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twobabies
Praying
Member since 7/05 9662 total posts
Name:
Mrs. Honeybee
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
i am a sahm mom now to my 3 and 2 year old. once the 2 year old starts kindergarden fulltime, i will be going back to work.
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Posted 10/11/06 9:20 AM  |
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GoingNutty
Our family
Member since 5/05 2272 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I would love to- especially with the price of child care... but there is no way we would be able to afford it.
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| Posted 10/11/06 9:22 AM |
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Chatham-Chick
*********************
Member since 5/05 10311 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I'm a SAHM.
My DH and I discussed it prior to getting married and we both agreed it would be in our childrens' best interest if I stayed home and cared for them.
I may get a job (PT or FT) when they're a bit older just so I have something to do and for the socialization aspect.
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| Posted 10/11/06 9:24 AM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by LisaI
Posted by Eva Luna
Posted by muchinluvmichi
Posted by Meaghan729
Posted by muchinluvmichi
Personally I think pple use money as an excuse.. that the cost of living is high and they need 2 incomes, but honestly i think whatever financial sacrifices need to be made are worth it to be home with my child for a few yrs...
example..only having 1 old car, not 2 new ones... dont live in a location where living is overly expensive..
i completely disagree - $$ is not an excuse. you say dont live in a location where living is overly expensive. well LI is expensive. I could be a SAHM if I moved out of state - but them my child wont grow up near their family - not worth the sacrifice to me.
i think thats a personal choice..some might say you can always visit family if u lived somewhere else and didnt need to work 2 jobs...as i said its a very personal choice, of what outweighs pros and cons to each family
Wouldn't you be miserable in a completely new place without your friends and family for support? Why would anyone do that just for a kid? Wouldn't you then resent the kid?
I think that's very hasty in thought. It's a lot less selfish to work and give the child a family, with grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. than for you to be miserable and home with them.
gotta jump in here:
we decided to move to GA. to have a better lifestyle and raise our children. We didn't nor do we still think it's selfish to raise our children without our family around 24/7. Believe me when I say that our family (all immediate) visits us on a regular babis. I have visitors monthly sometimes on a busy month weekly. we chose this lifestlye to raise our children where we felt was better for them. It was a personal choice and we would never change it. Sure we miss our family, especially when I lost the baby I needed family around, but you know my sister took the first flight out and was there for me as was other family members. It works for us and lauren has everything and then some she will ever need in life. Most of all happy parents that love her unconditionally.
Well, you chose the best state to be in, that's why!  Seriously, no kids yet, but we moved for them...we know it's a great place to raise them.
But, not everyone has that option...and not everyone has a happy move!! I just don't like generalizations!
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| Posted 10/11/06 9:27 AM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Being a mother or parent is a full time job..unfortunatly its not one you get paid for but i think the other 'rewards' are worth any money any job can offer..i kno plenty of families who make verry little and seem to survive, i think its all a matter of perception, balance, and what is most important to your family as a whole... I am not knocking women who work..and can see why some pple may be the one who holds the benefits in the family or makes more money then there hubby so they "hafta" work..but then again thats a choice that family makes when they have children..as i said if i personally couldnt stay home at least part time, then i wouldnt have children..
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| Posted 10/11/06 9:28 AM |
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LisaI
Momma's Little Beans
Member since 1/06 3923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by Eva Luna
Posted by LisaI
Posted by Eva Luna
Posted by muchinluvmichi
Posted by Meaghan729
Posted by muchinluvmichi
Personally I think pple use money as an excuse.. that the cost of living is high and they need 2 incomes, but honestly i think whatever financial sacrifices need to be made are worth it to be home with my child for a few yrs...
example..only having 1 old car, not 2 new ones... dont live in a location where living is overly expensive..
i completely disagree - $$ is not an excuse. you say dont live in a location where living is overly expensive. well LI is expensive. I could be a SAHM if I moved out of state - but them my child wont grow up near their family - not worth the sacrifice to me.
i think thats a personal choice..some might say you can always visit family if u lived somewhere else and didnt need to work 2 jobs...as i said its a very personal choice, of what outweighs pros and cons to each family
Wouldn't you be miserable in a completely new place without your friends and family for support? Why would anyone do that just for a kid? Wouldn't you then resent the kid?
I think that's very hasty in thought. It's a lot less selfish to work and give the child a family, with grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. than for you to be miserable and home with them.
gotta jump in here:
we decided to move to GA. to have a better lifestyle and raise our children. We didn't nor do we still think it's selfish to raise our children without our family around 24/7. Believe me when I say that our family (all immediate) visits us on a regular babis. I have visitors monthly sometimes on a busy month weekly. we chose this lifestlye to raise our children where we felt was better for them. It was a personal choice and we would never change it. Sure we miss our family, especially when I lost the baby I needed family around, but you know my sister took the first flight out and was there for me as was other family members. It works for us and lauren has everything and then some she will ever need in life. Most of all happy parents that love her unconditionally.
Well, you chose the best state to be in, that's why! Seriously, no kids yet, but we moved for them...we know it's a great place to raise them.
But, not everyone has that option...and not everyone has a happy move!! I just don't like generalizations!
I agree, that is why I shared my experience and why it worked for us. you are very lucky to have your family around. I do wish that was the case for us, but in time people are moving down (gawd help us )...I could always help watch your kids
Message edited 10/11/2006 9:30:13 AM.
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| Posted 10/11/06 9:29 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I'd love to do it, but don't think it would work for us. We need both incomes to buy a house in the area, and after living out of state for many years, I don't think I would be willing to go far away from my support system here, even if it meant I could stay home.
It would also be costly for me career-wise. I changed careers at age 30, and leaving for more than a year would probably be career suicide for me. I am also the one with the benefits. So, for us, for a variety of reasons, I will work if we have children, and I always imagined staying home.
Ideally, I would love to work part time.
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| Posted 10/11/06 9:31 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I have an option (i work in sales) to go on full commission and work part time(probably one day from home and 2 days in the office) The other two days my SIL will watch my future child I think.
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| Posted 10/11/06 9:36 AM |
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july06bride
I'm a mom!
Member since 5/05 3966 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I would like to be a SAHM /part time work 
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:00 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I really hope that I am able to be a SAHM. My Mom was home for me and I loved it!
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:07 AM |
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mrsv
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Member since 7/06 2969 total posts
Name:
lol
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I plan to be a SAHM at least for the first year and then work per diem while I can.
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:17 AM |
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CunningOne
***
Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I am a SAHM now since my son was born 2.5 years ago. I had worked a little PT in that time, but I am not working anymore.
I am still unsure if I will ever go back to work.
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:19 AM |
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joenick
Us
Member since 6/06 9370 total posts
Name:
Valerie...aka...Do Me A Favor?
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I am a SAHM and I have been since my older son was born 4.5 years ago. I really couldn't imagine it any other way. My mom was a SAHM and I really couldn't see myself leaving my kids with anyone during the day.
I love being able to be home with my boys. I bring my son to Pre-K ever day and pick him up, we do homework together, I bring him to Karate and soccer during the afternoon, we have tons of playdates with his friends, I am able to devote a lot of time to my little one when big brother is in school. I absolutely love it.
I was a teacher before becoming a SAHM. I don't know if I'll ever return. I want to be home for my boys when they come home from school (and if we are still living in NY...the times won't work for me to work and be home for dismissal).
I feel EXTREMELY fortunate that my DH earns enough $$ for us to be able to have this kind of arrangement.
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:20 AM |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I would love to be a SAHM.........
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:22 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by muchinluvmichi
Personally I think pple use money as an excuse.. that the cost of living is high and they need 2 incomes, but honestly i think whatever financial sacrifices need to be made are worth it to be home with my child for a few yrs...
example..only having 1 old car, not 2 new ones... dont live in a location where living is overly expensive..
No offense, but this is clearly the statement of someone who doesn't have any children.
I would love to be a SAHM, but with my school loans, our expenses, plus the fact that I make a high salary and carry the health insurance, being a SAHM is not an option. My DH has his own business and although it is successful, we can't survive on his income alone. I could move to somewhere out of the New YOrk Metropolitan area, but then DH would have to start his business from scratch and my daughter would have NO family anywhere near her.
Not to mention what children cost. First off, health insurance if you don't work for a place that pays for it (whcih neither DH nor I do), diapers, toys, classes, equipment, food (especially if you don't breast feed)... it all adds up.
Honestly, its just one of those things that you can't understand until you are there.
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:22 AM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I will not be a SAHM. My Mom wasn't when I was little...so it makes absolutely no difference to me.
On the other hand...can anyone shed light as to why it's bad to be a working Mom? Reason I'm asking is my MIL (I know ) almost had a heart attack when I said I was going to work after having children as though there was something criminal about it.
It's not as though she stayed at home with her kids... 
Plus...I love my DH and all, but he's not pulling in over $200k like her one DD's DH is...so umm...not happening even if I wanted too...But I don't anyway...
ETA: I'd like to think I turned out alright 
Message edited 10/11/2006 10:24:55 AM.
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:23 AM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by Shellyesq
Posted by muchinluvmichi
Personally I think pple use money as an excuse.. that the cost of living is high and they need 2 incomes, but honestly i think whatever financial sacrifices need to be made are worth it to be home with my child for a few yrs...
example..only having 1 old car, not 2 new ones... dont live in a location where living is overly expensive..
No offense, but this is clearly the statement of someone who doesn't have any children.
I would love to be a SAHM, but with my school loans, our expenses, plus the fact that I make a high salary and carry the health insurance, being a SAHM is not an option. My DH has his own business and although it is successful, we can't survive on his income alone. I could move to somewhere out of the New YOrk Metropolitan area, but then DH would have to start his business from scratch and my daughter would have NO family anywhere near her.
Not to mention what children cost. First off, health insurance if you don't work for a place that pays for it (whcih neither DH nor I do), diapers, toys, classes, equipment, food (especially if you don't breast feed)... it all adds up.
Honestly, its just one of those things that you can't understand until you are there.
EXACTLY
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:27 AM |
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joenick
Us
Member since 6/06 9370 total posts
Name:
Valerie...aka...Do Me A Favor?
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by lorich
I will not be a SAHM. My Mom wasn't when I was little...so it makes absolutely no difference to me.
On the other hand...can anyone shed light as to why it's bad to be a working Mom? Reason I'm asking is my MIL (I know) almost had a heart attack when I said I was going to work after having children as though there was something criminal about it.
It's not as though she stayed at home with her kids...
Plus...I love my DH and all, but he's not pulling in over $200k like her one DD's DH is...so umm...not happening even if I wanted too...But I don't anyway...
ETA: I'd like to think I turned out alright
It's not bad at all to be a working mom. (But aren't ALL moms working moms!!) It's what works for you and your family. I have ONLY known having mom at home. My mom is STILL a SAHM though her "children" haven't lived at home for quite some time!
But really, it's what YOU want to do. If you enjoy working, or need to work...keep working. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. You love your children just as much as a SAHM, there is no difference.
DH and I knew we wanted to be able to have me stay home with our children, but again, that is OUR preference. There is no right or wrong here. It'll be a topic that will be disputed for years. Add it to the list!!
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:30 AM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I will SAHM for a bit. I'm working toward a position where I can either work P/T and/or telecommute. I don't see myself staying home for more than 6 mos even though we've based our mortgage and other purchases around the idea of one income, but that's as much for accident purposes, in case one person can't work as much as SAH. I like working so its not likely I will be a permanent SAHM.
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:31 AM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
DH and i both want me to be home with the kids at least until they're in school... and we've already started planning for it. i knew i would need a new car for when we had kids ( my old car was a ford escort) so, we bought an SUV in march... so that way we can pay it down while we're both working and it won't be a such a burden.
we also would need a bigger house, and DHs parents are moving and have offered to sell us theres. even though its not EXACTLY what we would like, its a lot bigger than our house now and its in a good school district, and we can get a good deal on it...
its very important to us, and we are plannign ahead so we are able to do it... like smoebody else said, where theres a will, therse a way...
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:32 AM |
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Chica
Cuteness!
Member since 10/06 3013 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I would love to be a SAHM, but unfortunately, unless we win the lottery, it's just not in the cards. Buying a house, mortgage, loans and kids are $$$!
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:33 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I would enjoy being a SAHM, but it's not really an option financially. But I'm extremely lucky that I only work part-time and make pretty good money doing it. I teach dance 4 afternoons a week and by the time I drop the baby at my MIL or my mother's house, DH will come to pick him up 2.5 hours later. So Luca will be with one of his parents almost all of the time. It's kind of the best of both worlds.
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:34 AM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I would want to be a SAHM for the first few years, or at least work part time, but there is no way we will ever afford it.
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:36 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by lorich
I will not be a SAHM. My Mom wasn't when I was little...so it makes absolutely no difference to me.
On the other hand...can anyone shed light as to why it's bad to be a working Mom? Reason I'm asking is my MIL (I know) almost had a heart attack when I said I was going to work after having children as though there was something criminal about it.
It's not as though she stayed at home with her kids...
Plus...I love my DH and all, but he's not pulling in over $200k like her one DD's DH is...so umm...not happening even if I wanted too...But I don't anyway...
ETA: I'd like to think I turned out alright
I don't think anyone feels it is bad if someone else does it (except for maybe your MIL ). it is definitely a personal choice.
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:36 AM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by nferrandi
I would enjoy being a SAHM, but it's not really an option financially. But I'm extremely lucky that I only work part-time and make pretty good money doing it. I teach dance 4 afternoons a week and by the time I drop the baby at my MIL or my mother's house, DH will come to pick him up 2.5 hours later. So Luca will be with one of his parents almost all of the time. It's kind of the best of both worlds.
You have the perfect situation IMO!!!
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| Posted 10/11/06 10:37 AM |
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