Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by KateDevine

Yes, you are wrong Sorry.

Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bonds

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

WOW that is way to early to let a Newborn baby cry

Message edited 8/19/2009 7:33:10 PM.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I think a lot of the ppl here are a little RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Relax I think she got the point!!!! Everyone should just stop commenting already!!!!

I know she asked for advice.... but seriously STOP!!! She'sa new mom... as I am.... I'd be crying right now if I were her!

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

my ped actually recommended CIO from the beginning--he said they're never too young.

i think you need to do what's best for YOUR baby. if it works for your baby, continue doing it and don't worry what others think. i would have NO problem doing what you're doing.

no one but you knows what it's like raising your baby.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I understand where you are coming from. While I agree with the OP's about the age, you are new to this and asked a great question for all the new moms to learn from. However I will say - as a mom that had 2 under 2 were there times I let my little one CIO - yes because I HAD to. I am one person and couldn't always be in 2 places at the same time. My ped said to attend to the oldest one first if they are both crying because she understands more. Was it the norm? NO, but it did happen. Can I tell you I have the happiest easiest going baby? YES!

Don't beat yourself up over it. Like a few other people have said, its ok to let them fuss a bit - but its best to pick up a hysterical baby at that age.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by Charly

I understand where you are coming from. While I agree with the OP's about the age, you are new to this and asked a great question for all the new moms to learn from. However I will say - as a mom that had 2 under 2 were there times I let my little one CIO - yes because I HAD to. I am one person and couldn't always be in 2 places at the same time. My ped said to attend to the oldest one first if they are both crying because she understands more. Was it the norm? NO, but it did happen. Can I tell you I have the happiest easiest going baby? YES!

Don't beat yourself up over it. Like a few other people have said, its ok to let them fuss a bit - but its best to pick up a hysterical baby at that age.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Sorry but I think that is horrible, horrible, horrible to to do to a 2&1/2 week old. Look up Reactive Attachment Disorder. This is the one topic I am strongly opposed to each his own. Newborn need to be held and comforted, not left to CIO. Even a doctor will tell you that.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Try white noise and heartbeat sounds-- they helped my DD. Also, try letting her sleep in her bouncer or swing when she is particularly fussy-- my DD slept in her bouncer till she was 2 1/2 months old. It didn't create a bad habit- at 5 months, she happily sleeps in her crib (most of the time)

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I was told by my pediatrician that should not let an infant CIO until about four months. This is the time when they are developing trust and need comfort. Newborns do not understand the world around them and NEED physical contact at this stage. I agree with CIO but not until they are a little older.

I understand that you want your little one to sleep in their own bed but DC will in time. Right now, I would suggest that you not let a newborn cry for 20 minutes. If you are unsure what direction to go in you should speak with your pediatrician.

I just wanted to add that I have three kids 3.5/1.5 and 8 weeks and I have definatley had to let my kids cry for a while but if I can I like to go in and comfort them (when they are so young). Did you try a pacifier? I find that to comfort DD quite well.

Good luck.

Message edited 8/19/2009 10:39:30 PM.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Message edited 8/19/2009 11:21:27 PM.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I am sorry too but I agree with all the other ladies. I newborn needs to be held and rocked. He will eventually learn how to self sooth but not at 2 1/2 weeks.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Message edited 8/19/2009 11:25:34 PM.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by twinkletoes807

Posted by HomeIsWithU

Posted by hope316

I think instead of telling you were wrong (which by the way I think is such a strong word). As i new mom i have been there too. Not wanting to spoil him. Have you tried a pacifier? It really helped my DH go to bed.

It gets better with time

Thank you. Like I said, I know the popular belief is that you cant spoil them, but it IS a big fear of mine.

We use the paci during the day when he's fussy, but I dont want to give it to him for bed. He has trouble keeping it in his mouth and I know if I give it to him at bed, I'll be up all night putting it back in his mouth 700 times since he screams when it falls out.

If the pacifier is what soothes him, I suggest getting a Wubbanub. I use one for my DD and she loves it. I have been using it from the day that she came home from the hospital. The weight of the animal (that is attached to the pacifier) keeps it in baby's mouth. I have several of them but the red dog is the best IMO. I buy them from eBay. They are about $11.00 and last forever!! Good luck and don't worry about spoiling your baby until after 6 months.

IMAGE

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by Anon4this1

Posted by SweetTooth

Posted by monkeybride

Sorry but I think that is horrible, horrible, horrible to to do to a 2&1/2 week old. Look up Reactive Attachment Disorder. This is the one topic I am strongly opposed to each his own. Newborn need to be held and comforted, not left to CIO. Even a doctor will tell you that.

Geez, I think after 80 responses, the OP gets the point. No need to be so nasty.

I agree. Why so harsh? If I recall, you did not like it when some woman, a NURSE I think, berated you for your DC's crying in the store for so long a few mths back. So why would you berate this poster who thought she was doing the right thing, is new to this and just learning?Homeis4U THOUGHT she was doing the right thing. And after this, she will do what she feels is best, just as you do, and we all do.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by monkeybride

Posted by Anon4this1

Posted by SweetTooth

Posted by monkeybride

Sorry but I think that is horrible, horrible, horrible to to do to a 2&1/2 week old. Look up Reactive Attachment Disorder. This is the one topic I am strongly opposed to each his own. Newborn need to be held and comforted, not left to CIO. Even a doctor will tell you that.

Geez, I think after 80 responses, the OP gets the point. No need to be so nasty.

I agree. Why so harsh? If I recall, you did not like it when some woman, a NURSE I think, berated you for your DC's crying in the store for so long a few mths back. So why would you berate this poster who thought she was doing the right thing, is new to this and just learning?Homeis4U THOUGHT she was doing the right thing. And after this, she will do what she feels is best, just as you do, and we all do.

First...why can't you post under your real name? Say what you have to say without hiding.
And second my son crying in a store while I was doing my best to comfort and soothe him is not the same as putting him in a bassinet to cry himself to sleep at 2 weeks old.
I personally don't see how instinctively that could even feel like the right thing to do. I don't think she's horrible but I do think leaving newborns to cry is horrible. I'm glad she asked and I'm glad she got a lot of responses telling her how awful it is.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by MrsH

Posted by monkeybride

Posted by Anon4this1

Posted by SweetTooth

Posted by monkeybride

Sorry but I think that is horrible, horrible, horrible to to do to a 2&1/2 week old. Look up Reactive Attachment Disorder. This is the one topic I am strongly opposed to each his own. Newborn need to be held and comforted, not left to CIO. Even a doctor will tell you that.

Geez, I think after 80 responses, the OP gets the point. No need to be so nasty.

I agree. Why so harsh? If I recall, you did not like it when some woman, a NURSE I think, berated you for your DC's crying in the store for so long a few mths back. So why would you berate this poster who thought she was doing the right thing, is new to this and just learning?Homeis4U THOUGHT she was doing the right thing. And after this, she will do what she feels is best, just as you do, and we all do.

First...why can't you post under your real name? Say what you have to say without hiding.
And second my son crying in a store while I was doing my best to comfort and soothe him is not the same as putting him in a bassinet to cry himself to sleep at 2 weeks old.
I personally don't see how instinctively that could even feel like the right thing to do. I don't think she's horrible but I do think leaving newborns to cry is horrible. I'm glad she asked and I'm glad she got a lot of responses telling her how awful it is.

I RARELY post but I have to say this is the most meanspirited thing I have ever read on the parenting board. You are questioning this poor woman's instincts as a mom and you are glad that she got a lot of responses as to how awful she is-shame on you! Women are supposed to support one another. Obviously the poster cares about her child and wants to do what is best. If you can't post in the spirit of helping someone, you shouldn't post at all.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I personally dont see a problem with it. I NEVER rocked my children to sleep and yes, sometimes they would cry when I first put them down to bed. On the rare occasions they fell asleep in my arms, when they were put down - sometimes they would cry anyway.

Guess what? They turned out fine and are very independent. They can also fall asleep anywhere.

At that age, I wouldnt let them cry longer than 15 or 20 minutes, and if its a REAL REAL cry I would probably pick him/her up and hold for a few minutes and maybe put in the swing to soothe.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Guys - everyone needs to chill the hell out.

She asked a question. She got answers. If she didn't want any more responses she could pull the thread, many people don't read the entire thread through and just answer the OP question.

If I was a first time mom and doing something that may not be considered "safe" I would hope that I would get this many responses telling me so.

No one is telling her she's a bad mom at all, she's a first time mom - we all make a ton of mistakes - and IMO - that is what this board is here for - to learn from other mothers.

Message edited 8/20/2009 8:25:37 AM.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Sorry, but this can't be filed under "do what works best for you and your family". That might apply to formula vs. BFing, or working vs. SAH, but not in this case. It's like saying "Well I know you didn't MEAN to hurt the baby by watering down his formula, you were just trying to save money in this economy. You have to do what works for you and your family". The OP obviously didn't INTEND any harm to her baby, but it doesn't mean her actions weren't potentially harmful.

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

To the OP-Are you still feeling a bit blue-hormone wise? When reading letting a baby cry for 20 mins no matter the what the AGE screams to me-YOU SHould be SCREENED For PPD.

PPD numbs us from our babies, their cries, their needs and with your hubby deploying..Please please talk to someone.

Yes it's wrong to let a baby cio at that age, but myheart goes out to this new mommy.