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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
I just want to add - no amount of work could ever get some of the scary images out of my head that you guys described in the other thread. But I really hope that the roach infested houses are the exception and not the norm - and most of the houses just need a good deal of work, but not a major extermination!
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Posted 8/10/06 4:49 PM  |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Posted by lululu
are you looking for something move-in ready or something that you can improve on thru rennovations?
I ask this because one thing that i might suggest (although I am sure many would disagree) is to find homes with similar layouts in the same area that have already been rennovated, even if they are out of your price range, and go take a look at them. Sometimes it's hard to picture a house with a nice kitchen and improved layout, new bathrooms etc. If you can actually see what it WILL look like, it might make it less depressing and it might help you see the potential that a house can have. I can even send you pictures of our home rennovations so far - and we havent done much but it looks like a totally different house. It's even amazing what a coat of paint and new carpet will do for a room. Hope that helps - I know you are frustrated and at your wits end. Unfortunately sometimes buying a home on LI requires a little more creativity and imagination than all the brand new homes that people can afford elsewhere.....
I can see past carpet and paint. I have an issue with major work that 99% of the houses we have seen need. We would have to do so much to anything we can afford just to make it livable.
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| Posted 8/10/06 4:50 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
I'm sorry that totally s*cks.....
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| Posted 8/10/06 4:52 PM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
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God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
You have the answers. Nothing else to say.
Doing the right thing is often the hardest thing. Staying or leaving, either way it isn't easy.
Look at your "life must list" and compare. And go from there.
Don't let today get you down because there's always tomorrow! 
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| Posted 8/10/06 4:58 PM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
If you and DH do not want to move off of LI...you MUST stop looking at the prices of homes out of state or even upstate. There's just no way that we're ever going to buy a big beautiful mansion for those prices on LI...
It's sucks to think this is it...if I want to stay on LI I have to just come to the conclusion that this is what it is and is it that important to me to stay...than if so, I have to realize that a fixer upper starts at $300k+.
If you can't get that out of your mind and LI really isn't worth it...than maybe consider moving out of state (close not as far away as SOME of our dear friends!), but check out the real estate, job market, etc. You already know what your family said...if that's ever a consideration.
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| Posted 8/10/06 5:02 PM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
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God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Posted by lorich
If you and DH do not want to move off of LI...you MUST stop looking at the prices of homes out of state or even upstate. There's just no way that we're ever going to buy a big beautiful mansion for those prices on LI...
It's sucks to think this is it...if I want to stay on LI I have to just come to the conclusion that this is what it is and is it that important to me to stay...than if so, I have to realize that a fixer upper starts at $300k+.
If you can't get that out of your mind and LI really isn't worth it...than maybe consider moving out of state (close not as far away as SOME of our dear friends!), but check out the real estate, job market, etc. You already know what your family said...if that's ever a consideration.
I have to agree with the lovely Lori 1000% percent, percent, percent! 
Why torture yourself?
Decide what you want (and that's the hard part!  ) and go after it full on. Stop looking elsewhere or start...it's pretty simple actually, you just have to decide.
And about SOME dear friends moving far. Well, they have THREE EMPTY BEDROOMS AND THREE EXTRA BATHROOMS waiting for their dear friends to come visit! 
Is a weekend trip going to kill anyone? Airfare is so cheap between NY and ATL!!
OK, done venting! 
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| Posted 8/10/06 5:06 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
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Lori
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Also keep in mind that the asking price is negotiable!
Houses are sitting on the market for a long time now and eventually people get desperate and are going to be willing to take less money.
Just because they're asking for $400,000 doesn't mean they're going to get it  .
It is tough to find a good one though,
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| Posted 8/10/06 5:11 PM |
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Jessee
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1260 total posts
Name:
Jessee
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Hang in there!!
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| Posted 8/10/06 5:44 PM |
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MommaG
Yay Spring!
Member since 5/05 5133 total posts
Name:
Gloria
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Maybe you just need to take a break and also be patient. I looked - avidly looked - for over a year before I finally found my house. In the meantime, you will be saving up more $$$ for your down payment, which will help you afford more.
If you want to take a break, do it. There will always be houses out there and in today's market, they'll be there for a while. Or, change some of your priorities - town, proximity to work or family, etc. Often if you compromise on one aspect, it will open up a whole new group of homes to you.
Try not to get discouraged - your house is out there.
ETA: Not sure where you're looking, but I have a friend selling in Levittown for $388k (I believe that's what he said - I know it's under $400k). He said almost everything is new - he put a lot of work into the house. Let me know if you're interested.
Message edited 8/10/2006 7:35:06 PM.
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| Posted 8/10/06 7:33 PM |
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Ronkonkomonga
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 544 total posts
Name:
We Three Kings...
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
have you tried looking further east. We learned that you can't have it all when you are looking for a first home.
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| Posted 8/10/06 9:20 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Posted by Ronkonkomonga
have you tried looking further east. We learned that you can't have it all when you are looking for a first home.
we've already compromised on location. ideally we would love to be in eastern Nassau. we're looking well into Suffolk even though my DH works in Nassau and his commute stinks. we really can't go any farther east.
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| Posted 8/11/06 9:22 AM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Posted by lorich
If you and DH do not want to move off of LI...you MUST stop looking at the prices of homes out of state or even upstate. There's just no way that we're ever going to buy a big beautiful mansion for those prices on LI...
It's sucks to think this is it...if I want to stay on LI I have to just come to the conclusion that this is what it is and is it that important to me to stay...than if so, I have to realize that a fixer upper starts at $300k+.
If you can't get that out of your mind and LI really isn't worth it...than maybe consider moving out of state (close not as far away as SOME of our dear friends!), but check out the real estate, job market, etc. You already know what your family said...if that's ever a consideration.
I have to agree with Lori too. Why torture yourself if you want to live on LI? It is what it is...stretch out your scope, make some sacrifices - every generation does it.
I was just talking to my lawn guy this morning. He told me that when he bought his first house, his wife was pregnant and his bi-weekly salary was about $100 less than his mortgage payments. Somehow, 3 kids later, they managed to do it on ONE salary.
Despite what it feels like now, it can be done.
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| Posted 8/11/06 9:24 AM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Posted by Colleen9304
Posted by lorich
If you and DH do not want to move off of LI...you MUST stop looking at the prices of homes out of state or even upstate. There's just no way that we're ever going to buy a big beautiful mansion for those prices on LI...
It's sucks to think this is it...if I want to stay on LI I have to just come to the conclusion that this is what it is and is it that important to me to stay...than if so, I have to realize that a fixer upper starts at $300k+.
If you can't get that out of your mind and LI really isn't worth it...than maybe consider moving out of state (close not as far away as SOME of our dear friends!), but check out the real estate, job market, etc. You already know what your family said...if that's ever a consideration.
I have to agree with Lori too. Why torture yourself if you want to live on LI? It is what it is...stretch out your scope, make some sacrifices - every generation does it.
I was just talking to my lawn guy this morning. He told me that when he bought his first house, his wife was pregnant and his bi-weekly salary was about $100 less than his mortgage payments. Somehow, 3 kids later, they managed to do it on ONE salary.
Despite what it feels like now, it can be done.
I know this has been discussed before - but most people are struggling on TWO salaries, not one. Times are very different. This is a different struggle. My parents or my grandparents didnt have to struggle as much as me, and I am the only one that is college educated. They told me it was hard for them, but not this hard.
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| Posted 8/11/06 9:41 AM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
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God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Posted by Colleen9304
stretch out your scope, make some sacrifices - every generation does it.
Despite what it feels like now, it can be done.
I just have to add...this doesn't help. I know it didn't help me when I was there. "Make some sacrifices" is kinda condescending because I'm sure she is...sh!t being there when she could already own a home elsewhere is a HUGE sacrifice.
Things do have a way of working out somehow...but not everyone can do it. These kind of comments really annoy me. 
Nothing against you Colleen!
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| Posted 8/11/06 9:54 AM |
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anon
where's winter?
Member since 11/05 2209 total posts
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
come to new jersey
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| Posted 8/11/06 10:01 AM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Posted by sasha
Posted by Colleen9304
stretch out your scope, make some sacrifices - every generation does it.
Despite what it feels like now, it can be done.
I just have to add...this doesn't help. I know it didn't help me when I was there. "Make some sacrifices" is kinda condescending because I'm sure she is...sh!t being there when she could already own a home elsewhere is a HUGE sacrifice.
Things do have a way of working out somehow...but not everyone can do it. These kind of comments really annoy me.
Nothing against you Colleen!
It wasn't my intention to be condescending - it was an attached thought to "stretch your scope". Sacrifice the commute fr the house, is what I meant.
As for annoying comments...saying that you could "already own a home elsewhere" is not helping matters when people WANT to live here.
If you don't want to live here, make the decision to move, don't continue complaining about the situation - do something about it.
Times sure have changed but the struggle remains the same. People who say they couldn't afford their house now, are the same people who had to deal with the previous generation thining they were nuts for plunking down $170k on a house that was originally $14k. It's all relative.
I don't expect everyone -or anyone- to agree...it's just my opinion.
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| Posted 8/11/06 10:07 AM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Posted by Colleen9304
It wasn't my intention to be condescending - it was an attached thought to "stretch your scope". Sacrifice the commute fr the house, is what I meant.
As for annoying comments...saying that you could "already own a home elsewhere" is not helping matters when people WANT to live here.
If you don't want to live here, make the decision to move, don't continue complaining about the situation - do something about it.
Times sure have changed but the struggle remains the same. People who say they couldn't afford their house now, are the same people who had to deal with the previous generation thining they were nuts for plunking down $170k on a house that was originally $14k. It's all relative.
I don't expect everyone -or anyone- to agree...it's just my opinion.
See, the thing is that, as per the OP's response, she has stretched her scope...quite a bit actually.
This is the same argument that goes on forever on this board...the reason why I don't always contribute...because it's endless. There are those who will always say "suck it up, it can be done" and those who say "why bother"...and then there are those who are simply confused. It's not the easiest thing in the world to decide to rent because even though you make a decent living and are making tons of "sacrifices" you still can't afford a home.
And as for saying people "want to live here" that's not the case for everyone. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to go after something so "crazy". If it were up to my DH we would still be in NY...sometimes though, gambles pay off. Even if we lived in an apt. here we would be happier.
I agree with Meaghan on her point above, it's not the same struggle. Taxes are higher, houses are outrageously higher and cost of living has gone up a LOT. So while it may have been "super hard" for past generations, it's nearly impossible in today's world. Unless you save a ton of money or have family help out. Not everyone has either...or equity from some other property.
And I love when people post their TRUE opinions, who cares if someone agrees with you or not? At least you stand for something! 
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| Posted 8/11/06 10:21 AM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
well said Sasha.
I put myself in the confused category.
we flip flop every day whether we should move or not.
it was definitely not this hard 30 years ago.
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| Posted 8/11/06 10:24 AM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
I'm going to requote MYSELF and my lovely friend...
I truly believe it all comes down to this...it is what it is... If LI is where you need/want/must be than yes...you must stop looking at what homes go for in other states. You're only torturing yourselves.
If it's completely unbearable and renting is not an option and big homes for pennies is...than yes, you need to come to the realization that you need to move.
I see the same posts everyday, like Sasha. It's to the point where yeah...we know it is what it is...
Sasha made the move and is extremely happy to be in a beautiful home. She knew that in order for her to have that..she needed to move. (That's a huge sacrifice for her!)
DH & I not willing to make the move, so yes, we continue to pay off our debt, rent and save. I know that if I find a home for $400k that needs absolutely no work it is going to be a STEAL. It stinks, but I've accepted that.
Message edited 8/11/2006 10:34:58 AM.
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| Posted 8/11/06 10:32 AM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Posted by lorich
I'm going to requote MYSELF and my lovely friend...
I truly believe it all comes down to this...it is what it is... If LI is where you need/want/must be than yes...you must stop looking at what homes go for in other states. You're only torturing yourselves.
If it's completely unbearable and renting is not an option and big homes for pennies is...than yes, you need to come to the realization that you need to move.
I see the same posts everyday, like Sasha. It's to the point where yeah...we know it is what it is...
Sasha made the move and is extremely happy to be in a beautiful home. She knew that in order for her to have that..she needed to move.
DH & I not willing to make the move, so yes, we continue to pay off our debt, rent and save. I know that if I find a home for $400k that needs absolutely no work it is going to be a STEAL, but I've accepted that.
 Again, could not agree more.
I think people are fooling themselves if they think this struggle is more than past generations. For example, I think people who suffered through the Depression would disagree vehemently.
It is all relative.
Message edited 8/11/2006 10:38:26 AM.
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| Posted 8/11/06 10:37 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Sasha - you mentioned that your sister lives nearby though....
I think that it is much different making the decision to move out of state when you don't have the opportunity to be near family. A lot of people dont have family outside of long island and family may be the only thing keeping them here. And personally (and I know that many people would have a different opinion) the ONLY way I would move out of state to a place where i have no friends and no family is if i thought it was in the best interest of my future children.
But you have to consider all the factors because children growing up away from aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc to me is not ideal either..... I think i would rather my kids grow up in a small house with less fancy cars than live in a big huge house and have luxury vacations but not have the chance to really know their grandparents....
No matter what way you look at it - there are sacrafices all around unless you are fortunate enough to have a lot of money. But I think its misleading to post these big houses and say - look what you can get elsewhere, life is so much better here - because most people would still have to sacrafice A LOT to get that big house in NC or elsewhere.
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| Posted 8/11/06 10:37 AM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Posted by lululu
Sasha - you mentioned that your sister lives nearby though....
Actually, I believe she was the only immediate family member living in NY.
Posted by lululu
No matter what way you look at it - there are sacrafices all around unless you are fortunate enough to have a lot of money. But I think its misleading to post these big houses and say - look what you can get elsewhere, life is so much better here - because most people would still have to sacrafice A LOT to get that big house in NC or elsewhere.
Really good points...
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| Posted 8/11/06 10:40 AM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Posted by Colleen9304
Posted by lorich
I'm going to requote MYSELF and my lovely friend...
I truly believe it all comes down to this...it is what it is... If LI is where you need/want/must be than yes...you must stop looking at what homes go for in other states. You're only torturing yourselves.
If it's completely unbearable and renting is not an option and big homes for pennies is...than yes, you need to come to the realization that you need to move.
I see the same posts everyday, like Sasha. It's to the point where yeah...we know it is what it is...
Sasha made the move and is extremely happy to be in a beautiful home. She knew that in order for her to have that..she needed to move.
DH & I not willing to make the move, so yes, we continue to pay off our debt, rent and save. I know that if I find a home for $400k that needs absolutely no work it is going to be a STEAL, but I've accepted that.
Again, could not agree more.
I think people are fooling themselves if they think this struggle is more than past generations. For example, I think people who suffered through the Depression would disagree vehemently.
It is all relative.
I am definitely not fooling myself when I think this is more of a struggle than past generations. I asked my grandmother, who was a child during the great depression, and she said she didnt sacrifice as much to buy her first house (which was brand new, and my grandfather who was out of the navy was a busdriver).
so if you can give me some examples of in the past on long island that people didnt have to struggle this much please do.
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| Posted 8/11/06 10:41 AM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
I'm not looking to change your mind Meaghan. You are choosing to see it your way and that's fine. I don't see the point in going on about the struggle - I'm more of a sh!t or get off the pot kind of person.
If it's a struggle - either accept the struggle and do what needs to be done or reject it and do what needs to be done. Either way, something needs to be done.
Maybe I just have positive people around me - people who were sick to their stomach's when they bought their first home, who had no idea how they were going to come up with that extra $1k for their DP. But in the end, they did it...they sold that house and it afforded them the opportunity to get sick all over again when they had to figure out where they were going to come up with their $105/month mortgage payment AND put food on the table for them, their wife and child. Or the people who couldn't come up with the extra $5k to buy 1 acre in Lloyd Harbor back in 1953 b/c they just plunked their life into their first house that went for $14k. It kills my friend that his parent's couldn't come up with the $5k at the time b/c of what it's worth now but they had their own struggles and now that $14k house could go for wel over $485k.
Imo, it's relativity - choose to accept it or not.
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| Posted 8/11/06 10:49 AM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: I AM SO DONE!!!!!!!!!! I cannot look at one more disgusting house on LI
Posted by lululu
Sasha - you mentioned that your sister lives nearby though....
I think that it is much different making the decision to move out of state when you don't have the opportunity to be near family. A lot of people dont have family outside of long island and family may be the only thing keeping them here. And personally (and I know that many people would have a different opinion) the ONLY way I would move out of state to a place where i have no friends and no family is if i thought it was in the best interest of my future children.
But you have to consider all the factors because children growing up away from aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc to me is not ideal either..... I think i would rather my kids grow up in a small house with less fancy cars than live in a big huge house and have luxury vacations but not have the chance to really know their grandparents....
No matter what way you look at it - there are sacrafices all around unless you are fortunate enough to have a lot of money. But I think its misleading to post these big houses and say - look what you can get elsewhere, life is so much better here - because most people would still have to sacrafice A LOT to get that big house in NC or elsewhere.
OMG I could not agree with you more! I am beyond blessed because my entire family lives in GA. Yes, everyone. Parents, siblings, nieces, nephew, heck I even have some cousins and aunts/uncles. They visit and buy!  So I'm VERY fortunate.
But my husband's ENTIRE family lives in NY. And he's a lot closer to his family than I was to mine (I only got close to my siblings again after moving here...lots of drifts that closed once here). My family doesn't celebrate holidays, birthdays, etc. so we did everything with his family. For the past 10 years it was all about his family...and he's a HUGE momma's boy (if I tell you that he sobbed for hours when he said "goodbye" to his mom before we left BK, would you believe me?  )
The sacrifices we made were huge, so yes, I make it sound really easy but it's not. And thanks for pointing that out - I don't want anyone to be mislead. My husband and I are blessed, point blank. No other way to explain getting jobs after only looking for a week (making $$ than in NY), buying a house with everything on our "must" list and minutes from the highway and being able to live comfortably...we struggled with the decision. We made a gazillion lists. Do we miss his family? A LOT! But they came down to visit this summer and are coming back next year to stay...as in buy. They saw what we have and can't believe that they have been renting for 30+ years. With 6 kids it was impossible for them to buy...and with today's market it's never gonna happen. So they're moving. Another blessing for us.
If my entire family was there and his too and we knew no one here and had no reason to be here, we would probably be renting too...and looking in the end of Suffolk, prob Middle Island! 
So I go back to the same thing...decide to stay and bear it or decide to leave and go after it. But that's not so easy for everyone! Even for me, with so much "going on elsewhere" I cried all the time...I was so frustrated. Deciding was the hardest thing! 
To all those in "limbo"...and all those waiting for their old neighbors to "pass" ...  House dust!
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| Posted 8/11/06 10:54 AM |
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