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megsm3
Life is Good!!
Member since 8/06 3867 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Posted by Alex110879
Take advantage of cuddling your child now.. ds is 10 months old and wants nothing to do with cuddling for 90% of the day and to be honest i miss it... it does go very fast so cherish every minute that you can holding your newborn...
This is soooo true - I am lucky if my older DD will sit with me for two minutes!
We were also afraid of starting bad habits and we let DD cry the first night home. We went to the ped the next day and said how she did not sleep and we tried letting her cry a little. Our ped assured us that you cannot spoil a newborn and told us to hold her and comfort her as much as possible. She started sleeping through the night at 3 weeks and has always been pretty good with falling a asleep (*knock on wood!*)
Enjoy your cuddle time, it goes so fast!
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Posted 8/18/09 8:31 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
You are 1000% wrong. Sorry that people keep saying it...but it's really really true!
This is how I thought about the newborn stage.....I imagined how I feel anytime I go someplace new all by myself....and how uncomfortable and scared it can be for me. EVERYTHING is new to your little baby. Imagine how scary that would be? And imagine that your only way of making your thoughts known is through crying?
Go pick that precious baby up and hold on tight! You are the safest place in the world to him!
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| Posted 8/18/09 8:34 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
I feel like I'm just repeating what everyone else said, but OMG please don't let that newborn cry for 20 minutes!! I know you had the best of intentions wanting to teach him to self-soothe, but he is just not capable of doing that right now! It's like expecting him to walk right now-- he just CAN'T. The most important thing you need to teach him is to love and trust you, and you do that by spending time holding him. Yes, I know it's very hard doing it by yourself at night-- my husband is here but would NEVER help me at night, so I can really sympathize! But you still owe that newborn a sense of security.
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| Posted 8/18/09 8:44 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Posted by Palebride
You are 1000% wrong.
Ouch.
I think she probably gets it by now...no need to be harsh. My guess is that she asked because she wasn't sure. But some of these responses are making me 
She asked a question, she got an answer...25 times over!
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| Posted 8/18/09 8:47 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Way to quote part of my post.....you missed this part...Sorry that people keep saying it...but it's really really true!
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| Posted 8/18/09 8:49 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
to the OP, I know how tough it is to have a newborn.....do what you can to maintain some sanity, if that means letting your baby fall asleep on you, so be it
I don't want you to think we are attacking you, this is all new to you as it is to your baby
hang in there 
Message edited 8/18/2009 8:52:05 PM.
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| Posted 8/18/09 8:50 PM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Let the baby cuddle with you now while you can get it. At 11 mos, DS will barely let me hold him, let alone cuddle. I let DS fall asleep on me for every nap and every night for the 1st 3 mos. He broke himself from the habit and now, he cant get comfortable enough most nights to even fall asleep on me anymore
Please do not beat yourself up though, you were doing what you thought was best. Parenting is trial and error and learning as we go
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| Posted 8/18/09 8:54 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Posted by Palebride
Way to quote part of my post.....you missed this part...Sorry that people keep saying it...but it's really really true!
Oh, no...I definitely saw that part. But if you think about it, saying something biting like that and then apologizing that people keep saying it kinda defeats the point, doesn't it? 
Just saying that you could have left out the whole "1000% wrong" part, because it's not exactly supportive, KWIM?
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| Posted 8/18/09 8:56 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
I also wanted to add that I rocked my dd to sleep for 12 months
She always slept great once I rocked her to sleep so I never did CIO
When she hit a year, she started resisting my rocking and kind of forced me to do CIO
even with all that, my dd is, and always has been a great sleeper so It did not create any bad habits
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| Posted 8/18/09 8:57 PM |
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
You should not start letting him CIO until at least 4 months old.
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| Posted 8/18/09 8:57 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
ITA with everyone else, but I also have taken lots of cihld psych classes, and this stage is also when they learn to rely on you and others. If you let them cry, it makes them feel like they are alone in this strange world...Newborns and babies who have parents who rush to comfort them are more likely to be empathetic adults.
There may be times when nothing you can do will stop the crying, and we've all been there...And at that time, you hold him, rock him, and cry with him. It DOES get better, and soon--for me 5 weeks DS started sleeping through the night, giggling, and laughing. He's a total joy, though the first month I posted about how I didn't get ANY sleep and was up from 2-6AM every morning rocking him while he cried...
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| Posted 8/18/09 9:04 PM |
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ready2b3
LIF Infant
Member since 12/08 140 total posts
Name:
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
To the OP, as someone who is about to be a new mom in a month and a half I just want to say that I didn't know there was a time frame where "crying it out" should or shouldn't be done either You're not alone! I appreciate reading all the advice in this post but geeze, take it easy on us newbies 
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| Posted 8/18/09 9:49 PM |
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Blissful
Ultimate Expression of LOVE
Member since 6/08 4985 total posts
Name:
Maria
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Posted by KateDevine
Yes, you are wrong Sorry.
Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bonds
COMPLETELY AGREE!!! A baby that young should NEVER be just left to cry!
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| Posted 8/18/09 9:55 PM |
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nicknmb
SISTERS!
Member since 1/06 5193 total posts
Name:
MaryBeth
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
I just read all these posts and I know they must be hard for you to read, but they are all right. Your DC is very little and needs mommy for cuddling....enjoy them while they are small and if you feel overwhelmed, make sure you ask for help! Hang in there!!
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| Posted 8/18/09 9:56 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
All of these posts are truthful, and I, to this day, don't let my dd cry it out and she's 7 mos old.
BUT...
PLEASE, don't think you're a bad mother for doing something you didn't know was wrong. Start tonight, after you read all these posts (and probably have a good cry), and pick that beautiful baby up. I don't believe in cry it out at all - I'm the type who will bring my daughter into bed with us if she's super fussy. I know that's a topic for another thread, but that's how I feel about letting babies cry.
Having taken many child psych classes myself, and as a previous poster already stated, the first few months of life are crucial in forming trust with your child. By picking your baby right up, you're not spoiling him/her, you're simply saying "I'm here for you." I know your dh is going to be deployed as you said, and now more than ever, you're especially going to need that little cutie right there for you to cuddle and hold. He/she needs you as much as you will need her/him in the coming months. (Sorry, I don't remember if you said you had a boy/girl.)
Don't dwell on the past and move forward. Start picking that little one up.
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| Posted 8/18/09 10:07 PM |
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Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)
Member since 8/06 6655 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Posted by KateDevine
Yes, you are wrong Sorry.
Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bonds
Completely agree as well. We went through this with DS #2 where he would cry for seemingly no reason. It was a phase that lasted from about 2 weeks old until 6 weeks and then he outgrew it. You cannot spoil a newborn by picking them up too much. They need to establish trust and bond with you and that is one of the ways they do it, by knowing you will be there when they need you.
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| Posted 8/18/09 10:11 PM |
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lkrpaul
Becoming a Big Brother!
Member since 5/07 2541 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Posted by XcalystaX
Posted by KateDevine
Yes, you are wrong Sorry.
Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bonds
Completely agree. You should not let an newborn cry it out, at that stage of development it could be harmful to your baby. Most doctors will tell you that you shouldn't start letting them cry it out until they are over 4 months old.
I agree too. Some doctors don't even want you to cry it out until 6 months. Typically the first few months the baby is considered so young that it can't be spoiled. It's the time they're learning to trust, etc. and feel that everything's ok.
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| Posted 8/18/09 10:15 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Posted by Jen2999
I would never in a million years let a baby 2.5 weeks old scream and cry like that....sorry!
I agree with the other posters and your MIL!!!! Sorry.
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| Posted 8/18/09 10:20 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Posted by ready2b3
To the OP, as someone who is about to be a new mom in a month and a half I just want to say that I didn't know there was a time frame where "crying it out" should or shouldn't be done either You're not alone! I appreciate reading all the advice in this post but geeze, take it easy on us newbies
I think there has been a lot of helpful advice and pretty much everyone has unilaterally agreed that the baby is too young....
I really don't think that anyone is being rough to the "newbie"
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| Posted 8/18/09 10:24 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Thank you all for your advice. Being a first time mom, I really wasnt sure whether or not letting him cry was the "right" thing to do. Knowing what I know now, I'll be picking him up and rocking him back to sleep from now on.
Thank you ladies
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| Posted 8/18/09 10:48 PM |
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hope316
LIF Adult
Member since 8/07 1085 total posts
Name:
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
I think instead of telling you were wrong (which by the way I think is such a strong word). As i new mom i have been there too. Not wanting to spoil him. Have you tried a pacifier? It really helped my DH go to bed.
It gets better with time
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| Posted 8/18/09 10:51 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Posted by hope316
I think instead of telling you were wrong (which by the way I think is such a strong word). As i new mom i have been there too. Not wanting to spoil him. Have you tried a pacifier? It really helped my DH go to bed.
It gets better with time
Thank you. Like I said, I know the popular belief is that you cant spoil them, but it IS a big fear of mine.
We use the paci during the day when he's fussy, but I dont want to give it to him for bed. He has trouble keeping it in his mouth and I know if I give it to him at bed, I'll be up all night putting it back in his mouth 700 times since he screams when it falls out.
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| Posted 8/18/09 10:57 PM |
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karjules
Love my Jules :)
Member since 1/07 2056 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Posted by HomeIsWithU
Posted by hope316
I think instead of telling you were wrong (which by the way I think is such a strong word). As i new mom i have been there too. Not wanting to spoil him. Have you tried a pacifier? It really helped my DH go to bed.
It gets better with time
Thank you. Like I said, I know the popular belief is that you cant spoil them, but it IS a big fear of mine.
We use the paci during the day when he's fussy, but I dont want to give it to him for bed. He has trouble keeping it in his mouth and I know if I give it to him at bed, I'll be up all night putting it back in his mouth 700 times since he screams when it falls out.
Yeah I tried resisting the paci for awhile, then I saw the happiest baby on the block DVD. Sucking is actually a self-soothing tech. and will help you in the long run. Did we have our nights where we went in there (ok I correct myself, that I went in there like 30 times, yes, but after a bit, they learn to keep it in. I heard to practice tugging on it in their mouth during the day and they learn to develop a stronger suck  I strongly suggest a paci, it saved us rocking and crying!!! I never had to rock DD after using the paci 
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| Posted 8/18/09 11:09 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Posted by HomeIsWithU
Posted by hope316
I think instead of telling you were wrong (which by the way I think is such a strong word). As i new mom i have been there too. Not wanting to spoil him. Have you tried a pacifier? It really helped my DH go to bed.
It gets better with time
Thank you. Like I said, I know the popular belief is that you cant spoil them, but it IS a big fear of mine.
We use the paci during the day when he's fussy, but I dont want to give it to him for bed. He has trouble keeping it in his mouth and I know if I give it to him at bed, I'll be up all night putting it back in his mouth 700 times since he screams when it falls out.
sleeping with a pacifier has actually been proven to decrease SIDS...so you might want to give it a try if it works during the day!
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| Posted 8/18/09 11:11 PM |
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peabody
Love green icing!!!
Member since 5/05 4691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?
Posted by Jen2999
I would never in a million years let a baby 2.5 weeks old scream and cry like that....sorry!
I agree.
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| Posted 8/18/09 11:18 PM |
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