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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by babybird2010
Im so surprised by everyone's answers. I dont see what the big deal is. The baby is 2 months old, not a toddler. My friend brought her 4 month old to my shower and i wasnt mad at all, I assumed she would and was glad she did. I also have 2 baby showers to go to this month and my one friend told me I better bring my DD or she would be mad at me 
Its not like they will be running around causing a commotion. And to be honest if someone told me I couldnt bring my 2 month old I wouldnt go! Maybe because I have a big family and always have kids around im used to it but thats JMO
I come from a really big family too and I don't think it's necessary. There is a time and a place for little ones. A shower is not one of them IMO. I also think that it can cause issues...If someone sees a person with a baby there, they may ask "How come I couldn't bring my kid?!"
Unless it was an emergency where the person didn't have a sitter OR if it was extremely close family. Any other situation, I think the baby should be left at home.
I agree with Diana--I was at a shower a couple weeks ago where if every mother brought her young child or baby, there would have been 20+ babies/toddlers there. Where do you draw the line? But i know others feel differently.
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Posted 6/2/11 5:26 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
babybird2010
Baby brother coming soon!
Member since 3/10 2288 total posts
Name:
Jeanette
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by babybird2010
Im so surprised by everyone's answers. I dont see what the big deal is. The baby is 2 months old, not a toddler. My friend brought her 4 month old to my shower and i wasnt mad at all, I assumed she would and was glad she did. I also have 2 baby showers to go to this month and my one friend told me I better bring my DD or she would be mad at me
Its not like they will be running around causing a commotion. And to be honest if someone told me I couldnt bring my 2 month old I wouldnt go! Maybe because I have a big family and always have kids around im used to it but thats JMO
I come from a really big family too and I don't think it's necessary. There is a time and a place for little ones. A shower is not one of them IMO. I also think that it can cause issues...If someone sees a person with a baby there, they may ask "How come I couldn't bring my kid?!"
Unless it was an emergency where the person didn't have a sitter OR if it was extremely close family. Any other situation, I think the baby should be left at home.
Well I dont think its necessary to leave your baby at home. Sorry just my opinion. I wouldnt do it. There is a time and a place for little ones and baby shower should be one of them especially an infant. If they clearly stated NO BABIES then I just wouldnt go But I seem to be much more easy going then a lot of people on this board
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| Posted 6/2/11 5:29 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by babybird2010
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by babybird2010
Im so surprised by everyone's answers. I dont see what the big deal is. The baby is 2 months old, not a toddler. My friend brought her 4 month old to my shower and i wasnt mad at all, I assumed she would and was glad she did. I also have 2 baby showers to go to this month and my one friend told me I better bring my DD or she would be mad at me
Its not like they will be running around causing a commotion. And to be honest if someone told me I couldnt bring my 2 month old I wouldnt go! Maybe because I have a big family and always have kids around im used to it but thats JMO
I come from a really big family too and I don't think it's necessary. There is a time and a place for little ones. A shower is not one of them IMO. I also think that it can cause issues...If someone sees a person with a baby there, they may ask "How come I couldn't bring my kid?!"
Unless it was an emergency where the person didn't have a sitter OR if it was extremely close family. Any other situation, I think the baby should be left at home.
Well I dont think its necessary to leave your baby at home. Sorry just my opinion. I wouldnt do it. There is a time and a place for little ones and baby shower should be one of them especially an infant. If they clearly stated NO BABIES then I just wouldnt go But I seem to be much more easy going then a lot of people on this board
You don't have to get defensive. You are stating your opinion as I am stating mine. If the child is listed on the invitation, sure, bring them. But to assume that you can bring a child to ANY party if they are not on the invitation is rude. A nice intimate shower could end up easily with 10 babies if that were the case.
I enjoy certain parties much more when my children are not there. I can actually socialize, and eat a full meal in peace. There are a time and place for kids - a place where they are not invited is not one of them.
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| Posted 6/2/11 5:35 PM |
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babybird2010
Baby brother coming soon!
Member since 3/10 2288 total posts
Name:
Jeanette
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
I am not getting defensive I'm stating my opinion too. I'm glad you enjoy a meal without your kids but I enjoy every moment with my DD. I guess I'm just a very rude person!! :) don't worry I'm not gonna reply again :)
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| Posted 6/2/11 5:47 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by babybird2010
I am not getting defensive I'm stating my opinion too. I'm glad you enjoy a meal without your kids but I enjoy every moment with my DD. I guess I'm just a very rude person!! :) don't worry I'm not gonna reply again :)
I soooo knew you were going to take that route that you enjoy every second with your daughter and I'm a bad mom for enjoying adult time without my kids once in awhile.
Thank goodness you're not replying because I'd be worried that if I say any more you'll be calling CPS on me 
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| Posted 6/2/11 5:51 PM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by babybird2010
I am not getting defensive I'm stating my opinion too. I'm glad you enjoy a meal without your kids but I enjoy every moment with my DD. I guess I'm just a very rude person!! :) don't worry I'm not gonna reply again :)
That's a very rude reply, actually.
And frankly unless your child is EXPRESSLY INVITED, it's RUDE to just bring them to an event. I don't care whether they're 3 months, 3 years, or 30 years of age. Invites are directed to the EXACT invitees, often due to space & logistics concerns, so to purposely disregard that is generally looked upon as a real breach of etiquette. Doesn't matter that you see yourself as "easygoing". It's rude.
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| Posted 6/2/11 6:15 PM |
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KennysMommy
Never knew LOVE like it before
Member since 3/10 2640 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
I would say no but since it's a baby shower, I'm sure having a newborn there would be fine. Definitely ask first!
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| Posted 6/2/11 6:19 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by colette
Posted by babybird2010
I am not getting defensive I'm stating my opinion too. I'm glad you enjoy a meal without your kids but I enjoy every moment with my DD. I guess I'm just a very rude person!! :) don't worry I'm not gonna reply again :)
That's a very rude reply, actually.
And frankly unless your child is EXPRESSLY INVITED, it's RUDE to just bring them to an event. I don't care whether they're 3 months, 3 years, or 30 years of age. Invites are directed to the EXACT invitees, often due to space & logistics concerns, so to purposely disregard that is generally looked upon as a real breach of etiquette. Doesn't matter that you see yourself as "easygoing". It's rude.
ITA
The shower is not about what is good for you. It's about the person the shower is for. And the reality is babies DO detract from a shower honoree. And if it's good for one, why not good for all? Imagine a shower with 10+ babies? Just not right. It's quite rude to assume just b/c a baby is "small" that they somehow don't require to be invited.
A friend of mine brought their young baby to my bridal shower. She asked my mom and put her on the spot, so what else could she say? My mom told her no one else was bringing their babies/kids but if she had to then she had to...Honestly it was quite rude being that she already HAD a babysitter at home and that there were at least 10 other mothers who did NOT bring their children. Really did make me think she was LOOKING for attention to bring her baby....vs leave the baby home with a sitter. Even if it was a baby shower, that is for the mom to be, not the guests' babies.
Message edited 6/2/2011 6:25:28 PM.
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| Posted 6/2/11 6:21 PM |
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ttcing
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/09 851 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by babybird2010
I am not getting defensive I'm stating my opinion too. I'm glad you enjoy a meal without your kids but I enjoy every moment with my DD. I guess I'm just a very rude person!! :) don't worry I'm not gonna reply again :)
Wow!!! u are a rude person in the way u express urself!!! I enjoy being with my dd as well but i like ME time to socialize with my friends and fam at gatherings. You seem a little too cranky!!
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| Posted 6/2/11 6:40 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
No. I would leave both kids home. If you cannot leave your 2 month old with anyone, you can ask but please don't be offended if they don't want children.
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| Posted 6/2/11 6:43 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by babybird2010
I am not getting defensive I'm stating my opinion too. I'm glad you enjoy a meal without your kids but I enjoy every moment with my DD. I guess I'm just a very rude person!! :) don't worry I'm not gonna reply again :)
Totally uncalled for. Diana is a sweetheart...in person and online....there's no need to imply that you're a better mother than her because she enjoys a meal here or there without her kids.
People put names on invitations for a reason....to let the people who are INVITED know about the party. Not the people who aren't invited. To assume otherwise is rude.
Depending on the relationship to the shower hostess, I generally ask if my daughter is invited as well.
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| Posted 6/2/11 6:44 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by babybird2010
Well I dont think its necessary to leave your baby at home. Sorry just my opinion. I wouldnt do it. There is a time and a place for little ones and baby shower should be one of them especially an infant. If they clearly stated NO BABIES then I just wouldnt go But I seem to be much more easy going then a lot of people on this board
It has nothing to do with being "easy going." It has everything to do with manners..
you do realize how RUDE it is to not at least ASK if you can bring your child.
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| Posted 6/2/11 6:48 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by babybird2010
I am not getting defensive I'm stating my opinion too. I'm glad you enjoy a meal without your kids but I enjoy every moment with my DD. I guess I'm just a very rude person!! :) don't worry I'm not gonna reply again :)
you are clearly SUCH a better parent than any of us...
Trust me... your DD is an angel now... but give it a few years... you are going to BEG for that alone time. 
Message edited 6/2/2011 6:50:21 PM.
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| Posted 6/2/11 6:49 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by colette
Posted by babybird2010
I am not getting defensive I'm stating my opinion too. I'm glad you enjoy a meal without your kids but I enjoy every moment with my DD. I guess I'm just a very rude person!! :) don't worry I'm not gonna reply again :)
That's a very rude reply, actually.
And frankly unless your child is EXPRESSLY INVITED, it's RUDE to just bring them to an event. I don't care whether they're 3 months, 3 years, or 30 years of age. Invites are directed to the EXACT invitees, often due to space & logistics concerns, so to purposely disregard that is generally looked upon as a real breach of etiquette. Doesn't matter that you see yourself as "easygoing". It's rude.
This!!!!!!!!
I love how you can say what I'm thinking so eloquently!!!!
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| Posted 6/2/11 7:03 PM |
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sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
I think it depends on the person and the situation.
For me, my twin girls were not on BILs wedding invite. But we discussed with BIL prior they would be coming. They are BFing and will only be 9 weeks old.
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| Posted 6/2/11 7:10 PM |
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springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!
Member since 11/09 7155 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
I agree assuming is not a good idea. But where I live now (which is not NY), it actually is assumed that non-mobile babies are invited along to a baby shower. But most baby showers here are not out at paid-per-head restaurants. They're usually held at someone's home. If a baby shower is "no babies" it says so on the invite. But it sounds from the 3 pages of this thread I've just read that this is definitely not the case in NY, so just ask whomever you're RSVPing to.
To the poster who shared about the 2-month-old wailer, that's awful! Why was the parent not out away from the rest of the party with that baby? Wow. That sounds like a miserable experience.
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| Posted 6/2/11 7:35 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
My DD has come with me to EVERY baby/bridal shower since she was an infant. (She's now 2 1/2). I will say though I always double check that it's okay to bring her and nobody ever has a problem with it. She behaves amazingly when we're out so I like to take her with me to all the girlie events. She has a blast!
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| Posted 6/2/11 7:44 PM |
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MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!
Member since 8/07 8806 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by nov04libride
I agree with Diana--I was at a shower a couple weeks ago where if every mother brought her young child or baby, there would have been 20+ babies/toddlers there. Where do you draw the line? But i know others feel differently.
I agree as well. I have had parties where kids were not invited but between my Latino side of the family and DH's Italian side of the family, we're looking at 40+ kids easy  . I"m sorry but that's a LOT of kids and I am not equipped to handle a party that size all the time. If that makes me rude, well then I guess I'm rude.
To the OP, while I'm sure it's not a huge deal if you were to bring your LO and your friend might not in fact care, you could also be putting her in an awkward situation if she told others that they could not bring their kids, KWIM?
Message edited 6/2/2011 8:27:17 PM.
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| Posted 6/2/11 8:24 PM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by babybird2010
I am not getting defensive I'm stating my opinion too. I'm glad you enjoy a meal without your kids but I enjoy every moment with my DD. I guess I'm just a very rude person!! :) don't worry I'm not gonna reply again :)
Your DD looks very young, comment again in another year or when you are on baby #2, lets see how you feel then about spending an afternoon having a meal without chasing a child around.
To answer OP, I would not bring my DS to a shower because I am evil and like my alone time. BUT when he was a newborn and I was nursing, I would call and ask if I could bring the baby. If they said they would prefer I didn't then I would not be offended or push the issue at all.
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| Posted 6/2/11 8:33 PM |
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KangaMom
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Member since 1/06 4593 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
In Our situation it is assumed that our Children go everywhere with us and I Personally wouldn't want to go anywhere without them...
A simple phone call would be fine to ask if it is ok 
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| Posted 6/3/11 10:08 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by HeathKernandez
Posted by babybird2010
I am not getting defensive I'm stating my opinion too. I'm glad you enjoy a meal without your kids but I enjoy every moment with my DD. I guess I'm just a very rude person!! :) don't worry I'm not gonna reply again :)
you are clearly SUCH a better parent than any of us...
Trust me... your DD is an angel now... but give it a few years... you are going to BEG for that alone time.
This!
I actually think it's normal and healthy to have time away from your child. Healthy for you- healthy for your child.
It makes you a BETTER parent IMO.
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| Posted 6/3/11 10:13 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
my take is this....
it's not ok to assume, but I would call and ask.
mostly b/c I feel like for ME if it was someone I didn't feel comfortable calling and asking, I would NOT be attending in the first place (I wouldn't go to a shower for someone I was not in the very least, a friend of)
and 2,
I, PERSONALLY, would never ban NEWBORN and their mama, ff or ebf of what have you.
toddlers is one thing and I did tell people to try to avoid bringing their toddlers to the bridal shower I just threw b/c the location didn't really have space for them to toddle in but a newborn...nope, I would never.
to ME, a shower, whether it be bridal or baby, is a celebration of family...whether it be the addition to one or the beginning of one...and kids are just a HUGE part of that in my life.
ETA: oh lordy, I just read the drama.
really, I don't understand why everyone is getting so twisted with the new person. come on ladies.
Message edited 6/3/2011 10:28:38 AM.
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| Posted 6/3/11 10:21 AM |
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BellaRock
I am all the Me I will ever Be
Member since 5/06 9746 total posts
Name:
She who shall remain nameless
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
In mine and DH family kids are always welcomed. All our parties are "jack & jill" parties.
However if it wasn't a family member (where I know my DC was welcomed) I wouldn't assume they are invited. I would call and ask if I could bring my NB.
Holy drama batman. I will say this, I don't see anything wrong with wanting a few hours w.o. your kids. I think its totally normal and perfectly healthy to spend some time by yourself.
Message edited 6/3/2011 10:35:38 AM.
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| Posted 6/3/11 10:34 AM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Jess..I think it turned even worse when she illuded to the fact that if you enjoy time away from you child you are a bad mommy... Not gonna go over well on this board.
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| Posted 6/3/11 10:35 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by Linda1003
Jess..I think it turned even worse when she illuded to the fact that if you enjoy time away from you child you are a bad mommy... Not gonna go over well on this board.
nor do contrary beliefs or opinions. I don't think what she said initially was all that wrong and I didn't read that far into her other comment either. I really should have read the whole thead before commenting, especially given the post count....b/c I probably wouldn't have bothered with it at all.
of course there is nothing WRONG with spending time away from you child, just like there is NOTHING WRONG with a mother wanting to be around her newborn.
but I am a heathen and an ******* with zero etiquette. I don't believe in the whole "taking away from the whatever-to-be" or any of that.
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| Posted 6/3/11 10:39 AM |
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