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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?
Posted by MrsMeloyellow
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by Goldi0218
Right. You can teach a child how to walk from point A to point B but emergencies and crises happen in between those two points that mommy and daddy may or may not have taught their children and no matter how "responsible" a child may be, they are still a child and do not know how to respond appropriate to all crises. Shoot I am going to be 41 in a couple of weeks and i get panic attacks every now and again. What happens if a young child does?
That is why you don't leave your child until you are 100% certain they will be ok and I am not sure how long people are speaking about and how far you would be from home.
my point is you NEVER know when they are 100% and even when you THINK you do...a child can surprise you...after all...they're only children
This is true, but smothering won't help matters because someday you will HAVE to give them some freedom, and if they have not been slowly prepared it may be much worse. Many freshman in college get thrown out or drop out freshman year, why? Not cause they learned to walk alone and be some what responsible for themselves.
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Posted 7/18/11 7:51 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?
DS is only 10.5 months, so I have some time before he starts school. When he does he will go to the elementry school I attended around the block from my mom - who watches him all week.
I was allowed to walk home from school at age 11. The school is halfway around the corner, so it takes less than 4 minutes to get there.
However, I walked with 8 other children and my grandmother or grandfather were waiting in the driveway or on the front porch.
DS will be able to do the same thing.
He won't be able to go anywhere else without an adult at that age though.
I was not allowed to hangout off my block until I was 15. And even at that age it was only up the block to the playground. I was allowed to walk 3 blocks to the shopping center if I had another friend to go with. I remember pleading with my mom to let me go to the pizzeria after school. Nope - never happened.
I had a curfew until I was 21 years old - I lived under her roof, so her rules applied. Did I like it? No...but I respect her now for it and I plan on making sure DS has the same respect for me.
I do know he will not be home alone for any amount of time at the age of 10 or 11 or 12 or 13 for that matter...maybe a few hours when he is 14 but it will depend on the situation.
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| Posted 7/18/11 9:46 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?
Maybe you guys are right and I'll think differently when my kids are that age, but I know plenty of 9 and 10 year olds now and I can't imagine them being left home alone.
Honestly, I don't even use sitters who are still in high school. Just my opinion, but I can't see it happening in my family.
I never left my children at 9 or 10 either but once they get into middle school, that is usually the age parents leave them for at least a few hours at a time.
My child has to walk to school so there was no avoiding the walking alone and staying home alone either.
Kids grow and you have to grow too by letting them grow up and be more independent.
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| Posted 7/18/11 10:34 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?
but if something happened and an officer came to your home while you were gone...is it worth risking having your child taken away? it sucks, but if i can't stay home with him, i'll have to figure out a way to get childcare or have a relative get my son or make other arrangements.
I myself...was allowed to walk home from school at a young age bc my mom worked full time. both me and my older sister made flamethrowers out of hairspray and candles...& as a teenager forget it!...I experimented with drugs, had friends over when mom wasn't home, drank...not that i think it was her fault but obviously not having supervision made it alot easier. and my mom was STRICT. if school was out at a certain time i had 10-15 minuted to get home...and i had to call her...from the house phone as soon as i got in. but 15 minutes was enough time to smoke pot with friends on the way home...and once i made that call...coast was clear until she got home.
I have never left my children at an age that I would be in trouble with the law.
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| Posted 7/18/11 10:36 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?
my point is you NEVER know when they are 100% and even when you THINK you do...a child can surprise you...after all...they're only children
Yes, nothing is 100% but you have to let your children grow and learn to be more independent.
They need to learn how to do more things through the years so they will be able to live on their own when they leave my house.
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| Posted 7/18/11 10:37 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?
This is true, but smothering won't help matters because someday you will HAVE to give them some freedom, and if they have not been slowly prepared it may be much worse. Many freshman in college get thrown out or drop out freshman year, why? Not cause they learned to walk alone and be some what responsible for themselves.
Yep, ITA with you.
My mom did everything for us and she doesn't understand why I am teaching my almost 13 yr. old to do her own laundry.
She empties the dishwasher, vacuums, starting to do her own laundry, puts our laundry in and out of the washer and dryer, cleans her room and does a little bit of cooking (not when we are out).
I want her to be independent when she does leave our home one day. I also allow her freedom to walk, right her bike alone and with friends.
I can't hold her back forever as I think that is being a bad parent.
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| Posted 7/18/11 10:40 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?
Posted by twicethefun
This is true, but smothering won't help matters because someday you will HAVE to give them some freedom, and if they have not been slowly prepared it may be much worse. Many freshman in college get thrown out or drop out freshman year, why? Not cause they learned to walk alone and be some what responsible for themselves.
ITA. By allowing them to do things in increments as they get older, they will be more responsible adults, and better able to handle themselves in situations. If they aren't allowed to live and learn (obviously with boundaries), they won't be able to handle themselves when they are on their own.
Even adults get attacked, and I don't plan on walking DC home from graduate school, or from their jobs, so DW and I have to decide how OUR family and OUR kids will be able to handle certain responsibilities and at what age that will happen.
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| Posted 7/18/11 11:58 AM |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
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Michele
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?
When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade (back in 1979-ish), there were no buses that year (budget reasons, I think), so I had to hoof it. My parents were divorced and my mom was at work so I had to walk. I think I was 9. Knowing how naive I was, thank God nothing bad happened to me. I know bad $hit happens everywhere, but growing up in W. Islip is kinda like it's own little bubble.
With my own sons, even though I live in a rural section of NC -- I will probably wait until they are 13 or so before I let them go off alone. Even then........I don't know.....I will probably still be a wreck....
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| Posted 7/18/11 12:21 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?
Posted by leighdvm
When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade (back in 1979-ish), there were no buses that year (budget reasons, I think), so I had to hoof it. My parents were divorced and my mom was at work so I had to walk. I think I was 9. Knowing how naive I was, thank God nothing bad happened to me. I know bad $hit happens everywhere, but growing up in W. Islip is kinda like it's own little bubble.
With my own sons, even though I live in a rural section of NC -- I will probably wait until they are 13 or so before I let them go off alone. Even then........I don't know.....I will probably still be a wreck....
As a mom with older children, you will ALWAYS be a wreck about one thing or another-lol!!. It really doesn't get easier.
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| Posted 7/18/11 1:04 PM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
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Melody
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?
ok, maybe 15 seems a bit much (especially since i have a son which i think is a little different than girls) but at the very least i don't think a child should be left to their own devices until at least they've reached their teens....
as some people stated...it's different if the kid walks in a group and comes home to grandparents or family members in a 2 family home or what have you.
I plan to teach my son to clean his own room, do his own laundry, pick out his own clothes etc. and THAT to me teaches them responsibility...IMO respnsibility and maturity doesn't come from just being left alone. I also don't consider child supervision to be smothering.
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| Posted 7/18/11 1:26 PM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?
I was able to walk home from school with the kids across the street starting in 3rd/4th grade and was allowed to ride my bike to school starting in the 5th grade.
I can remember flying to Cali allow when I was in 4th grade.
Now I can't imagine letting Logan do any of those things but at the same time I want him to be independent and able to do stuff on his own. Glad a I have a few years to figure it out
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| Posted 7/18/11 1:32 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?
Posted by MrsMeloyellow
ok, maybe 15 seems a bit much (especially since i have a son which i think is a little different than girls) but at the very least i don't think a child should be left to their own devices until at least they've reached their teens....
as some people stated...it's different if the kid walks in a group and comes home to grandparents or family members in a 2 family home or what have you.
I plan to teach my son to clean his own room, do his own laundry, pick out his own clothes etc. and THAT to me teaches them responsibility...IMO respnsibility and maturity doesn't come from just being left alone. I also don't consider child supervision to be smothering.
Sometimes this is the only choice parents have. Once kids get to middle school (10,11,12,13,14) there is no after-care for kids. They can do sports and clubs to stay later but that is it.
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| Posted 7/18/11 2:38 PM |
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