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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
For me it's not really the MOTHERHOOD part that is tough.
It's the sleep deprivation, working full time, cooking, keeping my house clean and laundry done, making time for DH as well as for myself that is hard. 
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Posted 9/30/09 10:36 AM  |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Yes and no.
Posted by Bxgell2
I felt that way when Alex was born - my whole world was turned upside down. One second I'm living MY life, going out to dinner, taking long walks in the park, meeting friends for dinner, taking vacations to exotic places, and just going wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
This was the hardest part of motherhood for me. This was exactly how I lived my life before DS - eating out, vacations, girls days at the spa, lounging and reading all weekend, etc.
Yes, everyone tells you that you have to sacrifice yourself and your needs and put this little person's first, but I never really realized that it meant that I would be basically giving up everything I use to do just for myself. I couldn't do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Even little things like drinking my morning cup of coffee, or taking a walk. everything centered around DS and his needs now. Mine didn't matter.
I actually found that the acts of motherhood (dealing with the colickiness, lack of sleep, separation anxiety, CIO) and everything else came easier than I expected, and pretty naturally.
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| Posted 9/30/09 10:46 AM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Posted by MikesWife
For me it's not really the MOTHERHOOD part that is tough.
It's the sleep deprivation, working full time, cooking, keeping my house clean and laundry done, making time for DH as well as for myself that is hard.
this minus the sleep deprivation for me!
Motherhood is better than i imagined! i love it! it's all the other stuff that is hard to juggle as a working mom.
laundry, food shopping, cooking, giving baths, making time for dh, and keeping the house organized the list goes on and on! but the motherhood part, amazing!
i think being a workign mom, makes me a better mom. i would love to be a sahm, but on the other hand, work allows me to shower in the morning, wear actual clothes, do things during my lunch break etc. i come thrilled to see dd! it recharges my battery to come home to a smiling happy baby.
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| Posted 9/30/09 11:32 AM |
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JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
Name:
Me!! All about ME!
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
You know...
It has always been said that the first year of marriage is hard. For me, it was an absolute piece of cake. Actually a bit too good to be true because while my friends were having a hard time adjusting to married life, I was smooth sailing. My marriage has only gotten better with time.
But motherhood.. Well, thats a different story altogether. This past year (my son is 13 1/2 months) was hard as hell. VERY hard. And my son is a good baby that hardly gave us any sleeping/eating problems. I have never in my life felt this exhausted all the time. I barely have any time for myself. And the time I DO mangage to scrape up, I end up feeling guilty that I'm not using that time to spend with my son. (Think: Cats in the cradle )
Motherhood for me has changed my life in so many ways, I cant even explain. Financially, it has been hard since we spend so much $$ for babysitting costs. Socially, I'm lucky if I see my friends once a month. Either I just dont have the time, or I dont have the money to spend going out drinking (not that I even care to do that anyway).
I have to plan my life around my sons sleeping schedule. Everywhere I go, I have to make sure his diaper bag is paked with everything he needs (or MAY need) and just leaving the house to run a quick errand is a mission. The laundry doubled. The cleaning doubled. By the time I finish cleaning one room in my house, I am exhaused. My Dh has been a saint, helping me in every way he can. However, he works 6 days a week (12 hour work days) so I try not to ask or expect too much from him.
However, as crazy motherhood has made my life, I wouldn't trade my baby in for anything. My life pre-baby was great, but this kid made it better. SO much better. His smile, his laugh.. even when he farts... everything about this kid amazes me to no end. I never knew I was capable of loving someone as much as I love him. So, with that said, I guess the ends justifies the means, kwim? All the crazyness & stress is well worth it.
So to answer the OP's question. Motherhood is harder than I expected, but it is also better than I expected. 
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| Posted 9/30/09 11:53 AM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Posted by Diana1215
I truly think at one point or another every mother feels this way.
We have some amazing days....and some amazingly hard days. You just never know what you're going to get when you wake up that morning.
I try to get out as much as possible, always like to keep us busy, otherwise we go stir crazy.
ITA!! Adding a sibling to the mix definitely adds to the challenge  I make it a point to get going everyday--hair, makeup, no sweats. It makes me feel better. Once you get into your routine you will find the time to do it  I always try to remind myself in the hard times how very blessed I am and that tomorrow is another day to accomplish more 
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| Posted 9/30/09 11:54 AM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
It's definitely more exhausting than I anticipated. What I didn't expect though was the constant WORRYING about everything. When they were younger, I worried about everything from SIDS to the consistency of their poo . I assumed it would be easier as they got older, but it seems like there's always something NEW to worry about. Now I worry about how they are faring in school...if they're making friends, if they're sharing, if they listen to their teachers, etc. I'm generally not one that worries about stuff, so these feelings definitely take me by surprise sometimes. I wouldn't change it for the world though!
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| Posted 9/30/09 12:14 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Pretty much felt the same way when my DS was that age. I am a lot older , almost 40 so I really feel shot most of the time. I still have a son who is up a lot most nights at 7 months old, a DD going through terrible twos, a full time job as a high school counselor with a caseload of 600, and a husband who is out of town half the month. Frankly, it is so hard I am amazed when they are both in bed and I have a second to breathe. I shouldn't even be on here right now- just squeezing it in at work since I am so desperate for me time.
Hang in there- most days, I find that I am getting a routine down, I finally don't smell like spoiled milk anymore(I weaned my son a few weeks ago ) and find the old me is slowly returning- she is just slightly wore out
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| Posted 9/30/09 12:29 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Posted by ME75
thanks all for your responses! interesting to see how it affects people differently.
i think adding my new baby into the mix with a toddler is just awfully hard these days! i know it's going to take some time,,,
It definately gets better! I have to say now that he can sit up, it is a million times easier. And nothing is cuter than watching your DD read him a book, or make him laugh harder than anyone else can. I cherish those moments and they are coming soon for you too
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| Posted 9/30/09 12:35 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Posted by nov04libride
i love being home w/ ds, and i don't mind being exhausted being home w/ him. it's the going back to work, working 2 jobs that i am dreading. i know i wont be doing ANYTHING well, and it kills me. so motherhood is as hard as i imagined, but juggling it w/ everything else is worse.
Totally agree- my current facebook quote is I hate having two full time jobs.
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| Posted 9/30/09 12:37 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
yes, definitely. I feel like it is just now getting a little easier - DD is communicating more and is less frustrated, she'll actually watch TV for a half hour straight, and is potty trained. Now that we are thinking of #2 I get scared b/c I feel like it took me 2 years to feel in control again. It's VERY VERY hard.
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| Posted 9/30/09 12:44 PM |
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karjules
Love my Jules :)
Member since 1/07 2056 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Actually for me the hardest thing is the pressure I put on myself to be a good Mom. I guess I never thought of the entertaining aspect of having a child. If I was off from work I just vegged. Now I feel like I am on the entertainment committee and need to be doing stuff with my DD. She doesn't really sit and play with toys and I often don't really know how to "play", that may sound weird but I never imagined I would be entertaining a child..not really sure what I thought
With that being said, I always make sure to shower, dress in a regular outfit (not sweats) and do my hair and a little makeup (if I am going out I do the makeup part). I find that makes me feel more like my old self. The weight came off fairly easy so that was good for me.
Once she started sleeping more at night I became much more sane!
Being a Mom is very rewarding, but even though I was around children all the time NOTHING compares to having your own  
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| Posted 9/30/09 9:11 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
it's harder in some ways, and easier in other ways.
i have my days where i wish, even for a fleeting moment, that i was single again, or childless, with the freedom to go where i want and do what i want.
but that's all it is - fleeting. all i have to do is think of my son (i love saying that - my SON) and i get a huge smile and flutters in my stomach and i can't imagine life without him.
i'll take all the hard times, no matter how hard. it's just so worth it.
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| Posted 9/30/09 9:21 PM |
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Posted by Mikismom
being a mother is by far, the hardest thing I have ever done
it is also the most rewarding 
So true. My favorite saying is
Being a mother is by far the hardest job I'll ever love.
Everyone's situation is different. I can only speak for myself.
There are times when I say to myself I CAN'T WAIT until they are older but even when they are older I'll be dealing with other issues and a ton of other crap to worry about. I'm sure when they are older I'll be wishing they were young again.
It's tough for me sometimes b/c I have very strong minded, determined and rambunctious little girls. They don't sit still for a minute nor do they want to listen but I love them to pieces and my heart aches when I am not with them.
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| Posted 9/30/09 10:01 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Posted by johnsae
yes, definitely. I feel like it is just now getting a little easier - DD is communicating more and is less frustrated, she'll actually watch TV for a half hour straight, and is potty trained. Now that we are thinking of #2 I get scared b/c I feel like it took me 2 years to feel in control again. It's VERY VERY hard.
That's exactly how I fell - well felt, and why I kept putting off TTC - it took me so long to feel somewhat in control again and now - I'm so scared to go back to the beginning again!
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| Posted 9/30/09 11:11 PM |
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JDsWife
LIF Infant
Member since 4/08 343 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Posted by MikesWife
For me it's not really the MOTHERHOOD part that is tough.
It's the sleep deprivation, working full time, cooking, keeping my house clean and laundry done, making time for DH as well as for myself that is hard.
I totally agree!
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| Posted 10/1/09 6:27 AM |
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mrsgafforio
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 3929 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
HELLZZ YEA... I'm beat and sometimes feel like my body is shutting down. Between working full time and then coming home to take care of DS and find time to get other things done...there aren't enough hours in the day 
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| Posted 10/1/09 6:42 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Yes. It's harder. Much harder. Easily the hardest thing I have ever done.
I have become a chef, a maid, a teacher, a chauffeur, a nanny, an accountant, a nurse and a psychologist.. all in one.
I have a fairly challenging full time job - on top of all of that. And honestly? It's a CAKE WALK by comparison.
But it's so worth it.
I know that I am a better human being than I ever was before them. I know that the depths of devotion I feel for those boys has expanded my capacity for love in unimaginable ways. I know that I am more mature than I would have been had I never chosen motherhood.
I am exhausted, I am stressed, I am fat, I am moving at the speed of light and I live with the knowledge that my life is completely contingent on the health and well being of 2 people outside of my own body... but I am whole and I am happy and I am grateful beyond measure.
Message edited 10/1/2009 8:44:00 AM.
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| Posted 10/1/09 8:37 AM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
It is a 1000 times harder than I imagined. The physical demands of "the job" surprised me. Getting up all night, carrying him around, not getting to eat...when I was pg I think I was in dreamland. It's taking me some time to adjust but we are making it work!
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| Posted 10/1/09 11:59 AM |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Yes, it is absolutely much harder than I thought. My twins are 7 months old, I work full-time, and I live out of state with NO family here to speak of. My house is always a mess. My eyebrows need a desparate wax. I still have carpal tunnel in both wrists from the pre-eclampsia. In a way, I dread the weekends because it is non-stop with the babies -- I almost look forward to going to work on Monday so I have a "break". Whatever you think is hard about having a baby, imagine twins. Imagine it with no family to help you. It's rough, it truly is. THANK GOD they STTN at 10 weeks, othersise, I don't know how I could have dealt with it.
I don't regret having children one tiny bit, my boys are beautiful and true blessings from God. Still, they are kicking my ARSE!
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| Posted 10/1/09 12:09 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
Posted by headoverheels
it's harder in some ways, and easier in other ways.
i have my days where i wish, even for a fleeting moment, that i was single again, or childless, with the freedom to go where i want and do what i want.
but that's all it is - fleeting. all i have to do is think of my son (i love saying that - my SON) and i get a huge smile and flutters in my stomach and i can't imagine life without him.
i'll take all the hard times, no matter how hard. it's just so worth it.
couldn't have said it better myself
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| Posted 10/1/09 12:23 PM |
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Preguntas
it's pretty precious
Member since 1/07 3839 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
It is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I have never kicked a serious drug addiction or hiked the entire Appalacian trail. Nor have I ever changed oil. Or finished a term paper. But still- very hard stuff. Very hard on my marriage at first. Very hard on my sanity, because all work and no sleep makes Lauren a dull bore. Very hard on my appearance, because before child, I was a lazy low maintenance slob. So you can imagine how hard it is to get to a gym now!
I always have wine in the house. That's nice for me.
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| Posted 10/5/09 4:56 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Motherhood...is it harder than you thought?
No, it's not harder than I thought but I had absolutely no illusions about motherhood. That's not to say that it's not very difficult - it is, but I'm better at it than I thought I would be and my DH is AMAZING and makes it so much easier on me.
I was also only sleep deprived for about 5 months and have figured out in the last year how to squeeze an extra hour here or there to get a pedicure or a hair cut. Makes a big difference.
I do get very nervous thinking about #2 and thinking of the nice routine we have going now.
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| Posted 10/5/09 5:29 PM |
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