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Making your child get a job
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Making your child get a job
Thank you ladies . I will be sticking to my guns and not allowing this any longer,
Message edited 8/15/2016 3:26:48 PM.
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Posted 8/15/16 3:26 PM  |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by rebeccamol
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by rebeccamol
I was the same, I worked since I was 13(delivering newspapers) and at times I had 2 jobs sometimes 3. The decision I need to make is getting her the car then I have to get myself a new one as we cant share the car because of school and my job. I just told her NO car. I also cancelled her highlights appointment(3 days before picture retakes,shes livid). I am cutting her off today. Her telling me she is going to tan was the last straw and I also thinks he needs to hold a job for a certain amount of time before getting the car. I dont trust she will keep the job.
You pay for her highlights??? I'm sorry, not trying to be a b@tch, but I can't remember the last time my mother paid for a haircut...probably not since I was 13 at least!
You are right!
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| Posted 8/15/16 3:27 PM |
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Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
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Making your child get a job
I babysat every week when I was in high school. My parents gave me my dads old car but only because I babysat and I paid for my own gas and did well in school. I also had to get another job in the summer.
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| Posted 8/15/16 4:18 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Making your child get a job
You made a deal - In order for her to get the car, she had to get a job.
She didn't hold up her end of the bargain, neither should you.
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| Posted 8/15/16 4:34 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by evrythng4areason
I would only let her use the car if/when she has a job. If she loses the job, she loses the car unless she has money saved up to pay for gas, insurance, etc
Yes, this. And stop giving her any money, paying her cell, etc.
Yup I agree.
I didn't have a paying job before I had a car but my mom told me I needed to do something the summer before junior year of hs, either a job or volunteer work. I volunteered for over a year for a local organization- it looked great on my college apps and it gave me something worthwhile to do instead of bumming around all summer. Then the summer before senior year, I got a paying job and I drove myself- I worked there and also continued to volunteer. If I kept my grades up, I could keep both the paying and volunteer jobs. If my grades dropped, I had to cut down hours or quit the paying job and if I didn't have enough money to pay for gas, well then I was SOL.
Eta: my parents gave me their old car and my mom got a new one.
Message edited 8/15/2016 4:57:42 PM.
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| Posted 8/15/16 4:56 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Making your child get a job
So I'm going to offer maybe a slightly different perspective? That said, you and your daughter made a deal and I think you should stick to it, 100%. However, I don't think I would make my kids get a job in high school, other than a summer job.
My job in HS, according to my parents, was to get good grades. If my grades fell and I didn't ask for help in a timely manner, I lost privileges and luxuries. I did babysit, but not regularly. I had summer jobs as a camp counselor from 16 on, but beyond that I didn't work as a kid. But that was my parents' decision and they had the means to do it.
I didn't get a car until I was in college and had a 4.0 GPA after freshman year. I volunteered and babysat in college a bit, but also still only had summer jobs. That was how my family did things - school, grades, education was the kids' job. But again - that's what worked for our family.
You need to do what's right for your family, and what feels right to you as a parent. In this case it does sound like you need a bit tough with her.
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| Posted 8/15/16 5:09 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by MandJZ
So I'm going to offer maybe a slightly different perspective? That said, you and your daughter made a deal and I think you should stick to it, 100%. However, I don't think I would make my kids get a job in high school, other than a summer job.
My job in HS, according to my parents, was to get good grades. If my grades fell and I didn't ask for help in a timely manner, I lost privileges and luxuries. I did babysit, but not regularly. I had summer jobs as a camp counselor from 16 on, but beyond that I didn't work as a kid. But that was my parents' decision and they had the means to do it.
I didn't get a car until I was in college and had a 4.0 GPA after freshman year. I volunteered and babysat in college a bit, but also still only had summer jobs. That was how my family did things - school, grades, education was the kids' job. But again - that's what worked for our family.
You need to do what's right for your family, and what feels right to you as a parent. In this case it does sound like you need a bit tough with her.
Edited bc I quoted the wrong poster.
*******************
I am going to respectfully disagree with this.
While every college is different, I do have a little bit of experience with the admissions process overall and what I have always understood is this: Unless a student is at an elite level in their sport or hobby, most schools are looking for accomplishment - or at least effort - in the volunteer/work area.
Of course schoolwork should come first - that should go without saying. However, there are ways to make sure a students' hours are limited. That's what working papers are for, after all. Additionally, while a job should be the first thing to go if grades slip, that doesn't mean the effort shouldn't be made to get one. A student can always quit if necessary - and lose the spending money as a consequence for not keeping up grades.
Having said that, I think if a teenager can't find a job, they should at least volunteer. When a child is 16, they need to find a job and start to become responsible for at least some extras - highlights, etc. - or give them up if necessary.
But overall, I think there aren't a lot of legitimate reasons for a teen 16 plus not to work. Yes, even during the school year. High school gets out early. Yes, it could be a lot to juggle especially with sports and activities, but it'll be worth it in several ways.
Message edited 8/15/2016 6:43:35 PM.
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| Posted 8/15/16 6:41 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by JennP
Posted by MandJZ
So I'm going to offer maybe a slightly different perspective? That said, you and your daughter made a deal and I think you should stick to it, 100%. However, I don't think I would make my kids get a job in high school, other than a summer job.
My job in HS, according to my parents, was to get good grades. If my grades fell and I didn't ask for help in a timely manner, I lost privileges and luxuries. I did babysit, but not regularly. I had summer jobs as a camp counselor from 16 on, but beyond that I didn't work as a kid. But that was my parents' decision and they had the means to do it.
I didn't get a car until I was in college and had a 4.0 GPA after freshman year. I volunteered and babysat in college a bit, but also still only had summer jobs. That was how my family did things - school, grades, education was the kids' job. But again - that's what worked for our family.
You need to do what's right for your family, and what feels right to you as a parent. In this case it does sound like you need a bit tough with her.
Edited bc I quoted the wrong poster.
*******************
I am going to respectfully disagree with this.
While every college is different, I do have a little bit of experience with the admissions process overall and what I have always understood is this: Unless a student is at an elite level in their sport or hobby, most schools are looking for accomplishment - or at least effort - in the volunteer/work area.
Of course schoolwork should come first - that should go without saying. However, there are ways to make sure a students' hours are limited. That's what working papers are for, after all. Additionally, while a job should be the first thing to go if grades slip, that doesn't mean the effort shouldn't be made to get one. A student can always quit if necessary - and lose the spending money as a consequence for not keeping up grades.
Having said that, I think if a teenager can't find a job, they should at least volunteer. When a child is 16, they need to find a job and start to become responsible for at least some extras - highlights, etc. - or give them up if necessary.
But overall, I think there aren't a lot of legitimate reasons for a teen 16 plus not to work. Yes, even during the school year. High school gets out early. Yes, it could be a lot to juggle especially with sports and activities, but it'll be worth it in several ways.
That's fair, as a general rule. However as I said we did what worked for our family. My HS did not get out early - I went to a Jewish school and I was at school from 8-4:30 every day, and the school was about 20-25 min from home so by the time I was home it was 5pm. Between dinner, homework for a double courseload, showering...that was it. I didn't hang out with friends on school nights. I didn't have time for anything else.
I very much respect families where kids get jobs in high school. I think it's fantastic and teaches valuable lessons. But I was sharing why in my family growing up it wasn't part of what we did, and if my kids attend a similar type of school I'm not sure I'd insist on them getting a job either.
That said - community service hours were mandatory at my school (more than triple the hours required by public schools) so I did volunteer during the year.
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| Posted 8/15/16 7:23 PM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Making your child get a job
I did not have a car until my senior year and even then it was limited. I only had jobs during the summer - I had many extracurricular activities so during the school year my parents did help subsidize things like gas, clothes, etc. Once I went to college I was pretty much on my own and worked full time while going to school full time, although they did help with books and bills in emergencies.
Your daughter is taking advantage and I can't say I blame her if you've given her a long leash. My parents did the same and I definitely milked them for what I could until I was cut off LOL but in high school if I wasn't in so many activities and clubs I would have been expected to get a job.
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| Posted 8/15/16 7:40 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Making your child get a job
She doesn't sound responsible enough to have a car. I wouldn't do it. Don't force it. Especially if you don't need a new car. Why have two and have one sitting around while she is away next year.
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| Posted 8/15/16 8:10 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Making your child get a job
I dunno, she is still in High School, so I guess I'm in the minority in that I don't think she NEEDS to have a job, and it sure doesn't sound like she even wants a car. A Summer job, sure. But Summer is pretty much over now. I'm in the camp that I will support my kids fully until they graduate from high school, and I would rather them focus on their studies, extra curricular, and volunteering (which is actually required to graduate), rather than have an after school job. BUT, I also wouldn't be paying for highlights, and other trivial things like that.
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| Posted 8/15/16 8:50 PM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: Making your child get a job
I had to find a job the day after I turned 16 and worked 2 jobs through high school. Your daughter only has a few weeks of summer left , so I wouldn't push it but I wouldn't pay for highlights either. I hope my kids do NOT have to work at 16. The types of jobs my friends and I had were sucky ones. Honestly, I could have done without the stress ,anxiety , and juggling with school at 16. No thanks. My Mom made me work for my cash, but I always really hated it. My DH on the other hand just volunteered on Saturday mornings. That's it and we went to the same college with the same major.
I would love for my kids to do the same. They can work in college if they want but they can also wait until college for a car. I personally don't want my 17-18 year olds driving at that point.
Everything I learned about finances, budgeting, and other life lessons happened toward the end and after college. I really feel that working during highschool was just a huge waste.
Message edited 8/15/2016 9:39:44 PM.
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| Posted 8/15/16 9:34 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Making your child get a job
Stick to your guns. No car. I would tell her she does not get to have a car until she can prove she is responsible. No more extras. No high lights, no trips, no spending money. She is 18 and has to start to figure out how the real world works.
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| Posted 8/15/16 9:40 PM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by MandJZ
So I'm going to offer maybe a slightly different perspective? That said, you and your daughter made a deal and I think you should stick to it, 100%. However, I don't think I would make my kids get a job in high school, other than a summer job.
My job in HS, according to my parents, was to get good grades. If my grades fell and I didn't ask for help in a timely manner, I lost privileges and luxuries. I did babysit, but not regularly. I had summer jobs as a camp counselor from 16 on, but beyond that I didn't work as a kid. But that was my parents' decision and they had the means to do it.
I didn't get a car until I was in college and had a 4.0 GPA after freshman year. I volunteered and babysat in college a bit, but also still only had summer jobs. That was how my family did things - school, grades, education was the kids' job. But again - that's what worked for our family.
You need to do what's right for your family, and what feels right to you as a parent. In this case it does sound like you need a bit tough with her.
Even though I worked at 16, I very much agree with this. I hope to have things this way for my children.
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| Posted 8/15/16 9:41 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by JennP
While every college is different, I do have a little bit of experience with the admissions process overall and what I have always understood is this: Unless a student is at an elite level in their sport or hobby, most schools are looking for accomplishment - or at least effort - in the volunteer/work area.
I am curious about this - I did not have a job at the time that I applied to any colleges and I got into almost every school I applied to, some of them elite. I was an above average student with very good math SAT scores and a LOT of extra curricular activities. My understanding way back then was that grades, SAT scores and extra curricular activities were most important. I have never heard of a college caring if the extra curricular was a job, sport, volunteer work or school club. My parents did not make or even encourage me to get any type of formal job and my only income was from babysitting, which clearly did not show up on any college applications.
Message edited 8/15/2016 10:44:48 PM.
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| Posted 8/15/16 10:26 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by MandJZ
Posted by JennP
Posted by MandJZ
So I'm going to offer maybe a slightly different perspective? That said, you and your daughter made a deal and I think you should stick to it, 100%. However, I don't think I would make my kids get a job in high school, other than a summer job.
My job in HS, according to my parents, was to get good grades. If my grades fell and I didn't ask for help in a timely manner, I lost privileges and luxuries. I did babysit, but not regularly. I had summer jobs as a camp counselor from 16 on, but beyond that I didn't work as a kid. But that was my parents' decision and they had the means to do it.
I didn't get a car until I was in college and had a 4.0 GPA after freshman year. I volunteered and babysat in college a bit, but also still only had summer jobs. That was how my family did things - school, grades, education was the kids' job. But again - that's what worked for our family.
You need to do what's right for your family, and what feels right to you as a parent. In this case it does sound like you need a bit tough with her.
Edited bc I quoted the wrong poster.
*******************
I am going to respectfully disagree with this.
While every college is different, I do have a little bit of experience with the admissions process overall and what I have always understood is this: Unless a student is at an elite level in their sport or hobby, most schools are looking for accomplishment - or at least effort - in the volunteer/work area.
Of course schoolwork should come first - that should go without saying. However, there are ways to make sure a students' hours are limited. That's what working papers are for, after all. Additionally, while a job should be the first thing to go if grades slip, that doesn't mean the effort shouldn't be made to get one. A student can always quit if necessary - and lose the spending money as a consequence for not keeping up grades.
Having said that, I think if a teenager can't find a job, they should at least volunteer. When a child is 16, they need to find a job and start to become responsible for at least some extras - highlights, etc. - or give them up if necessary.
But overall, I think there aren't a lot of legitimate reasons for a teen 16 plus not to work. Yes, even during the school year. High school gets out early. Yes, it could be a lot to juggle especially with sports and activities, but it'll be worth it in several ways.
That's fair, as a general rule. However as I said we did what worked for our family. My HS did not get out early - I went to a Jewish school and I was at school from 8-4:30 every day, and the school was about 20-25 min from home so by the time I was home it was 5pm. Between dinner, homework for a double courseload, showering...that was it. I didn't hang out with friends on school nights. I didn't have time for anything else.
I very much respect families where kids get jobs in high school. I think it's fantastic and teaches valuable lessons. But I was sharing why in my family growing up it wasn't part of what we did, and if my kids attend a similar type of school I'm not sure I'd insist on them getting a job either.
That said - community service hours were mandatory at my school (more than triple the hours required by public schools) so I did volunteer during the year.
Understood - those are some late days for high school. I got out at 1:55!
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| Posted 8/15/16 11:03 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by lululu
Posted by JennP
While every college is different, I do have a little bit of experience with the admissions process overall and what I have always understood is this: Unless a student is at an elite level in their sport or hobby, most schools are looking for accomplishment - or at least effort - in the volunteer/work area.
I am curious about this - I did not have a job at the time that I applied to any colleges and I got into almost every school I applied to, some of them elite. I was an above average student with very good math SAT scores and a LOT of extra curricular activities. My understanding way back then was that grades, SAT scores and extra curricular activities were most important. I have never heard of a college caring if the extra curricular was a job, sport, volunteer work or school club. My parents did not make or even encourage me to get any type of formal job and my only income was from babysitting, which clearly did not show up on any college applications.
My training on this (just so you know where I am coming from) actually came on two different fronts that concurred: I worked for a major test prep company that also did admissions consulting and I briefly worked in admissions as an undergrad when I was at NYU.
Admittedly, this is somewhat old information (attended college in the latter half of the 90s) but I can't think of any reason it would have changed much.
FWIW I think babysitting counts for a lot. College aside, it's also about the value of a dollar. Community service also brings something else to the table and it's nice to hear how many high schools require it. Mine did not. My friends and I were introduced to it through Catholic confirmation requirements.
Overall - and this is in general, not directed at anyone in particular - I can see how high school is a gray area but frankly college age students should be working for some type of pay, especially if they didn't in high school. No one should be getting their first pay check at 22 or later with everything handed to them prior to that.
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| Posted 8/15/16 11:19 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by JennP
Posted by lululu
Posted by JennP
While every college is different, I do have a little bit of experience with the admissions process overall and what I have always understood is this: Unless a student is at an elite level in their sport or hobby, most schools are looking for accomplishment - or at least effort - in the volunteer/work area.
I am curious about this - I did not have a job at the time that I applied to any colleges and I got into almost every school I applied to, some of them elite. I was an above average student with very good math SAT scores and a LOT of extra curricular activities. My understanding way back then was that grades, SAT scores and extra curricular activities were most important. I have never heard of a college caring if the extra curricular was a job, sport, volunteer work or school club. My parents did not make or even encourage me to get any type of formal job and my only income was from babysitting, which clearly did not show up on any college applications.
My training on this (just so you know where I am coming from) actually came on two different fronts that concurred: I worked for a major test prep company that also did admissions consulting and I briefly worked in admissions as an undergrad when I was at NYU.
Admittedly, this is somewhat old information (attended college in the latter half of the 90s) but I can't think of any reason it would have changed much.
FWIW I think babysitting counts for a lot. College aside, it's also about the value of a dollar. Community service also brings something else to the table and it's nice to hear how many high schools require it. Mine did not. My friends and I were introduced to it through Catholic confirmation requirements.
Overall - and this is in general, not directed at anyone in particular - I can see how high school is a gray area but frankly college age students should be working for some type of pay, especially if they didn't in high school. No one should be getting their first pay check at 22 or later with everything handed to them prior to that.
I babysat from age 13-16. In high school I had part time jobs in clothing stores but my parents paid for my necessities and my car and insurance. I only worked a few hours a week and my money was for my entertainment. In college, I ONLY worked in between semesters. I commuted and had a busy schedule and like another poster mentioned, my "job" was school. I didn't have time to work in college and I didn't need the added stress of a job. My parents also felt that as long as we were in school, working was secondary to our education. As for volunteering, I never did that and I had no issues getting accepted into college but maybe that's changed over the years.
When my kids are older I'll encourage them get a job just for the responsibility aspect of it however, I'd be okay with them just working in the summers or between semesters once in college. Their schoolwork should come first before working IMO.
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| Posted 8/16/16 5:19 AM |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Making your child get a job
So she got a job Yesturday. Not what I thought but now I can't complain about the amount of hours I'm assuming. My neighbor was looking for someone to pick her kids up from school 2-3 days a week and watch them for two hours. It's not alot of money or hours but now I know she won't get behind in her studies and have time for college hunting. I told her she needs to use her money for any extras like makeup concerts etc. it won't be enough for car insurance if she gets a job but I'm still unsure if she will even get the car.
I'm just glad she got a job and it's off the books. Now my husband says I should have her look for a babysitting job or weekend job as well.
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| Posted 8/16/16 6:32 AM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
Name:
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by MandJZ
So I'm going to offer maybe a slightly different perspective? That said, you and your daughter made a deal and I think you should stick to it, 100%. However, I don't think I would make my kids get a job in high school, other than a summer job.
My job in HS, according to my parents, was to get good grades. If my grades fell and I didn't ask for help in a timely manner, I lost privileges and luxuries. I did babysit, but not regularly. I had summer jobs as a camp counselor from 16 on, but beyond that I didn't work as a kid. But that was my parents' decision and they had the means to do it.
I didn't get a car until I was in college and had a 4.0 GPA after freshman year. I volunteered and babysat in college a bit, but also still only had summer jobs. That was how my family did things - school, grades, education was the kids' job. But again - that's what worked for our family.
You need to do what's right for your family, and what feels right to you as a parent. In this case it does sound like you need a bit tough with her.
I somewhat agree with this. As I stated in my earlier post, in sophomore year of HS my dd had a job at McDonalds for about a year. Towards the end, she started to become frazzled, stressed out and full of anxiety because of her AP course load. I suggested she quit because it just wasn't worth the aggravation. Her grades are important to her, and I respect that and agree.
However, she has never felt like she was entitled to certain luxuries like nails and highlights. She always understood that those were things you worked to pay for. She still babysits one night a week (for the same family going on three years) and this summer she is volunteering at Stony Brook Hospital once a week. If and when she is ready to drive, I would at least expect her to get a summer job to save some money toward the insurance.
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| Posted 8/16/16 7:29 AM |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by busymomonli
Posted by MandJZ
So I'm going to offer maybe a slightly different perspective? That said, you and your daughter made a deal and I think you should stick to it, 100%. However, I don't think I would make my kids get a job in high school, other than a summer job.
My job in HS, according to my parents, was to get good grades. If my grades fell and I didn't ask for help in a timely manner, I lost privileges and luxuries. I did babysit, but not regularly. I had summer jobs as a camp counselor from 16 on, but beyond that I didn't work as a kid. But that was my parents' decision and they had the means to do it.
I didn't get a car until I was in college and had a 4.0 GPA after freshman year. I volunteered and babysat in college a bit, but also still only had summer jobs. That was how my family did things - school, grades, education was the kids' job. But again - that's what worked for our family.
You need to do what's right for your family, and what feels right to you as a parent. In this case it does sound like you need a bit tough with her.
I somewhat agree with this. As I stated in my earlier post, in sophomore year of HS my dd had a job at McDonalds for about a year. Towards the end, she started to become frazzled, stressed out and full of anxiety because of her AP course load. I suggested she quit because it just wasn't worth the aggravation. Her grades are important to her, and I respect that and agree.
However, she has never felt like she was entitled to certain luxuries like nails and highlights. She always understood that those were things you worked to pay for. She still babysits one night a week (for the same family going on three years) and this summer she is volunteering at Stony Brook Hospital once a week. If and when she is ready to drive, I would at least expect her to get a summer job to save some money toward the insurance.
Thats my daughter,shes in AP classes and honors so I dont want her to fall behind but I feel she must contribute to any extras she gets at this point so I am ok with the 6 hours a week that she will do babysitting. I also told her now all extras are at a hault and the money she earns will have to use for it. I also said next summer she must work full time as well as getting work study job at college. Yes, alot is my fault, I let her get away with alot. I also struggled as a single mom for many years and didn't want her to feel like she didn't get anything. I have to change MY attitude really to make her change hers but I think shes starting to "get it".
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| Posted 8/16/16 9:27 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by rebeccamol
I have to change MY attitude really to make her change hers but I think shes starting to "get it".
Sticking to your guns and leading by example is so important.
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| Posted 8/16/16 9:30 AM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Making your child get a job
You are not wrong. You are being TOO nice in my opinion.
I got my working papers at 14 and worked for a summer youth program. I did that the following summer as well and when I turned 16 I started working at Burger King in my neighborhood because I wanted a cell phone.
You allowed her to have a fantastic Summer while also giving her a deadline to meet as far as getting papers and a job and if she hasn't met them, you have to put your foot down.
You mentioned she will be away at college next year..how is she going to live? She obviously needs a job but she is going to be a lost puppy if she doesn't learn how to be responsible for herself. You still have a year. She's gotta get her @ss in gear so she is prepared!
I'd revisit the car thing if she can hold a job for at least 6 months
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| Posted 8/16/16 9:39 AM |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by J9-13
You are not wrong. You are being TOO nice in my opinion.
I got my working papers at 14 and worked for a summer youth program. I did that the following summer as well and when I turned 16 I started working at Burger King in my neighborhood because I wanted a cell phone.
You allowed her to have a fantastic Summer while also giving her a deadline to meet as far as getting papers and a job and if she hasn't met them, you have to put your foot down.
You mentioned she will be away at college next year..how is she going to live? She obviously needs a job but she is going to be a lost puppy if she doesn't learn how to be responsible for herself. You still have a year. She's gotta get her @ss in gear so she is prepared!
I'd revisit the car thing if she can hold a job for at least 6 months
Last year with the ACT and SAT she didn't work but I should have made her get a job but she went on trips with my parents and enjoyed her summer but Now I realize I was to nice. New rules in our house. I do have her babysit my son and I don't pay her every so often through the years but I always had my ex watch my son until he passed. So I agree that we will revisit the car in a few months, at least for this job she doesn't need a car thankfully. She will live on campus when she is in school but she has to have a job. The college already discussed this with her when we looked at schools. I wish I didn't wait this long to put my foot down. Meanwhile my son is 12 and cant wait to get a job
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| Posted 8/16/16 9:58 AM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Making your child get a job
Posted by rebeccamol
Posted by J9-13
You are not wrong. You are being TOO nice in my opinion.
I got my working papers at 14 and worked for a summer youth program. I did that the following summer as well and when I turned 16 I started working at Burger King in my neighborhood because I wanted a cell phone.
You allowed her to have a fantastic Summer while also giving her a deadline to meet as far as getting papers and a job and if she hasn't met them, you have to put your foot down.
You mentioned she will be away at college next year..how is she going to live? She obviously needs a job but she is going to be a lost puppy if she doesn't learn how to be responsible for herself. You still have a year. She's gotta get her @ss in gear so she is prepared!
I'd revisit the car thing if she can hold a job for at least 6 months
Last year with the ACT and SAT she didn't work but I should have made her get a job but she went on trips with my parents and enjoyed her summer but Now I realize I was to nice. New rules in our house. I do have her babysit my son and I don't pay her every so often through the years but I always had my ex watch my son until he passed. So I agree that we will revisit the car in a few months, at least for this job she doesn't need a car thankfully. She will live on campus when she is in school but she has to have a job. The college already discussed this with her when we looked at schools. I wish I didn't wait this long to put my foot down. Meanwhile my son is 12 and cant wait to get a job
I know it must be hard because of course you want your kids to enjoy their summer! My opinion may come off as harsh only becuase I've always worked since I was legally allowed to. LOL. My kids are still little but I see so many send their kids off the college and they aren't prepared for what they are expected to do for themselves.
It sounds like you are ready to implement some changes for the coming year and I hope that everything works out so she can be more responsible! That's great for your son. This will set a great example for him in the future as well!
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| Posted 8/16/16 3:16 PM |
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