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To find out/or not to find out...WWYD? Serious
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JulieLO
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/11 669 total posts
Name:
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Re: To find out/or not to find out...WWYD? Serious
Posted by FlowerWife
Posted by gina409
i have no idea why u r asking us lol..u have def made ur mind up
LOL ITA!!!!
although i do totally agree with you since im a team  girl and i can't see myself ever not being team .
with my pregnancy at first DH wasn't totally on board but it took very little for me to convince him. then while i was pregnant he loved it. we never did get our "its a girl" moment because of my emergency birth and being under general and him not being in the room and then the baby going to the NICU. so he is 10000% on board for team again next time around (hopefully theres a next time  ). although i think he loved it so much that we might be team always even if we go beyond two babies.
You WILL have another!!! Stay positive...
I, much like you, had a very difficult pregnancy and delivery which was scary...
Im glad I was because that helped me during my pregnancy and delivery...I focused on the "Its a ______" moment instead of all 30+ people in the L&D room, sounds, noises, smells etc.
I guess very few people ...
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Posted 8/3/12 10:52 AM  |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
Name:
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Re: To find out/or not to find out...WWYD? Serious
Posted by JulieLO
Posted by FlowerWife
Posted by gina409
i have no idea why u r asking us lol..u have def made ur mind up
LOL ITA!!!!
although i do totally agree with you since im a team girl and i can't see myself ever not being team .
with my pregnancy at first DH wasn't totally on board but it took very little for me to convince him. then while i was pregnant he loved it. we never did get our "its a girl" moment because of my emergency birth and being under general and him not being in the room and then the baby going to the NICU. so he is 10000% on board for team again next time around (hopefully theres a next time ). although i think he loved it so much that we might be team always even if we go beyond two babies.
You WILL have another!!! Stay positive...
I, much like you, had a very difficult pregnancy and delivery which was scary...
Im glad I was because that helped me during my pregnancy and delivery...I focused on the "Its a ______" moment instead of all 30+ people in the L&D room, sounds, noises, smells etc.
I guess very few people ...
i was def shocked by how few people are team . people were actually annoyed when i was because they wanted to buy gender appropriate gifts  honestly outside of this board i only know one person IRL who were team . one was a close friend and she only did team for her second and third kids (fertile myrtle she is just had her fourth  ). even before going through infertility i couldn't imagine ever finding out. its just not my style to find out.
as far as the birth went though being team green didn't help me at all. i was so scared to deliver a preemie at 33w the gender alone wasn't enough to take away the fear and was def an afterthought at the time. my DH and i always do everything together and we did try and find out moments before i was wheeled into the OR but they said it was too late to do a sono at that point. however the nurses honored our need to find out together and waited til i was awake from surgery to tell us. it was a lovely gesture i just wish i had a memory of it or emotions about it, i was literally so barely awake that i remember them saying it and then i passed out right away again. when i woke up a little while later i did remember so it did register at the time although i didn't even have a memory of that moment until MONTHS later.
im DETERMINED to get that moment next time around
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| Posted 8/3/12 5:22 PM |
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FLS2011
LIF Infant
Member since 8/11 282 total posts
Name:
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Re: To find out/or not to find out...WWYD? Serious
Posted by JulieLO
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by maymama
Posted by JulieLO
Posted by PennyCat
This is why I'm finding out! I feel like a husband in this case since I'm not the one carrying and knowing the gender will help me to bond. I can't wait to find out!
Sorry .. I know I posted earlier.. but I still side with your dh!! 
ugh you girls are killing me...
im just so scared he is going to slip or tell someone...
then what? my surprised will be ruined --- 
what about not telling anyone the name before the birth but letting the sex be known? I think we are going to do this this time around since I want some element of surprise. Everyone will know the sex but will be dying to know the name and then you can still have that moment to announce!!! 
I'm terrible.. People already know our names!! and we don't even have a pregnant surrogate yet! The only way our names will change is if it's twins. (there's a story behind that..)
Sorry to derail from the OP  Julie, just let the guy know the gender..... and then tell him he has US to thank!
Finind out the gender and keeping the name a secret does NOT give the same element of surprise as finding out the baby on the day he/she is born. I apologize, I completely disagree...
After all the months of TTC, I AM the one who has to monitor, calendar my cycles, take my temperatures, log them on a chart, pee on sticks 2x/d for OPK, schedule sex, do all the work (hahahaha) JK but funny, then stress for 2ww, test again, get emotional when its a BFN (he does too but not like me)...go to 1,000's of dr. visits, get blood every other day, sonos 3x/week, HSG test, injections--injections---injections 6 needles a day in MY BODY, 11 IUI's, 3 fresh IVF cycles, ER's ET's, deal with insurance companies, then get a BFP carry a baby for 9 months (high risk/bed rest, PLACENTA ACCRETA, take more meds, deal with the nasty Progesterone shit, moring sickness (not this time around thank god) , watch my diet, rest relax while taking care of a 2 year old and then MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY FOR A C-Section (first time lost 6 pts. of blood, partial hysteroctomy due to accreta which almost influtrated my bladder, almost died) 250 internal stitches from a classical c-section and 50 staples externally..EBF, etc, etc. etc. (there is more but you get the point)
....and you want to find out "just becasue"
I DONT WANT TO KNOW "becuase of everything listed above and the fact that I DID ALL THAT to get pregnant, stay pregnant and give you a healthy baby
I didnt WANT to have to do all this for 5 years to have a baby...none of us WANT to have to do this, we want to have a fun night in bed and get pregnant like the rest of the 17 year olds who cant afford it (jk)
So....if I want to have a surprise since EVERYTHING I have been through was to give us a healthy baby then I dont think that is too much to ask for...
NOW is anyone seeing my point???? 
I totally see your point. I'm a second time mom and although I respect other people's choice to find out, don't think I could ever be persuaded to. As you know, there is no feeling in the world like hearing that news and then being handed a beautiful baby. My dh would find out in a heartbeat but is ok without knowing, especially since I'm so pro . Like you, my dh would definitely spill the beans if he knew, so that would never work. Have you discussed it with him since your original post? I can see how this is a real dilemma because I can't picture myself giving in either. I don't envy you!
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| Posted 8/3/12 7:46 PM |
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beachmama
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/12 599 total posts
Name:
T
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To find out/or not to find out...WWYD? Serious
Part of my concern would be DH using this against me down the road, whenever we make an agreement, he wouldn't have to abide by it, and could throw up the card "remember that time you told me we would find out gender of baby 2, that time you lied." I'm not saying you lied, but I see potential for it to get ugly. You don't see it as a promise, because you were trying to get him to shut up, but he apparently did. So aside from this situation (which is major), it could keep popping up down the road.
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| Posted 8/14/12 7:51 AM |
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JulieLO
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/11 669 total posts
Name:
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Re: To find out/or not to find out...WWYD? Serious
Update:
We had a "SERIOUS" conversation...
I explained to him EXACTLY the way I felt and why I felt that way...I also apologized for saying something I didnt mean and got caught up in the moment with frustration...
Needless to say...he understands, still wants to know but is respecting my decision not to find out...of course, he's going to give me shit for it the next several months and joke constantly but at least he sees where Im coming from...and he even agreed it was the best surprise of his life... :)
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| Posted 8/14/12 10:18 PM |
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lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings
Member since 3/06 6551 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: To find out/or not to find out...WWYD? Serious
Glad this worked out for you, and he understands...I do feel like going through IF, pregnancy, and delivery gives momma the right to some decisions, and glad your DH could see how strongly you felt about this and give you the courtesy of finding out at the birth!!
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| Posted 8/20/12 1:52 PM |
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| Pages: 1 [2] |
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