Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

Personally I wouldn't.

I pumped a lot of time and schooling developing my career and I don't think I'd be happy being home all the time.

Plus my mom stayed home with me when I was younger and I used to feel suffocated by her. My earliest memories are of her constantly watching me like a hawk and giving me no privacy. I remember many of my friends had cool babysitters and I never did.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

Yes. I worked for the first 2 1/2 yrs of Andrew's life and it was very difficult for me to leave him and to go to work when he was sick etc.

Just recently I became a SAHM and I LOVE IT I wouldn't give it up for the world.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

I would and either work at home or work part time.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

I could not be at SAHM unless i had 3 or more children...and even then i would have a part time job. I too have spent a lot of time and money into a Career that i love. And honestly i need the sanity..i am a people person and need to be around people...

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

Me and my husband made the decision that I would be a SAHM when I was pregnant with my first I have gone back to work part time on and off because I miss working but also with my husbands schedule its hard to work and we both agree on no daycare so I will go back to work when this one starts kindergarden so I have atleast another 5 years I love being home with my children and wouldnt change it for anything.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

I would probably look to do something on a part time basis.

I would need the break every now and then.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

I could SAH, but I don't want to. I don't think (about MYSELF) that I would be a very good person, wife, or mother if I was a SAHM -

*I* would be resentful of my DH's ability to leave the house and have a life separate from me and DC. Friends at work, adult contact and conversations, acomplishments that are HIS and not OURS ........
*I* would not be happy b/c *I* would FEEL like my entire identity was Brian's Wife, and "Baby K's" Mommy.

Being the person I am, I'd also feel guilty that DH was the only one bringing home the money - And I KNOW that being a SAHM is not just sitting around all day eating bon bons .....HOWEVER, I would worry that after my kids were in school, WHAT would I do all day? How would I be productive and useful and feel acomplished? And for me, getting 'back in the game' at that point would be very daunting and I'd have taken 12 steps back in my career. -

I am NOT saying that SAHM's have no life or identity outside of wife and Mom. I am saying that this is how *I* would feel and it would make me unhappy - and that's not good for anyone ........

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

Yes but I generally take an extended amount of time off (about 5 months with DD, taking a year with this baby) and then go back PT, 2 days a week. For me it's kind of the perfect arrangement.
I did work FT for most of this year and realized how much I didn't miss it.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

Maybe for a year but after that I'd go back to work I think. I'm in education so I have good hours and a lot of time off. I love my job and have spent a lot of money and time on my education and wouldn't want to give it up totally.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

if we could i would for the first few years!! i feel that the early toddler years are the 'imprint' years where they pick up bad habits... so i'd want to be there during that time to help put that behavior to an end..

then i would go to work while they are in school.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

yes, if money wasn't an issue DH or myself would be a stay at home parent

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

I would go to school full time- until i was finished, then providing i got a teaching job- yes i would. If it were doing something else, probably P/T. Im very independant and need to have my own money.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

Yup. No question. I am established in my career and proud of the 13 years of service I have so far devoted to the field of teaching. I waited a long time to get married and start a family though not by choice - that is how it was for me. I can go back to teaching whenever I would want as I have been permanently certified in two areas before recertification became an issue. I would give my eye-teeth to stay home with Abby and any others who come along!

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

I am a SAHM and I would not give it up... I too have spent tons of time and money on my career, but being a mom is the most important thing to me... Money is always going to be an issue for the rest of our lives but who cares... If you are not "well off" "rich" money will always be an issue but everyone has to do what they feel is the best thing for them.... Im not saying I will never go back to work, because I will once my children are in school full time. There will never be a good time to have children if you are waiting to be financially secure.

My mom raised me as a SAHM and when she had no choice to go back to work I missed out.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

without a doubt... of course.

my DH would love to be a SAHD as well..

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

Possibly.

I am going back to work soon after being home for almost 11 months. I am not that excited to go back to work per se, but looking forward to more adult company during the day. I think if I knew I was going to stay home for good, I would seek out playgroups and other activities for us to do. Since I knew it was temporary and we had a lot going on this past year, it was just me and DS together every day. I loved it, but I think I would need more outlets as he gets older.

Ideally, I would love to work 2-3 days a week, but for my job, it isn't really do-able.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

Absolutely

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

In a NY minute, yes......

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

I'd consider working part-time, but I don't think I'd be happy being a SAHM. I spent a long time in school so I could pursue this career. I really enjoy what I do and am very happy at my job. I enjoy the social interaction and intellectual stimulation. I can't imagine giving up my career entirely. That being said, I know it will be extremely difficult going back to work and leaving my child. Regardless of our financial situation, I think it will be better for both of us if I continued working.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

I think I would. I want to be a class mom, I want to bake brownies during the day, and have DH come home to a nice home cooked meal and clean home. My only hesitations would be (1)not making my own money and (2) losing a little bit of myself.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

Hells to the no. I LOVE going to work. I am a terrible SAHM on the days DH is working (he works doubles on the days I am home). I'm super attentive to DD's needs, but I am a terrible multitasker, so there is no cleaning or coooking unless he's home to help with her.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

I am going to be a SAHM.

I used to say this back in the day...I didn't want to "lose" myself, my independence, etc. I spent a lot of time on my career, education etc. But I have learned otherwise after many different life experiences. My education will always be there, my career will always be there. I can always get another job even if I get rusty from staying at home. But staying at home with my child is something I cannot ever do again in the future when my child grows up. So being a SAHM is something I look forward to and I am thankful that I can do so. We don't need my salary to live the way we want to live luckily so going back to work for me would simply be for my enjoyment. So speaking for myself, my priorities have changed and it's all about my child now, not me and my "freedom". That's perfectly fine by me (and DH). We have had plenty of years of "freedom" before having DD anyway.

I love the independence of not having to involve ANYONE (my mom, a babysitter, nanny, daycare, etc) in the daily care of my child. I personally could never use a family member to watch my child, I would go nuts. I see some friends/family members of mine whose own parents watch their children. I feel their parents (the grandparents) have wayyy too much influence in raising their grandchildren and I am not a fan of that. I think I would have even used a daycare over family if I had to go back to work.

I will personally make sure I maintain other outlets for myself, and for my child. I won't become one of those clingy moms who smothers their child as you refer to. I don't think that's healthy either.

Message edited 10/23/2008 12:26:07 PM.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

We're actually grappling with this issue now, thankfully we would be OK if I stayed out of work, but there are a few layers to the equation. We aren't used to be OK, we like a certain lifestyle and want to be able to give that to our DD. Also, I know for my own sanity, I'm the type of person that needs to work. I love bringing home a paycheck, and I've also worked my azz off to where I am to be in my career at the age of 29, most ppl are in their mid 30-40's on my level....and I really am proud of that and don't want that to go away....On the other hand I do not want to leave DD alone with a Nanny or daycare, thats our personal feeling...so we're in a bind, DH wants me to do what I'm happy and comfortable doing, I think I'm going to look for a job in my industry which will allow me to work from home most of the time if not all of the time, I'm jsut getting nervous about the jobs that will be out there after my maternity leave, since the economy is so sh!tty!!!

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

Yes. I will sort of be a SAHM. I own my own company and my studio is one of the floors of my house. I will be taking off a few weeks when she comes and then work when she is napping etc so essentially I will still be working but able to take care of her. I can also delegate a lot of the work to my employees if need be.

I can't imagine having to put her in daycare. DH and I discussed me be a SHAM before we even got married. It was importatnt to both of us that one parent stay at home with them.

Re: Spinoff to Granny/Nanny: Would you be a SAHM if money wasn't an issue?

I think I would work P/T if money wasn't an issue.