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SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by busymomonli
I don't know. I have been on and off part time/full time (mostly full time the past few years), but when I was part time and my kids were at school, my days off were a piece of cake compared to my work days. Get up, do what you want when you want to. Granted, it got a little busier when they got home, but still waaay easier. My stress level was so much lower on those days that even family members noticed.
Yep I am so much calmer. My kids are older too so many times when they come home, one goes in their room to read or go on the ipad and the other one naps. I am able to run out to the store or do something with them whenever I want and basically make my own day.
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Posted 1/20/16 11:43 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
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Message edited 1/21/2016 6:21:51 AM.
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| Posted 1/20/16 11:51 AM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by itsbabytime
Posted by busymomonli
Kind of off topic slightly, but I really hate when SAHM's with kids in school all day post meme's on Facebook that say "Thank God its Friday".
I always want to respond, "really, because I'm pretty sure that your Friday is just like your Monday through Thursday"...
Maybe I am wrong in thinking this?
Well I can only speak for myself but, yes, I do think you are wrong for thinking this. On school days I am up 5:30 to make sure my kids have what they need for the day (lunches, snacks, clean clothes, backpacks ready etc.), I shower and try to be somewhat ready. Kids are up 7am. Get everyone ready and out of the house. I come home and quickly straighten up and then most days I am out of the house again within 30 min. I am at one of my kids schools many if not most day throughout the week. I also volunteer for neighborhood things as well. Then, I am running around in between doing grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, shopping etc. Working on emails, prepping for daisy meetings and school related events, etc. etc. etc. Then, when I pick up my kids my day is NON-STOP until I go to sleep. Once my kids are asleep - more cleaning, laundry, prepping, emails for school and volunteer related activities. I usually don't go to bed until midnight and then 5:30 comes and it starts all over again. So yes, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the weekends when things are less intense.
Hope that helps you see the other side. If you spent one day in my shoes you would see you are no less busy than me. 
ETA: Coffee, Lunches, exercise, nails, hair, doctors appt. - these are all luxuries I try to fit in once a month or so.
That is why I asked as I know many people do many things but for the majority, I think the day is open for most women.
You volunteer at school almost everyday? What for? Once they get into middle or high school, I can't see doing that anymore.
I think maybe your kids are younger and there are more things going on too.
I still do food shopping on the weekend, a load of laundry a day.
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| Posted 1/20/16 11:57 AM |
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Smileyd17
kids
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Mommy
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Pumpkin1
Meh, taking care of your kids full-time is a job just like any other job (i.e. demands, stress, schedules, etc.). We all look forward to weekends, where those demands, stresses and schedules are different.
Agree whole heartily why I couldn't be nor capable of being a SAHM but I can see it also being a lot easier for some based on being able to food shop, clean, get kids to and from sports or activities. Gym. meeting some friends, play dates etc.
For me, I work f/t- and my day doesn't end since I go straight home, dinners, cleaning, etc but I do it alone since I have a DH who works 11-11pm. I limit activities because I always have 3 in tow.
I call myself the single mom.
I don't go to a gym- the one time I do go to zumba I have to pay the sitter to come back and pay for zumba, the sitter who gets my kids from 3-5:15 everyday.
Why I said I was jealous. :)
Just want to tell you a quick story- At Walgreens Mon night, waiting for meds, all 3 kids with me. We are sitting, the kids are restless, im saying sit down, please. almost done. Lady next to me states, WHY I LEAVE MINE AT HOME, a chuckle.
I said in return, I don't have a choice.
You just never know ppls situation. :)
Message edited 1/20/2016 12:27:29 PM.
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| Posted 1/20/16 12:25 PM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by itsbabytime
Posted by busymomonli
Kind of off topic slightly, but I really hate when SAHM's with kids in school all day post meme's on Facebook that say "Thank God its Friday".
I always want to respond, "really, because I'm pretty sure that your Friday is just like your Monday through Thursday"...
Maybe I am wrong in thinking this?
Well I can only speak for myself but, yes, I do think you are wrong for thinking this. On school days I am up 5:30 to make sure my kids have what they need for the day (lunches, snacks, clean clothes, backpacks ready etc.), I shower and try to be somewhat ready. Kids are up 7am. Get everyone ready and out of the house. I come home and quickly straighten up and then most days I am out of the house again within 30 min. I am at one of my kids schools many if not most day throughout the week. I also volunteer for neighborhood things as well. Then, I am running around in between doing grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, shopping etc. Working on emails, prepping for daisy meetings and school related events, etc. etc. etc. Then, when I pick up my kids my day is NON-STOP until I go to sleep. Once my kids are asleep - more cleaning, laundry, prepping, emails for school and volunteer related activities. I usually don't go to bed until midnight and then 5:30 comes and it starts all over again. So yes, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the weekends when things are less intense.
Hope that helps you see the other side. If you spent one day in my shoes you would see you are no less busy than me.
ETA: Coffee, Lunches, exercise, nails, hair, doctors appt. - these are all luxuries I try to fit in once a month or so.
I guess my understanding is, most of these are things you choose to do to stay busy. Most people with kids at school don't do as much and so there is more free time. And, yes, as they get older they do not require (nor allow) as much class time for parents.
I'm still not necessarily swayed that a stay at home parent with kids in school could be as busy as a FTWM. Other than volunteering at school, we are virtually doing the exact same things only I am squeezing a 9 hour work day in the middle. Please don't take offense by this, I do not mean to offend. It's just that I have been on both sides and definitely feel that staying home is easier (with kids in school that is).
Most every day, I feel as if I am on the verge of a nervous break down. And I never felt that way when I was home.
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| Posted 1/20/16 12:31 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
I have done both. Worked FT and had a long commute till DD was in kindergarten. Most days I left the house around 545 to get on the train.
When I quit she was only in school for a half a day. I have worked from home, freelancing, nearly the entire time she has been in school. But I was never as busy or stressed. It was significantly easier to be on top of laundry and grocery shopping.
Even though I nearly always had some kind of paid work to do, it was flexible and sometimes I worked after DD went to bed. The work was also not constant and there were times when I had none.
I volunteered in the school library, became a Daisy leader and did PTA events when needed. In some ways my schedule was more hectic because of multiple commitments and DD increasing her involvement with activities and having to be all over town. But staying home and finding ways to occupy my time was WAY less stressful and tiring than getting up before 5 am and working all day. Now I work part time, and it's local, and I am very lucky because I still have time to do things I didn't do when I worked f/t and commuted.
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| Posted 1/20/16 12:46 PM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
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SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
This is one of those arguments that will go on until the end of time.
I am a FTWM - I think the demands of a job outside the home are completely different than the stress of being a SAHM. Not more or less, but categorically different.
When I come to work - I have to be in work mode. I have to be on point, remember minute details, answer to not only my boss but the hordes of people needing info, needing my boss, coordinating this, coordinating that. I don't see my kid for 9 hours of the day. Knowing at any second my boss needs or wants something that I have no idea if I have the answer for. Making sure I have a plan for dinner, squeezing in errands on my (nonexistent) lunch break, doing laundry at 10pm. Answering emails at 6am before I even take a shower. That's the reality of my working life.
When I'm at home, yes, I am doing lots of things, running errands, cleaning, cooking...but I'm not answering to anyone. I can do what I want. I don't have to schedule conference calls, or set up meetings, or make sure my boss has what he needs at a seconds notice. I can watch movies all damn day and order pizza and sit in my underwear. That level of "busy" is totally different than a working mom's "busy."
I don't worry about what anyone else does with their time. They're able to stay at home, that's great for them. I wish I could. But my reality is very different from their's and I see no point in trying to make them equal.
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| Posted 1/20/16 12:46 PM |
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busymomonli
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Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Kitten1929
This is one of those arguments that will go on until the end of time.
I am a FTWM - I think the demands of a job outside the home are completely different than the stress of being a SAHM. Not more or less, but categorically different.
When I come to work - I have to be in work mode. I have to be on point, remember minute details, answer to not only my boss but the hordes of people needing info, needing my boss, coordinating this, coordinating that. I don't see my kid for 9 hours of the day. Knowing at any second my boss needs or wants something that I have no idea if I have the answer for. Making sure I have a plan for dinner, squeezing in errands on my (nonexistent) lunch break, doing laundry at 10pm. Answering emails at 6am before I even take a shower. That's the reality of my working life.
When I'm at home, yes, I am doing lots of things, running errands, cleaning, cooking...but I'm not answering to anyone. I can do what I want. I don't have to schedule conference calls, or set up meetings, or make sure my boss has what he needs at a seconds notice. I can watch movies all damn day and order pizza and sit in my underwear. That level of "busy" is totally different than a working mom's "busy."
I don't worry about what anyone else does with their time. They're able to stay at home, that's great for them. I wish I could. But my reality is very different from their's and I see no point in trying to make them equal.
Well said. I think I am just "jelly". haha.
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| Posted 1/20/16 12:49 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Kitten1929
This is one of those arguments that will go on until the end of time.
I am a FTWM - I think the demands of a job outside the home are completely different than the stress of being a SAHM. Not more or less, but categorically different.
When I come to work - I have to be in work mode. I have to be on point, remember minute details, answer to not only my boss but the hordes of people needing info, needing my boss, coordinating this, coordinating that. I don't see my kid for 9 hours of the day. Knowing at any second my boss needs or wants something that I have no idea if I have the answer for. Making sure I have a plan for dinner, squeezing in errands on my (nonexistent) lunch break, doing laundry at 10pm. Answering emails at 6am before I even take a shower. That's the reality of my working life.
When I'm at home, yes, I am doing lots of things, running errands, cleaning, cooking...but I'm not answering to anyone. I can do what I want. I don't have to schedule conference calls, or set up meetings, or make sure my boss has what he needs at a seconds notice. I can watch movies all damn day and order pizza and sit in my underwear. That level of "busy" is totally different than a working mom's "busy."
I don't worry about what anyone else does with their time. They're able to stay at home, that's great for them. I wish I could. But my reality is very different from their's and I see no point in trying to make them equal.
Exactly my point and wondered if this was the same for other moms who are home or I was just being lazy lol.
I wish I didn't have to find a job. I would love just part time with some days off while the kids are in school but that is not reality for me.
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| Posted 1/20/16 12:53 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by itsbabytime
Posted by busymomonli
Kind of off topic slightly, but I really hate when SAHM's with kids in school all day post meme's on Facebook that say "Thank God its Friday".
I always want to respond, "really, because I'm pretty sure that your Friday is just like your Monday through Thursday"...
Maybe I am wrong in thinking this?
Well I can only speak for myself but, yes, I do think you are wrong for thinking this. On school days I am up 5:30 to make sure my kids have what they need for the day (lunches, snacks, clean clothes, backpacks ready etc.), I shower and try to be somewhat ready. Kids are up 7am. Get everyone ready and out of the house. I come home and quickly straighten up and then most days I am out of the house again within 30 min. I am at one of my kids schools many if not most day throughout the week. I also volunteer for neighborhood things as well. Then, I am running around in between doing grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, shopping etc. Working on emails, prepping for daisy meetings and school related events, etc. etc. etc. Then, when I pick up my kids my day is NON-STOP until I go to sleep. Once my kids are asleep - more cleaning, laundry, prepping, emails for school and volunteer related activities. I usually don't go to bed until midnight and then 5:30 comes and it starts all over again. So yes, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the weekends when things are less intense.
Hope that helps you see the other side. If you spent one day in my shoes you would see you are no less busy than me.
ETA: Coffee, Lunches, exercise, nails, hair, doctors appt. - these are all luxuries I try to fit in once a month or so.
My God, you clean a lot.
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| Posted 1/20/16 12:54 PM |
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starlitdragon
Me and my love
Member since 3/13 1301 total posts
Name:
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SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
I take care of my mom. Cook for her, clean for her, take her around to doctor appointments. Help her in and out of bed and of the bathroom, etc. She's wheelchair bound and dependent. Then when I get my DS, I take care of him and my mom together. Weekends I usually spend cleaning my own house, lol.
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| Posted 1/20/16 1:28 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
I think it really depends. My daughter is special needs and I am more busy now than when I was working. I am up at school almost daily meeting with teachers/therapists/behaviorists, a multitude of doctors appointments and paperwork, cook. laundry, run errands, take care of all house repairs, etc. I am also president of the school PTA and the special education PTA which both should be considered a full time job and I volunteer for anything I can at school. Now yes, there are still days I get to lounge in my PJs until 1 pm or go out to lunch with my friends but that is the exception rather than the norm. I would take going back to work in a second if I could and it would be a lot easier. My husband always complains about going on business trips and I would absolutely be THRILLED if I could go on one lol.
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| Posted 1/20/16 1:34 PM |
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Sonervous
LIF Infant
Member since 1/13 184 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
I stayed home for 2 years I absolutely hated it. you can only clean so much I was bored to tears. Sometimes I just didn't feel like going to the park or library for the 10th time that week. I give so much credit to Sahm, you have to have some real patience. I can't imagine what I would do with myself if the kids were in school full time ( my oldest was in pre k half day). I would probably fall into a deep depression and watch Netflix all day!
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| Posted 1/20/16 1:36 PM |
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mommyagain3
LIF Infant
Member since 6/15 144 total posts
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
I'm not going to comment too much on a SAHM's day and how it's filled. A lot depends on the person. I carry a lot of hats so my days home are very busy for the most part. I thought I would have more time to myself. I do also work pt so I am only home a few days during the week.
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| Posted 1/20/16 1:52 PM |
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WonderLady
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Member since 1/15 355 total posts
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SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
I work 3 days and on my 2 days off that the kids r in school usually I cram a million things into one of the days and spend the other one watching tv and looking at my phone, lol.
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| Posted 1/20/16 2:01 PM |
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wakemeup
Member since 10/13 1397 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
I am a SAHM and I am admittedly very lazy. Kids get private transport to school so I don't drive them or pick them up. They are gone from 7:30 am to 4:30pm.
I go to the gym 2-3 times a week but that's for an hour or so in the morning. After that I shower, run errands, clean the house (bare minimum, except a deep clean maybe once a month). I prep meals, Pinterest things I will never cook or wear, shop on Target and Amazon online (I'm in Canada, no Target here), and watch TV or read. I very rarely go out with friends because either they work or their kids are not school aged so they don't invite me for playdates anymore  I would go outside more, but again... it's Canada. Spring lasts 1 day and summer lasts 1 month. And I hate the cold.
Once my kids get home it's non-stop for 3 hours, cooking, homework, reading, yelling Then showers and they are in bed.
You're damn right I look forward to the weekends! No homework, PJs all day, kids relax with their tablets and games and I do squat!
ETA: I should add, when we came up here, it was with the understanding that I would be a SAHM because our kids were so little. When we move back to the states they will be 8 and 6 and I will gladly go back to work! As much fun as it's been staying home and lazing about all day, popping bon bons into my mouth, I need more regular adult interaction and I know the best way to make new friends in a new place will be with a job.
Message edited 1/20/2016 2:13:19 PM.
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| Posted 1/20/16 2:11 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
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Marisa
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
I have learned that everyone's reality is different -
What is 'easy' for one, is a HUGE effort for another.
What is Priority #1 for one person, is #10 for another
There are way too many factors in everyone's life to say "It would be so much easier to be a SAHM" .......well, maybe for YOU, it would - but, the woman who just described her day to day as Pres of the PTA and SEPTA thinks it would be easier to go to work FT -
You can't argue with that - maybe, it WOULD be easier, for HER to go to work FT based on her reality. The chance of all of the variables in one mother's life being exactly the same as another's are slim to none.
Every person handles their responsibilities, time, life differently -
there are no two working mothers who have the exact same deal, no two SAH mothers who have the exact same routine while the kids are at school .........
it's really pointless to even bother asking another person that question, unless their situation is VERY similar to yours and you're looking for ways to imporve your day to day
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| Posted 1/20/16 2:15 PM |
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bunnyluck
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Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Love when this thread pops up!
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| Posted 1/20/16 2:20 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
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A
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by MarisaK
I have learned that everyone's reality is different -
What is 'easy' for one, is a HUGE effort for another.
What is Priority #1 for one person, is #10 for another
 Exactly!
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| Posted 1/20/16 2:20 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by MarisaK
I have learned that everyone's reality is different -
What is 'easy' for one, is a HUGE effort for another.
What is Priority #1 for one person, is #10 for another
There are way too many factors in everyone's life to say "It would be so much easier to be a SAHM" .......well, maybe for YOU, it would - but, the woman who just described her day to day as Pres of the PTA and SEPTA thinks it would be easier to go to work FT -
You can't argue with that - maybe, it WOULD be easier, for HER to go to work FT based on her reality. The chance of all of the variables in one mother's life being exactly the same as another's are slim to none.
Every person handles their responsibilities, time, life differently -
there are no two working mothers who have the exact same deal, no two SAH mothers who have the exact same routine while the kids are at school .........
it's really pointless to even bother asking another person that question, unless their situation is VERY similar to yours and you're looking for ways to imporve your day to day
I basically asked as this is the first time I have been home for an extended period of time with kids in school. It actually came from my dh the other day who was off from work and said he can't understand what people do all day home lol. I started wondering what my mother did, besides cleaning as she dusted every day and had the house immaculate. It seems too easy and that I must be doing something wrong lol. I do job hunt all day and night though so it is not like I do nothing and that is quite frustrating.
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| Posted 1/20/16 2:37 PM |
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2boys1girl
and one more girl on the way!
Member since 5/10 2954 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by MarisaK
I have learned that everyone's reality is different -
What is 'easy' for one, is a HUGE effort for another.
What is Priority #1 for one person, is #10 for another
There are way too many factors in everyone's life to say "It would be so much easier to be a SAHM" .......well, maybe for YOU, it would - but, the woman who just described her day to day as Pres of the PTA and SEPTA thinks it would be easier to go to work FT -
You can't argue with that - maybe, it WOULD be easier, for HER to go to work FT based on her reality. The chance of all of the variables in one mother's life being exactly the same as another's are slim to none.
Every person handles their responsibilities, time, life differently -
there are no two working mothers who have the exact same deal, no two SAH mothers who have the exact same routine while the kids are at school .........
it's really pointless to even bother asking another person that question, unless their situation is VERY similar to yours and you're looking for ways to imporve your day to day
This really is true I am a FTWM
I have 4 children ages 12,9,5 and 6 months old.
I am a daisy leader, PTA Treasurer, Team Mom for my daughters year round competition cheer team, Pack committee chair for cub scouts, merit badge counselor for Boy scouts...the list literally goes on.
I make it work, it works for me.
Chaos is my sanity.
I don't envy anyone's situation. I don't want to stay home all day...I would probably do less because I would be on Netflix all day lol. My town is 99% SAHM's.
Message edited 1/20/2016 2:48:54 PM.
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| Posted 1/20/16 2:46 PM |
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NewLeaf2012
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 2741 total posts
Name:
....
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Pumpkin1
Posted by busymomonli
Kind of off topic slightly, but I really hate when SAHM's with kids in school all day post meme's on Facebook that say "Thank God its Friday".
I always want to respond, "really, because I'm pretty sure that your Friday is just like your Monday through Thursday"...
Maybe I am wrong in thinking this?
Meh, taking care of your kids full-time is a job just like any other job (i.e. demands, stress, schedules, etc.). We all look forward to weekends, where those demands, stresses and schedules are different.
This.... I am a sahm and my son is in school all day. Some days I am more busy then when I worked outside the home...I can't wait for the weekends!
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| Posted 1/20/16 4:51 PM |
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Bebelove
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/12 742 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Smileyd17
Posted by JennZ
Clean cook, lunch with friends, nothing. Lol
And that right there makes me jealous.
Lucky you are able to be in that position.
Many men and women prepare for years in order to be able to stay home. It's not just about luck
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| Posted 1/20/16 5:19 PM |
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Bebelove
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/12 742 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
My kids are gone for 6 hours a day. I cook breakfast and lunch for them in the mornings, once they leave I clean up the mess and make my own breakfast. I go to the gym, food shop, do all errands , cleaning , laundry during the day. I meet up with family / friends sometimes, catch up on shows, volunteer at school, etc.
These are the positives:
If I'm sick/ tired I take it easy.
If the kids are sick, have half day, up all night sick, snow day, vacation days, I never have to worry.
If DH travels, has a long day, etc I don't have to worry. He doesn't have to worry.
By 8pm, DH and I are relaxing together watching a show or chatting.
Our weekends are free besides kids activities and family / friend functions. I can get everything done during the week.
The kids and the husband have it very easy.
I get bored sometimes!! I also had parents that worked a LOT. If I got sick as a kid, I was at the sitters house miserable. If my parents were late getting home from work, too bad.
Having a SAHP can be a luxury for the whole family (not just the parent staying home). I've worked full time and know exactly how it is. I'm busy now, as I was busy at work. Having 2 parents with very heavy careers and long hours makes for a really hard family life, we have BTDT.
I will work FT again but for right now, this is how it is.
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| Posted 1/20/16 5:41 PM |
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Bebelove
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/12 742 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by MarisaK
I have learned that everyone's reality is different -
What is 'easy' for one, is a HUGE effort for another.
What is Priority #1 for one person, is #10 for another
There are way too many factors in everyone's life to say "It would be so much easier to be a SAHM" .......well, maybe for YOU, it would - but, the woman who just described her day to day as Pres of the PTA and SEPTA thinks it would be easier to go to work FT -
You can't argue with that - maybe, it WOULD be easier, for HER to go to work FT based on her reality. The chance of all of the variables in one mother's life being exactly the same as another's are slim to none.
Every person handles their responsibilities, time, life differently -
there are no two working mothers who have the exact same deal, no two SAH mothers who have the exact same routine while the kids are at school .........
it's really pointless to even bother asking another person that question, unless their situation is VERY similar to yours and you're looking for ways to imporve your day to day
I basically asked as this is the first time I have been home for an extended period of time with kids in school. It actually came from my dh the other day who was off from work and said he can't understand what people do all day home lol. I started wondering what my mother did, besides cleaning as she dusted every day and had the house immaculate. It seems too easy and that I must be doing something wrong lol. I do job hunt all day and night though so it is not like I do nothing and that is quite frustrating.
Yeah, he wants you to go back to work , hence his question. My DH would never say what do you do all day , he knows what my days are like.
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| Posted 1/20/16 6:05 PM |
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