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munchkinbugs
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Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
I guess porn and playboy are multi million dollar industries for no reason then. I don't think I am stretching at all. 
Are there BFing woman in porn and playboy??
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Posted 2/28/10 11:03 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Goobster
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:)
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by babybug631
Posted by Goobster
I guess porn and playboy are multi million dollar industries for no reason then. I don't think I am stretching at all.
Are there BFing woman in porn and playboy??
Again, read what was wrote. She commented about men not being able to look away when a breast is exposed and how that is a stretched statement. Hence if men not being so interested in looking at breasts was so uncommonplace, playboy and porn would not be multi billion dollar industries that they are.
Again, breasts are breasts whether they are used for sexual purposes or to feed a child. You cannot expect everyone to be able to separate the two, just b/c a BF mother can separate the two (and some even admit they too cannot seperate the two).
I have a male friend who said he had a hard time having sex with his GF after he saw a baby being born (worked in a hospital). Some people cannot separate the fact that some body parts they ONLY used for sexual purposes for years and years ALSO function for other purposes (which are the intended purposes realistically). You cannot expect everyone to see things as YOU do when everyone has different life experiences and different upbringings.
Message edited 2/28/2010 11:17:14 PM.
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| Posted 2/28/10 11:06 PM |
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MeganMylo
LIF Adult
Member since 2/09 1128 total posts
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by babybug631
The invention of formula has helped fuel that, because now women can feed their babies without having to whip out their boobs.
But it doesn't help when other mothers have SUCH a problem with it.
ITA and it makes me sad. 
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| Posted 2/28/10 11:10 PM |
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Goobster
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:)
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by MeganMylo
Posted by babybug631
The invention of formula has helped fuel that, because now women can feed their babies without having to whip out their boobs.
But it doesn't help when other mothers have SUCH a problem with it.
ITA and it makes me sad.
Do you mean it makes you sad that formula was invented?
Not everyone is able to BF, even if they want to. What should those babies be fed?
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| Posted 2/28/10 11:12 PM |
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MeganMylo
LIF Adult
Member since 2/09 1128 total posts
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
Posted by MeganMylo
Posted by babybug631
The invention of formula has helped fuel that, because now women can feed their babies without having to whip out their boobs.
But it doesn't help when other mothers have SUCH a problem with it.
ITA and it makes me sad.
Do you mean it makes you sad that formula was invented?
Not everyone is able to BF, even if they want to. What should those babies be fed?
Not at all, I am very sad for the woman who wanted to BF and couldn't and I am glad they have that option. I am however sad that people are even now less accepting of BFing because formula feeding is so common place.
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| Posted 2/28/10 11:15 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
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Lisa
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
Posted by babybug631
Posted by Goobster
I guess porn and playboy are multi million dollar industries for no reason then. I don't think I am stretching at all.
Are there BFing woman in porn and playboy??
Again, read what was wrote. She commented about men not being able to look away when a breast is exposed and how that is a stretched statement. Hence if men not being so interested in looking at breasts was so uncommonplace, playboy and porn would not be multi billion dollar industries that they are.
Again, breasts are breasts whether they are used for sexual purposes or to feed a child. You cannot expect everyone to be able to separate the two, just b/c a BF mother can separate the two (and some even admit they too cannot seperate the two).
Men find MANY things about women attractive. Legs for example. True, they are not considered private. But should I cover them up because a man might stare at them?
Or should I not wear a bikini to the beach because a man might stare at my cleavage and my azz?
You're arguement is that men are going to look at a BFing breast as a sexual thing. When really, EVERYTHING about us is sexual to a man.
I would think, if anything, that at that very moment, when a woman is BFing...that same man is better off checking out the cute girl with the tight tank top over a boob with a baby on it.
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| Posted 2/28/10 11:17 PM |
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Goldi0218
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Leslie
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by babybug631
I see people dressed inapproriately ALL THE TIME. Do I stare at those people??? Absolutely not. But I see things I don't want to see, I look away. It's simple. Just don't look. Do I want to see some womans boob? No. So I don't look.
It is EXACTLY that simple for me. What I resent is when people (either on LIF or otherwise) try to school me or indoctrinate me on how they think society should be in this regard. Again, if you are gonna do it, do it but I don't have to love it. I'll be turning around and minding my own business.
I BF'd and I REALLY did not want to but I knew it was the best thing for my child particularly because she was a NICU baby and felt she could use any and all protection that BFing could and would provide for her. Abby deserved the best I could give. I went as long as I could and maybe ONCE did I do it in front of a group of people in a semi-public place and I was VERY uncomfortable. Yeah I know it was my own hang up but that is my business. We both developed thrush which was unhealthy for her and EXCRUCIATING for me so I had to stop. Any and everytime I had to go out with her before I stopped, I ALWAYS carried BM in bottles in a cooler because I did NOT like BFing in front of strangers.
Truth be told, when it is time for our second child, I may simply pump because BFing was simply a horrible and miserable experience for me. Frankly, I'd rather spend quality time with my child then stressing over my hang-ups.
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| Posted 2/28/10 11:19 PM |
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Goobster
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Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
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:)
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by babybug631
I would think, if anything, that at that very moment, when a woman is BFing...that same man is better off checking out the cute girl with the tight tank top over a boob with a baby on it.
And I am sure that same dude is doing that too.
As for your comment about legs, we all have legs, and no matter what our ages, we expose our legs.
Think of it this way, would you feel equally upset if your DC was in school and they came home and said their classmate touched their leg or their "private parts"? Let's be realistic when we talk about what people really consider private parts on their body. Private parts are parts we NORMALLY keep covered and not normally ok for everyone and or anyone to see or touch.
If my DH thought my big toe was sexy, I highly doubt he would expect I don't wear flip flops. Let's be realistic regarding this topic of breasts, normally covered body parts, possibly being exposed when people aren't expecting to see them, b/c that is the bottom line.
Message edited 2/28/2010 11:25:50 PM.
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| Posted 2/28/10 11:22 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by MeganMylo
Posted by Goobster
Posted by MeganMylo
Posted by babybug631
The invention of formula has helped fuel that, because now women can feed their babies without having to whip out their boobs.
But it doesn't help when other mothers have SUCH a problem with it.
ITA and it makes me sad.
Do you mean it makes you sad that formula was invented?
Not everyone is able to BF, even if they want to. What should those babies be fed?
Not at all, I am very sad for the woman who wanted to BF and couldn't and I am glad they have that option. I am however sad that people are even now less accepting of BFing because formula feeding is so common place.
I agree.
We NEED formula. No doubt about it.
But there are so many woman out there that won't even TRY BFing because they know they can feed their babies formula. Most of my friends FF their babies. There's nothing wrong with it. DD was FF for the 1st 2 days of her life. But she got gassy, so I pushed myself to BF, for her sake.
BFing can be hard, and is not for everyone. However, since so many mothers do FF, it kind of separates the BFing moms. And then people are just like "well she choose to BF, so she should go hide in a closet to feed her baby" type of thing. It's not fair.
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| Posted 2/28/10 11:24 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
Posted by babybug631
I would think, if anything, that at that very moment, when a woman is BFing...that same man is better off checking out the cute girl with the tight tank top over a boob with a baby on it.
And I am sure that same dude is doing that too.
As for your comment about legs, we all have legs, and no matter what our ages, we expose our legs.
Think of it this way, would you feel equally upset if your DC was in school and they came home and said their classmate touched their leg or their "private parts"? Let's be realistic when we talk about what people really consider private parts on their body. Private parts are parts we NORMALLY keep covered and not normally ok for everyone and or anyone to see or touch.
If my DH thought my big toe was sexy, I highly doubt he would expect I don't wear flip flops. Let's be realistic regarding this topic of breasts, normally covered body parts, possibly being exposed when people aren't expecting to see them, b/c that is the bottom line.
We're not talking about touching. We are talking about looking.
If a man LOOKED at my legs or LOOKED at my boobs in a bikini, to me, it's about equal. And by looking I mean obvious, looking up and down checking me out.
A BFing woman is not walking around with both her breasts hanging out nipples and all. There's a baby covering about 3/4 of it. More than most bikini tops, or tank tops for that matter.
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| Posted 2/28/10 11:32 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
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:)
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by babybug631
Posted by Goobster
Think of it this way, would you feel equally upset if your DC was in school and they came home and said their classmate touched their leg or their "private parts"? Let's be realistic when we talk about what people really consider private parts on their body. Private parts are parts we NORMALLY keep covered and not normally ok for everyone and or anyone to see or touch.
.
We're not talking about touching. We are talking about looking.
If a man LOOKED at my legs or LOOKED at my boobs in a bikini, to me, it's about equal. And by looking I mean obvious, looking up and down checking me out.
A BFing woman is not walking around with both her breasts hanging out nipples and all. There's a baby covering about 3/4 of it. More than most bikini tops, or tank tops for that matter.
Again you are missing the point. Of course we aren't talkng about touching. But I am trying to simply illustrate the point that certain parts are OFF limits for reasons being that they are private. Bottom line.
I am sorry I can't agree with you. I find quite a difference of someone looking at my legs over my boobs. I would walk around in shorts around my mom and dad but I would not walk around in a SKIMPY bathing suit (not a regular normal covered one) or bra/underwear around them. But hey, that's just me. That's why we are all different.
Message edited 3/1/2010 12:00:07 AM.
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| Posted 2/28/10 11:38 PM |
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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
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Jeannine
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
Posted by babybug631
Posted by Goobster
I guess porn and playboy are multi million dollar industries for no reason then. I don't think I am stretching at all.
Are there BFing woman in porn and playboy??
Again, read what was wrote. She commented about men not being able to look away when a breast is exposed and how that is a stretched statement. Hence if men not being so interested in looking at breasts was so uncommonplace, playboy and porn would not be multi billion dollar industries that they are.
Actually I was thinking the exact same thing as babybug. I think your average man can tell the difference between a child nursing a a sexy layout in playboy. I think if a guy gets so turned on by Bfing that he "can't look away" he has major freaking issues and probably should be speaking to a therapist.
I do think you are stretching, I think you enjoy being argumentative. I find it funny that you keep telling others "to be realistic" yet you are being anything but realistic.
I get it, you are uncomfortable with it, so it goes. I don't care if people are uncomfortable, I do my part by being discreet, but really when my son is refusing to cover up and doesn't want to eat under a blanket I don't force him. If people can't handle seeing the 5mm of skin exposed that isn't my issue.
I'm not going to get up and walk away if someone is giving me the "eye" if I am breastfeeding, eating pizza or whatever. If I felt threatened, I'd call the police. I have never felt threatened.
I have breastfed in public numerous time, more than I can count and only TWICE have I ever had someone react in a semi-negative way. One time I got a dirty look and the person moved to a table far away from me (even though I was covered and he could not see a thing) the other time I was "scolded" because it was "too hot to have a baby under a blanket". You can't please everyone.
I am going to move on from this "debate" because it is just going in circles and not really accomplishing anything. Bottom Line. 
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| Posted 2/28/10 11:46 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by NinaLemon
I do think you are stretching, I think you enjoy being argumentative. I find it funny that you keep telling others "to be realistic" yet you are being anything but realistic.
Now now. No personal attacks. As Goldi pointed out, those of us who are more reserved on the subject are always challenged for stating what we feel. But when I explain those thoughts, that makes me arguementative but not you (when you are the one challenging my reasons for feeling what I/we do)? And whether I am being realistic or not is simply YOUR opinion. Actually I think I am being quite realistic about another part of society and what they/we think, that you can't seem to accept b/c it is not what you feel and think in "your world".
I get it though, we can only converse about BF in public if we rally with you and list the places we have done it. See your most recent thread about where people have BF in public, which was started way before this one existed. It's obviously a topic you like to discuss....but only provided everyone thinks exactly what you do. For the context of this thread, however, the OP asked ALL to particpate, NOT to flame anyone and have a discussion without making things personal. So you clearly have a hard time doing that re this topic.
Message edited 3/1/2010 1:26:47 AM.
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| Posted 2/28/10 11:52 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
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Stephanie
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
Why should I have to keep forcing my eyes in another direction if that happens to be the one I am sitting towards? Why should I feel uncomfortable during my meal? Again, we are talking about BF that may not be done as discreetly as possible.
And just b/c it's legal, doesn't mean some people CANNOT be more discreet. It's just about courtesy to others around you (if you CAN be more discreet but CHOOSE not to be).
Well then what is the solution? And what is the definition of discreet? Discreet to you may be a woman using a nursing cover or going to the bathroom, discreet to me may be not pulling my boob out of the top of my shirt.
This is the kind of topic that just goes in circles and no one goes anywhere
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| Posted 3/1/10 12:09 AM |
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conigs25
So in love with this kid!
Member since 5/06 11197 total posts
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Michele
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by usuk2004
I have a question - what do people consider "covering up?" I've tried to use a burp cloth, but DS always pulls it off. But I like to think I'm pretty discreet even though there's not a piece of fabric over his head (which, actually, IMO, SCREAMS BFing woman!) So is a cover actually needed, or you all just don't want to see my nipple?
I got a great nursing cover by Peanut Shell at BRU
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| Posted 3/1/10 8:27 AM |
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conigs25
So in love with this kid!
Member since 5/06 11197 total posts
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Michele
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
I dont think it is fair to say that breasts were created by God simply for breastfeeding. IMO God would not have created any of our body parts to feel good when doing anything other than biologic functions if the body parts were not intended for other purposes.
You gotta believe in God to believe this. I dont so im all for the biological reasons and fucntions of the human body
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| Posted 3/1/10 8:38 AM |
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rojerono
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Jeannie
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by Goobster
I just had another thought.
I am finding something very odd though. People want others to see it as natural and beautiful. They want others to not find it odd to see or not be disturbed by it. They want others to look away if they don't like it.
But when someone else stares or watches, people are applauding telling the person to stop staring.
Isn't that hypocritical? BFers want others to look away if they don't like. They also want others to look away if they seem to like it too much. But if you are doing it in public, why is someone wrong to watch? If it's such a no big deal natural act, why humiliate someone who is watching by commenting to them? If you want privacy, and for others not to stare/look, why do it in public without being super discreet?
I find it a very mixed message for those in a BF presence.
Is it ok for a mother of children to watch you , but not a random man in the mall? And if you say the random man watching would make you comment to stop looking, then obviously it's something to be private about after all. So why not keep it private then?
I feel ya on this.. and I can tell you that I personally never had an issue with someone watching me feed my sons. To me it was normal and natural. I was proud of what my body could do. I'd have no problem with someone watching me bottle feed either.
I've breastfed in front of my brother, my BIL's, my FIL, my male friends, my female friends, random strangers. I am a very courteous sort of person and try to gage other people's comfort levels before whipping out my pups. But that - to me - is no different than knowing not to wear a mini skirt, crop top and eff me pumps to your religious grandmother's house for Good Friday.
What I don't like is when people watch with derision. Folks who curl their lip or roll their eyes or feel the need to make snide comments.
I can honestly say that I have NEVER encountered anyone 'leering' at me while I fed my child - but it would disturb me - the same way it would disturb me if they were leering at me bottle feeding my child. Or leering at me bending over feeding my child.
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| Posted 3/1/10 9:05 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
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Lauren
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by conigs25
Posted by usuk2004
I have a question - what do people consider "covering up?" I've tried to use a burp cloth, but DS always pulls it off. But I like to think I'm pretty discreet even though there's not a piece of fabric over his head (which, actually, IMO, SCREAMS BFing woman!) So is a cover actually needed, or you all just don't want to see my nipple?
I got a great nursing cover by Peanut Shell at BRU
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I used the bebe au lait cover which was awesome. It has piece of wire at the top so you can see the baby and baby can see you, and it is huge and very lightweight. They never minded being under it, while they hated when I used a blanket.
I remember one time I was BFing in the mall using it and DH said something to the effect of - everyone knows what you are doing anyway, and I said "I don't care." I never got any dirty looks or comments ; to tell you the truth, most people are so oblivious to other people that the don't even notice what is going on around them.
I think I once made a waiter at a restaurant a little uncomfortable, but oh well. It was either that or a screaming baby; which would you prefer?
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| Posted 3/1/10 9:14 AM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
My opinion of discretion is using a cover or using a bathroom- at a restaurant or the middle of a mall.
Once I was walking through the mall and a woman was sitting on the bench BFing her older infant without a cover. The baby was fussing and squirming around, moved her head and the entire breast was exposed- NOT mere millimeters of skin. She just sat there with her boob out in the middle of the mall waiting for her child to finish looking around and get back to the breast.
This is the kind of situation I am talking about, not just BFing in front of friends/family. I've seen friends do that before and it wasn't bothersome. I think the situation I spoke of abovet is highly innapropriate- but that is my opinion. I get that there are laws about it but that doesn't mean I want to see it while i'm eating. Sorry.
I also think it's unfair to say that woman don't even try to BF because formula is available so BFing is now taboo. I saw one of my friends in agony due to BFing her son. I never really wanted to BF in the first place, but that sealed the deal for me. Formula is very close nutrient wise to breast milk and we shouldn't have to try if we are uncomfortable with it, or have other issues that make us unable to.
ETA: I am expressing my opinion becase the OP asked everyone to do so. I do not want to offend anyone. I would NEVER leer, make comments or looks of disgust at a BFing woman. I DO look the other way and try not to even accidently look again. I say to each her own- some like it, some don't.
Message edited 3/1/2010 10:01:11 AM.
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| Posted 3/1/10 9:59 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by JennyPenny
Formula is very close nutrient wise to breast milk and we shouldn't have to try if we are uncomfortable with it, or have other issues that make us unable to.
I agree Jenny. I don't feel the least bit bad that I didn't BF. I didn't try to or want to. I personally don't necessarily believe BF is best, no matter what the recommendation is. I have read studies that go BOTH ways re what the positives and even negatives are. But that's a whole different topic and debate that I don't think we should get into for similar reasons such as this one always going sour.
As for not BF, my child is just as healthy, strong, growing and smart as anyone else's, regardless of BF or FF.
Message edited 3/1/2010 10:19:20 AM.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:05 AM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by JennyPenny
My opinion of discretion is using a cover or using a bathroom
Do you wanna eat in a bathroom?
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:21 AM |
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MeganMylo
LIF Adult
Member since 2/09 1128 total posts
Name:
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by JennyPenny
My opinion of discretion is using a cover or using a bathroom- at a restaurant or the middle of a mall.
What do the mothers do when their baby refuses to be covered???
As far as the feeding in the bathroom, having to USE a public restroom skeeves (sp) me out. I am not a public breast feeder (I don't get out much ) but I would rather feed my baby on a stage in front of a crowd,  than a gross public bathroom! I think it's really demoralizing other people would want to banish nursing mothers and babies to restrooms rather than just look the other way
I guess I am a little more sensitive to this because I am flying w/dd at the end of this month, and will have to breastfeed in public at some point, and I don't know how it's going to go. DD is not used to be covered up, so I don't know how that's going to go well. I am certainly NOT going to a bathroom. It will be an adventure!
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:23 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
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Stephanie
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
I will never understand why people are so concerned with what others do
don't want to see a flash of boob, look away, it is so simple
if the mother wants to let her boob hang out in public that is her perogative
and I cringe when i think of how many people expect someone to sit on a filthy toilet while BF'ing...really cringe
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:26 AM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
You'll be fine Meg!! Will Joe be traveling with you? If so just sit in the window seat and no one will have any clue you're feeding Joey! I've had to feed Frankie many times on plane rides and in the airport. I've never had anyone stare or make me feel uncomfortable!!
And I 1000% agree how public restrooms are so skeevey!! No way in hell I'd ever feel like I need to be banished to one!!
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:27 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Open discussion for all moms- BFing in public
Posted by pinkandblue
and I cringe when i think of how many people expect someone to sit on a filthy toilet while BF'ing...really cringe
Well I agree with this and I don't BF. I think maybe they mean if there are couches in there or something? You know when they have the lounge area thingy?
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:28 AM |
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