Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

Im curious..for those of you who have kids in your 30's or are currently trying to conceive in your 30's are you happy with waiting until your 30's to try or do you wish you started earlier? I always wanted to have kids at any earlier age but I find myself now (at 27yrs old) thinking that I would be more financially sable in my 30's but then I hear that chances start decreasing once you're in your 30's (thats what my Dr. said)...its kinda a tough spot to be in...

Message edited 8/3/2010 11:45:01 AM.

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

I am 33 and TTCing my first. DH and I dated a long time before we married and he wanted to be married for a year before TTCing. It's never seemed old to me b/c my mom had me at 29 and didn't have my sister till 40, though she was a surprise. We really only want 1 or 2 DCs so I'm comfortable starting now.

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

I SOOOOOOOO wish I had kids earlier. DH and I have been together since we were 16 so honestly, I NEVER expected to be 33 before having my first child but it's just the way life worked out. If I could I would go back and start sooner.

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

I'm 31 and just started ttc this year. I'm completely happy that I waited until this point in my life. I've gotten to travel - even lived in England and in Spain for a time, finished my Master's Degree, bought a house, but more importantly... I'm really secure with who I am in life. Some of my friends who had children young are pretty miserable - they feel like they never got to be themselves, and now they're only "Mommy." They love their children but they never really came into themselves before they had them, and they feel like something is missing. I can't say that that won't happen to me, but I know that I'm coming from a different starting point than they did, and I'm grateful for that.

It's a very personal choice, and very dependent upon the individual woman.

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

Im 30 and pregnant with my first. I fortunately didnt have a hard time getting pg so I wouldnt change a thing.

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

I'm 34 and we just started to TTC. We've talked about it for years, but just never felt ready. I still don't really feel ready, but I think a large part of that is just fear of the unknown, and I don't think that feeling will go away until I just jump right in and realize I'm swimming. KWIM?

The only time I start wishing we started earlier is when I let my mind wander to the "what if" scenarios... There's a part of me that is terrified I can't get PG. If I knew for sure I would conceive and have a healthy baby, I'd wait another year or two.

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

I'll be 30 in November... were TTC starting in September... we'll see if it happens right away or not... who knows...

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

Posted by DavaDay

Posted by bettybcafe
I mean, you are only 31 so thats not too bad.

Thanks?

Also, ttc is a really biological thing. It's like there was this switch in me that was turned from "not interested" to "must have a baby TODAY" in an instant. It was so weird! My friends told me that would happen, and I didn't believe it would because I was so "eh" about babies before. I knew I wanted them, sometime, hypothetically, in the future, probably... and then one day BAM! It was all I could think about, all the time.

If that "switch" had gotten flipped when I was, say, 23, I don't know what I would have done! Probably have married the guy I was dating then () and started trying. It's just too hard to ignore when you're really, really ready. I'm actually thankful that it didn't happen for me until I was financially / emotionally ready.

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

I'm 31 and pregnant-having my LO just before my 32nd birthday.

I'm really glad to be at this stage in my life in my 30's. I've reached so many personal and career milestones, traveled, and had so many awesome experiences through my 20's and into my 30's..

I can now say that I'm ready to be completely selfless and put 100% into being an awesome mom. My DH feels the exact same way.

Everyone is different-for me, I wanted the city out and about life before settling down into marriage and kids. DH and I are on the same page totally. Plus we are financially really settled and our careers are excellent.

Maybe had we met sooner we would have had kids sooner-but to us, everything worked out perfectly.

HTH!

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

no way would i have started in my 20s. I wasn't even ready for marriage then. I'm totally happy that I will be a mom in my 30s.... like dava said, I've traveled, gotten my masters, enjoyed my time with DH, so I think i'm ready for the next step.

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

I just turned 35 in June and due with my first next month.

I am honestly glad I waited and feel I am now ready to be a Mommy and give my baby all the attention in the world. I was way to selfish prior to this, DH and I traveled, went out to eat every night, partied like rock stars and I was not ready to be a parent until now.

I have no regrets and I think that I can honestly say I have done everything I wanted to do and I am now ready for my little man

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

I waited to 31. I wish I could have earlier but my life would be very different if I did and not for the better in my case.

The reasons I wish I didn't wait:

My dad was gone before DS was born
My mom passed away when my son was not even 3. I feel like he got gyped on my side of the family and my mom missed out big time. It is also hard doing this with one grandparent that is involved when you have a life like ours (on call, irregular hours, etc)

I am now thinking we might want 3 and we are sitting here at 35 and 38 waiting for #2

I am more tired than I was 5 years ago-I can't imagine if I am a granparent to a newborn 35 yrs from now!

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

i am 31 and we are preparing to TTC starting around December. I honestly could wait a year or so but I am afraid of complications because my BIL and SIL had them and it had taken them four years to have twins. Dh is 38 and I don't want him to have to wait until after 40 just have one baby.

I am glad I had waited, we have been dating since I was 22 but we got married about two and half years ago. I can't even fathom being in my 20's and starting a family. Not saying its bad or wrong just for me its mind blowing to think when I was that age and where my head was a baby would of been BAD! I have issues still adjusting to the thought of it because its so much to have to deal with. We are totally not financially prepared for this as well - i would love to have a good cushion but then we would never have kids. Still can't even think of how we will pay for daycare but i am getting a second job now and dh is working as much OT just so we can save up.

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

When DH and I were dating (we started dating when I was 26 and he was 23... wow is that insane to think about... anyway) we always said we were going to wait until we got married to have a child. We got married when I was 30 and he was 27.

The baby is due before my 32nd birthday but after his 29th (just a week after) -- kinda cool it's in the 3 months we are "closer" in age.

I am SO SO SO SO glad I didn't get pregnant any earlier in my life. Because then it would've been with the wrong person. My most recent ex before I met DH was an abusive piece of crap who went as far as to burglarize my apartment after we broke up. I'm so glad not to have ANY sort of connection to him anymore.

My convoluted point is that sometimes you can't choose when life will present itself with the opportunity to conceive in a loving and self-determined "appropriate" environment. Would I have liked to have had my first child before I was 30? Yes. But I'm so much happier now that it's the right time to be parents and I'm in the right relationship for it to happen.

Age is a silly way to determine if you're ready to have a child IMHO.

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

it's funny you write this because i'm trying to figure this all out myself! i just turned 30 and really thought i would have had a baby by now, or at least have been pregnant at this point. i am going off the pill this month and wanted to start trying. DH isn't quite as ready as i am and since we are about to close on a house he really wants us to wait anywhere from 6 months to a year before TTC to make sure everything works out. We also said we would like to go on one more nice vacation before a baby, but we really aren't able to go until next february. there are a few other reasons on both of our ends as well.

so i'm trying to decide do we start TTC now or wait until next year after going on one more vacation. then i'll be closer to 32 by the time i have a baby. it's not the worst thing, just not exactly where i thought or want to be having a baby. what is the best thing to do??

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

I'm 31, :) I didnt get the baby vibe until I was 30. I have been married for over 2 years. I never wanted to get PG right after I got married since I didnt live with DH beforehand. If I got married younger I would have wanted to wait 4-5 years before TTC because I like to take a nice vacation at least once a year. My ideal situation is to have 2 kids by ago 35 but at this rate I dont know..... DH and I decided that once we have a LO we are going to TTC ASAP for # 2!!

Re: Pregnant or TTC in your 30's

Message edited 8/3/2010 10:39:38 PM.