QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I am having a little bit of anxiety over the first couple of weeks when my dd comes home with me.. As of right now I am all for my family coming over to see her and just very very very close friends.. My sister said she willl help me the most.. My mother will help but she is getting older now and cant do the things she used to do.. My older sister is useless she will never help me (thats ok I love her for who she is and expect nothing)

This is my point (question) .. Am I going to NOT want anyone here.. is this all a pipe dream in my own mind.. As of right now I am looking forward to it.. I know I have to offer people food and drinks so thats on my sis will do that so whats the big deal.. I am getting mixed reviews on this.. Most people say I MIGHT to be sick exhausted cranky or just want to be left alone.. What are your thoughts on this.. Any life experiences will be very much appreciated..

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

TIA!

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

For me, I LOVED having my family and close friends over. My mother was over from morning to night. We started making up projects for my dad to do, so he stayed the entire day also. I would of been lost without them. My inlaws were over every day for a few hours. Everyday someone was stopping by, cousins, siblings, etc. If I was tired, I would go lay down. I also come from a family where we were always together growing up..so it was nothing different.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I didn't mind having people over at all. But, I didn't BF (not sure if maybe that makes a difference)

My parents and sister were over ALL teh time, as well as my SMIL and my DH's 2 little sisters and brother. As well as DH's partners from work and his uncle his gf

We had our first overnight vistors when DS was 3 weeks old and it was my MIL and SIL.

Honestly, just don't overdo it and you will be fine. I loved showing off my baby and letting people see him

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I was a real mixed-bag of emotions. I would want people over and then when they were there I wanted them to get the hell out, then when they left I cried because I wanted them to come back...seriously!

I don't think you'll really be able to predict how you'll feel at this point. None of us can predict that for you either since it's all really individual.

I'd have people come by for a visit (or help) and if you feel you're not up to it for any reason...you'll just know for the next day to have the company stay home or postpone their visit. One thing I will say though is that NO ONE expects you to have food and drinks for them...I promise! In fact, many people brought food over for me.

Good luck!!

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

It depends on your family dynamic.

I butt heads with my mom big time, so I was just frustrated when she was there.

I was much happier when it was just me and DH marvelling at our new addition.

I didn't mind visitors as long as they knew to:

1. bring food!!
2. keep their visits short (1 hr or so)

I was NOT going to play host period! I had a c-section so there was no way I was cleaning and making sure food was ready for visitors. if your sis wants to do that for you, I think that is great.

Only you know if your family is a help or a hinderance to you.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

Posted by KateDevine

I didn't mind having people over at all. But, I didn't BF (not sure if maybe that makes a difference)

My parents and sister were over ALL teh time, as well as my SMIL and my DH's 2 little sisters and brother. As well as DH's partners from work and his uncle his gf

We had our first overnight vistors when DS was 3 weeks old and it was my MIL and SIL.

Honestly, just don't overdo it and you will be fine. I loved showing off my baby and letting people see him

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

Posted by KateDevine

I didn't mind having people over at all. But, I didn't BF (not sure if maybe that makes a difference)

My parents and sister were over ALL teh time, as well as my SMIL and my DH's 2 little sisters and brother. As well as DH's partners from work and his uncle his gf

We had our first overnight vistors when DS was 3 weeks old and it was my MIL and SIL.

Honestly, just don't overdo it and you will be fine. I loved showing off my baby and letting people see him

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I think since each birth experience is so different, you are going to find a wide range of answers cause ultimately you just never know how you are going to feel... but in my experience I enjoyed having friends and family stop by during that first week.

Everyone was really respectful of us, and called ahead of time, and usually brought snacks and dinners to be shared. At first I felt a little funny to leave my company to go a nurse in another room but I was able to lose that 'not being the hostess with the mostest' guilt early on.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

Posted by dilb712

Posted by KateDevine

I didn't mind having people over at all. But, I didn't BF (not sure if maybe that makes a difference)

My parents and sister were over ALL teh time, as well as my SMIL and my DH's 2 little sisters and brother. As well as DH's partners from work and his uncle his gf

We had our first overnight vistors when DS was 3 weeks old and it was my MIL and SIL.

Honestly, just don't overdo it and you will be fine. I loved showing off my baby and letting people see him

I think your right!!! I would bring food too if I went visiting!!

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I think you will have to wait and see how you feel.

For me, I loved people over but not large groups. One group at a time.

I breastfed and found it nice to be able to say, I have to go and feed the baby. The first few days I didn't know how to juggle the nursing and company but you need to remember your baby comes first and if their unpredictable needs get in the way of a visit so be it!

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I loved having family and close friends over.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I thought I was going to want people around, but I was SO overwhelmed, that the few visitors I allowed over, I actually hid myself away in the bedroom. I didn't want to see anyone and I was just a hormonal and emotional mess. Moreso than I thought I would be.

It really all depends on the person. I was the complete opposite of what I thought I would be and because EXTREAMLY anti-social, for I'd say the first 8 weeks or so.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

Totally think it depends. I didnt want anyone over. Everyone who didnt come to the Hospital to visit wanted to come over. I was having a hard time adjusting and wanted a bit of time with JUST us...baby, me and DH. I asked everyone to wait till 2-3 weeks...except my mom who came over every day.

After that 2-3 weeks passed I felt fine with company and welcomed it.

But I didnt know I would have felt that way till I got home...so I dont think you can predict it ya know?

Cant wait till she is here and see pictures!

eta- I also had a c/section though and the first few days all Iwanted to do was lie on the couch in my PJS...not have to straighten up or serve people drinks etc. I ended up pushing myself too much teh 2nd week home and almost opened my stiches so I think my recovery was a bit different then if I had a vaginal birth and I "may" have felt differntly. Hard to say.

Message edited 6/3/2009 3:18:17 PM.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

With DD (1st baby) we personally wanted the first day home alone just us to spend time together & get to know baby, etc. & work out diaper changes/feedings, etc on our own. We then visited his parents/my parents the next days & then my mom stayed w/ us for 4-5 days to help out & let me get rest.

It's true though, you can't predict how you'll feel. I would be crying one minute & laughing the next. You feel so many emotions & get mad at advice people are giving you & the next minute are welcoming any advice when baby is crying for hours on end (during the much dreaded witching hour/two/three).

With DS we welcomed visitors as soon as we got home; although people have to realize you aren't going to be entertaining & such. They should be there to help or spend a little time w/ baby & get on the road.

Also have DH be the bad guy if you're suddenly not in the mood for people or just say you need to rest.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

You may not be in the mood to 'entertain', but if family and friends are coming over for a short visit or even better, to HELP out and give you some much needed rest...then go for it.

My advice...if someone is offering help...TAKE IT! New moms try to do everything, but I can't stress enough how important it is to get sleep whenever you can.

Good luck!

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I did NOT want anyone over except my Mom!

However, my IL's came and stayed with me to "help" me, and it was a nightmare. I hated every minute of it and ended up sending them home early.

As long as you choose who stays with you carefully (ie, they are going to actually help and not expect to be waited on), you should be fine.

I also only wanted close friends to visit me. I was astounded by the number of people who just "dropped by" without a real invite too.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

i did NOT want anyone to come over the 1st week. they came to the hospital and that was it.. after the first week was over i allowed people in the house...

thats just me....

but i wanted the 1st week of bonding time with DH, Me & DS...

this time around it will be a lil different bc DS has 7 different therapist who will be in and out of the house... but other then those people no family or friends the 1st week again

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

It can go either way depending on the person, the family, etc.

I know for me I was grateful for the help but after a few days, but then I wanted to be left alone. I still wanted help but I felt like I had to entertain whoever was visiting...even my mom (who was extremely helpful). I think she understood because she would come to my house, do a few loads of laundry, cook & then leave.

I was overwhelmed with phone calls, work calls , trying to get things together(I went 6 weeks early and didn't have a baby shower yet). To have a visitor come & stay was the last thing I wanted after a while.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

My good friend Debbie (Smileyd17) had bagels with butter and cream cheese delivered after I had Mattea. It was the BEST thing and we appreciated it beyond words!

Oh, you may want to do this too! When I came home from the hospital, my mother made up a huge tray of Italian cookies, that way whenever I had visitors, I just put them out and made a pot of coffee. Your visitors won't expect anything from you,,so enjoy there company and enjoy showing off your baby girl!!!!!!!!!!!

Message edited 6/3/2009 3:41:17 PM.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

My thing was that I was going to go about what I needed to do that was best for me and the baby not taking into account if I had visitors over or not. If I was tired, I took the baby and we took a nap. I kept the baby with me all the time...sometimes you just want to get away and lay with the baby. I was not going to entertain guests who came and camped out longer than a short visit. When my inlaws were here (nice, but overbearing people)...I actually told them all to go out and get something to eat or whatever since I just wanted some time to myself in my own home.

I think it really depends on the people and whether or not they have the common sense to know what a good amount of time to stay is and how to be helpful. My MIL sleeping in the day after I cam home from the hospital and forcing me and DH to get up with our 2 year old put me over the edge. Can you tell I am still bitter!

Seriously, the guildelines you put down are directly related to your visitors. My family gets it and would swing by, call before to see what I needed at the store, etc. Others visit and expect to be served meals and not lift a finger.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

My mother was over the first couple of days helping me out. I am extremely close with my family and I have a huge family, but I actually was getting a little overwhelmed the first couple of days I was home. I had a c-section, so I wasn't so comfortable and I like entertaining and making people feel comfortable so it was difficult for me to watch my mother or mil rummaging through my kitchen looking for platters, knives, glasses, etc. It was nice when my DS and I were alone and could get into some sort of schedule. I also BF, which i didn't mind doing in front of my MIL and mother, but wasn't doing in front of my male cousins! I agree with one of the posters that you are very emotional - sometimes I wanted be left alone and then when company left, i felt sad. You have to see how you feel when you get home. I was surprised that i wanted it to be just me, my DH and DS b/c I usually love being surrounded by so many people.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

It really depends on your personality, how you are feeling, and how you get along with your family. I appreciated the help around the house, but I also wanted real alone time with the baby. I just wanted to sit and hold my baby a lot of the time without having to interact with anyone. FH's parents came separately (they're divorced) so I felt like I was having guests nonstop. I was worried about having to entertain them when I really just wanted to sit on my couch and hold and nurse my baby. I also had to get over nursing in front of people very quickly. I wanted more privacy with nursing, but that just wasn't possible, so pretty much my entire family is now very familiar with my boobs.