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KittyGags
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 5614 total posts
Name:
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Skipping church part of a wedding...
DH and I have a wedding tomorrow. The church is at 3, the reception is at 630. Both are in NYC.
Is it REALLY rude to skip church? We will have to leave at 130 to get to the east side for mass by 3 and then the reception goes til 1130PM.
I feel really bad/guilty skipping church but I really don't want to go...
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Posted 8/20/10 9:45 PM  |
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cityandbeachmom
Vineyard hopping time
Member since 6/10 1821 total posts
Name:
Suffer the pain of discipline,
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
If they are someone real close to you. GO! They will not notice your presence during the ceremony but will remember that you weren't there after viewing video and or speaking with other close family members. If they are not that close, they won't notice/care...do what you want
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| Posted 8/20/10 9:49 PM |
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8ternity
<3
Member since 11/08 10586 total posts
Name:
Formally NYPD-Wife
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
I agree with pp, if your close with the bride/groom I would go, if not then I would skip it.
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| Posted 8/20/10 9:52 PM |
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iamme
LIF Toddler
Member since 6/10 495 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
i'd say do what works for you. if you think about it, the bride and groom aren't paying for you to be at the church, its the reception that counts. as long as you are at the reception, i'm sure they will be ok with you not coming down the receiving line! (just my opinion...)
i'm always a stickler for going to the church, because i am lame and like to see the bride walk down the aisle....
have fun!
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| Posted 8/20/10 9:58 PM |
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NASP09
...
Member since 6/05 6030 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
Posted by NYPD-Wife
I agree with pp, if your close with the bride/groom I would go, if not then I would skip it.
I agree
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| Posted 8/20/10 9:59 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
I never miss the ceremony--that's when the couple actually gets married!! Its the most important part of the day!!!!!!
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| Posted 8/20/10 10:54 PM |
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leese
Sarge!
Member since 5/05 1965 total posts
Name:
Leese
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
In those circumstances, I wouldn't go. If you are really close, then yes, I'd try to make it. But if not, I'd just go to the reception.
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| Posted 8/20/10 11:14 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
It does sound inconvenient, but even so, I think if you care about the couple, you shouldn't skip the actual "marriage" part of the wedding.
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| Posted 8/20/10 11:34 PM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
I personally think the church is the most important part of a wedding. Without hte church/ceremony there is not party. unless there is some major reason why you can't make the church I think it is proper to go to the church.
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| Posted 8/20/10 11:34 PM |
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rosalie
LIF Infant
Member since 5/10 309 total posts
Name:
rosalie
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
"the bride and groom aren't paying for you to be at the church, its the reception that counts"
I disagree! they may pay for your plate at the reception, and I wouldnt bail after RSVPing yes, but the ceremony s the part that counts because thats where they get married!
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| Posted 8/20/10 11:34 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
I really like seeing the ceremony, I almost always go, even if it's a little bit of an inconvenience. I woudn't say it's "rude" per se if you don't go, to each their own...
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| Posted 8/20/10 11:52 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
I don't think it's really rude to skip the ceremony when there is such a large time gap between the ceremony & reception that doesn't require travel time.
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| Posted 8/21/10 12:34 AM |
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
DH and I have skipped many ceremonies at the church. Especially when there were several hours between church + reception, it was further away and we were friendly, but not THAT friendly KWIM?
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| Posted 8/21/10 6:42 AM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
We are in the same situation, we have a wedding in October that is on a Friday afternoon at 4 pm...in Jersey!
We are not going to the wedding, but are going to the reception afterward.
If you don't want to go, don't.
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| Posted 8/21/10 8:51 AM |
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KittyGags
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 5614 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
See I feel the same as you guys with the church being the most important part but the 3 1/2 hour gap is what's killing me. I am very friendly with the bride but if I reversed the situation, I wouldn't be mad if she missed mine. Also, she skipped my shower and I went to hers (which was also in the city). I also took her out for drinks when she got engaged but we don't really run with the same circle of friends so I've literally seen her twice this year-once when I took her out and once at her shower.
So now is it ok to skip? Lol
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| Posted 8/21/10 8:52 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
I would skip unless you can find a place to chill for that amount of time somewhere.
That always makes me  when there is a big gap. I took all of my pictures before the ceremony so I wouldn't have a gap.
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| Posted 8/21/10 8:56 AM |
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shadows
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 4694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
In this situation, I would probably skip the church. When I got married, we had a big gap, and several people didn't go to the church. I completely understood. You can only expect people to inconvenience themselves so a certain degree - the bride and groom are the ones who planned it that way.
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| Posted 8/21/10 9:25 AM |
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cloddy
Holiday 2011 photo
Member since 8/05 8088 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
I feel like this is becoming a trend. People skip the wedding ceremony and also the actual baptism mass but come to the parties. Seems so strange to me. They are religious occasions. To skip the church is to skip the actual occasion. You'd be missing the marriage itself. It's funny to me that you never hear anyone say the opposite. There's a really long gap so I'm going to the service and skipping the party. I don't think I'd go as far as saying it's rude. I just think it's really sad
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| Posted 8/21/10 10:09 AM |
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mrsmck
Be a big girl!
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
The cermemony's the most important part. I wouldn't skip it.
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| Posted 8/21/10 10:18 AM |
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JJN4
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 1109 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
Posted by Katareen
I never miss the ceremony--that's when the couple actually gets married!! Its the most important part of the day!!!!!!
Ditto.
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| Posted 8/21/10 10:40 AM |
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Alexandra17
Keep It Positive
Member since 4/09 6262 total posts
Name:
Alexandra (ali)
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
If you can find a place to hang out, eat etc..I would go but if not and it's in the city, that could be hard.
whatever happens, I hope you have fun
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| Posted 8/21/10 10:47 AM |
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MommaG
Yay Spring!
Member since 5/05 5133 total posts
Name:
Gloria
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
It's not really a 3 1/2 gap because the ceremony starts at 3PM and I'm thinking you'll be there maybe an hour with the ceremony/mass, receiving line, photos, etc. So you're down to 2 1/2 hours. Don't know how far the reception is from the church, but you need travel time. So you may need to find a nice bar to hang out in for an hour or two - not so bad.
I always try to go to the ceremony since it is the most important part of the day. Usually the only time I miss it is if I have to work.
Whatever you decide, I'm sure the bride will understand. Have a great time!
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| Posted 8/21/10 11:07 AM |
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julesrbf
Baby Girl
Member since 6/09 3882 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
I think it's kinda rude to skip the ceremony unless you have a really great reason to. I don't think that it being a bit inconvenient is a good enough reason, KWIM?
I'd go.
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| Posted 8/21/10 11:16 AM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
Ok, I feel really specialy now I know you had to get off work early to run and make it to our church
Back on the topic, I think its ok to miss the church in this case...unless you can hang out in the city or come by Queens and then go back.
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| Posted 8/21/10 12:02 PM |
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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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Re: Skipping church part of a wedding...
Posted by Katareen
I never miss the ceremony--that's when the couple actually gets married!! Its the most important part of the day!!!!!!
ITA! I could never and would never miss the ceremony (barring some crazy unforeseen event on the way to the Church). I would honestly be hurt if a friend chose to skip it. The ceremony IS the wedding, the reception is just a party.
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| Posted 8/21/10 12:10 PM |
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