Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Posted by nrthshgrl
I don't feel the need to go back & forth with a poster that's clearly a new mom. I remember when my friends were new moms & were shocked to learn that I would bring my children in daycare on my day off. The expression live & learn has never been more warranted.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Posted by MamaLeen

Posted by nrthshgrl
I don't feel the need to go back & forth with a poster that's clearly a new mom. I remember when my friends were new moms & were shocked to learn that I would bring my children in daycare on my day off. The expression live & learn has never been more warranted.

I agree the pp should not have said she is more easy going but this reply is very condescending and IMO not warranted. I cringe when I hear people try to make others feel less valid because they have less children or younger children, etc.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Posted by munchkinfacemama

Come talk to me again in another 10-12 months. Then let me know how you feel about enjoying a meal without your DD! Trust me, you won't be so quick to throw out judgmental statements like that.

Sorry, I LOL'ed at that one! Boy, you have NO idea! Wait until she is at the age when you can't eat a meal, let alone one with two hands! I love spending tons of time with DD, but wanting to attend a shower sans baby does not make me the next Casey Anthony for Gods sake!
.

Message edited 6/3/2011 5:05:02 PM.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Posted by Goobster

Posted by munchkinfacemama

Come talk to me again in another 10-12 months. Then let me know how you feel about enjoying a meal without your DD! Trust me, you won't be so quick to throw out judgmental statements like that.

Sorry, I LOL'ed at that one! Boy, you have NO idea! Wait until she is at the age when you can't eat a meal, let alone one with two hands! I love spending tons of time with DD, but wanting to attend a shower sans baby does not make me the next Casey Anthony for Gods sake!
.

I hear ya. I LONG for the days I can eat a meal in peace. I dont think I have chewed my food or eaten without a lump in my throat for a good 1.5 years now...lol

I only eat in peace if my toddler is sleeping, which this kid never sleeps. I just recently said to DH, I can't remember the last time I ate in peace. I guess when she goes to nursery school in Sept, I can finally eat a bagel without gulping down my food. As much as I love my DD, as a SAHM esp, I can't wait to have some alone time by MYSELF, esp to do something so simple as eating alone or chatting with another adult ALONE.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Posted by BriBri2u

Posted by babybird2010

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by babybird2010

Im so surprised by everyone's answers. I dont see what the big deal is. The baby is 2 months old, not a toddler. My friend brought her 4 month old to my shower and i wasnt mad at all, I assumed she would and was glad she did. I also have 2 baby showers to go to this month and my one friend told me I better bring my DD or she would be mad at me
Its not like they will be running around causing a commotion. And to be honest if someone told me I couldnt bring my 2 month old I wouldnt go! Maybe because I have a big family and always have kids around im used to it but thats JMO

I come from a really big family too and I don't think it's necessary. There is a time and a place for little ones. A shower is not one of them IMO. I also think that it can cause issues...If someone sees a person with a baby there, they may ask "How come I couldn't bring my kid?!"

Unless it was an emergency where the person didn't have a sitter OR if it was extremely close family. Any other situation, I think the baby should be left at home.

Well I dont think its necessary to leave your baby at home. Sorry just my opinion. I wouldnt do it. There is a time and a place for little ones and baby shower should be one of them especially an infant. If they clearly stated NO BABIES then I just wouldnt go But I seem to be much more easy going then a lot of people on this board

In the words of Stephanie Tanner "well pin a rose on your nose"

It's attitudes like this that ruined my baby shower. I had several people call and tell me they HAD to bring their children with them. Even AFTER I explained why no children were invited -there were simply TOO many.

Because several people kept pushing the issue, I had to give in and say yes and than open it up to EVERYONE who was coming to bring their children.

I had 15+ chiildren all over my shower - running around, screaming, ripping bows off of gifts, sticking their fingers in the cake and cupcakes at the table. Their parents were all too busy chatting to run around after them.

I couldn't wait for it to all be over. I so wanted to tell them all to stay home but that would have caused even more drama.

So, YES it is rude to bring your child to these functions when it is clearly stated.

You are NOT a better mother than me because you spend every waking hour with your child...what do you do when you have to go take a poop?

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Posted by munchkinfacemama

Posted by babybird2010

I am not getting defensive I'm stating my opinion too. I'm glad you enjoy a meal without your kids but I enjoy every moment with my DD. I guess I'm just a very rude person!! :) don't worry I'm not gonna reply again :)

Come talk to me again in another 10-12 months. Then let me know how you feel about enjoying a meal without your DD! Trust me, you won't be so quick to throw out judgmental statements like that.

Sorry, I LOL'ed at that one! Boy, you have NO idea! Wait until she is at the age when you can't eat a meal, let alone one with two hands! I love spending tons of time with DD, but wanting to attend a shower sans baby does not make me the next Casey Anthony for Gods sake!

To the OP-I would never assume babies are welcome. I would ask. I had one shower recently and I asked so I wouldn't be the only one without the baby since I knew other mommies were invited and I was relieved to find out it was an adults only baby shower! You never know! I think some hostesses find that the baby is distracting from the mommy to be on her day and to the other guests, including the mommy of said baby who cannot enjoy the party.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Posted by babybird2010

Im so surprised by everyone's answers. I dont see what the big deal is. The baby is 2 months old, not a toddler. My friend brought her 4 month old to my shower and i wasnt mad at all, I assumed she would and was glad she did. I also have 2 baby showers to go to this month and my one friend told me I better bring my DD or she would be mad at me
Its not like they will be running around causing a commotion. And to be honest if someone told me I couldnt bring my 2 month old I wouldnt go! Maybe because I have a big family and always have kids around im used to it but thats JMO

Message edited 6/3/2011 6:08:57 PM.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Posted by babybird2010

Im so surprised by everyone's answers. I dont see what the big deal is. The baby is 2 months old, not a toddler. My friend brought her 4 month old to my shower and i wasnt mad at all, I assumed she would and was glad she did. I also have 2 baby showers to go to this month and my one friend told me I better bring my DD or she would be mad at me
Its not like they will be running around causing a commotion. And to be honest if someone told me I couldnt bring my 2 month old I wouldnt go! Maybe because I have a big family and always have kids around im used to it but thats JMO

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

My personal opinion is to never assume as well. Even though I had a bunch of kids at my shower and it was fine for me, I realize it may not be ok for someone else. I can definitely see both sides. I think babybird was just stating her opinion and I can see where she was coming from too. Furthermore, I also think it is okay to state an opinion that differs from the masses. We are all individuals on here with different personalities and experiences.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Posted by BriBri2u

Posted by babybird2010

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by babybird2010

Im so surprised by everyone's answers. I dont see what the big deal is. The baby is 2 months old, not a toddler. My friend brought her 4 month old to my shower and i wasnt mad at all, I assumed she would and was glad she did. I also have 2 baby showers to go to this month and my one friend told me I better bring my DD or she would be mad at me
Its not like they will be running around causing a commotion. And to be honest if someone told me I couldnt bring my 2 month old I wouldnt go! Maybe because I have a big family and always have kids around im used to it but thats JMO

I come from a really big family too and I don't think it's necessary. There is a time and a place for little ones. A shower is not one of them IMO. I also think that it can cause issues...If someone sees a person with a baby there, they may ask "How come I couldn't bring my kid?!"

Unless it was an emergency where the person didn't have a sitter OR if it was extremely close family. Any other situation, I think the baby should be left at home.

Well I dont think its necessary to leave your baby at home. Sorry just my opinion. I wouldnt do it. There is a time and a place for little ones and baby shower should be one of them especially an infant. If they clearly stated NO BABIES then I just wouldnt go But I seem to be much more easy going then a lot of people on this board

In the words of Stephanie Tanner "well pin a rose on your nose"

It's attitudes like this that ruined my baby shower. I had several people call and tell me they HAD to bring their children with them. Even AFTER I explained why no children were invited -there were simply TOO many.

Because several people kept pushing the issue, I had to give in and say yes and than open it up to EVERYONE who was coming to bring their children.

I had 15+ chiildren all over my shower - running around, screaming, ripping bows off of gifts, sticking their fingers in the cake and cupcakes at the table. Their parents were all too busy chatting to run around after them.

I couldn't wait for it to all be over. I so wanted to tell them all to stay home but that would have caused even more drama.

So, YES it is rude to bring your child to these functions when it is clearly stated.

You are NOT a better mother than me because you spend every waking hour with your child...what do you do when you have to go take a poop?

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

This has really gone insane.

Personally, I wouldn't bring my son to a baby shower. He's only 3 months old and if he has a crying fit, I don't want to ruin the guest of honor's good time. I love my son and the time I spend with him but it has also made me appreciate the time alone I have.

I'm on the side of leaving your kids at home.

P.S. Every time I am away from him, I miss him so much it makes the rest of my day that much better when I get home.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

I look forward to events like this so I CAN leave my kids at home. I enjoy spending time catching up with the ladies. That being said I would call before I "assume" that it is ok to bring my kids.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

I think that this situation is different for every family, and location. What is normal in NY may be different somewhere else as well. In MI it's normal to take your kids to a baby shower. You have to use your own judgement, but it's not a special invite or such here. IMHO if you have received the invite and DC isn't listed and the only way you can really go is to take DC call the hostess and ask if you feel uncomfortable. I have and will take my DD to a baby shower. I had to and it was fine. I don't find it rude...it's a baby shower not a bachelorrete party.

To the OP: I don't know the whole situation as to why she said no to the 2mn old, but if you feel you should stay home then that's fine. If you want to leave both kids with your DH that's fine too. I think we all need to remember it's an invitation to attend not a mandatory friend/family meeting, and in a few short months SHE may be in that same situation and be feeling what you're feeling.

I also want to add: Until Emmy was about a year old I rarely wanted to leave her. She was my little magnet and went everywhere with me, but I was also a ftwm as well. Now she is 17months and i'm a sahm. I live for my time away once a week to go grocery shopping, go to an event, or helll pee in peace. I think as a new 1st time mommy we are drawn to be with them as much as we can. I also think as btdt mommies we appreciate the breaks in a different way. The drama is sad. I *think* it's just mommies coming from different places, and not being able to hear the tone in the other posters. I 1000% do not believe any mommy on here is TRYING to put somebody else down. I think that we ALL have a hard time at times expressing ourselves in words, and in that we get defensive and so on.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

OMG

honestly, if I got an invite with just my name on it for a baby shower-I would INSTANTLY think yay, finally the baby has somewhere to go dressed up!

I would not call or question, I would have just showed up with my 2 mos old, smiled and happy to be out.

I would have never for a second thought it was rude.

I would ask for a wedding, but a baby shower? no way! I would not have given it a thought.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

I would never assume my kids were invited anywhere. And unless it was a close friend or family member and I was completely stuck with no sitter, I would never even call and ask because I wouldn't want to put them on the spot.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

I don't assume but I do ask for clarification if I'm not sure b/c I wouldn't always assume my child's name would be on the invite. Obviously, if they say adults only and I can't get a sitter, then I'm not going. I had a lot of trouble going out the first year of my kid's lives - between EBF and DH working weekends, but all I ask is a friend doesn't get mad at me that I can't be there for sometihng b/c of my kids. It goes both ways - I completely get people wanting an adult only function, but I also hope they get my first priority is my kids.

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

I would NEVER assume my kids are invited anywhere without clarifying it with the host.

if someone had shown up with kids without asking me first at my showers, i would have been beyond upset. besides making sure i have enough room for kids i wasn't expecting, it's just not right to bring someone, anyone, along without asking first (unless it's close family--like my sister--that would just be expected)

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?

I have a 12 week old DD that I will be bringing with me to a baby shower in a few weeks but only because there are no alternatives (and the mom to be said i should bring her). I bf DD and although she takes pumped bottles from my mom when I'm at work, she won't take a bottle from DH and he said he was really nervous to be alone with her for a few hours.


I feel lucky that i can bring her but honestly if i couldn't i would certainly understand why. Her stroller takes up a lot of space and with an infant you just never know if they're going to have a good day or not.

I'm a ftwm, love my daughter to death and miss her like crazy when I'm at work but I'm only human and need time away from her too. It doesnt make you a bad mom to not be with your child every possible moment you can.