Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

DS is 3+ months old. He hates the crib and PNP. He wants to be held 24/7 so I slept with him in my arms for over 3 months. It was the only way either of us got some sleep. We tried so many things to get him in the crib, but nothing worked. Last weekend, we finally decided that we had to transition him into the crib.

Friday night started out ok. We used the Miracle Blanket, sleep positioner, light projector and music. We let him cry for no more than 5-7 minutes, then we picked him up and soothed him, and put him back down. It took 30-45 minutes before he fell asleep. He'd sleep for 1.5-2 hours and then it took another 30-45 minutes to get him back to sleep. At 3:30, it turned into a disaster. Except for one or two ten minute naps, he cried for 4 hours. He'd fall asleep in our arms and as soon as we put him down, he woke up and cried. I finally gave up at 7:30 and brought him into bed with me. He slept for 2 hours.

Saturday night was so much better. We used the same things except we used a eartbeat sound instead of music. He went down right away. He had one 3.5 hour stretch and slept for about 2 hours at a time during the rest of the night. At one point, the swaddle became loose and I decided to see how he'd do with his arms free. That didn't work at all. Unlike Friday, DS started to slide down the sleep positioner. He'd wake up whenever he was at the bottom of the positioner.

On Sunday, he went down at 8 and woke up every 2 hours or so until 4:30. Whenever I picked him up, he started nibbling on my shoulder so I nursed him back to sleep. I was able to put him back down without a problem. After 4:30, he woke up much more frequently and we had trouble putting him back down. I took him into bed with me at 7:30 (it gets pretty light in the room even with the shades) and he slept until 10:45. He seemed to wake up frequently partly b/c he'd wind up at the bottom of the sleep positioner.

We seemed to be making progress, but last night was rough again. I got nervous that DS kept sliding down the positioner so last night we propped up the mattress with towels. DS has reflux and doesn't like to lie flat on his back. It was difficult to get him down without the sleep positioner. I don't think he was at enough of an angle, but we really couldn't prop the mattress up any more. DS slept for 2 hours, had difficulty going down again, and was up an hour later. It took another hour to get him back down. He didn't sleep for very long after that. At some point, DH took out the towels and tried the sleep positioner to see if he'd sleep longer. It didn't help. Between 2 and 5, DS didn't sleep for longer than 30-45 minutes at a time. We were both exhausted at 5 so I brought him into bed with me and he slept for 3.5 hours.

I don't know what to do anymore. DS sleeps so much better on me, but if we don't keep him in the crib, it will be so much harder to get him in there when he's older. I'm going back to work next week and I can't function on 30 minute-2 hour stretches of sleep. The sleep positioner worries me and DS wakes up when he wiggles down to the bottom. Using towels didn't seem to help at all. Keeping the crib mattress flat would be even worse.

Are we doing something wrong? What can we do to get DS to sleep in the crib, especially for more than 2 hours at a time? Do you have any advice?

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Does the swaddle help? At that age, my DD was up every 2-3 hours also. Now at almost 8 months she can go 12 hours. I found that at 3 months, she needed to eat every 3 hours or so. Maybe he is hungry? I would nurse her and she would go right back to sleep.

I agree that it will create a bad habit having him sleep with you. I wouldn't do it, but then again you need sleep to function so do what works!

Good luck!

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

At 3 months DS needed to eat every 3 hours so I was still getting up. What we did was DH would take one shift and I would take the other 2. Unfortunately I think you are asking to much of a 3 month old sleep wise. They usually wake up a couple of times at night. I don't think DS was sleeping for 4 hour stretches until 4 months. Every week he would up the sleep time. I think he started to sleep through the night at 5-6 months.

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

we've been putting DS in his crib since the day we brought him home.

My DS hates being swaddled but I hear from girls on here that seems to work. What about feeding him from a bottle instead of nursing him? It seems a lot of BF moms do that for the overnight sleep

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

someone on here has the amby baby..and says its incredible!! its a swaddled inclined tight fitting bed, so they ALWAYS feel like theyre with you..

maybe try that?? i think its a lil pricey, but nothing costs more then sleep deprivation if you ask me..

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Is he already fully asleep when you are putting him down after he eats ?...Is he burping for you ?...The reason I ask is because with my DS, we would fore-go the burp just to ever so gingerly put him in his crib out of desperation and it always back-fired...Now with DD, after she eats we make sure she burps, even if it wakes her up and pi$$es her off , and after she does and we put her back down, she falls asleep almost instantly.....Every 2-4 hours can still be very normal at that age from what I know...My DD is 11 weeks and is FF and still wakes every 2-3 to eat, I dont mind so much because she goes right back ( knock on wood)...This too shall pass

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Aww Brooke I am so sorry you are going through these sleep issues! Ds is not in his crib yet and I am very nervous for the transition. He is in his bassinet still and we use a swaddleme and sleep positioner. We have his mattress elevated because he always seems congested. I too noticed that he was sliding down in between the positioner so we put another towel under the bottom of the mattress but not as high as the top. For some reason this keeps him from slipping.

Also, are you positive he isn't hungry? I swore up and down that DS wasn't because he was eating what seemed like constantly. But he was cranky and not sleeping well. At about 12 weeks I started to supplement 1-2 bottles a day and he became a new baby. Sleeps through the nite and is so much more content. I know you want to EBF but maybe you can give him some pumped milk to make sure he is getting a good amount?

BTW. I don't think you are asking too much from him AT ALL in trying to get him to sleep in his crib. Lots of hugs!

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

It sounds like you are doing a great job. I say try to stick with the routine and see how it works out. It seems that he did better on the 2nd night than the first, yes? That seems like a good sign.

I'm so sorry, I've been very fortunate and have only had a few of those types of nights, and I know how rough they are

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Posted by karanthony

Does the swaddle help? At that age, my DD was up every 2-3 hours also. Now at almost 8 months she can go 12 hours. I found that at 3 months, she needed to eat every 3 hours or so. Maybe he is hungry? I would nurse her and she would go right back to sleep.

I agree that it will create a bad habit having him sleep with you. I wouldn't do it, but then again you need sleep to function so do what works!

Good luck!

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Posted by Bops

Is he already fully asleep when you are putting him down after he eats ?...Is he burping for you ?...The reason I ask is because with my DS, we would fore-go the burp just to ever so gingerly put him in his crib out of desperation and it always back-fired...Now with DD, after she eats we make sure she burps, even if it wakes her up and pi$$es her off , and after she does and we put her back down, she falls asleep almost instantly.....Every 2-4 hours can still be very normal at that age from what I know...My DD is 11 weeks and is FF and still wakes every 2-3 to eat, I dont mind so much because she goes right back ( knock on wood)...This too shall pass

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Posted by LSP2005

Posted by MrsS2005

Posted by LSP2005

At 3 months DS needed to eat every 3 hours so I was still getting up. What we did was DH would take one shift and I would take the other 2. Unfortunately I think you are asking to much of a 3 month old sleep wise. They usually wake up a couple of times at night. I don't think DS was sleeping for 4 hour stretches until 4 months. Every week he would up the sleep time. I think he started to sleep through the night at 5-6 months.

I absolutely expect him to wake up several times per night, but I don't expect him to wake up every 30-45 minutes. He gave me much longer stretches when he slept in my arms. When I'm exhausted and bring him into bed with me in the morning, he sleeps for at least 3 hours. It just seems like he's fighting the crib. We pick him up to soothe him and he quickly falls asleep in our arms. As soon as we put him back down in the crib, he tends to wake up and start crying.

Oh wow - I did not realize from your original post that he was only giving you 30-45 minutes in the crib. I thought he was giving you 3 hours. Sorry. I think he has gotten used to you holding him and rocking him to sooth him. It is an extremely hard habbit to break. I would try to put him in the crib with your hand on top of his belly. That may calm him down. Also when he cries come to him and put your hand on his belly but if you know he was just fed, and has a clean diaper, and is not gassy, then I would keep your hand on his belly so that he feels you but realizes that you are not going to give in and pick him up. GL and I hope for you soon.

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

I am so sorry that you are frustrated. Did he have gas? I noticed that you said he has some feeding issues. Are you EBF? If so could it be something you are eating that is upsetting his tummy? I have a friend IRL whose daughter had this. She had to eliminate foods for a while to determine what her food issues she had. Onestepahead.com sells this thing that props the baby up. I am not sure if it works but I think other girls on here have had success with it or other similar products. Do you use any formula? If so, could DH do a feeding so that you could get a slightly longer sleep session?

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Posted by LSP2005

I am so sorry that you are frustrated. Did he have gas? I noticed that you said he has some feeding issues. Are you EBF? If so could it be something you are eating that is upsetting his tummy? I have a friend IRL whose daughter had this. She had to eliminate foods for a while to determine what her food issues she had. Onestepahead.com sells this thing that props the baby up. I am not sure if it works but I think other girls on here have had success with it or other similar products. Do you use any formula? If so, could DH do a feeding so that you could get a slightly longer sleep session?

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Maybe it is the reflux thats really keeping DC up. The ONLY thing that worked for us to get some sleep was suggested by the pedi, and it was to have DD sleep in her carseat. The gravity helped the acid stay down. Shes much more comfy when she sleeps now. Good luck

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

i hate to say it, but i don't think you can go in there anymore when he wakes every time. he can smell your milk, and that is making him wake up more fully and "nibble" on your shoulder.

can your DH go in there to soothe him if he wakes up?

plus, i would let him fuss for a bit if he wakes up. i would only go in there if he is full-on crying. that will help him learn to soothe himself.

what worked for us was putting him down sleepy, but not asleep. we gave him a "lovey" - a small stuffed animal (he is not swaddled). we turned on his fisher price aquarium and his humidifier that we use as a white noise machine and say good night.

i am definitely not suggesting that you do CIO now, but i think that at that age (and i know some people will disagree with me, but i found it to be true for my DS) they are just starting to learn that when they cry, someone will come to them. that doesn't mean to ignore them, but you need to be able to decide when they really need you, as opposed to when they just fuss in their sleep.

i had this exact same problem when DS was almost 4 months old until he was just over 5 month old - that was 6 weeks of him waking 5,6 times a night. but that was because his pacifier would fall out of his mouth and i would need to go and put it back in. it doesn't sound that that is what you are dealing with.

it really will get better, i promise. consistency is key.

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

It could be a few things...maybe he is hungry and falling asleep while you are nursing him at night so he isn't getting enough to hold him over?

Could be his reflux bothering him...have you spoken to the ped. about it? Maybe there is something you can give him at night to help with the reflux since it probably bothers him more since he's laying down.

He could have just gotten used to you holding him to fall asleep. It may have just become a habit.

Does he use a pacifier? Will he take one? Maybe it will help soothe him. Not a habit everyone wants to start but it if helps him sleep and in turn helps you sleep I would try it.


ETA: I would try pumping for a couple of days at night to see how much he is really getting with his nightly feedings. I have a feeling he is hungry.

Message edited 3/24/2009 9:19:36 PM.

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Posted by MrsS2005

Posted by LSP2005

I am so sorry that you are frustrated. Did he have gas? I noticed that you said he has some feeding issues. Are you EBF? If so could it be something you are eating that is upsetting his tummy? I have a friend IRL whose daughter had this. She had to eliminate foods for a while to determine what her food issues she had. Onestepahead.com sells this thing that props the baby up. I am not sure if it works but I think other girls on here have had success with it or other similar products. Do you use any formula? If so, could DH do a feeding so that you could get a slightly longer sleep session?

He has reflux, which makes sleeping flat on his back uncomfortable. Sometimes I have issues with burping him. I'll try to burp him after a feeding in the middle of the night, but nothing comes out. Then, after I put him down, he'll wake up a little while later b/c he's uncomfortable and needs to burp. He doesn't really have any gas issues.

I'm EBFing. I've thought about pumping at least once at night so I could get some more rest and he could possibly go longer between nursing sessions. He tends to eat quickly at night though so it would take longer to pump.

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

I can't take it anymore. He slept for 2 hours when we first put him down. From 11 p.m. - 6:45 a.m., he hasn't slept more than 10-20 minutes at a time. I tried taking him into bed with me at 5:30 and at that point, he wasn't interested in sleeping. He just wanted to suck on his hands and sit up. I just put him down in his swing and he's finally closing his eyes.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. DH and I take turns going in to get him. He wakes up no matter who puts him down in the crib. I've tried swaddling, swaddling with his hands free, the sleep positioner, propping up the crib with towels, lying him flat without anything, etc. We've tried putting him down while sleepy, but he just cries. We've tried putting him down after he falls asleep, but he almost always wakes up. Nothing works. We don't go in as soon as he cries or fusses. He gets really upset pretty quickly though. I really can't take this kind of sleep deprivation much longer, especially since I'm going back to work in a week.

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Posted by MrsS2005

I can't take it anymore. He slept for 2 hours when we first put him down. From 11 p.m. - 6:45 a.m., he hasn't slept more than 10-20 minutes at a time. I tried taking him into bed with me at 5:30 and at that point, he wasn't interested in sleeping. He just wanted to suck on his hands and sit up. I just put him down in his swing and he's finally closing his eyes.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. DH and I take turns going in to get him. He wakes up no matter who puts him down in the crib. I've tried swaddling, swaddling with his hands free, the sleep positioner, propping up the crib with towels, lying him flat without anything, etc. We've tried putting him down while sleepy, but he just cries. We've tried putting him down after he falls asleep, but he almost always wakes up. Nothing works. We don't go in as soon as he cries or fusses. He gets really upset pretty quickly though. I really can't take this kind of sleep deprivation much longer, especially since I'm going back to work in a week.

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Posted by MrsS2005

I can't take it anymore. He slept for 2 hours when we first put him down. From 11 p.m. - 6:45 a.m., he hasn't slept more than 10-20 minutes at a time. I tried taking him into bed with me at 5:30 and at that point, he wasn't interested in sleeping. He just wanted to suck on his hands and sit up. I just put him down in his swing and he's finally closing his eyes.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. DH and I take turns going in to get him. He wakes up no matter who puts him down in the crib. I've tried swaddling, swaddling with his hands free, the sleep positioner, propping up the crib with towels, lying him flat without anything, etc. We've tried putting him down while sleepy, but he just cries. We've tried putting him down after he falls asleep, but he almost always wakes up. Nothing works. We don't go in as soon as he cries or fusses. He gets really upset pretty quickly though. I really can't take this kind of sleep deprivation much longer, especially since I'm going back to work in a week.

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Posted by Bops

Posted by MrsS2005

I can't take it anymore. He slept for 2 hours when we first put him down. From 11 p.m. - 6:45 a.m., he hasn't slept more than 10-20 minutes at a time. I tried taking him into bed with me at 5:30 and at that point, he wasn't interested in sleeping. He just wanted to suck on his hands and sit up. I just put him down in his swing and he's finally closing his eyes.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. DH and I take turns going in to get him. He wakes up no matter who puts him down in the crib. I've tried swaddling, swaddling with his hands free, the sleep positioner, propping up the crib with towels, lying him flat without anything, etc. We've tried putting him down while sleepy, but he just cries. We've tried putting him down after he falls asleep, but he almost always wakes up. Nothing works. We don't go in as soon as he cries or fusses. He gets really upset pretty quickly though. I really can't take this kind of sleep deprivation much longer, especially since I'm going back to work in a week.

Hmmmm...sucking on his hands ???...Maybe he is either still hungry or maybe even teething !!!
Is he going back to the ped soon ???...I would also get his ears checked...I would say maybe white noise but with 10-20 minutes at a shot, something is bothering/hurting him...I feel for you both

Re: Please help. I don't know what to do anymore re: DS's sleep issues (long)

Posted by DancinBarefoot

Posted by MrsS2005

I can't take it anymore. He slept for 2 hours when we first put him down. From 11 p.m. - 6:45 a.m., he hasn't slept more than 10-20 minutes at a time. I tried taking him into bed with me at 5:30 and at that point, he wasn't interested in sleeping. He just wanted to suck on his hands and sit up. I just put him down in his swing and he's finally closing his eyes.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. DH and I take turns going in to get him. He wakes up no matter who puts him down in the crib. I've tried swaddling, swaddling with his hands free, the sleep positioner, propping up the crib with towels, lying him flat without anything, etc. We've tried putting him down while sleepy, but he just cries. We've tried putting him down after he falls asleep, but he almost always wakes up. Nothing works. We don't go in as soon as he cries or fusses. He gets really upset pretty quickly though. I really can't take this kind of sleep deprivation much longer, especially since I'm going back to work in a week.

Everything (except the reflux) is exactly how DD was at that age. She slept for long stretches in DH's arms, but max 1 hour in her bassinet. This will sound a bit weird, but take the miracle blanket and put in under your shirt all day long so when you put DS in it at night it smells like you. Other than that, just keep doing what you're doing. Eventually he will get into a routine and you will get more sleep.

Hang in there mommy - you're doing a great job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!