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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
Posted by pinkandblue
and I cringe when i think of how many people expect someone to sit on a filthy toilet while BF'ing...really cringe 
Well I agree with this and I don't BF. I think maybe they mean if there are couches in there or something? You know when they have the lounge area thingy?
It still does not sit well with me, but I see your point 
BF'ing is a natural thing, whether it makes people uncomfortable or not
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Posted 3/1/10 10:30 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by pinkandblue
...and I cringe when i think of how many people expect someone to sit on a filthy toilet while BF'ing...really cringe
You're right- I never considered that.
I don't think it's a woman's perogative to have her boob exposed in a public place with no cover. There should definitely be discretion in that sense.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:32 AM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by babybug631
But it doesn't help when other mothers have SUCH a problem with it.
i have every right as a mother to have a problem with it. and i personally have a problem with BFing uncovered in public. as goldi said, i don't know why people have to "educate" us as to why we are wrong about this because we are mothers. i don't have to like it and i don't. plain and simple.
i don't think mothers should be stopped from BFing in public, but i don't have to like seeing it uncovered. it's an uncomfortable feeling for many people.
if you want to do it, go for it, but don't expect everyone to like it or applaud you. (collective you). just because i'm a mom of 2 babies doesn't mean i have to support everything that other mothers do. and i don't expect other mothers to support all my decisions.
i don't know why people can't accept that some people are okay with seeing it and others are uncomfortable. since threads like this come up every month, that should say something. we don't need to convince each other that one side is right and one side is wrong. your opinion is your opinion and you have every right to it, as i have a right to mine.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:32 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
Posted by JennyPenny
Formula is very close nutrient wise to breast milk and we shouldn't have to try if we are uncomfortable with it, or have other issues that make us unable to.
I agree Jenny. I don't feel the least bit bad that I didn't BF. I didn't try to or want to. I personally don't necessarily believe BF is best, no matter what the recommendation is. I have read studies that go BOTH ways re what the positives and even negatives are. But that's a whole different topic and debate that I don't think we should get into for similar reasons such as this one always going sour.
As for not BF, my child is just as healthy, strong, growing and smart as anyone else's, regardless of BF or FF.
The debate here is not whether BM or formula is better, it is whether women who do breast feed should be able to do so in public, without judgement.
Both of you (Jenny and Goobster) claim that you should not be judged made to feel bad because you choose to formula feed. You shouldn't get looks of disdain or made to fee you are doing something inappropriate when you take out a bottle in the mall or a restaurant and give your baby a the formula that gives that baby nourishment and comfort. So why should a mother who puts her baby on the breast to get that same nourishment and comfort not be treated with the same respect?
You both have the same goal - to feed your baby. Does it matter how the baby is getting that life sustaining food, or that the baby is getting that food?
Our society has this warped sense of puritanism and exhibitionism at the same time. The puritanical in us does not want to see the breast being used for feeding a baby because the breast is a sexual object and should be covered.
But at the same time, as a society we don't bat an eye at the barely-there clothing worn by many women on a summer day.
In the end, if you, a woman wants to breast feed in public, then do it. Do it covered, uncovered, how ever you feel the most comfortable and however your baby will get the food he or she needs.
And if you, as an outside observer, don't like what you see, then don't look. Even if a woman has her entire breast exposed - no you don't need to look. Maybe you catch a glimpse of nipple as the baby moves or fusses, but still, why are you looking if you don't like it? You wouldn't be looking at a woman feeding a bottle like that. You have the right to think whatever you want about it, but keep your looks and your opinions to yourself.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:32 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
I honestly have no issue with it. Covered or uncovered. Its natural and its a shame people make the mom or women feel like a criminal for doing it! Its sad how uptight our society is. And yet, getting pregnant at 16 is a hot show on TV. Sad all the way around!
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:33 AM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
I Exclusively breastfeed, 6 months now.
I don't bf in public. I dont bf at family gatherings.
I'm not comfortable with it & don't want to make anyone else uncomfortable either.
I bring bottles of pumped milk or excuse myself to another room, dressing rooms, car.
I dont mind bf in public if you cover up.
I dont think you should just whip out a boob. Honestly, I dont understand why you would want to. But that is just me.
I dont think your right to do something, should infringe on another's right.
I think everone has the right to eat at a restaurant without a boob staring you in the face.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:33 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by SweetTooth
The debate here is not whether BM or formula is better, it is whether women who do breast feed should be able to do so in public, without judgement.
You have the right to think whatever you want about it, but keep your looks and your opinions to yourself.
I think Jenny and I both do that. Neither of us ever said we would comment or do anything other than look away. But we are discussing here what the OP asked us to do.
And as for the formula comment, Jenny was replying to someone else on here stating they felt bad that formula was invented. So we are replying to that as well b/c that is a harsh statement to make.
Message edited 3/1/2010 10:38:51 AM.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:35 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by browneyedgirl
i don't know why people can't accept that some people are okay with seeing it and others are uncomfortable. .
I accept that but I do not think it should hinders the BF'ing mom ability to do it....
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:35 AM |
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MeganMylo
LIF Adult
Member since 2/09 1128 total posts
Name:
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Nope it's just me and Joey, Joe has to work. I am going down before the rest of my siblings and leaving after them. So We are flying down just us. I am getting more and more nervous about it.
Side note, the last time I saw B, I had Joey in a wrap, and he asked if I was feeding her, I said "Naaa I haven't gotten used to BFing in front of other people yet." He said "Oh you will, and don't worry so will everyone else" I thought, "yay! Marie trained him well"
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:36 AM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by sleepie76
.
I dont think your right to do something, should infringe on another's right.
What rights of others are "we" infringing on when we BF in public??
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:37 AM |
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MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!
Member since 8/07 8806 total posts
Name:
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by pinkandblue
I will never understand why people are so concerned with what others do
don't want to see a flash of boob, look away, it is so simple
if the mother wants to let her boob hang out in public that is her perogative
and I cringe when i think of how many people expect someone to sit on a filthy toilet while BF'ing...really cringe
I agree 100%! Has anyone been to a public restroom lately?
On a sidenote, I think I'd be more annoyed if a BF mother was hogging up the bathroom. What if I really have to pee? 
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:39 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by MrsP747
Posted by sleepie76
.
I dont think your right to do something, should infringe on another's right.
What rights of others are "we" infringing on when we BF in public??
I guess the right not to see exposed body parts while out and about, etc, parts we would generally not see in public.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:39 AM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by MeganMylo
Nope it's just me and Joey, Joe has to work. I am going down before the rest of my siblings and leaving after them. So We are flying down just us. I am getting more and more nervous about it.
Side note, the last time I saw B, I had Joey in a wrap, and he asked if I was feeding her, I said "Naaa I haven't gotten used to BFing in front of other people yet." He said "Oh you will, and don't worry so will everyone else" I thought, "yay! Marie trained him well"
  
Yup...i think I finally have him trained!! He's gotten used to me feeding Frankie whenever and wherever he needs!!
And you'll be fine when you go! I've flown with Frankie alone more times than I can count!
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:40 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
Posted by SweetTooth
The debate here is not whether BM or formula is better, it is whether women who do breast feed should be able to do so in public, without judgement.
You have the right to think whatever you want about it, but keep your looks and your opinions to yourself.
I think Jenny and I both do that. Neither of us ever said we would comment or do anything other than look away. But we are discussing here what the OP asked us to do.
And as for the formula comment, Jenny was replying to someone else on here stating they felt bad that formula was invented. So we are replying to that as well b/c that is a harsh statement to make.
I realized after I wrote this that I started off directing my question to you and Jenny, but then ended with the general "you," but didn't clarify.
Sorry about that!
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:40 AM |
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ARIELSMOM
Love my Babes
Member since 8/05 5889 total posts
Name:
MEREDITH
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
As long as you are covered its fine. sometimes there can be exposure while getting set up, so as long as your cogniscent of what/who is around you. i see nothing wrong with it
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:40 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by browneyedgirl
Posted by babybug631
But it doesn't help when other mothers have SUCH a problem with it.
i have every right as a mother to have a problem with it. and i personally have a problem with BFing uncovered in public. as goldi said, i don't know why people have to "educate" us as to why we are wrong about this because we are mothers. i don't have to like it and i don't. plain and simple.
i don't think mothers should be stopped from BFing in public, but i don't have to like seeing it uncovered. it's an uncomfortable feeling for many people.
if you want to do it, go for it, but don't expect everyone to like it or applaud you. (collective you). just because i'm a mom of 2 babies doesn't mean i have to support everything that other mothers do. and i don't expect other mothers to support all my decisions.
i don't know why people can't accept that some people are okay with seeing it and others are uncomfortable. since threads like this come up every month, that should say something. we don't need to convince each other that one side is right and one side is wrong. your opinion is your opinion and you have every right to it, as i have a right to mine.
This is well said IMO. Thank you for making this clearer than I apparently can.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:41 AM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by SweetTooth
Both of you (Jenny and Goobster) claim that you should not be judged made to feel bad because you choose to formula feed. You shouldn't get looks of disdain or made to fee you are doing something inappropriate when you take out a bottle in the mall or a restaurant...
...You have the right to think whatever you want about it, but keep your looks and your opinions to yourself.
I wrote this in a previous post Posted by JennyPenny
I do not want to offend anyone. I would NEVER leer, make comments or looks of disgust at a BFing woman. I DO look the other way and try not to even accidently look again. I say to each her own- some like it, some don't.
I absolutely do not give nursing mothers dirty looks and I already said so. And as for your nasty comment about keeping my opinions to myself- I refuse to do so- especially when SPECIFICALLY ASKED TO GIVE ONE in the OP.
I am uncomfortable with it and it's attitudes like yours that don't even make me WANT to try to be more accepting of it.
Message edited 3/1/2010 10:46:13 AM.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:44 AM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by conigs25
As a BF mom, i so wish our society was more open to moms BFing in public. I was watching an episode of THE DOCTORS and thet were discussing it and some people on the panel (inc women) were against women BFing in public.
what are your thoughts?
lets try not to flame peoples opinions. just want to hear honest thoughts
I BF DD for 11 months and hopefully our next DC will take to it as well. I did not BF in public regularly b/c I was not comfortable with it, but I have no problem with another woman doing this if she is ok with it.
For as far back as I can remember I have NEVER seen an exposed breast on a woman feeding her child in public. Is this why people are against it? The nudity issue? If it is, I don't really see it as an issue b/c in my experience I have never seen a woman not be discreet. If I notice a BFing mom, I say "Oh she is BF, that is great" and look away. I am not sitting there staring waiting to see if I can catch a peek of something.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:47 AM |
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JenBenMen
party of five
Member since 9/06 11343 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
I think it should be accepted and open and public....it is NOT sexual....it is FEEDING A BABY
When I visited Italy 2 years ago boobs were popping out everywhere....its should be the same here
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:49 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by JennyPenny
I am uncomfortable with it and it's attitudes like yours that don't even make me WANT to try to be more accepting of it.
I think that Jenny makes a good point here.
I am going to say something that *I* think and some may want to flame me but I will say it.
I *think* some women want to push the envelope, want to make others feel uncomfortable to prove they have "legal rights". Now I don't know each one of you, and what you do, but I do think BF in public becomes sort of a power trip to some. Yes, some, some become militant about the rest of us HAVING to accept it b/c it is their legal right. And that is where I find distaste in it. Feed your baby, be as discreet as you can be without being blatent in making others feel uncomfortable. Again, I am not referring to anyone on here, I dont know what you do or dont do. But I see a trend here, that some BF totally accept other's level of discomfort and respect that, while still BF their baby as they need to. And others actually seem to want to push the envelope with it, with a blantant disregard for the fact that not everyone wants to see an exposed boob in public. That to me is what is wrong. You cannot expect everyone to want to see your nipples or boobs in pubic, please accept that.
Message edited 3/1/2010 10:51:41 AM.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:50 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
if you see my boobie fly
and the milk gets in your eye
look away
baby, look away....
I don't have time for this pathetic drama. I breast feed in public and I cover myself for the sake of those around me b/c I get that some people for whatever reason, don't approve.
however, if I didn't have a cover up and my son was hungry, you'd have to DEAL with the .25 seconds of my nipple in your face.
as for "suggesting" other places to go, please consider that as a mother my SON comes first. and I've thought of every possible other place to do it besides under your grossed out/judgmental face.
how many of you would let your dc SIT on the bowl in a public restroom let alone take his/her lunch in there to eat?
it's the same thing.
I know girls what whip there tits out for something as stupid as BEADS or a cameo in a cheesy spring break movie.
oh but that's right, sexualized breasts are A_OK. just don't go do something as disgusting as feeding your baby with them.
Message edited 3/1/2010 10:55:01 AM.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:52 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by JennyPenny
Posted by SweetTooth
Both of you (Jenny and Goobster) claim that you should not be judged made to feel bad because you choose to formula feed. You shouldn't get looks of disdain or made to fee you are doing something inappropriate when you take out a bottle in the mall or a restaurant...
...You have the right to think whatever you want about it, but keep your looks and your opinions to yourself.
I wrote this in a previous post Posted by JennyPenny
I do not want to offend anyone. I would NEVER leer, make comments or looks of disgust at a BFing woman. I DO look the other way and try not to even accidently look again. I say to each her own- some like it, some don't.
I absolutely do not give nursing mothers dirty looks and I already said so. And as for your nasty comment about keeping my opinions to myself- I refuse to do so- especially when SPECIFICALLY ASKED TO GIVE ONE in the OP.
I am uncomfortable with it and it's attitudes like yours that don't even make me WANT to try to be more accepting of it.
I apologized for the confusion a few posts above, please read.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:56 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Ophelia
I know girls what whip there tits out for something as stupid as BEADS or a cameo in a cheesy spring break movie.
oh but that's right, sexualized breasts are A_OK. just don't go do something as disgusting as feeding your baby with them.
I don't think that is ok. I wouldn't want my DD over exposing her breasts when she gets older for any reason. If my DD decided to BF, I would want my DD to keep her boobs and feeding her baby as private as possible when it comes to onlookers. It's a private thing to me. It's intimate to me and therefore deserves privacy.
Maybe it becomes nonchalant to those who BF their child, but seeing other's boobs is not commonplace or nonchalant to most of society (and me). And I don't prefer it become that way either.
Message edited 3/1/2010 10:58:37 AM.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:56 AM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
Posted by JennyPenny
I am uncomfortable with it and it's attitudes like yours that don't even make me WANT to try to be more accepting of it.
I think that Jenny makes a good point here.
I am going to say something that *I* think and some may want to flame me but I will say it.
I *think* some women want to push the envelope, want to make others feel uncomfortable to prove they have "legal rights". Now I don't know each one of you, and what you do, but I do think BF in public becomes sort of a power trip to some. Yes, some, some become militant about the rest of us HAVING to accept it b/c it is their legal right. And that is where I find distaste in it. Feed your baby, be as discreet as you can be without being blatent in making others feel uncomfortable. Again, I am not referring to anyone on here, I dont know what you do or dont do. But I see a trend here, that some BF totally accept other's level of discomfort and respect that, while still BF their baby as they need to. And others actually seem to want to push the envelope with it, with a blantant disregard for the fact that not everyone wants to see an exposed boob in public. That to me is what is wrong. You cannot expect everyone to want to see your nipples or boobs in pubic, please accept that.
I have to disagree with you here! Why would any woman purposefully want to have her full boob exposed! I think its without saying that most woman try to be discreet! But with that said, sometimes its impossible, whether its the baby doesn't want to be covered, or they come off unexpectablly- oops! Shittt happens and there's time when we may be exposed more than we'd like to be, but it's gonna be a cold day in hellll before I'll be made to feel like I HAVE to go to a public restroom to feed my child or not be able to go out at all and be confined to my house because I may offend someone!
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:57 AM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
Posted by MrsP747
What rights of others are "we" infringing on when we BF in public??
I guess the right not to see exposed body parts while out and about, etc, parts we would generally not see in public.
That's not a "right", it's something that is taken for granted. It's legal to BF in public. As a matter of fact, I remeber several years ago it became legal to go topless in certain places because men also have the option of not wearing shirts, but I digress (and that's just crazy talk, lol).
I never felt comfortable bfing in public but I'm all for it. I intend to get a nursing cover for this baby, but if he turns out to be one who hates to have a blanket over his head, so be it. Feeding my child is more important to me than anyone's personal comfort level.
I can appreciate that people don't always feel comfortable seeing it. The first time I saw a woman BFing in public I was 19 and working in Kids R Us (so long ago!) and it was VERY shocking. But at the end of the day it wasn't about me or how I felt gawking at this woman... it was time for that baby to eat and the lady was where she was.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:58 AM |
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