Re: SAHM who use Daycare

If I had that type of money I would get a nanny.

I could see using daycare 1 or 2 days a week, depending on the child's age- not an infant.

I personally would be bored at home alone.

Who know though, maybe she's dealing with PPD or something.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

nice to have the option but I wouldn"t do it.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

Posted by DPerotti

whatever floats her boat but *I* couldn't imagine being a SAHM and having my child in daycare FULL TIME. 2x a week, I could see b/c let's face it sometimes it is WAY easier to run errands, get a haircut, breathe without the LOs

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

Posted by Tine73

Posted by wowcoulditbe

I send my three yr old twice a week right now...just b/c she's always gone up until this yr f/t and when her sister was born, we wanted to keep her sched the same, plus its good for her socially!

Ditto for my 2 year old.

I don't see anything wrong with it. Maybe she doesn't like being a SAHM and doesn't want to or need to work.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

I don't get it. Why SAH if your kid isn't there? I would totally get a job in that situation-- obviously money is not a driving factor here (if you can afford full time daycare while SAH) so the job could maybe even be something I always wanted to get into but wasn't lucrative, maybe try to start my own business. Or I might go back to school for something.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

*I* could never do that.

I am a teacher and am off a lot. I have never once even kept her my my mom or MIL for the day while I was off. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I even left her there for an hour or two to run an errand or go to the dr.

I feel the need to be with her every frekking second. I dont think it is good to be like that though, and if I had the option I would send her 2x a week bc I think daycare is AWESOME for kids for so many reasons.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

I've find that completely stange... Ive NEVER heard of that before!
Honestly... part of being a sahm is that you bring your kids with you on errands and for whatever else you need to get done. Most sahms dont have the luxury of getting nails, hair, shopping or other things done "alone"

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

Definitely strange to me, she may as well at least work then and make some $$.

I'm like Jen....I work 4 days/week and spend every other second with DD. I can count on one hand the # of times (in 3 years) I've left her with MIL/etc so that I could do something for me (even doc appt, etc)...I just want to be with her every second that I am not working.

But again, to each their own I suppose

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

i couldn't call myself a SAHM if i was in that situation. "housewife" fits the bill more appropriately.

i am not a SAHM but wish i was desperately. when i was on maternity, i had my mom come and watch the kids while they were mostly napping so i could run errands or go to the gym. an hour here or there let me be home alone with them more because i got the errands done faster and therefore was home more to play with them.

i could never have had them watch the kids full time while i went out and did my own thing. that negates the concept of staying at home with your kids.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

if a mom has her kids in daycare f/t, and doesn't work, well, she's not really a sahm. she's just able to afford not to work I guess. i dont think it will harm the child if the child/children like daycare. Personally, I would never put my kids in daycare f/t if I didn't have to work. I miss my kids like crazy when I'm not with them. 1 day a week for a break,, to run errands, yes. But more than that, I would be sad and would miss them.

Message edited 5/28/2010 9:48:47 PM.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

My Mom was a SAHM and though I was never put in day care, she did program playdates with neighborhood children once I was about 2 at their homes. There were about 4 or 5 of us that would rotate homes and the moms would drop off the kids. Every mom needs a mental health day. I for one am waiting for MY mental health day, but I digress.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

If you have more than one child, and put the older one in daycare, I can see that.

I can also see using daycare a few days a week to give yourself time for errands, alone time, etc.

I cannot fathom paying for full time childcare if I didn't work at all.

I am a SAHM. I quit my job to do this, and now taking care of my children is my job. I would not feel right spending money to have someone else watch my kids if I didn't bring in any income.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

Reminds me of the mom on Nanny Diaries. She too doesn't work but hired a fulltime nanny so she can spend most of her day being a soclalite.

Maybe the OP's friend is that kind of person who believes her life is more important than spending time with her child.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

The only issue I really have with it is when they continue to call themselves Stay at Home Moms.

To me, that means you are staying at home to be a mom during the day.

They need a new term.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

To each their own but don't say you're a SAHM if you're home & your children are in daycare 5 days a week. If you do this to get housework done than you're a housewife IMO.

I agree that 1-2 days a week is good for socializing skills & to get a chance to do errands without children in tow or just have time to yourself - if you can afford to do this.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

This story just made me really sad... I think daycare/preschool type of environment is great for building social skills in older toddlers and kids do need it after a certain age, but sending a one year old to daycare full time while the mother stays home is terrible... and so unfair to all those working moms who must go to work everyday to pay bills and can not spend the days with their little ones... ( inserting an obligatory "just my own opinion, of course )

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

I don't know, something about that just doesn't sit right with me. I could see sending the baby one or even two days a week, but 5 days a week at age one when you're just sitting home seems like copping out on being a mom. If the kid was older, that might be different, but then a preschool setting might be better for the kid.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

I know someone who sent their child part time b/c they were also a caregivier to an elderly parent and made sure to schedule doctors appointments for those times.

Other than that I don't personally know any SAHMs that send DC to daycare. But I send both of my kids to preschool for a few hours every day. And I know SAHMs that have a nanny or mother's helper so they can get stuff done without the kids in the way.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

First of all, I don't think I could do this if I wanted to since daycare where I live is quite scarce, long waiting lists, and a couple centers don't even consider taking children unless both parents work part-time at least. So her doing this irks me on a whole other level--if she is taking a spot from a working parent who really needs daycare, it doesn't seem right at all. But I probably wouldn't consider this if I didn't live in an area where daycare is a very scarce resource.

Other than that, I find it strange to be a SAHM and send your kid to daycare every day full-time, though that's my personal opinion. If this is what works best for her and her family, so be it. The socialization is good, and I'm not sure of the child's age, but particularly so if the child is preschool age and would be going to school a bit anyway.

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

Posted by WhatNow

This story just made me really sad... I think daycare/preschool type of environment is great for building social skills in older toddlers and kids do need it after a certain age, but sending a one year old to daycare full time while the mother stays home is terrible... and so unfair to all those working moms who must go to work everyday to pay bills and can not spend the days with their little ones... ( inserting an obligatory "just my own opinion, of course )

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

Am I a bad mother for putting my son in daycare on my weeks off? Sometimes you need a break!

Re: SAHM who use Daycare

Posted by Nik211

Posted by WhatNow

This story just made me really sad... I think daycare/preschool type of environment is great for building social skills in older toddlers and kids do need it after a certain age, but sending a one year old to daycare full time while the mother stays home is terrible... and so unfair to all those working moms who must go to work everyday to pay bills and can not spend the days with their little ones... ( inserting an obligatory "just my own opinion, of course )

i know it's just your opinion and that is fine, we are all entitled to have our own opinions about this....but i don't know why it's terrible? and why is it unfair to working moms?

if day care is good enough for a working mom why isn't it good enough and terrible for a non-working mom?

and why is it unfair to working moms? that sounds like jealousy - everyone is dealt a different hand in life and you make what you can out of it...this person has the luxury of not having to work, i say good for her...