we did more "family" outings and my Dad probably took some even bigger risks to have fun with us.

I know nothing is going to take that fear or lump out of your chest now. I can only hope there is some good news on the horizon for your family and you get many more years of memories with your Dad

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

I am so, so sorry Christine.

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

I'm soo sorry you're oging through this.

Many prayers for your father

My parents are in their 70's and I can't imagine what life would be like without either one of them.

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

IDK and Im sorry you are going through this!

that you will have more time with your father!

Re: How Do You Prepare for a Death of a Parent?

I am so sorry that you are going through this. All these sad posts are heartbreaking. I don't think you can really prepare for a death of a parent. I would try to spend as much quality time as you can with him and as others have said, take a lot of pictures. I would try to videotape him and the kids together so they can "see" him when they are older.

Please don't give up hope. Medicine has come a long way. DH is a spine surgeon and is doing a rotation at Sloan Kettering. Please let me know if you would like him to recommend a doctor to help your father.