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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Wedding gift question
Let's say your cousin was getting married. Your mom's brothers daughter. You are already married.
The wedding is coming up, so your mom asks you what the brides parents gave you as a gift. Do you tell her? She needs to know because she wants to give the same.
IMO, it's not anyone's business who gave us what for our wedding. You give what you can afford, not what the coupld getting married gave you.
Thoughts?
I wrote this as a hypothetical.
Message edited 3/2/2008 2:15:16 PM.
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Posted 3/1/08 7:45 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: Wedding gift question
DH and I divulge all gift amounts to both sides (wedding, baby, first birthday, etc). It is as much about not wanting to give too much as too little. We don't mind.
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| Posted 3/1/08 7:50 PM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: Wedding gift question
Yes, if it was my mother...I would tell her what they gave us.
Parent's are old-school like that...
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| Posted 3/1/08 7:50 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift question
DH and I did not divulge what people gave us. My parents didn't ask.
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| Posted 3/1/08 7:52 PM |
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NASP09
...
Member since 6/05 6030 total posts
Name:
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Re:
Message edited 3/29/2010 9:51:59 PM.
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| Posted 3/1/08 7:52 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Wedding gift question
my cousin is getting married and my parents asked me the same thing.
i don't see anything wrong with it... anyone OTHER than my parents, I would be bothered.
I think they just want to make sure to be just as generous.
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| Posted 3/1/08 7:53 PM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Wedding gift question
If shes going to go by how much you got, then she should also consider how long ago your wedding was. If it was 10 yrs ago, she should give more. Weddings are more exspensive now.
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| Posted 3/1/08 7:57 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by BabySammie
If shes going to go by how much you got, then she should also consider how long ago your wedding was. If it was 10 yrs ago, she should give more. Weddings are more exspensive now.
Let's say the weddings are within 2 years of one another. Inflation doesn't really pay a huge part. PLus, their hall is twice as much as your hall was. So even if you gave the same amount as they gave it doesn't "cover the plate."
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| Posted 3/1/08 8:03 PM |
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quasi3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 1764 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Wedding gift question
My mom knows who gave us what as a gift. I had no problem giving her that information.
She just wanted to make sure that she does not give too little
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| Posted 3/1/08 8:08 PM |
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Arieschick29
aries+cancer= pisces&gemini
Member since 3/06 4268 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Wedding gift question
When my IL's asked, we gave them a typed list. Lets just say they go to ALOT of friend's kids weddings
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| Posted 3/1/08 8:22 PM |
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Elizabeth
Mom of Three
Member since 9/05 7900 total posts
Name:
"MOMMY!!!"
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Re: Wedding gift question
If it was my Mother, I'd tell her. A random relative, no but my Mother, yes.
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| Posted 3/1/08 8:24 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Wedding gift question
So maybe it's just me, but I don't like giving people this info. I feel like it's inappropriate to ask us in the first place.
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| Posted 3/1/08 8:28 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Wedding gift question
I have no problem telling my mom and never did. We opened up our envelopes right in front of my parents and wrote the amounts down in a book.
Why should that be a secret?
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| Posted 3/1/08 8:39 PM |
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july06bride
I'm a mom!
Member since 5/05 3966 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Wedding gift question
my mother asked and I didnt see a big deal with telling her
Message edited 3/1/2008 8:42:42 PM.
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| Posted 3/1/08 8:42 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Wedding gift question
I have no problem telling my parents and my IL's who gave us what - it is their friends and (for IL's) their family members so, b/c of that, I don't feel like they are prying into our business - they didn't give a crap what our friends got us - only people that pertained to them. My Mom didn't care what DH's side gave and my MIL didn't care at all what my side gave.
Say my IL's normally give $500 to a family member for a wedding- like a cousin for example - then, say that cousin stiffed us - is it right or fair for my IL's to then go to their wedding a year later and give them $500? Or even if they didn't give nothing - say they gave $100 for two people - It isn't fair that my IL's then have to give them $500, IMO.
Every situation is different but I always try to give what people gave us - My friend gave us $250 for our wedding - then, her wedding was two months later - I made sure to give her $250 - I would feel bad giving less and I would feel like she would be offended if she gave $250 and then I came, two months later, with $100, KWIM?? But that's just me - it is a personal decision and if you don't want to tell your Mom then don't - I would just think it'll make it easier on her when trying to determine a gift amount which can be tricky.
Message edited 3/1/2008 8:51:33 PM.
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| Posted 3/1/08 8:49 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by MrsMerlot
Yes, if it was my mother...I would tell her what they gave us.
Parent's are old-school like that...
I agree...my MIL HAD to know (just from her side)
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| Posted 3/1/08 8:50 PM |
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leese
Sarge!
Member since 5/05 1965 total posts
Name:
Leese
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Re: Wedding gift question
Both our parents have the lists of their respective side. I have nothing to hide and I don't care either way.
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| Posted 3/1/08 9:23 PM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: Wedding gift question
My MIL asked and I didn't mind telling her. I also casually mentioned to my mom that my dads cousin who we are close with gave me a VERY generous gift. Probably the most (after our parents). I wouldn't tell anyone else though.
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| Posted 3/1/08 9:35 PM |
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laurabora
LIF Adult
Member since 4/07 2712 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Wedding gift question
I think I'd ask her what she was planning on giving, and then I'd tip her off as to whether she should up the amount or not.
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| Posted 3/1/08 9:41 PM |
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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!
Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
Name:
Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by MrsMerlot
Yes, if it was my mother...I would tell her what they gave us.
Parent's are old-school like that...
ditto.
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| Posted 3/1/08 10:19 PM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift question
we do this with my mom also. i was the first of my cousins and my parents friends kids to get married. so my mom asked me to keep a list of how much people gave me so that as they get married, she has an idea how much to give.
i have no problem with it. i don't think she gives exactly the same as what they gave me. but, if someone only gave me $50 for 4 people, why should she give them $200? its just good to have a general idea....
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| Posted 3/1/08 10:22 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by igottabeme
Posted by MrsMerlot
Yes, if it was my mother...I would tell her what they gave us.
Parent's are old-school like that...
ditto.
ditto for me- but I also had to tell my Grandma- she goes to alot of events
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| Posted 3/1/08 10:40 PM |
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Re: Wedding gift question
I would tell her even if she didn't ask so that she didn't give to little.
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| Posted 3/1/08 10:45 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift question
I gave my mother a list of her people, and my mother in law a list of mother in laws people... I know people wanted to know so they didnt "undergive" if they were thinking to give less but could afford the higher amount...
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| Posted 3/2/08 1:24 AM |
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sami
So very blessed!! Thank u !!
Member since 8/06 6524 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift question
Posted by MrsMerlot
Yes, if it was my mother...I would tell her what they gave us.
Parent's are old-school like that...
I agree....
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| Posted 3/2/08 1:43 AM |
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