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MamaB17
Back for baby #3
Member since 5/09 4065 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
I would not bring dd. It might be wrong, but I hate when I attend something & get stuck next to the mom& baby. Before the torches come out hear me out. There have been several times I have left dd w/ dh or w/ my mom. Then I am excited to enjoy some grown up time & am seated w/ someone w/ a young child. As a sahm these are some of the only times I get a break, so it is frustrating. I would never want to do that to someone else. The only way I would bring dd is if she was asked for.
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Posted 6/3/11 10:58 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by Ophelia
ETA: oh lordy, I just read the drama.
really, I don't understand why everyone is getting so twisted with the new person. come on ladies.
So far she
1- stated she's much more easy going than a lot more posters on this board.
2- implied because people enjoy a meal without their kids they don't enjoy spending time with their child
I don't feel the need to go back & forth with a poster that's clearly a new mom. I remember when my friends were new moms & were shocked to learn that I would bring my children in daycare on my day off. The expression live & learn has never been more warranted.
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| Posted 6/3/11 11:16 AM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Linda1003
Jess..I think it turned even worse when she illuded to the fact that if you enjoy time away from you child you are a bad mommy... Not gonna go over well on this board.
nor do contrary beliefs or opinions. I don't think what she said initially was all that wrong and I didn't read that far into her other comment either. I really should have read the whole thead before commenting, especially given the post count....b/c I probably wouldn't have bothered with it at all.
of course there is nothing WRONG with spending time away from you child, just like there is NOTHING WRONG with a mother wanting to be around her newborn.
but I am a heathen and an ******* with zero etiquette. I don't believe in the whole "taking away from the whatever-to-be" or any of that.
ITA- like usual.
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| Posted 6/3/11 11:57 AM |
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JennB
My princess <3
Member since 5/09 2473 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
No - any showers that I have been invited to and DD was invited her name was on the invite too.
Some people don't have children at showers bc there are just too many. If it's not specified, and I want to bring DD I ALWAYS ask first.
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| Posted 6/3/11 12:03 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
To answer the ORIGINAL question, no it is not OK to "assume" they are invited. That said, I, as a toddler Mom would not bring my kids..they would be a distraction to the guest of honor and I wouldn't enjoy myself either. An infant, yes, if you have no other choice, but ask first.
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| Posted 6/3/11 12:51 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by BeachMom
I guess i'm in the minority here, but usually if they want no kids they specify it. And I can see bringing your 2 month old without a question as to whether it is ok or not. The toddler i would definitly check just because they dont always have space or things for the mobile children to do.
Just a thought, but I'm sure they don't want elephants at their shower either, do they have to specify that?
The invitation is made out to the people who are invited, it is in poor taste to write "no kids" and in equally poor taste to assume that because it doesn't say no kids, that your kids are ASSUMED to be invited.
It is a rare and welcome day when I can get out of my house alone and have adult conversation and enjoy a meal to myself.....Mother of the Year over here!!!!!
Message edited 6/3/2011 1:21:22 PM.
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| Posted 6/3/11 12:58 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by JennB
No - any showers that I have been invited to and DD was invited her name was on the invite too.
Some people don't have children at showers bc there are just too many. If it's not specified, and I want to bring DD I ALWAYS ask first.
ditto - they very clearly state
Mrs. Matilde ------ and AnnaMaria if she is invited
If I had invited babies to my showers, there would have been over 15! 
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| Posted 6/3/11 1:00 PM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
I only assume my kids are invited to something when the invitation reads "The XXXXX Family", my name and the girls and our last names or Mr & Mrs XXX and children.
Otherwise if something comes in with my name, it's only meant for me
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| Posted 6/3/11 1:06 PM |
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maybemommy10
Big Brothers to Be !
Member since 2/10 3868 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
My baby shower invites JUST went out. A friend texted my DH to ask if she could bring her 3 kids. (10,4 and 8months). Of course I would never say no, but I resent her for putting us in this situation. I AM as laid back as they come, and IIII think it was rude.
I would never think to ask a host if I can tag along anyone to their party. Hi, I know you invited me but can you also feed, my 2 cousins, 3 kids, uncle and dog, thanks:)? Who does that.
And to the people who say they ask and its never a problem, chances are they think you are rude and are just being polite.
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| Posted 6/3/11 1:10 PM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by babybird2010
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by babybird2010
Im so surprised by everyone's answers. I dont see what the big deal is. The baby is 2 months old, not a toddler. My friend brought her 4 month old to my shower and i wasnt mad at all, I assumed she would and was glad she did. I also have 2 baby showers to go to this month and my one friend told me I better bring my DD or she would be mad at me 
Its not like they will be running around causing a commotion. And to be honest if someone told me I couldnt bring my 2 month old I wouldnt go! Maybe because I have a big family and always have kids around im used to it but thats JMO
I come from a really big family too and I don't think it's necessary. There is a time and a place for little ones. A shower is not one of them IMO. I also think that it can cause issues...If someone sees a person with a baby there, they may ask "How come I couldn't bring my kid?!"
Unless it was an emergency where the person didn't have a sitter OR if it was extremely close family. Any other situation, I think the baby should be left at home.
Well I dont think its necessary to leave your baby at home. Sorry just my opinion. I wouldnt do it. There is a time and a place for little ones and baby shower should be one of them especially an infant. If they clearly stated NO BABIES then I just wouldnt go But I seem to be much more easy going then a lot of people on this board
In the words of Stephanie Tanner "well pin a rose on your nose"
It's attitudes like this that ruined my baby shower. I had several people call and tell me they HAD to bring their children with them. Even AFTER I explained why no children were invited -there were simply TOO many.
Because several people kept pushing the issue, I had to give in and say yes and than open it up to EVERYONE who was coming to bring their children.
I had 15+ chiildren all over my shower - running around, screaming, ripping bows off of gifts, sticking their fingers in the cake and cupcakes at the table. Their parents were all too busy chatting to run around after them.
I couldn't wait for it to all be over. I so wanted to tell them all to stay home but that would have caused even more drama.
So, YES it is rude to bring your child to these functions when it is clearly stated.
You are NOT a better mother than me because you spend every waking hour with your child...what do you do when you have to go take a poop?
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| Posted 6/3/11 1:14 PM |
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maybemommy10
Big Brothers to Be !
Member since 2/10 3868 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by BriBri2u
So, YES it is rude to bring your child to these functions when it is clearly stated.
You are NOT a better mother than me because you spend every waking hour with your child...what do you do when you have to go take a poop?
LIKE
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| Posted 6/3/11 1:35 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by BriBri2u
It's attitudes like this that ruined my baby shower. I had several people call and tell me they HAD to bring their children with them. Even AFTER I explained why no children were invited -there were simply TOO many.
Because several people kept pushing the issue, I had to give in and say yes and than open it up to EVERYONE who was coming to bring their children.
I had 15+ chiildren all over my shower - running around, screaming, ripping bows off of gifts, sticking their fingers in the cake and cupcakes at the table. Their parents were all too busy chatting to run around after them.
I couldn't wait for it to all be over. I so wanted to tell them all to stay home but that would have caused even more drama.
So, YES it is rude to bring your child to these functions when it is clearly stated.
You are NOT a better mother than me because you spend every waking hour with your child...what do you do when you have to go take a poop?
That's awful. That was your shower. And it really should not have been disrupted in ANY way by children. B/c you are right. The reality is any parent that pushed the issue to bring their child will also most likelyl sit there and GAB vs keep their child from behaving disruptively. That is awful that happened to you and just plain rude on their parts.
Come on. You can go without your child for a few hrs. And if you can't then maybe consider staying home. Just not fair to the bride (or mom to be). It's not baby's day out. It's a shower. 
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| Posted 6/3/11 2:00 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
I would never assume that, and would ask if I absolutely had to bring them - meaning either I brought them or couldn't attend.
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| Posted 6/3/11 2:15 PM |
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Bella01
LIF Adult
Member since 5/11 3708 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
I was invited to a shower when my DD was like a month old. She wasn't invited. I went for three reasons 1) she came to mine 2) I needed a little break and 3) My DH was watching her.
I would never take my DD to places where she is not invited. If I want to go, I will. If I don't feel like leaving her that day, I will stay with her.
I agree with OP-never assume.
Message edited 6/3/2011 2:45:18 PM.
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| Posted 6/3/11 2:17 PM |
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
No I wouldn't assume. Just have DH juggle the kiddo's and go.
I am not even going to reference the rest of the drama because like the other tunnel topics I don't want to get sucked in.
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| Posted 6/3/11 2:24 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
...
Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
To answer the original question: No, it is not ok to assume that your children are invited to ANYTHING if their names are not on the invitation.
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| Posted 6/3/11 2:26 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by BargainMama
If they say your 2 month old cannot attend, I would probably not attend either to be honest.
ITA
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| Posted 6/3/11 2:39 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
In my family all female children are invited to showers and the little boys stay home. The girl's all grow up attending these ladies' events. Their names are all on the invites. It is always assumed okay to bring a boy though if he is truly a NB and so they will just eat/sleep in the carrier for the most part. I would say like 4 months and under. Obviously if the baby cries the mom is expected to leave the room.
So I guess my answer is that unless you really "know your crowd" (We have like 3 showers a year, lol, big fam) I would not assume- however, that doesn't necessarily mean a NB won't be welcome. I just don't know if I'd feel comfortable asking. Maybe I would phrase it like "am I supposed to bring ds?" and feel out the answer?
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| Posted 6/3/11 2:40 PM |
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Babylove10
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/10 814 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by -Lisa-
I think its fine to bring an infant. Definitely not a toddler.
I agree a toddler who is running around and needs a seat is a bit much. As is a colic baby. If the baby is generally very quiet, it shouldn't be an issue. I would still ask though.
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| Posted 6/3/11 3:13 PM |
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Babylove10
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/10 814 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by maybesoon
Posted by BargainMama
If they say your 2 month old cannot attend, I would probably not attend either to be honest.
ITA
Agree.
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| Posted 6/3/11 3:16 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by Bridex100
I'm going to a baby shower. Only my name is on the invitation.
Do you think it would be ok to assume it is ok for 2m DS to come?
I don't plan to take 2yo DS.
I didn't go through all the answers at all, so I apologize first (LOL) but I wanted to answer. :) When I had my baby shower, I didn't put my niece's name on the invite or another of DH's cousin's kids. Reason being, I thought it was assumed that, OF COURSE they were invited! SIL called me to ask if her daughter was invited and I said, "OMG, please! Of course she is!" And I apologized for not writing it. She didn't want to assume, and just wondered if maybe it was adults only. So, maybe like me, it is assumed. Then for my daughter's christening, I made sure to write "and family" on all the invites. i also want to add, this might be going into a gray area, but certain kids in my family are always invited, without saying....my niece, my cousins, my husband's cousin's kids and kids to be. Of course, friends of mine can always bring babies but some of them do want to keep them home. I usually tell them they are welcome. For my shower, my parents opened up their home to the daddies so some of my friends could keep their little ones there, with the guys.
Message edited 6/3/2011 4:34:39 PM.
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| Posted 6/3/11 4:25 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
i sometimes got stressed out bringing her "out" to places other than in laws or my mom's when she so little....am I the only scaredy cat?! I'm fine now, but at first, I would be nervous. she was a cranky pants.
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| Posted 6/3/11 4:28 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by lynnd126
In my family all female children are invited to showers and the little boys stay home. The girl's all grow up attending these ladies' events. Their names are all on the invites. It is always assumed okay to bring a boy though if he is truly a NB and so they will just eat/sleep in the carrier for the most part. I would say like 4 months and under. Obviously if the baby cries the mom is expected to leave the room.
If I paint my toddler boy's nails and grow his hair long, can I then bring him?
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| Posted 6/3/11 4:35 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Seems to me that time would be better spent picking up the phone and asking if yourinfant can go rather then going back and forth on here as to why the infant should be allowed to go. Heck,maybe she will say bring him.
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| Posted 6/3/11 4:45 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Is it ok to assume that my kids are invited to the baby shower if they are not on the invite?
Posted by PrincessP
Seems to me that time would be better spent picking up the phone and asking if yourinfant can go rather then going back and forth on here as to why the infant should be allowed to go. Heck,maybe she will say bring him.
She already asked and responded (p. 2) and said he wasn't welcome.
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| Posted 6/3/11 4:47 PM |
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