Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

I think they are fine unless they are within quick succession. We had ours 13 months before our wedding and we are going to one next weekend for a wedding in June 08, those are fine.

I think if it's E party now, Shower in June, wedding soon after, that is a bit much.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

My MOH insisted I have one, I cry when the people at TGI Friday's bring me balloons on my bday. I cry when my MIL and DH sing Happy Birthday to me. Do you sense a pattern? I do not like being the center of attn at party!

I think I am going to cry just thinking about it, lol.

Eta: If its someone elses e-party, they better not have a shower in two months because that is a cry for gifts.

Message edited 1/26/2007 9:14:13 AM.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

I feel it is asking way too much of your guests. How many gifts do you need?

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

For the most part, I think they are great. It's a reason to celebrate - why not!

I think it's should be spread out from the shower and wedding though. And should be more on the low key side with a limited number of people.

My e-party was 50 people at CLM. At the time we were planning on a destination wedding and the date was definitely 2 years out. My mom pushed for the catering hall, but if I had it to do over again I would do something a little more casual. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED my e-party but I certainly did not expect gifts. For me, it was about the families getting together to meet and celebrate - that's all. We did NOT register and we put 'Best Wishes Only' on our invite but people gave gifts anyway.

We even had one couple RSVP no because they said they could not afford to give a gift. I felt so bad - we told them - the invite SAYS best wishes only for a reason - we are not expecting gifts, but they said they would never show at a party without a gift.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

We had one and I'm glad we did! We had it in a bar, closed for private party, buffet food, dj....we did NOT register prior. We are all fun party people and wanted to get everyone together and celebrate! We did not expect gift but of course go them. It was casual and alot of fun! Gave everyone a chance to get out, eat good food, dance and get to know one another. I don't see anything wrong with them!

ETA: E-party was in Nov, shower in June, wedding in August, baby shower the following April...only 8 months after our wedding and while it felt like so much one after another, what is the big difference about spreading it out if you're going to do it all anyway, JMO

Message edited 1/26/2007 9:39:15 AM.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

I had one, enjoyed it and had fun! We had 120pp...we also were engaged for 2 1/2 yrs so I knew that our celebration was needed.

I havent been to any myself but wouldnt mind goin to them. Im in the same boat..its a reason to celebrate!

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

I think it is asking too much. We never had one

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

My parents had one for us and it was about 60 ppl. We had a long engagement (2 1/2 years) so I don't think it was too much at all. We did not register so the guests gave us mostly money. I have attended other e-parties and it pretty much worked the same way as mine did

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

I've been to two and both were so over the top - it was total overkill. The first was a cousin's, in Canada, and I'm fairly certain it was to show off his parent's beautiful home, and to get gifts. The bride-to-be wore a silk white dress and I just thought it was so tacky. The second was a good friend who was marrying into quite a bit of money. THe groom's parents wanted to throw their own party separate from the wedding and because they had so much money, and it was at their McMansion, it ended up being a more extraordinary affair than the actual wedding itself... again, too much.

Message edited 1/26/2007 9:50:48 AM.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

I think it's an occasion worthy of celebration. That said, turning it into a mini-wedding is definitely not my style but to each their own. I also think it's tacky to register for an e-party...but again, that's just MY opinion.

I didn't want one but my dad and stepmom wanted to do something so they arranged a little dinner for about 20 at Tavern on the Green. We had a lovely time - it was perfect.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

I guess it depends... I didn't really want one but my mom insisted on giving us one. It was in a restaurant and we had about 40 or 50 people. We had a DJ but that was only because my brother is a dj and he was trying to get some business from it LOL.

It was a year before the wedding and other wedding related events, so I guess it wasn't really considered overkill by anyone. We did register but only because everyone was calling my parents to ask where we were registered.

If the engagment party, and wedding were less than a year apart I would consider that overkill. It is a nice way to celebrate a happy event like an engagement.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

I didn't want one myself. We were really busy, and I didn't want family and friends to feel that we were hitting them up for another gift. We're both older, and we had many things between us already.

I do think they are nice if they are done in a low-key way, maybe a smallish gathering in someone's home, or at a casual restaurant. I'm not a fan of the mini-wedding engagement parties.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

Posted by Kelly9904

Posted by Maathy317

IMO nothing but a shameless grab for gifts.

I agree. And I only agree b/c the one and only engagement party I had to go to the couple put registry cards in the invites. So, within 1 year (the party was in July and the wedding in June) I had to give an e-party gift, shower gift, and wedding gift.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

It's not something my family does. My three older sisters didn't have one and neither did I. DH and I aren't a fan of them.

DH and I did host a dinner at a restaurant for our two families to meet though. Our parents had never met, and we kept it to immediate family only. No aunts, uncles, cousins, or friends were invited. And no gifts were expected or given. We would have had something at our house but 1) we dont have a house, and 2) it was January, so we didn't exactly have a yard either.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

I had one in my backyard 3 m.nths after we got engaged (13 months before my wedding date).
60 people came. All family, few few close friends.
His family is from upstate, mine is here on LI. I wanted them all to meet.

I WASN'T EXPECTING GIFTS BECAUSE A LOT OF HIS FAMILY HAD NEVER EVEN HEARD OF AN EPARTY, AND A LOT OF HIS FAMILY DIDNT GIVE US ONE. WE DIDNT CARE AT ALL!!!WE WERE JUST HAPPY THEY CAME.

My parents spent about 1500 to have it.We knew we wouldnt "make the money back" and we didnt. It wasnt about the gifts for us.

If i could do it again, i would

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

They're ok.

One of my pet peeves is when the invite includes where the bride and groom to be are registered at. It's just asking for gifts.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

The few I've been to were intimate celebrations of the exciting time with close family and friends, never lavish, wedding like.

We had one but we weren't planning on it, my brother and sis-in-law asked if they could throw us one- we had 40 people at their house, didn't register and requested no gifts.

So, to answer, I like them but my experience is limited to one kind.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

I think it can be overkill if it's at a cater hall and/or the couple registers. There's noting wrong with wanting to celebrate the engagement, but when people go overboard guests feel pressure to give gifts.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

We had a very informal one for just parents and our friends. It was in my FIL's backyard. They wanted to throw us something, and it was a nice way for all of our friends to meet. It was only about 4 months before our wedding b/c FIL wanted to have something outside. It was understood that we didn't want or expect gifts.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

I enjoy them... oftentimes, it is the first time that the two families are meeting. There are so many hardships and difficulties in life, any reason to celebrate should be taken!

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

We had a small one. DH's mom had never met my parents, so we basically had one so that she and her gf could meet my family. It was about 25 people. We did get small gifts, but it was really nice.

The only sad thing was that my grandmother was very ill and died the next morning, so everyone was a little distracted. She wasn't there, but gave us a gift (a teapot), that was the last gift I got from her, so yes, I think I am really happy we had it.

Re: Spinoff to engagement parties - how do you feel about them?

We had more of a get to know one another party when we got engaged. It was at my moms house for our immediate families only - there was 20 ppl...it was very casual - our families both hosted it so they can all meet...no favors or invites sent, no announcements or centerpieces...

I think as long as is it kept on the smaller side and does not turn into a mini version of the wedding then they are ok...the minute professional invites are sent and favors are wrapped I think "looking for money"... JMO