Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Yup - I definitely worry about it especially because I got pregnant with DD on the 1st try and this time it has not been as easy.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Someone once told me that worrying is praying for something bad to happen. Try not to focus your energy on that. You know you can have a baby - so chances are it can happen again. Don't worry about it until it starts to seem like a problem. At almost 35, I do go there from time to time, but I force myself out of that way of thinking.....

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Someone once told me that worrying is praying for something bad to happen. Try not to focus your energy on that. You know you can have a baby - so chances are it can happen again. Don't worry about it until it starts to seem like a problem. At almost 35, I do go there from time to time, but I force myself out of that way of thinking.....

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Someone once told me that worrying is praying for something bad to happen. Try not to focus your energy on that. You know you can have a baby - so chances are it can happen again. Don't worry about it until it starts to seem like a problem. At almost 35, I do go there from time to time, but I force myself out of that way of thinking.....

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Yes, it does scare me.

Hoping it happens for you soon Diana (and everyone else trying too!)

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Well honestly...they say the average couple ( with NO problems) takes 14 months to conceive. 14 months!!!

That is a LONG time, and people dont realize it. They always hear the stories of the ones it took 1,2, 3 months for and think that is normal. It is not.

If you were over 35 they would tell you to see someone ( specialist) after a year of trying. Under 35...18 months of timed trying.

Also secondary infertility would NOT happen this fast..meaning you had Jack, now have a problem. Secondary infertility means the person still had an infertility issue and one you would if you had would likely know about ( irregular cycles, excessive bleeding etc) .

PLEASE try not to make yourself nuts. I have been there and every month feels like 10 and its so hard to not get frustrated and think what if. But you are Far away from having to think about what if?

I do know its hard..I mean you have no idea how often I think and how all my life decisions NEED to revolve around having more kids, because I could get lucky again, I could have more M/C's, I could need IVF again..the what ifs are so hard.....

Message edited 11/5/2008 8:53:01 PM.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Not to frighten you but I lived it, my kids are 7 years apart and not by choice.
It is all good though, I feel blessed!

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

I do too...because of my age.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

I crossed my mind but ultimately it wasn't a problem.

Babydust to you all!

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

It is sort of happening to us now.

I had a little bit of fertility issues when I was trying to get pregnant with DS but obviously everything worked out well for us!

Now, I am taking the same medicines I took to conceive DS and so far its not working -- acutally yesterday i was at the dr. and he said he was not happy with the way I was responding to the meds. So we'll see what happends from here......I am trying not to stress it to much yet.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Since I was 19 years old (I'm 36 now) I was told the odds that I would be able to carry a baby to term where slim. I had surgery that involved my ovaries, both tubes and my uterus.

I pretty much convinced myself I didn't want children so that I wouldn't be disappointed. Anyway at 34 I started to feel like I wanted to try. It took awhile and I was monitored from the beginning because of my history. Despite all the warnings I was able to conceive and carry to term (although I bled throughout my first trimester and had to be on modified bedrest).

#2 total "surprise" (and another blessing) We were using my fertility monitor so that I'd know my cycle for when we wanted to try for #2 and as birth control, but it wasn't effective as BC

I find myself wanting #3 now, but my OB said I probably wouldn't survive another labor (I had complications after both births)

Try not to worry to much, stress only makes it take longer

Baby dust to all of you

Message edited 11/5/2008 9:13:36 PM.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

i worry about it too.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

With our first we had all types of medical interventions to TTC (4 IUI's and 3 IVF's---they all failed). Between us trying on our own and the specialists, it was 2 years. We actually conceived the first time with acupuncture and chinese herbs. I am pregnant again---we skipped through all the medical stuff this time and just went straight to acupuncture and herbs and I was pregnant within 2 cycles.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Thank you all for responding and I really wish nothing but the best for all of you.

And, lots of

and for those looking to conceive your second, third, fourth, or tenth kids!

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

I am 38- 39 in Dec and I thought for sure we were going to have problems. It was 4 months even with charting and POS for ovulation before it happened and even longer without intervention. Even timing it perfectly, it didn't happen.

I would try not to worry- you have age on your side.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

I am only on month #3 but I have an appt at the RE tomorrow. My cycles have been strange since trying. I went to the OB and they took bloodwork. I pray everything is OK.

I had no problem conceiving my first.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

we have been trying now for 10 months.
it's soooo frustrating.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

I am very very nervous about this. We are in our third month of trying but I have already talked to my doctor about the "what ifs". He said that the average is 3-6 months. I worry so much about have infertility problems

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

You know we are on try #4 and up to this last one I was very scared. With Lucas we said...let's try and boom I was pregnant.

But my reality bites...it's not that easy this time around and for a while I was scared, fearful and upset.

I just can't be that way...it's not who I am and it was making me more miserable. So for my own sanity I stopped. Weird as it sounds (and not at all easy) I just said enough. I have Lucas and I am so grateful that he is happy and healthy. I had a wonderful pregnancy and if that's all I get then I can truly say I am blessed to have had that.

So we're going with the flow. I am using OPKs but other than that no more stressing it.

I truly believe that Lucas was meant to be my son and I was meant to bring him into this world....if another child is in my future...they will come when they are ready. If not...I am okay with that.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Posted by Ang-Rich

You know we are on try #4 and up to this last one I was very scared. With Lucas we said...let's try and boom I was pregnant.

But my reality bites...it's not that easy this time around and for a while I was scared, fearful and upset.

I just can't be that way...it's not who I am and it was making me more miserable. So for my own sanity I stopped. Weird as it sounds (and not at all easy) I just said enough. I have Lucas and I am so grateful that he is happy and healthy. I had a wonderful pregnancy and if that's all I get then I can truly say I am blessed to have had that.

So we're going with the flow. I am using OPKs but other than that no more stressing it.

I truly believe that Lucas was meant to be my son and I was meant to bring him into this world....if another child is in my future...they will come when they are ready. If not...I am okay with that.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Posted by smdl

Posted by Ang-Rich

You know we are on try #4 and up to this last one I was very scared. With Lucas we said...let's try and boom I was pregnant.

But my reality bites...it's not that easy this time around and for a while I was scared, fearful and upset.

I just can't be that way...it's not who I am and it was making me more miserable. So for my own sanity I stopped. Weird as it sounds (and not at all easy) I just said enough. I have Lucas and I am so grateful that he is happy and healthy. I had a wonderful pregnancy and if that's all I get then I can truly say I am blessed to have had that.

So we're going with the flow. I am using OPKs but other than that no more stressing it.

I truly believe that Lucas was meant to be my son and I was meant to bring him into this world....if another child is in my future...they will come when they are ready. If not...I am okay with that.

Apart from my bad day last month, I am trying to NOT be obsessed with this. I want a #2 but I came to turn that I can't get upset if it does not happen.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

I worry about this too. Me, you and Janice are all on or about to be on our 3rd month of TTC. I think it's normal to get upset and scared every time AF shows up. I know I'm in a state of depression right now after AF showed up yesterday, two days early. So I feel you pain.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by JenBenMen

I was extremely scared of this since I am 32, i have one ovary and I didnt "try" to get preggo with #1--but we didnt "prevent" and it still took about 5 months

with #2 it happened right away--but it was also Italy with lots of wine flowing

I think what I am trying to say is have fun, drink, dont worry and maybe if you let yourself calm down it will happen

I know - the Type A personality in me has a hard time letting go of the control.

I know I can't control this and if it's meant to be it will happen, but as the months go on - and we get closer to the end of summer due dates - I am so scared that DH will go back to work and I will never be able to handle two kids on my own.

Re: Is anyone scared of secondary infertility?

Posted by JenBenMen

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by JenBenMen

I was extremely scared of this since I am 32, i have one ovary and I didnt "try" to get preggo with #1--but we didnt "prevent" and it still took about 5 months

with #2 it happened right away--but it was also Italy with lots of wine flowing

I think what I am trying to say is have fun, drink, dont worry and maybe if you let yourself calm down it will happen

I know - the Type A personality in me has a hard time letting go of the control.

I know I can't control this and if it's meant to be it will happen, but as the months go on - and we get closer to the end of summer due dates - I am so scared that DH will go back to work and I will never be able to handle two kids on my own.

At a certain point, maybe if you put Jack in nursery school part time that would help you