| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 6 >> |
CowgirlChick97
Nike. Just do it.
Member since 5/05 3303 total posts
Name:
Brianna
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
i would love to be...
unfortunately this wont be able to happen unless DH gets a HUGE raise/diff job
i would want to go back to work part time after some time tho....
|
Posted 10/11/06 10:37 AM  |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by Meaghan729
Posted by muchinluvmichi
Personally I think pple use money as an excuse.. that the cost of living is high and they need 2 incomes, but honestly i think whatever financial sacrifices need to be made are worth it to be home with my child for a few yrs...
example..only having 1 old car, not 2 new ones... dont live in a location where living is overly expensive..
i completely disagree - $$ is not an excuse. you say dont live in a location where living is overly expensive. well LI is expensive. I could be a SAHM if I moved out of state - but them my child wont grow up near their family - not worth the sacrifice to me.
Well I moved out of state and still cannot be a SAHM......oh, if only a married a rich man 
|
| Posted 10/11/06 10:55 AM |
| |
|
nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I don't know what I would do. If I didn't make that much the answer would be clear cut, but I make enough so that at least with one child the daycare wouldn't be a huge percentage of my salary.
Message edited 10/11/2006 11:09:10 AM.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 11:05 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
This year I might work part time, within a year or two I'd like to maybe SAH. Can't really say right now, I have to see how we're doing financially and how I feel about staying home at the time.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 11:06 AM |
| |
|
spooks
So in love!
Member since 6/06 4378 total posts
Name:
Sarah
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
IDeally I would want to work a few days a week and SAHM the rest. Right now we couldn't do it - we need both incomes, but hopefully when the time comes we can do that. Dh would love himself to be a SAHD and me go to work, but when I explain its not all playing video games, you actually have to watch the child it becomes a different story:)
|
| Posted 10/11/06 11:10 AM |
| |
|
anon
where's winter?
Member since 11/05 2209 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by Shellyesq
Posted by muchinluvmichi
Personally I think pple use money as an excuse.. that the cost of living is high and they need 2 incomes, but honestly i think whatever financial sacrifices need to be made are worth it to be home with my child for a few yrs...
example..only having 1 old car, not 2 new ones... dont live in a location where living is overly expensive..
No offense, but this is clearly the statement of someone who doesn't have any children.
I would love to be a SAHM, but with my school loans, our expenses, plus the fact that I make a high salary and carry the health insurance, being a SAHM is not an option. My DH has his own business and although it is successful, we can't survive on his income alone. I could move to somewhere out of the New YOrk Metropolitan area, but then DH would have to start his business from scratch and my daughter would have NO family anywhere near her.
Not to mention what children cost. First off, health insurance if you don't work for a place that pays for it (whcih neither DH nor I do), diapers, toys, classes, equipment, food (especially if you don't breast feed)... it all adds up.
Honestly, its just one of those things that you can't understand until you are there.
well i have a child and for the most part agree with michi...
we are currently surviving on one income, won't be forever, but currently we are managing.
we live in a "nicer" area of NJ but we have a TINY house. for us safety was important so we picked a neighborhood and live in a shoebox.
we have only 1 car.
school loans were paid off prior to getting married. the only debt we have is car and house.
i will agree that health insurance is a ***** and if DH's company didn't carry us we would have to get pretty creative. when i go back to work eventually, it will be as a consultant and/or part time. the only reason i can do this is because DH covers the family...
our parents live far away so we are "on our own" as far as childcare is concerned. personally, i wanted to take at least the first year to be with DD regardless of salary. it just so happens my last salary was a joke, so it was a no brainner leaving that place.
i consider myself very lucky to be home with DD. the things we "sacrifice" are material, our basic needs are met.
it's not for everyone, i have friends who flat out have no desire to stay home even if they could "afford it". but for us, so far it works...
|
| Posted 10/11/06 11:28 AM |
| |
|
Kristin616
Member since 8/06 3595 total posts
Name:
Kris
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
My Dh just got a new job before we got married, and with his salary I would be able to be a SAHM. For now thats our plan, but who knows what the future will bring.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 11:42 AM |
| |
|
pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
When some of you become or are about to becaome a mom, I would love for you go look back at your posts and see if you situation has changed.
Life doesn't always happen the way you plan. When I was a little younger, I always used to say that I would NEVER be a SAHM because I love working and all that stuff. Now, I could eat my words becasue now I really will NEVER be a SAHM, not because I don't want to, but because I just can't.
It's easy for people to say that you can make "sacrafices" to stay home and "where there's a will there's a way" but you know what...sometimes there really is NOT.
Some of these posts can be really hurtful to others. I usually never say anything and don't get offended easily, I just wish that some people would think before they post. It is so easy to judge others when you are not in their situation. 
|
| Posted 10/11/06 11:57 AM |
| |
|
stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by pmpkn087
When some of you become or are about to becaome a mom, I would love for you go look back at your posts and see if you situation has changed.
Life doesn't always happen the way you plan. When I was a little younger, I always used to say that I would NEVER be a SAHM because I love working and all that stuff. Now, I could eat my words becasue now I really will NEVER be a SAHM, not because I don't want to, but because I just can't.
It's easy for people to say that you can make "sacrafices" to stay home and "where there's a will there's a way" but you know what...sometimes there really is NOT.
Some of these posts can be really hurtful to others. I usually never say anything and don't get offended easily, I just wish that some people would think before they post. It is so easy to judge others when you are not in their situation.
I agree with this - this is such a sensitive topic to those of us with kids or expecting because sometimes youjust cannot make the decision YOU want to make. I simply cannot stop working. I guess if we sold our house, defaulted on our school loans and never saved for our children's education then maybe we could. My salary is far more than the cost of childcare so it would be a substantial portion of our annual income that is gone. We both have professional degrees and they came with a price. I wish I could stay home but can't but that does not mean I should not have children.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 12:01 PM |
| |
|
julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Undecided.
I can afford to stay home, but I don't think I want to. I guess p/t work would be ideal, but that is hard to find in my field. Right now I am not liking my job so staying home is looking better. But if I can get into a great job, I would probably work f/t.
It is up in the air!
|
| Posted 10/11/06 12:05 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Me - I'm just working for kicks. I was thinking of giving my entire income to others but decided to keep it just in case I need a new purse or something.
Stay at home with those monsters I created? F that. Let the teachers in daycare raise them. I just wanted the experience of childbirth. I didn't actually want to rasie them myself.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 12:53 PM |
| |
|
steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I was home with DS until he was 1 yrs old and I realized that being a SAHM was not for me at all. I will say that I am a much better mommy to him now that I am working. I enjoyed being with him and watching him grow, but I also missed working and getting out everyday.
I personally think it's more important for me (or DH) to be home with our kids when they are of school age. So maybe then, I will change my mind about being a SAHM.
All mothers make sacrifices whether we work or not. Generalizations about how people can make it work on one salary is ridiculous. Everyone's situation is different and until you are a parent you will never know what you will do.
Message edited 10/11/2006 12:57:05 PM.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 12:56 PM |
| |
|
BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I am not a SAHM. I won't say that I have NO desire to be a SAHM, I just have a stronger desire to continue with my career as a music teacher. I feel I spend much better time with my daughter because I am happy with my work life. I make the best of the time I have with her.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 12:59 PM |
| |
|
vegalady
Love my family
Member since 6/06 4546 total posts
Name:
SNV
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I would love to be a SAHM but cant. Dh and I have a business together where we invest in homes. And whenthose homes are empty we have to pay the bills. I dont want to leave DH with paying all of the bills I think its selfish. I am not trying to call anyone out here since i dont know any of you so dont take this personally. I have seen firsthand how being a SAHM can effect the marriage. Many men get frustrated and wind up resenting their wives for staying at home. I cant imagine asking my DH for money all the time to get my nails, hair, etc. done if I dont work. I think it adds stress to the relationship. I just dont see how you can live comfortably unless you are very wealthy with only one person working. My friend who just had a baby stays at home all day long, her husband come shome late and she is lonely all of the time. Granted this is the route they choose once she got preg. but you can tell she is not extremely happy about it. I think when 2 peopel work together you can accomplish so much. I am setting up a future already for my future children. I want to send them to the best colleges and schools and on one salary that is almost impossible (not to say that it cant be done but there will be lots of struggle).
And this is coming from someone who's mom was a SAHM. But i saw the strain and I dont want to be there.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 1:02 PM |
| |
|
BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Hmm, just reading back on the thread now. All I have to say is this....
You may think you know what you want and you may think you have it all worked out, but until you actually experience being a parent, you really don't know. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing, that's just the way it is. I thought I KNEW even when I was pregnant. We had it all worked out, but life happens and things don't always go as planned. I planned to breast feed my daughter, hell, I even had the back-up plan for using formula if breast feeding didn't work out. Well, it didn't work out, and guess what? Neither did formula feeding my daughter. Now I pay between 600-800 dollars a month just on her formula. That's not including her diapers, wipes, clothes, toys, books, etc. That's JUST her formula. So, like I said, plan away, just never say never and don't get stuck thinking you have it all figured out. Best laid plans....
|
| Posted 10/11/06 1:12 PM |
| |
|
casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name:
Mommy to two boys and a girl
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
It's easy for people to say that you can make "sacrafices" to stay home and "where there's a will there's a way" but you know what...sometimes there really is NOT.
Some of these posts can be really hurtful to others. I usually never say anything and don't get offended easily, I just wish that some people would think before they post. It is so easy to judge others when you are not in their situation.
I agree with this - this is such a sensitive topic to those of us with kids or expecting because sometimes youjust cannot make the decision YOU want to make. I simply cannot stop working. I guess if we sold our house, defaulted on our school loans and never saved for our children's education then maybe we could. My salary is far more than the cost of childcare so it would be a substantial portion of our annual income that is gone. We both have professional degrees and they came with a price. I wish I could stay home but can't but that does not mean I should not have children.
Agreed! I would love to be a SAHM- we have one car, a mortgage, school loans- my salary more than makes up for daycare. If we leave the area than our baby would be away from all 4 grandparents who live 20 minutes away and that will ADORE him and see him every week- as well as two loving uncles. We are going to play things by ear and right now I am lucky to have found a job that will let me work from home 2 days a week. I would be a SAHM if I could but there is no way to make that happen unless we leave our families. Its not always so easy!
|
| Posted 10/11/06 1:22 PM |
| |
|
BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
If we could afford for me to stay home than YES...I want to be a SAHM...but as of now that is not an option for us...
|
| Posted 10/11/06 1:24 PM |
| |
|
Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I always thought I wanted too- but I do better when I have more on my plate
plus it would change the whole dynamic of my relationship with DH- while he could afford to cover all the expenses- I enjoy having my own money- which to me equals freedom- I don't want to have to ask for money or justify my spending
also I really have no desire to adjust my life style b/c I have childern- that's just my opinion
I think day care or a nanny can be good for kids- I had a nanny- "Aunt Pat" and we did things together that my Mom wouldn't have done with me- like paint at the duck pond ( she is an artist) she got me on romper room- and we baked alot- all things that weren't my moms strenghts
so I had the benefit of 2 women to raise me- and I see that as a plus
|
| Posted 10/11/06 1:30 PM |
| |
|
MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I am a SAHM and will continue to be.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 1:36 PM |
| |
|
Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I work full time but have the luxury of having my son with me where I work
|
| Posted 10/11/06 1:37 PM |
| |
|
KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I am pregnant now and I will be going back to work after my short term disability is used up and so is my vacation time. We can't afford to not have me work at this point in life.
My mom worked my whole life, and I turned out ok. We do have a unique situation in the regard that DH does shift work, so when one of us isn't home with the baby, he/she will probably be with my step mother in law, which will allow us to save some money.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 1:43 PM |
| |
|
MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I am, and I'm very happy I can be.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 1:45 PM |
| |
|
steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by Beth1210
also I really have no desire to adjust my life style b/c I have childern- that's just my opinion
Believe me while you may not have the desire now but, your lifestyle will change somewhat when you have kids. What seems important to you now may have absolutely no importance when you have a child. It's just something that kinda happens even without thinking about it.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 1:54 PM |
| |
|
mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by muchinluvmichi
Being a mother or parent is a full time job..unfortunatly its not one you get paid for but i think the other 'rewards' are worth any money any job can offer..i kno plenty of families who make verry little and seem to survive, i think its all a matter of perception, balance, and what is most important to your family as a whole... I am not knocking women who work..and can see why some pple may be the one who holds the benefits in the family or makes more money then there hubby so they "hafta" work..but then again thats a choice that family makes when they have children..as i said if i personally couldnt stay home at least part time, then i wouldnt have children..
Honestly, I wasn't gonna come into this so late, but lord girl you keep saying you aren't knocking, but there's all sorts of judging in this and your above statements...I AM a FT working mom...
I admire all SAHM's....it is a huge undertaking (and for most women life-changing as they go from career to SAHM)
For me, I would never be able to be a SAHM, FOR ME. No matter how much money DH made or benefits he had or whatever, I have to work. I work FT and am a FT mother. 24/7 my thoughts and actions are mostly based on Bella and her needs. She is thriving in daycare and SOOO outgoing. The bond we share is unbelievable and I cannot imagine it any different if I was home all day.
I just don't think that someone who isn't TTC or expecting or has a child can really speak in definites like this...EVERTHING changes when you get PG and EVERYTHING changes when that little peanut is laid into your arms.
It's a lifetime commitment...not a job.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 1:55 PM |
| |
|
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I just want to add that while at my former job, the kids I have seen coming out of that daycare were SO SMART! some of them are READING by the age of 3. and not just 1 word. my friend has a 3 yr old who can barely speak.
|
| Posted 10/11/06 1:58 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 6 >> |
