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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...
Posted by karacg
I honestly want to say
"Oh get over it!"
but I know I will get flamed for it.... but honestly, -- it's valentine's day, a day for lovers, not for grandchildren/grandparents...
I agree, no flames. Especially if your folks are going through a tough time. Hell, I missed a close friend's wedding 3 months after my heart surgery...Her wedding was the LAST thing on my mind at the time. Sad to day it, but it was.
Plus, I throw out cards all the time. I remember the Seinfeld eppisode about this. I hold onto it for 48hrs and then it is in the garbage. 
UNLESS it was a handmade card my DH or DD that has some sentimental value. Frankly, when MIL or my mom sent Grace her first cards, I threw them away. All they wrote was "love, grandma" nothing really sentimental. But that is just how I am. Sorry you are upset.  Maybe you should send your folks a card from both kids...this will take their mind off their financial stress and make them smile. Plus, I bet they would save it for your daughter. 
ETA: JUST read all of page 2 of this thread...whoa nelly! I don't mean to be mean here, just trying to put it into perspective...in the grand scheme of things, I don't think it is a big deal. Then again I have been though a lot with a heart surgery and all so I have a unique perspective. I am sure someone here who has been though their DH having cancer, or cancer themselves or a spouse dying, or anything else like that may have a different view point. This is why I cannot see all these drama posts sometimes and do not go on LIF that much anymore. When I see people getting their panties in a twist about hurt feelings over trivial things...I guess I need more therapy myself not to get pissy about it, I need to come to a place of enlightenment. I mean ask Beth, DebG, Leghla, the girls on the IVF board, or anyone else who has been through some serious shite lately about this and their perspective may be different then most on here. Just my two cents...sorry if I offended anyone, not my intention. 
Message edited 2/15/2009 2:57:15 PM.
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Posted 2/15/09 2:48 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...
Honestly, If your upset over a V Day card and upset over someone to tell you to get over it, your gonna be upset a lot in life. Dont let this stuff get to you.
I think Valentines day is not a day for children. Its fun to share with them, but not the real reason and I think your being insensitive to your Mom and Dad's problems by reacting this way.
You have a right to be hurt, but you could have explained to her why you were and maybe she would have had an explanation and made you feel better?? Communication is key.
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| Posted 2/15/09 3:26 PM |
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babybugsmum
THEIR UNBREAKABLE BOND
Member since 8/07 1962 total posts
Name:
gemma
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Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...
ok so i have to end this right now as i am in compplete shock at how this thread has taken on a complete life of it s own one that i never saw coming when i was typing it .....
i am a mother and woman just like the rest of you and i really didnt expect my words to be quoted and used against me the way that some have ........
things are only trivial and silly to those who are not living them and experiencing them at that time which is why i choose to reach out to you all we are all here to support each other at least that is what i thought as we are all dealing with motherhood and alll that comes along with that every day ....
as far as cancer even entering this tread is beyond me i have walked that very ugly lonely and dispicable path ........and feel it is something that i would never wish on anyone it is also something that i choose to keep very private ...it is still very raw ....and something i would never use to justify someone elses post as insucnificant to them ...
and anyone that is dealing deat or knows of anyone wal;king that path my heart and soul goes out to them
i certainly didnt expect the tongue lashing that some felt free to offer ......
if i do not agree with someone or feel that i dont have anything positive to add to someone reaching out them i dont respond ... hey thats just me and i respect each to their own ...
but i will definely not be so quick to reach out when i feel i need some words of wisdom from my fellow mothers women .....
sad but true ....i guess you live and learn .. i will not be so open next time ...
i do thank you all that have sent such funny and supportive FMs you all know who you are .and truely understand the situation that i am living in so again thankyou
Message edited 2/15/2009 7:18:46 PM.
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| Posted 2/15/09 7:07 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...
Gemma~ I totally understand and get that your feelings were hurt that your mom forgot- and those feelings are totally VALID because they are YOUR feelings. We can't help how we feel- we just do. I'm sorry your mom hurt you- and I think you realize it wasn't intentional.
That said, I think that the title of your post (implies even YOU think you're being unreasonable) as well as the question "am i being totally stupid about this ???" left you open to people giving their opinions on the matter. Perhaps instead you should have just asked for hugs, or just said you needed support.
Honestly, I don't see where anyone was being really mean until you used the eyeroll dude (who everyone KNOWS is the best way to fuel drama ). Everyone was giving their honest opinions.
Now- my opinion on your OP: I totally get why you're hurt- but I truly don't think your mom meant anything. It sounds like she has a lot on her plate and didn't realize how important it was to you. From this point forward- be very clear to your mom that you want her to celebrate all DDs firsts as well. This way there'll be no misunderstandings.
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| Posted 2/15/09 7:18 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...
Posted by Porrruss
Gemma~ I totally understand and get that your feelings were hurt that your mom forgot- and those feelings are totally VALID because they are YOUR feelings. We can't help how we feel- we just do. I'm sorry your mom hurt you- and I think you realize it wasn't intentional.
That said, I think that the title of your post (implies even YOU think you're being unreasonable) as well as the question "am i being totally stupid about this ???" left you open to people giving their opinions on the matter. Perhaps instead you should have just asked for hugs, or just said you needed support.
Honestly, I don't see where anyone was being really mean until you used the eyeroll dude (who everyone KNOWS is the best way to fuel drama ). Everyone was giving their honest opinions.
Now- my opinion on your OP: I totally get why you're hurt- but I truly don't think your mom meant anything. It sounds like she has a lot on her plate and didn't realize how important it was to you. From this point forward- be very clear to your mom that you want her to celebrate all DDs firsts as well. This way there'll be no misunderstandings.
Amy you said it perfectly. The title really led me to believe that she was being unreasonable. I answered honestly, and not rude at all. We all know that when you post something you are going to get people who agree with you - and people who disagree with you. I think this thread turned ugly once the nastiness and eyerolling started.
To the OP - If you just asked for hugs or something then that's what you would have gotten - but that's not what was asked for in the original post.
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| Posted 2/15/09 7:53 PM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...
If it was DD's first birthday and no card was sent I would be upset/hurt, but for me-I don't really care about Valentine's Day, it doesn't really "mean" anything to me.
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| Posted 2/15/09 8:04 PM |
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babybugsmum
THEIR UNBREAKABLE BOND
Member since 8/07 1962 total posts
Name:
gemma
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Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...
Posted by Porrruss
Gemma~ I totally understand and get that your feelings were hurt that your mom forgot- and those feelings are totally VALID because they are YOUR feelings. We can't help how we feel- we just do. I'm sorry your mom hurt you- and I think you realize it wasn't intentional.
That said, I think that the title of your post (implies even YOU think you're being unreasonable) as well as the question "am i being totally stupid about this ???" left you open to people giving their opinions on the matter. Perhaps instead you should have just asked for hugs, or just said you needed support.
Honestly, I don't see where anyone was being really mean until you used the eyeroll dude (who everyone KNOWS is the best way to fuel drama ). Everyone was giving their honest opinions.
Now- my opinion on your OP: I totally get why you're hurt- but I truly don't think your mom meant anything. It sounds like she has a lot on her plate and didn't realize how important it was to you. From this point forward- be very clear to your mom that you want her to celebrate all DDs firsts as well. This way there'll be no misunderstandings.
advice taken respected and learned from
i guess PPD can really put a cloud over ones emotions ( and wording lingo / icons )
now can we put this one to bed 
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| Posted 2/15/09 8:09 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...
Posted by babybugsmum
i guess PPD can really put a cloud over ones emotions ( and wording lingo / icons )
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| Posted 2/15/09 8:15 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...
Posted by Summersalwaysinseason
Posted by karacg
I honestly want to say
"Oh get over it!"
but I know I will get flamed for it....
No "flames", but that was a little insensitive, no? Not saying you have to agree with the OP's feelings, but why pour salt on the wounds, whether you agree or not.
ITA! This is how these "drama" post's get started, its sad.
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| Posted 2/15/09 8:42 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...
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| Posted 2/15/09 9:52 PM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...
I think what upsets us at any given time is subjective, and varies depending on what we are dealing with in life. My DH is undergoing chemotherapy right now, so I honestly do not remember if my mother sent DS a Valentine's card. She may sent him a baby doll (he loves babies all of a sudden), and a card, but what it was or where it went, I don't know. But at another point in my life, I could see being upset at something like this, if not a Valentine card exactly.
So while I agree with some of the posters that the OP might want to try looking at things from her mother's perspective, she is entitled to feel upset about the card. Especially if she has PPD .
To the OP, I would let it go with your mother. She probably felt bad about it, but it sounds like she is going through a lot this year. She may make it up to DC at the next holiday or next year. You already said what you needed to say. I am sure she loves and cherishes her grandchild.
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| Posted 2/16/09 6:55 AM |
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