Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

My mother stayed with us for the week after eddie was born....a) bc DH didnt get any time off and b) so we could get some rest. My MIL came over frequently as did my sis and my SIL. i LOVED having them around. I was so tired and in a lot of pain, that it was nice to have the help with the cooking/cleaning/ and being able to take some naps to recover. With that said, the rest of the influx of visitors.....friends, other family, etc....while I love them and appreciate that they cared so much to want to visit, was EXHAUSTING! I was just not up for "entertaining". So immediate family there to help was a blessing, the other visitors that were in and out all day were exhausting.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

If they are close friends and family, I'm sure they will understand you will be a hormonal basket-case and if you don't want them to come over they will understand.

Sometimes its nice just to have someone come over so you can take a nap, not to visit with them.

Sometimes its nice just to have an adult converstation with a meal so you can bounce stuff off of - is this supposed to happen, what color is that supposed to be...

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

for me, it was hell.

my mother stayed with us a week before baby was born, while he was born, and went home the night before I left the hospital.

She arrived back when he was 10 days old.

In the meanwhile, my BIL, SIL, their 2 kids came to celebrate the holidays.

they stayed at a hotel across the street.

it was a nightmare. Brought josh home on a thursday...dh went back to work that night...they arrived friday.

sick. they were all sick. bil had headcold, sil stomach virus, niece scarlet fever, other niece impetago and stomach virus. had christmas eve and morning at my house.

I was nursing. My left boob was the size of my head and I had a fever. I stood guard at my room...not letting anyone in. I could not leave my room since I could not get a bra or shirt on over my boob.

it was terrible.

they left and my sister came. she was a huge help...that was day 8. Then my mother came back who was a tremendous help. she stayed 3 weeks. the day she left for airport, my great marriage flew away with her!

while my mother was there, my other sister and bil came...they were fine. DH's uncle, grandmother, and 2 cousins came...they were fine. it was really just that first week...sick visitors and nursing.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I loved having family over in the beginning. I didn't mind it one bit!

Some people react very differently though!

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

To me having people there was a huge help! My Mom was there one week and my sister another, plus DH took 2 weeks off from work. It wasn't until DSs 3rd week that I was ever alone with him. I was actually really nervous the first day that it was going to be just me, but of course it all worked out fine

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I thought I would be okay with it, but the more people kept coming, and I soooo didn't want them to. I was tired as hell, trying to adjust, breastfeeding, and in no mood to entertain guests. The only person I didn't mind was my mommy...in fact, I needed her desperately

Also, some people just can't take a hint when enough is enough. An hour or 2 is fine..5 ior 6 is a bit much.

So for baby #2, I would like no visitors for at least a week..it was just too much to handle

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

if I had to do it over again...the only company invited over in first week are people who I am okay with seeing my boobs...since they were always out.

that's what made it hard...

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

Posted by mydreamisabelle

Posted by dilb712

I am having a little bit of anxiety over the first couple of weeks when my dd comes home with me.. As of right now I am all for my family coming over to see her and just very very very close friends.. My sister said she willl help me the most.. My mother will help but she is getting older now and cant do the things she used to do.. My older sister is useless she will never help me (thats ok I love her for who she is and expect nothing)

I see that everyone is mixed on this subject. I am sure your sister will be the biggest help of all for you and she will do whatever you need for her to do,even kicking people out if you don't want them there. I am sure you know you can depend on her for all of your needs always. She will make sure everything goes how you want it to and if you get overwhekmed you can depend on her. I am sure you know why. I love you and I am that sister you are talking about and I will be there for you always.

I love you!! Thank you and you made me cry!!

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

My parents stayed with me for close to 3 weeks. My parents live out of state so it was such a pleasure to have my mom help me out. Especially with the cooking and cleaning. I was okay for visitors but I wasn't okay with little kids visiting until Lucy was 8 weeks. But, then again she was born in the Winter and I am not sure if I would of reacted the same if she was born in the summer. YOu are going to be a GREAT mom!

Message edited 6/3/2009 7:01:03 PM.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

Posted by Eireann

I was a real mixed-bag of emotions. I would want people over and then when they were there I wanted them to get the hell out, then when they left I cried because I wanted them to come back...seriously!

I don't think you'll really be able to predict how you'll feel at this point. None of us can predict that for you either since it's all really individual.

I'd have people come by for a visit (or help) and if you feel you're not up to it for any reason...you'll just know for the next day to have the company stay home or postpone their visit. One thing I will say though is that NO ONE expects you to have food and drinks for them...I promise! In fact, many people brought food over for me.

Good luck!!

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

my ds came home when he was 10 days old out of the ICU...

At that point i myself was mostly healed but I still felt like i didnt want to share my baby yet... i wanted personal time to bond with him...

Also with the swine flu you may want to consider restricting the visitors in the first couple of weeks anways to the closest family. (as my husband says, the baby has years ahead of him so people waiting x amount of weeks insnt so bad)

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I knew I would not anyone over often and I was right in the end. People asking you where this or that is, so much commotion when you just want to rest. It's exhausting the first few weeks, just getting a hang of it all.

I hear all too often many family members who want to "help" often turn out more of an annoyance than a help.

I put it out there from the start that THANK you but no thank you, we need our space.

But some people love it so to each is own. I was anxious about this too, FYI.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

for us my parents stayed with us for a week and a 1/2 (they dont live in NY)and my inlaws came over 2 not everyday but a few times the first week ~ along with some family and friends! I loved having them over since I was a first time mom (I babysat in the past) but for some reason it is different when it is your own ~ I needed the help of my mom for the littlest things and am grateful they were there to bond with our DS. Plus it was nice to not have to worry about cooking and cleaning the first week (plus my DH started a new job the week after DS was born) I had to have a csection so I was blessed to have all the help of family & friends Good Luck!

Message edited 6/3/2009 8:06:06 PM.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I honestly didn't want anyone else around but DH. I loved that time we spent together as a new family.

My mom came for 2 weeks after DH went back to work. She was going to come for a month, but I really didn't even need her. It was nice to have the company, but I was ready to be on my own and develop a routine....
Now that they are older I think it would be nice to have her around a few days a week so I could get more stuff done around the house! Those first few weeks they sleep so much, I wish all the offers for help would come later lol.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

For me, I loved having family around especially my my and MIL. I had a c-section, so I needed the extra help, but at the same time, DH and I also liked being alone with DD. We had a nice balance and friends were pretty cool in backing off for a while and then after a month or so, we started allowing more people to come over.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

With my 1st DD I was all for the guests as long as it wasnt for the enitre day. DD #2, now, I am really enjoying the quiet time I am getting. Its too much with 2 kids and I am tired dont feel like entertaining and you feel like you have to in a way. I have a habit of having to have the house clean so I am running around cleaning etc... JMO

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

DS wanted to be held 24/7. DH was the only one who was with me the first few days home from the hospital, but I would've appreciated the help. I was so sleep deprived and still in some pain from the c-section. My parents came for 2 days when DS was 1 week old and for long weekends when DS was 2 weeks old and 3 weeks old. I was really glad they were here. My mom helped with the laundry and my parents took over some night shifts with DS so we could get some sleep.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I wanted no one here and I'm soo glad I was alone. I needed to get a routine w/o anyone bothering me, lol! Its not difficult you don't really need help !!

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

If visitors come make sure they know to
1. Bring food
2. Stay for a SHORT time
3. Help you with ANYTHING you need (laundy, dishes, getting you drinks)

They best when when someone came for an hour and brough lunch/dinner and I didnt have to move from the couch or nursing the baby. Nobody should expect you to be waiting on them. Personally, I didnt want ANY family staying over night, that was way too overwhelming.

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I liked having people over, but one of my boys didn't come home until a week after they were born. People had to come over to watch one if we wanted to go see our other son. I never felt any pressure to clean or make anyone feel comfortable or be a good hostess. Truthfully, I didn't care if they were thirsty or not. Get a drink, if there was nothing there, run to the deli and get a bottle of soda, LOL.

I also found that when someone called and ask if I needed anything or could do anything, I gave them a job, and didn't say no that's okay. It was hard to accept the help, but totally necessary the first few weeks. (hell the first few years!)

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

I think if people come they know not to expect too much.. I just hope I am not to exhausted to take a shower and make myself look a little decent.. I want to try to be presentable.. Thats my vanity it will always be there.. but it has gotten better through the years..

Re: QUESTION: FOR THE 1ST WEEK YOU DC COMES HOME FROM HOSPITAL.

After having 2 kids and tons of visitors I will say that for the 1st week you will want someone there that will help you---i mean HELP....like Hold the baby while you take a shower, make dinner while u rest or answer phone calls...you are not going to want to hostess