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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by prunepie
isnt some money better than none??
i mean even if i CLEAR one thousand dollars a month..... thats food, utilities...etc...
Not to me.
And there are ways to cut corners to save money and make life a bit easier as well so that someone could stay home.
Just giving another perspective! We actually were a one car family until this year so we freed up an extra $600 (car payment and gas) so I could be home. It can be done!
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Posted 4/23/12 9:14 AM  |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
I am one of those who would NOT work even after clearing 18K. I just wouldn't. DH and I made a decision a long time ago that I would be the one with our kids all day, not a daycare. This is our own personal preference. Could an extra 18K help us out? SURE. But at the end of the day, it isn't worth it to us. The time I've had with my kids is priceless in my opinion.
And if money were very very tight (Which it usually is anyway, lol) I would prob watch another child at my home or get some kind of PT job..but it is also not the worst thing in the world for a guy to get a second job. PLENTY of men do it. Whether they are referees, coaches, do real estate on the side etc...I know so so many men who do this so their wives can be at home and they can live comfortably. It's not insane or unheard of. My grandfather worked 3 jobs so my grandmother could be home with 8 kids. Just how it was. It may not be for everyone, but I don't knock anyones decision to do so.
If anyone ever told me I should be working to add income to my family I'd be livid.
Would you have to work long hours if you decided to work? I just ask as I never felt I missed out on anything my kids did BUT I also have a 9-5 job and were 5 mins. away from them.
I would have prob had to work the same..9-5. It's just a personal comfort level thing. To ME, I couldn't imagine not being a SAHM. It was something I knew about myself way before I had kids, so when DH and I talked about it before trying for a baby, we both knew I'd be home. Just the way I am. Working and not being a SAHM would have been really really hard for me. I think every mom needs to do what works for her though. Believe me, many moms would look at my life and say "wow they get by on very little". I know we wish we had a slightly higher financial cushion, but DH does ok...and his goverment agency job has amazing benefits/retirement plan so that is reassuring!!
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| Posted 4/23/12 9:19 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by prunepie
isnt some money better than none??
i mean even if i CLEAR one thousand dollars a month..... thats food, utilities...etc...
Not to me.
And there are ways to cut corners to save money and make life a bit easier as well so that someone could stay home.
Just giving another perspective! We actually were a one car family until this year so we freed up an extra $600 (car payment and gas) so I could be home. It can be done!
I believe that it can be done BUT...for SOME, not ALL. We could not live on either of our salaries to pay all our bills and I want my dh to also have time with his children. I don't believe that only a mother should be the one raising children. I would not want my dh to work 2 jobs and barely see his children just so I could stay home. I would rather have less than many people, small home, less car payments, less things than to not see my dh and my kids barely know him. I also don't want to have to struggle just to stay home. I don't think that is worth it either.
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| Posted 4/23/12 9:21 AM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by prunepie
isnt some money better than none??
i mean even if i CLEAR one thousand dollars a month..... thats food, utilities...etc...
Not to me.
And there are ways to cut corners to save money and make life a bit easier as well so that someone could stay home.
Just giving another perspective! We actually were a one car family until this year so we freed up an extra $600 (car payment and gas) so I could be home. It can be done!
I believe that it can be done BUT...for SOME, not ALL. We could not live on either of our salaries to pay all our bills and I want my dh to also have time with his children. I don't believe that only a mother should be the one raising children. I would not want my dh to work 2 jobs and barely see his children just so I could stay home. I would rather have less than many people, small home, less car payments, less things than to not see my dh and my kids barely know him. I also don't want to have to struggle just to stay home. I don't think that is worth it either.
I totally hear what you're saying.
But its just so different for everyone. If I were to work, we would still be in the same exact situation. We MIGHT have maybe like $200 left after paying for childcare..certainly not worth it to us.
And while I think that a DH should see their kids often too, the reality is that for US if we in the position where it was either daycare, or me being a SAHM while DH worked 2 jobs, i'd still be a SAHM. Thats just the way we feel. I don't think there is anything wrong with daycare. It's just not something we wanted.
And its all relative. Plenty of 2 income families struggling day to day as well as one income families. And vice versa.
I also was fortunate to work PT from home for a few years after our first son was born...that extra $$ really helped us out. I would go back to that in a heartbeat if i needed to.
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| Posted 4/23/12 9:25 AM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by drpepper318
Well, I don't have kids, but I think if I were taking home 18K after paying for daycare, I'd still work. That money would help with other expenses. I don't know if I'd feel differently about wanting to stay home if I actually had kids though.
That's how it was for me. I have a doctorate and I didn't think in a million years id be a SAHM but then my kids came and it's all I wanted. Luckily, we could swing it. Everyone talks about keeping a work history with no gaps, 401k, what if dh leaves you, etc. It's all blah blah blah to me. This is what I want- to raise my children full time. If other people want to work that's super-for them. I'm not forfeiting the only thing in my life thus far that has really reaped honest pride and joy for me (day to day- obviously other things in my life make me happy too) bc of fears. Not for 18k or 150k. Now, that also doesn't mean that if we were piss poor and eating ramen three meals a day that I wouldn't start a job tomorrow. That is where the "worth it" aspect comes in for me. I wouldn't think it was worth it for me to stay home if the missing money was really hurting us. After all ftwm also raise their kids- it's not like throwing them to the lions- it's just less hours of being together and missing more. For each family it's different.
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| Posted 4/23/12 9:58 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by prunepie
isnt some money better than none??
i mean even if i CLEAR one thousand dollars a month..... thats food, utilities...etc...
Not to me.
And there are ways to cut corners to save money and make life a bit easier as well so that someone could stay home.
Just giving another perspective! We actually were a one car family until this year so we freed up an extra $600 (car payment and gas) so I could be home. It can be done!
I believe that it can be done BUT...for SOME, not ALL. We could not live on either of our salaries to pay all our bills and I want my dh to also have time with his children. I don't believe that only a mother should be the one raising children. I would not want my dh to work 2 jobs and barely see his children just so I could stay home. I would rather have less than many people, small home, less car payments, less things than to not see my dh and my kids barely know him. I also don't want to have to struggle just to stay home. I don't think that is worth it either.
But the article is not about having to work or not to support your family.
It is about what one sees as WORTH it! So the answser will vary indeed.
Some people will think YES and some people will think NO. There is no trying to convince someone that it's worth it if THEY don't feel the same. They don't and that's it!
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| Posted 4/23/12 10:15 AM |
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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
$18k would not be worth it for me to work.
I'd calculate it like this:
$18k per year would be ~$12k after taxes, giving me $1k per month.
If I were working 40hrs a week, that would be $6.25/hr.
I'd rather try to cut some more things from our budget than be away from my DCs during this time in their lives.
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| Posted 4/23/12 10:49 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by prunepie
isnt some money better than none??
i mean even if i CLEAR one thousand dollars a month..... thats food, utilities...etc...
Not to me.
And there are ways to cut corners to save money and make life a bit easier as well so that someone could stay home.
Just giving another perspective! We actually were a one car family until this year so we freed up an extra $600 (car payment and gas) so I could be home. It can be done!
I believe that it can be done BUT...for SOME, not ALL. We could not live on either of our salaries to pay all our bills and I want my dh to also have time with his children. I don't believe that only a mother should be the one raising children. I would not want my dh to work 2 jobs and barely see his children just so I could stay home. I would rather have less than many people, small home, less car payments, less things than to not see my dh and my kids barely know him. I also don't want to have to struggle just to stay home. I don't think that is worth it either.
I totally hear what you're saying.
But its just so different for everyone. If I were to work, we would still be in the same exact situation. We MIGHT have maybe like $200 left after paying for childcare..certainly not worth it to us.
And while I think that a DH should see their kids often too, the reality is that for US if we in the position where it was either daycare, or me being a SAHM while DH worked 2 jobs, i'd still be a SAHM. Thats just the way we feel. I don't think there is anything wrong with daycare. It's just not something we wanted.
And its all relative. Plenty of 2 income families struggling day to day as well as one income families. And vice versa.
I also was fortunate to work PT from home for a few years after our first son was born...that extra $$ really helped us out. I would go back to that in a heartbeat if i needed to.
I do agree it goes from family to family. I think unless my dh made enough money to pay all the bills and to have savings, I might stay at home. He thinks otherwise as he grew up with nothing and he wants the more comfortable life, the vacations every other year. Unless he was making millions he would not understand why I would not work, even for retirement money.
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| Posted 4/23/12 10:52 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by bdmom
$18k would not be worth it for me to work.
I'd calculate it like this:
$18k per year would be ~$12k after taxes, giving me $1k per month.
If I were working 40hrs a week, that would be $6.25/hr.
I'd rather try to cut some more things from our budget than be away from my DCs during this time in their lives.
$18,000 AFTER taxes
Message edited 4/23/2012 10:55:28 AM.
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| Posted 4/23/12 10:55 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Personally, I would not have kids if I knew that I had to work full time. Nothing would be worth the knowledge that someone else was raising my child. I'm very lucky to be self-employed with a flexible schedule that will allow me lots of time with my future child. If this wasn't the case, DH and I would not consider having children. This is not meant to knock anyone else's choices. It is just my personal feeling. So to answer the question, it would not be worth it to me to work for 18,000. Imo, no price tag can be placed on the value of being around for your child.
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| Posted 4/23/12 11:29 AM |
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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by bdmom
$18k would not be worth it for me to work.
I'd calculate it like this:
$18k per year would be ~$12k after taxes, giving me $1k per month.
If I were working 40hrs a week, that would be $6.25/hr.
I'd rather try to cut some more things from our budget than be away from my DCs during this time in their lives.
$18,000 AFTER taxes
If my DCs were in school or I could work less than 40hrs/week (ie be there for them when they get home), then I'd do it for $18k.
But working 8-5 everyday and having my kids spend most of their time in the care of others for less than $10/hr -- that's still not worth it to me.
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| Posted 4/23/12 11:34 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by MrsA1012
Personally, I would not have kids if I knew that I had to work full time. Nothing would be worth the knowledge that someone else was raising my child. I'm very lucky to be self-employed with a flexible schedule that will allow me lots of time with my future child. If this wasn't the case, DH and I would not consider having children. This is not meant to knock anyone else's choices. It is just my personal feeling. So to answer the question, it would not be worth it to me to work for 18,000. Imo, no price tag can be placed on the value of being around for your child.
I never felt like someone was raising my child or that I was never around my child. From the time I went back to work after maternity leave (since my kids are and were early risers) I would see them 3 hours in the morning and then 3-4 hours at night. All weekend long. All holidays, any days I had for vacation, sick, personal, early days off, etc.
Each situation is different but I never felt like I missed anything. Now as my kids are older I am not able to go to all the sports events but I will get off early once or twice (only 8 events in total) so I can see them.
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| Posted 4/23/12 11:38 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by MrsA1012
Personally, I would not have kids if I knew that I had to work full time. Nothing would be worth the knowledge that someone else was raising my child. I'm very lucky to be self-employed with a flexible schedule that will allow me lots of time with my future child. If this wasn't the case, DH and I would not consider having children. This is not meant to knock anyone else's choices. It is just my personal feeling. So to answer the question, it would not be worth it to me to work for 18,000. Imo, no price tag can be placed on the value of being around for your child.
I never felt like someone was raising my child or that I was never around my child. From the time I went back to work after maternity leave (since my kids are and were early risers) I would see them 3 hours in the morning and then 3-4 hours at night. All weekend long. All holidays, any days I had for vacation, sick, personal, early days off, etc.
Each situation is different but I never felt like I missed anything. Now as my kids are older I am not able to go to all the sports events but I will get off early once or twice (only 8 events in total) so I can see them.
It sounds like you were lucky enough to have a really good schedule. I know a lot of working moms who only get an hour per day ( on week days) with their DC. They've told me how painful that is for them.
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| Posted 4/23/12 11:42 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by MrsA1012
Personally, I would not have kids if I knew that I had to work full time. Nothing would be worth the knowledge that someone else was raising my child. I'm very lucky to be self-employed with a flexible schedule that will allow me lots of time with my future child. If this wasn't the case, DH and I would not consider having children. This is not meant to knock anyone else's choices. It is just my personal feeling. So to answer the question, it would not be worth it to me to work for 18,000. Imo, no price tag can be placed on the value of being around for your child.
I never felt like someone was raising my child or that I was never around my child. From the time I went back to work after maternity leave (since my kids are and were early risers) I would see them 3 hours in the morning and then 3-4 hours at night. All weekend long. All holidays, any days I had for vacation, sick, personal, early days off, etc.
Each situation is different but I never felt like I missed anything. Now as my kids are older I am not able to go to all the sports events but I will get off early once or twice (only 8 events in total) so I can see them.
It sounds like you were lucky enough to have a really good schedule. I know a lot of working moms who only get an hour per day ( on week days) with their DC. They've told me how painful that is for them.
I know I have been blessed with good schedule BUT we also don't have the things that other families have, bigger home, newer cars, large nest egg, etc.
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| Posted 4/23/12 12:17 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
I asked my dh about this, he said he would rather take on a second job then have me work FT for 18k a year. It's peace of mind for him knowing what the kids are doing all day. Everyone is different because I said I would work instead of dh needing 2 jobs
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| Posted 4/23/12 1:01 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by maybesoon
I asked my dh about this, he said he would rather take on a second job then have me work FT for 18k a year. It's peace of mind for him knowing what the kids are doing all day. Everyone is different because I said I would work instead of dh needing 2 jobs
How would you feel though if your dh missed out on seeing your kids by working a 2nd job?
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| Posted 4/23/12 1:11 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybesoon
I asked my dh about this, he said he would rather take on a second job then have me work FT for 18k a year. It's peace of mind for him knowing what the kids are doing all day. Everyone is different because I said I would work instead of dh needing 2 jobs
How would you feel though if your dh missed out on seeing your kids by working a 2nd job?
I would not like it , which is why I said I would go back to work. Dh basically said he would rather the kids not see him much then not see both of us. When he has off, woukd be time w the kids not errands, cleaning etc time. When he says it that way it makes sense.
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| Posted 4/23/12 1:40 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybesoon
I asked my dh about this, he said he would rather take on a second job then have me work FT for 18k a year. It's peace of mind for him knowing what the kids are doing all day. Everyone is different because I said I would work instead of dh needing 2 jobs
How would you feel though if your dh missed out on seeing your kids by working a 2nd job?
I think this is the reality for so many families already...
I don't think any family would sit there are say they were happy about a father missing out on a lot by working a second job....but my DH has said the same thing as maybesoons DH. That he would take a second job in a heartbeat if need be if it meant me being able to stay home.
Just because someone works a second job doesn't mean they will never see the kids. Of course it goes without saying that they would see the kids less, but for many families it works just because it means that the mom is home full time.
My SIL is a stay at home mom. Her husband works one job, but it might as well be two. He has to work ridiculous hours for his company (financial) plus saturdays most of the time. But he does all the extra hours so SIL can be home. It's what they wanted. The girls see him sat afternoon and sunday basically. It's not ideal, but for now, while the girls are little, its what works.
Hope this answer helps. I already told DH that i don't want him to HAVE to work a second job, but if it came down to the need, he would. I would hate him to miss out on time with the boys (he gets home at 4 every day now, we are spoiled!!) but we'd make it ok.
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| Posted 4/23/12 1:42 PM |
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Cacarina
Two girls!
Member since 12/09 2971 total posts
Name:
Cari
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Re: Not worth it to work?
It is worth it to work for me, even if I broke totally even. I say this because once my db is in full time school - I'll be likely making a higher salary and then we'd be in a really good financial position. I don't want to lose momentum in my career.
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| Posted 4/23/12 1:45 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by maybesoon
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybesoon
I asked my dh about this, he said he would rather take on a second job then have me work FT for 18k a year. It's peace of mind for him knowing what the kids are doing all day. Everyone is different because I said I would work instead of dh needing 2 jobs
How would you feel though if your dh missed out on seeing your kids by working a 2nd job?
I would not like it , which is why I said I would go back to work. Dh basically said he would rather the kids not see him much then not see both of us. When he has off, woukd be time w the kids not errands, cleaning etc time. When he says it that way it makes sense.
And again, it goes from family to family, person to person. My dh would rather spend more time with his children than work a 2nd job and have me home as I am not the only parent and since he didn't have a father growing up, he feels it is very important to kids to have one who is there. Errands can be done with the kids as can cleaning.
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| Posted 4/23/12 1:51 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybesoon
I asked my dh about this, he said he would rather take on a second job then have me work FT for 18k a year. It's peace of mind for him knowing what the kids are doing all day. Everyone is different because I said I would work instead of dh needing 2 jobs
How would you feel though if your dh missed out on seeing your kids by working a 2nd job?
I think this is the reality for so many families already...
I don't think any family would sit there are say they were happy about a father missing out on a lot by working a second job....but my DH has said the same thing as maybesoons DH. That he would take a second job in a heartbeat if need be if it meant me being able to stay home.
Just because someone works a second job doesn't mean they will never see the kids. Of course it goes without saying that they would see the kids less, but for many families it works just because it means that the mom is home full time.
My SIL is a stay at home mom. Her husband works one job, but it might as well be two. He has to work ridiculous hours for his company (financial) plus saturdays most of the time. But he does all the extra hours so SIL can be home. It's what they wanted. The girls see him sat afternoon and sunday basically. It's not ideal, but for now, while the girls are little, its what works.
Hope this answer helps. I already told DH that i don't want him to HAVE to work a second job, but if it came down to the need, he would. I would hate him to miss out on time with the boys (he gets home at 4 every day now, we are spoiled!!) but we'd make it ok.
I am just going by experience by seeing family members do this and I personally don't think it creates a strong bond with the father and the kids.
IME there is absolutely NO difference between a child that goes to daycare and one that stays home and when they start kindergarten you can not tell the difference.
I personally think parents should be there more when the kids get older and can get in more trouble.
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| Posted 4/23/12 1:54 PM |
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Here is my bottom line on this subject. Do whatever you want, but if you expect the government to give you financial assistance so you can be a SAHM, then I have an issue. Get a job and take care of your responsibilities. Children don't ask to be born and no one else should have to pay so you can sit home when you could be gainfully employed. 
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| Posted 4/23/12 2:02 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by cncforever
Here is my bottom line on this subject. Do whatever you want, but if you expect the government to give you financial assistance so you can be a SAHM, then I have an issue. Get a job and take care of your responsibilities. Children don't ask to be born and no one else should have to pay so you can sit home when you could be gainfully employed.
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| Posted 4/23/12 2:03 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybesoon
I asked my dh about this, he said he would rather take on a second job then have me work FT for 18k a year. It's peace of mind for him knowing what the kids are doing all day. Everyone is different because I said I would work instead of dh needing 2 jobs
How would you feel though if your dh missed out on seeing your kids by working a 2nd job?
I think this is the reality for so many families already...
I don't think any family would sit there are say they were happy about a father missing out on a lot by working a second job....but my DH has said the same thing as maybesoons DH. That he would take a second job in a heartbeat if need be if it meant me being able to stay home.
Just because someone works a second job doesn't mean they will never see the kids. Of course it goes without saying that they would see the kids less, but for many families it works just because it means that the mom is home full time.
My SIL is a stay at home mom. Her husband works one job, but it might as well be two. He has to work ridiculous hours for his company (financial) plus saturdays most of the time. But he does all the extra hours so SIL can be home. It's what they wanted. The girls see him sat afternoon and sunday basically. It's not ideal, but for now, while the girls are little, its what works.
Hope this answer helps. I already told DH that i don't want him to HAVE to work a second job, but if it came down to the need, he would. I would hate him to miss out on time with the boys (he gets home at 4 every day now, we are spoiled!!) but we'd make it ok.
I am just going by experience by seeing family members do this and I personally don't think it creates a strong bond with the father and the kids.
IME there is absolutely NO difference between a child that goes to daycare and one that stays home and when they start kindergarten you can not tell the difference.
I personally think parents should be there more when the kids get older and can get in more trouble.
Both my FIL and my dad worked 2 jobs while my MIL/ mom stayed home with us so to me and DH, this is normal. My dh and I are lucky he has the salary so we don't need 2 jobs. Dh and I are both very close to both of our parents.
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| Posted 4/23/12 3:44 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by maybesoon
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybesoon
I asked my dh about this, he said he would rather take on a second job then have me work FT for 18k a year. It's peace of mind for him knowing what the kids are doing all day. Everyone is different because I said I would work instead of dh needing 2 jobs
How would you feel though if your dh missed out on seeing your kids by working a 2nd job?
I think this is the reality for so many families already...
I don't think any family would sit there are say they were happy about a father missing out on a lot by working a second job....but my DH has said the same thing as maybesoons DH. That he would take a second job in a heartbeat if need be if it meant me being able to stay home.
Just because someone works a second job doesn't mean they will never see the kids. Of course it goes without saying that they would see the kids less, but for many families it works just because it means that the mom is home full time.
My SIL is a stay at home mom. Her husband works one job, but it might as well be two. He has to work ridiculous hours for his company (financial) plus saturdays most of the time. But he does all the extra hours so SIL can be home. It's what they wanted. The girls see him sat afternoon and sunday basically. It's not ideal, but for now, while the girls are little, its what works.
Hope this answer helps. I already told DH that i don't want him to HAVE to work a second job, but if it came down to the need, he would. I would hate him to miss out on time with the boys (he gets home at 4 every day now, we are spoiled!!) but we'd make it ok.
I am just going by experience by seeing family members do this and I personally don't think it creates a strong bond with the father and the kids.
IME there is absolutely NO difference between a child that goes to daycare and one that stays home and when they start kindergarten you can not tell the difference.
I personally think parents should be there more when the kids get older and can get in more trouble.
Both my FIL and my dad worked 2 jobs while my MIL/ mom stayed home with us so to me and DH, this is normal. My dh and I are lucky he has the salary so we don't need 2 jobs. Dh and I are both very close to both of our parents.
That is great. It is good to hear from someone who is close to both parents.
IMO spending only one day a week with a parent is not enough to have a full, bonding relationship. I had a SAHM but we did without a lot as my father did not make a ton of money and he would have never gotten a 2nd job. When he was growing up his father worked 3 jobs at one time. He did not want that for his children.
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| Posted 4/23/12 4:06 PM |
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