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Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron

Member since 4/07

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baby fish mouth

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I hate to say this but I think 2 1/2 weeks old is too young to CIO.

I think you are wrong.

(though I hate saying 'wrong'... I agree with your MIL on this)

ETA; I didn't read the other comments before commenting.. I hope this doesn't make you feel bad... It shouldn't... Being a parent is a learning experience and we all make mistakes...

I think at 2.5 weeks all you need to do is change, feed and CUDDLE with your baby... Its too early to get them on a schedule OR spoil them

don't worry about spoiling them... ENJOY them...

Message edited 8/18/2009 11:28:05 PM.

Posted 8/18/09 11:24 PM
 
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PatsBrat
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by XcalystaX



You should not let an newborn cry it out, at that stage of development it could be harmful to your baby.



I just wanted to add that while crying isn't necessarily the best thing for a new born, this is completely untrue. My son had extreme collic, and if crying for long periods of time as a newborn was damaging, he'd be one messed up kid taday, at 4 years old because he did nothing but cry for the first months of his life.

Posted 8/19/09 2:43 AM
 

Chai77
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I agree with everyone else. But I just wanted to add that although we do not let our 8 week old DS cry for more than a minute or two tops, we have been trying to get him into a routine even now and I think it is working well so far. I just wanted to share with you b/c you are concerned about your DS sleeping at night.

What we do is every night after his feeding between 7 and 8 o'clock, we swaddle him in his crib. Half the time he'll immediately fall asleep. Other times, he'll cry. If he cries, we pick him up right away, hold him, pat him on the back, walk him around, etc. Then we put him to bed again once he's relaxed. After doing that once maybe twice, he'll typically fall asleep for the night. If he keeps on crying though, we do not let him CIO or insist that he stay in his crib. We pick him up and let it go. It's been a process, but right now, he is usually sleeping 7-8 hours through night and I feel good that we have some sort of a routine he is falling into!! Chat Icon

Posted 8/19/09 5:34 AM
 

BeachMom
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Kristie

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I think i'm in the extreme minority here. While i agree that CIO is a little early i also have to say that we've been putting our daughter down to bed since about 1-2 weeks old while she's still making noises. As long as she's not wailing she just now as we call it "talks" herself to sleep. While others have heard her and said she needs to be picked up she goes right to sleep within 5-20 mintes. To me it would depend on the cry and what noises your child is making. Now my DD is 2 1/2 months and we have different kinds of cries and she makes alot of different noises.
Also the binky helped alot at night when we were putting her into bed. She loves it and does self soothe herself and by us doing this she started STTN around 4-5 weeks old and is now sleeping for over 10 hours a night and the dr is very pleased with her schedule and progess since she does have the reflux and is doing great.
I say that only you know what kind of cry or noises that your child is making and trust your judgement as to what the cry or noises are about.
Good luckChat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 8/19/09 6:40 AM
 

adeline27
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Member since 5/06

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Angela

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

My newborn turned 3 weeks old yesterday and I too have a mom that keeps telling me not to pick him so quickly when he cries so that I don't form a habit, but I don't listen. Also when my mom is at my house she is the first one to pop off the couch when DS cries (go figure)

At this early age most of his cries were because of gas pains and he needs me to help soothe them. I can't just leave him laying flat in a bassinet or bouncer feeling all those pains. Yes, as soon as I pick him up all of sudden those gas pains go away Chat Icon but I love that fact that he feels secure with me and feels better.

At night I know it's hard...one night I fed him at 12:30am and he would not go to sleep right after. I held him for two hours!! I finally had to put him down because I was falling asleep while he was in my arms. I gave him a paci and in 5-10 minutes of grunting he was out. My husband hates that I give him the paci (does not want a paci habit) but it helps both me and him so screw what he says.

The first two months are rough but it will get better. You can't spoil him now so please take all the advice here. Good luck!


Edit to add: just like a previous poster said there is a huge difference between little cries and hysterical cries. NEVER leave your newborn down hystericaly crying that is just harsh. When it's little cries I would leave him be and he will calm on his own but not the ones where he turns red and waves his hands, no way.

Message edited 8/19/2009 7:55:26 AM.

Posted 8/19/09 7:53 AM
 

aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

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Ali

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by KateDevine

Yes, you are wrongChat Icon Sorry.

Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bondsChat Icon



I am ALL for CIO, trust me. But i have to agree here. He is just a newborn and you shouldn't be letting him cry right now. Chat Icon

Posted 8/19/09 8:12 AM
 

Bxgell2
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Beth

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

There is no wrong or right way, as long as you aren't harming your baby. YES, the "current" theory is that you should always pick up your baby when they cry, until they are at least 4 months old, but I can guarantee many of us were allowed to "cry it out" much younger by our parents, when the current theory was that you shouldn't spoil a baby, and we all turned out FINE.

I have an almost 5 week old. I don't let her cry it out, so to speak, but when I put her down, I do let her fuss for a few minutes. If she starts crying all out, I pick her up, hold her a little while, and then put her back down. What I try to do is to put her down juuuust when she's sleepy but not quite asleep yet, to get her used to putting herself to sleep. Chat Icon

Posted 8/19/09 8:13 AM
 

Faithx2
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Member since 8/05

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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by JennZ

Posted by KateDevine

Yes, you are wrongChat Icon Sorry.

Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bondsChat Icon



ITA!!!! 2 1/2 weeks is way to early. Cuddle him, smooch him up. this is the time. You can start a routine later.



ITA

Posted 8/19/09 8:29 AM
 

JenandMikey
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Member since 5/07

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We're so blessed!

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by Bxgell2

There is no wrong or right way, as long as you aren't harming your baby. YES, the "current" theory is that you should always pick up your baby when they cry, until they are at least 4 months old, but I can guarantee many of us were allowed to "cry it out" much younger by our parents, when the current theory was that you shouldn't spoil a baby, and we all turned out FINE.

I have an almost 5 week old. I don't let her cry it out, so to speak, but when I put her down, I do let her fuss for a few minutes. If she starts crying all out, I pick her up, hold her a little while, and then put her back down. What I try to do is to put her down juuuust when she's sleepy but not quite asleep yet, to get her used to putting herself to sleep. Chat Icon



absolutely agree with you said!! i did the same thing with my newborn....i had a baby w acid reflux which basicaly mimics colic and like another poster said if it was "harmful" for a baby to cry then my baby would be pretty messed up....there are moments where babies dont get comforted even when being cuddled so to the op the word "wrong" was not needed here....i think sometimes there are "better" ways to deal with situations and its all about making choices for your child....like Bxgell2 said i put my newborn down half sleepy half awake and yes she would fuss/whine and like Bxgell2 said if she cried thats when i would pick her up but otherwise i would put her right back down when she was settled...i thank God i did it this way bc from then on she learned how to put settle herself down to sleep and i never had to do cio or sleep training or anything like that bc i had a baby that slept 8-10hrs a night and three naps or more a day from age 6wks old.....i say trust your instincts (which obviously you have good ones bc it made you question what you were doing in this situation) if you feel you need to change things up bc you dont feel good doing what your doing then so be it but dont let anyone make you feel bad for what you are doing with your child in your family

Posted 8/19/09 9:00 AM
 

JP826
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Member since 9/06

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Me!! All about ME!

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

MY son is one & I hate the idea of letting him CIO. 2 1/2 weeks? I cant even imagine not picking him up.

Posted 8/19/09 9:06 AM
 

ctrain1124
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Member since 8/07

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C

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by KateDevine

Yes, you are wrongChat Icon Sorry.

Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bondsChat Icon



Also completely agree. He is too young to cry. Sorry, I don't believe bad habits can form that early!

Posted 8/19/09 9:11 AM
 

missrock
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Okay, I think the OP got the idea after the first 5 posts that you shouldnt let a newborn cry that long. No need to keep telling her that. She probably feels bad enough.

She is a new mom and some of the responses on this post are a little harsh. Dont tell me that everyone that responded to this post has picked their newborn up the second they started crying...i tend to think its not true.

As a person who has a very needy (somewhat spoiled) 4 month old, I can understand where she is coming from.

Im sorry, but it bothers me that people are made to feel bad when they are so new to this.

Posted 8/19/09 9:29 AM
 

nov06
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I think 2 1/2 weeks is too early. It's impossible to spoil them at that age and they need to feel secure. They grow and change so much so take advantage of this precious time! You're going to miss it one day.Chat Icon

Posted 8/19/09 9:32 AM
 

lmnscc
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Yes, you are wrong. Babies do not have the ability to calm themselves yet or manipulate you into doing what they want. This doesn't start until about 3-4+ months.
Think of it this way...the baby was inside you warm, fed all the time and being rocked 24/7 and now at 2 1/2 weeks you expect the baby to be able to confort itself when everything it had was taken away. Waaaayyyy too soon to worry about bad habits.
Pick the baby up.

Posted 8/19/09 9:36 AM
 

babyonthebrain
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Rafaela

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by KateDevine

Yes, you are wrongChat Icon Sorry.

Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bondsChat Icon



OMG I never thoght I would say this but I agree with her 100000000%%%% Chat Icon

HOLD your baby girl!!!!!!!! That little baby needs to be held as much as possible at this point. The baby experts agree on this you can not spoil a newborn!!!!!!!!!

Posted 8/19/09 9:36 AM
 

mamabear
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

You can't spoil a newborn. At that age, they are not supposed to be learning self soothing skills, they first need to develop security. It's scary for them adjusting to the world and holding and cuddling is what they need at that age to develop that sense of security. You can hold and cuddle your newborn endlessly and you won't spoil him/her and he/she won't develop bad sleep habits as a result. You start worrying about sleep habits and self soothing later on--between 4 and 6 months depending on various things. I used to let my daughter sleep on me for hours at a time. It is a precious time and now she is 8.5 months and doesn't sleep on me and I can't even get her to sleep on me if I try. She hasn't since she was probably 2 months old. They grow so quickly. I know it sounds weird, but cherish the sleepless nights and arms/legs falling asleep because you've been holding your baby so long because the time will fly by and you will miss those days. I have beautiful beautiful memories of just sitting on my couch for hours at a time with my daughter sleeping on me. Best of luck to you!!!

Posted 8/19/09 9:39 AM
 

MommyAgain
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

um guys, i think the OP already posted and said thank you, but she didnt realize..
beating a dead horse anyone?
geez.

Posted 8/19/09 9:40 AM
 

babyonthebrain
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by MrsRivera

Posted by Palebride

You are 1000% wrong.



Ouch.

I think she probably gets it by now...no need to be harsh. My guess is that she asked because she wasn't sure. But some of these responses are making me Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

She asked a question, she got an answer...25 times over!



You're right, I think some were pretty critical, (including me) but I think she got the message loud and clear!

Posted 8/19/09 9:40 AM
 

TaraHutch
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by missrock

Okay, I think the OP got the idea after the first 5 posts that you shouldnt let a newborn cry that long. No need to keep telling her that. She probably feels bad enough.

She is a new mom and some of the responses on this post are a little harsh. Dont tell me that everyone that responded to this post has picked their newborn up the second they started crying...i tend to think its not true.

As a person who has a very needy (somewhat spoiled) 4 month old, I can understand where she is coming from.

Im sorry, but it bothers me that people are made to feel bad when they are so new to this.



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon thank you !! I'm sure she most definitely got the idea!!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 8/19/09 9:43 AM
 

HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron

Member since 4/07

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baby fish mouth

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by MommyAgain

um guys, i think the OP already posted and said thank you, but she didnt realize..
beating a dead horse anyone?
geez.



sometimes people don't read the comments before commenting. I don't usually.

Posted 8/19/09 9:45 AM
 

munchkinbugs
My little loves!

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Lisa

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

I think she got the point.

Now that you know what to do, remember that you truly cannot spoil a newborn. I rocked DD to sleep every night until she was about 6-7 months old. The first 10 weeks she was awake at night until about 3-4 am EVERY NIGHT. It is HARD! But it will get easier. DD started to go to sleep on her own at around 7-8 months. After that point I have put her down to bed every night at 8 pm and she sleeps through the night until around 8 am (7 am on weekdays). She was not spoiled from those sleepless nights and me constantly holding her.

The good news is now you know what to do, and you can comfort and cuddle DS from now going foward. Don't be afraid of the paci, it can be annoying in the beginning, but it has helped me get DD to sleep many nights. And it's true, it does help with SIDS.

Posted 8/19/09 9:48 AM
 

MommyAgain
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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by HeathKernandez

Posted by MommyAgain

um guys, i think the OP already posted and said thank you, but she didnt realize..
beating a dead horse anyone?
geez.



sometimes people don't read the comments before commenting. I don't usually.



i understand, since i read your post saying that you didnt read the post Chat Icon but, i think sometimes it gets ridiculously repetitve on here, and in a negative way, so if i see 3 pages on a "hot topic" i usually skim through to see if what i was gonna say was already said..
just makes sense to me.

Posted 8/19/09 9:49 AM
 

KateDevine
*

Member since 6/06

24950 total posts

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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by babyonthebrain

Posted by KateDevine

Yes, you are wrongChat Icon Sorry.

Your DS is a newborn, he needs to be held. Bad habits are formed MUCH later. At this point, they need that cuddle time and it helps them feel safe and develop bondsChat Icon



OMG I never thoght I would say this but I agree with her 100000000%%%% Chat Icon

HOLD your baby girl!!!!!!!! That little baby needs to be held as much as possible at this point. The baby experts agree on this you can not spoil a newborn!!!!!!!!!




Ummm....okChat Icon

And again, i don't think anyone is being harsh, the OP asked if she was wrong! It is in the subject line!

Yes, wrong is a harsh word, but the OP asked if she was...

Posted 8/19/09 10:13 AM
 

HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron

Member since 4/07

9091 total posts

Name:
baby fish mouth

Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by MommyAgain

Posted by HeathKernandez

Posted by MommyAgain

um guys, i think the OP already posted and said thank you, but she didnt realize..
beating a dead horse anyone?
geez.



sometimes people don't read the comments before commenting. I don't usually.



i understand, since i read your post saying that you didnt read the post Chat Icon but, i think sometimes it gets ridiculously repetitve on here, and in a negative way, so if i see 3 pages on a "hot topic" i usually skim through to see if what i was gonna say was already said..
just makes sense to me.



yeah well my time is precious. I can't be bothered with what OTHER people have to say. only myself

























Chat Icon

Posted 8/19/09 10:14 AM
 

MommyAgain
lovemygermies

Member since 6/08

3195 total posts

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Re: Putting a newborn down to sleep - am I wrong?

Posted by HeathKernandez

Posted by MommyAgain

Posted by HeathKernandez

Posted by MommyAgain

um guys, i think the OP already posted and said thank you, but she didnt realize..
beating a dead horse anyone?
geez.



sometimes people don't read the comments before commenting. I don't usually.



i understand, since i read your post saying that you didnt read the post Chat Icon but, i think sometimes it gets ridiculously repetitve on here, and in a negative way, so if i see 3 pages on a "hot topic" i usually skim through to see if what i was gonna say was already said..
just makes sense to me.



yeah well my time is precious. I can't be bothered with what OTHER people have to say. only myself

























Chat Icon




that was perfect Chat Icon i dont know why i would even ATTEMPT to be PC when im not Chat Icon

Posted 8/19/09 10:28 AM
 
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