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What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

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Stacey1403
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

I honestly have no idea when I will. I freak out if they try to go in our front yard without me!! I actually told Damien about this story (without the gory details) so he can see why I say he can't go out front without me or DH.

I walked to school by myself in kindergartenChat Icon

Posted 7/14/11 7:53 PM
 
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Lucky
Growing up fast!

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Dawn

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

With the way things are, NEVER!

Posted 7/14/11 7:55 PM
 

ChilisWife
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A.K.

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

16 or older depending on circumstances and maturity.

Posted 7/14/11 7:56 PM
 

hazeleyes33
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Ginger

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

Posted by HeathKernandez

and for the people that are saying "I would never let them walk that young"

I have to say... you never know how you will feel when they are *that* age.

I remember thinking I would NEVER let my kid walk home by himself at 9 but you would be surprised at how mature they really are. We just have to teach them to be safe... not to talk to strangers, if anyone approaches them to run into a store...

We can't raise them in bubbles, but DH & I are DEFINITELY going to talk to Aidan about what happened and rethink how much freedom we will allow him this summer.



ITA with you. I couldn't imagine my dd walking home from school and letting herself in, in 6th grade. There was no choice though with both my dh and I working.

Posted 7/14/11 8:12 PM
 

hazeleyes33
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by hazeleyes33

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by headoverheels

Knowing nothing about autism I have to ask... was letting him walk home alone a bigger risk than letting a typical 8 year old boy walk home alone? Because I feel like that's an important distinction.

I would probably say middle school age, or at least old enough to really understand the no talking to strangers rule.



wait...? Did I miss something here? That boy had autism?



http://www.wsbt.com/news/wpix-missing-boy-body,0,5251035.story



Wow, this is the first time I saw an article reference he had autism.

I have to be honest. It was my first thought aft hearing that story, and then I felt even more suspicious when. Aw that picture of him. They couldn't find one picture of him for the poster where he was looking straight at the camera? That made me wonder.

I was also troubled by a few things. Yes, this boy grew up in a sheltered community, so he may lack the street smarts of other kids, and he may not have been taught stranger danger the way other kids may have because of his tight community.... But his lack of problem solving skills troubled me. He didn't look up at the street signs. He didn't think it was odd that he had to wait for a man to pay his dentist bill, and stood for almost ten minutes without thinking maybe his mom would be getting worried how late he is at that point. I fee a typical eight yr old would think, to hell with this, let me ask someone else for directions if I have to stand here now.

Also, they aren't mentioning this boy that much. Wen they talk about a child who has been slaughtered, the media talks about how much he loved super heroes, how he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up, that he was fascinated by butterflies. They say he was shy and devout. That's it. And it's not a matter of privacy in my mind because they gave gruesome details about his death. If I were his mother, I would want people to know who he was, not what his body parts looked like when he was found.

It makes me wonder if he ha some kind of disability that they don't want people to know about because then they will hear how awful they are for letting a child with autism out alone on the streets (and, I hate myself for saying this, but I would agree)

A child with autism is not safe on a street until he is taught all the skills needed to address getting lost, talking to strangers, who to talk to (a store owner versus a random man), and never, ever, EVER go into a person's car. Ever. And those skills need to be role played and practiced. My colleagues have staged "strangers" (friends of theirs that the child doesn't know) to approach their students to then model what to say and do. One even had a child's moth walk away in a supermarket so he wold get lost, and then teach him what to do. A practice run on a route the Friday before his walk home (2 days before he would do it independently) is just not enough.

My heart aches over this. And the fact that he possibly could have been on the spectrum makes my knees weak. My entire life is devoted to teaching these guys life skills so they will hopefully not get preyed on.

This story is killing me.

Chat Icon



Very true. Never thought about that but I was thinking the same thing, why would they let the child walk home by himself if he had autism.
8 is too young without autism, IMO as I have an almost 8 yr. old and still meet him by the bus which is right across the street from my house.

Posted 7/14/11 8:13 PM
 

hazeleyes33
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Ginger

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

My dh argues that times are different but I don't think so.

I think we are just used to more media on things happening in the world at the very second it happens. And they continue with the stories fighting over which media source can make it the worst so you will tune in.

This does not mean that I don't worry about my children but adults can also be robbed, abducted, murdered. It is just life.

Posted 7/14/11 8:21 PM
 

waiting4ablessing
Love my kids!!

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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

When DS is in high school and big enough to defend himself. Till then hes got mommy to protect him from all these crazies in the world. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/14/11 8:22 PM
 

Momma2Be
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Member since 10/09

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Dina

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

After what happened, I'm so tempted to say NEVER but obviously that's not going to happen either.

I think in DS's case, it will definitely depend on his maturity level, proximity to school, and if he's going to be walking alone or in a group but probably not until he's about 13-14 years old.

Posted 7/14/11 8:54 PM
 

miabella
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jessica

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

After seeing all what is going on in the news now a days i would say the age i would allow my dd to walk home alone or anywhere for that matter is in her twenties and maybe not even then :)...lord have mercy on the person who would try to hurt my kid. Chat Icon

Posted 7/14/11 8:58 PM
 

beautyq115
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Me

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

Sometime around...NEVER! I was followed home from the library once. The guy was waiting for me to leave. Thank GOD I saw this girl from school randomly...she probably saved my life. I don't think I ever told my mother this. I think I was in middle school. I replay this over in my head from time to time. It really scares the crap out of me.Chat Icon

Posted 7/14/11 9:44 PM
 

dawnygirl25
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Dawn

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

never!

we live in a scary world!!!Chat Icon

I wasnt allowed until 14 I think.

Posted 7/14/11 10:04 PM
 

hazeleyes33
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Ginger

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

Maybe it is because everyone has small children that they say this but I think once your children get to the age of middle school you will realize that they might have to walk alone.

My dd can take home the bus but she still has to walk a block and around the corner to get home. There is nothing I can do about it but to trust that she will be ok.

Posted 7/14/11 10:11 PM
 

MrsA1012
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Member since 9/10

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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

I intend to raise my kids as I was raised. At 15/16, I was allowed to walk short distances in daylight only in safe neighborhoods when there were lots of people out. As an adult, I am still extremely careful about where I walk and follow the same precautions.

Message edited 7/14/2011 10:22:48 PM.

Posted 7/14/11 10:22 PM
 

sami
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

With all the sick animals out there..never it really is so sad..I get paranoid to leave my son in the backyard alone...it is so very sad...I mean really how much worse can the world get..I really can't even imagine.

Posted 7/14/11 10:24 PM
 

hazeleyes33
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Ginger

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

Posted by sami

With all the sick animals out there..never it really is so sad..I get paranoid to leave my son in the backyard alone...it is so very sad...I mean really how much worse can the world get..I really can't even imagine.



I don't think it HAS gotten worse. I just think we are more aware of it now.

Posted 7/14/11 10:28 PM
 

mommyIam

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Shana

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

Posted by hazeleyes33

Posted by sami

With all the sick animals out there..never it really is so sad..I get paranoid to leave my son in the backyard alone...it is so very sad...I mean really how much worse can the world get..I really can't even imagine.



I don't think it HAS gotten worse. I just think we are more aware of it now.



ditto! we just have to teach our children a lot more now. I think at 8, you can teach them to stay away from strangers, but why this boy didn't stay away I can't imagine.

I grew up in Brooklyn, it was beaten into my head that strangers are evil, I didn't even look store clerks in the eye, when my mom sent me around the corner for bread and milk. I was suspicious if they made any comments to me like "have a good day sweetie" ... my parents where super paranoid and drilled me to be, and righteously so.

I think I was allowed to walk at 10 though. But never more than a block.

Posted 7/14/11 11:35 PM
 

Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy

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Momx100

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

DH and I were just saying that our kids can't go anywhere alone until he they are 16.

Realistically probably 13?

I very clearly remember walking everywhere alone at age 7.

Posted 7/14/11 11:38 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

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Donna

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

I walked to and from school at 8. There were no buses, I lived too close, my Mom had to work too early to drop me off. There were LOTS of kids who did. IMO, way too young! I wasn't ready at all.

My kids? Depends where we live and their maturity level. I will need to wait till they get to that age to decide I think. A close school etc, probably 12.

Posted 7/15/11 12:09 AM
 

Piywacket
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

Totally agree, I just keep looking into the little faces of my boys and can't even imagine letting them go after this story! Not sure when I will ever let them turn the corner without me being a step behind them.

Posted 7/15/11 6:38 AM
 

Sweetlax22
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

I think it would depend on the maturity of my child. I also would never be comfortable with my child walking totally alone at any age but I can see my child walking the 4 blocks home from elementary school with a trusted friend or group of friends once they get into 4th or 5th grade.

But I don't have kids yet so maybe that will change once I actually do.

ETA: My mom remembers walking down merrick road with her cousin who was the same age when they were 6 to go to dance class. If they were sent home sick from school they would call a taxi for the kids to take them home! Chat Icon

Message edited 7/15/2011 9:41:15 AM.

Posted 7/15/11 9:38 AM
 

lvdolphins
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

My elementary school was 2 blocks away!
I walked, I think in 3rd grade with my brother and ALL the neighborhood kids!
We met on my corner.
We were NOT allowed to go just by ourselves!

For my kids, we live close to elementary and Jr. high, but, I WILL be walking with them, or driving them.
If in Jr High they want to go alone, well, I'll be right behind them!

We live far from the high school, so, for that, they'll be bussed!

Posted 7/15/11 10:32 AM
 

hazeleyes33
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Ginger

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

Posted by mommyIam

Posted by hazeleyes33

Posted by sami

With all the sick animals out there..never it really is so sad..I get paranoid to leave my son in the backyard alone...it is so very sad...I mean really how much worse can the world get..I really can't even imagine.



I don't think it HAS gotten worse. I just think we are more aware of it now.



ditto! we just have to teach our children a lot more now. I think at 8, you can teach them to stay away from strangers, but why this boy didn't stay away I can't imagine.

I grew up in Brooklyn, it was beaten into my head that strangers are evil, I didn't even look store clerks in the eye, when my mom sent me around the corner for bread and milk. I was suspicious if they made any comments to me like "have a good day sweetie" ... my parents where super paranoid and drilled me to be, and righteously so.

I think I was allowed to walk at 10 though. But never more than a block.



Yes, kids need to be taught over and over about strangers.

Posted 7/15/11 11:11 AM
 

hazeleyes33
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Ginger

Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

Posted by lvdolphins

My elementary school was 2 blocks away!
I walked, I think in 3rd grade with my brother and ALL the neighborhood kids!
We met on my corner.
We were NOT allowed to go just by ourselves!

For my kids, we live close to elementary and Jr. high, but, I WILL be walking with them, or driving them.
If in Jr High they want to go alone, well, I'll be right behind them!

We live far from the high school, so, for that, they'll be bussed!




What if you are not available though to walk right behind them?

Posted 7/15/11 11:13 AM
 

LiveAgain
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

Never.

No joke.

Unless we're talking walking home from a neighbors house and in that case I'll be standing on the deck waiting for them Chat Icon

Posted 7/15/11 11:17 AM
 

Sweets13
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Re: What age will you allow your DC to walk home from school/camp./wherever alone?

Posted by hazeleyes33

Posted by lvdolphins

My elementary school was 2 blocks away!
I walked, I think in 3rd grade with my brother and ALL the neighborhood kids!
We met on my corner.
We were NOT allowed to go just by ourselves!

For my kids, we live close to elementary and Jr. high, but, I WILL be walking with them, or driving them.
If in Jr High they want to go alone, well, I'll be right behind them!

We live far from the high school, so, for that, they'll be bussed!




What if you are not available though to walk right behind them?



She is a SAHM so I am sure she will have no problem walking behind them.

Posted 7/15/11 1:51 PM
 
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