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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: What are your thoughts?
It's so interesting. I delivered at NSUH where rooming in is strongly encouraged. I expected DS to stay with me. However, due to complications during delivery I ended up in the high risk antepartum recovery ward and I was told that if both adults in the room were sleeping the baby HAD to go to the nursery. So at night I had no choice unless DH was sitting awake with DS. I am EBF and they brought him to me either when he fussed or every 3 hours, whichever came first, during the night. Then he stayed with us at all times during the day. Someone mentioned liability if something happens to the baby and that was definitely the case here because the ward was all women with complications and who weren't very mobile after delivery. I ended up being very grateful for the couple hours break because I was on so many drugs, hooked up to an IV the entire stay, and I couldn't get in and out of bed alone. I would imagine that even if the hospital has a mandatory rooming in policy, there must be exceptions.
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Posted 11/21/13 10:50 AM  |
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Re: What are your thoughts?
The word I'm having a issue with is "mandatory". What's the point of being in the hospital for a few days pp if you aren't able to recover? The time in the hospital is not for the baby, but for the mom...
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| Posted 11/21/13 11:05 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by dlj97
Posted by ourhappysurprise2012
Posted by dlj97
I see nothing wrong with it. It is YOUR baby after all - why should someone else take care of them? Obviously if you are medically unable to I feel differently.
So when you got home you took care of your baby all day and all night everyday? That's ridiiculous. We moved into our new house the same weekend DS was born (he came early) so my husband spent the 2 days I was in the hospital painting and getting the house ready. I had NO ONE to help me at night, and most of the day I was on my own. I was exhausted - and I don't think I brushed off my responsibility for bring him to the nursery for 5 hours so I could sleep.
I pretty much did. I EBF both of my DDs and therefore had to be up to nurse them around the clock. If I had to get up to nurse anyway I saw no sense in waking DH to change a diaper when I could do it myself.
And most people have their DH stay with them in the hospital. I get that that can't always be the case.
I pretty much did too. I was trying to BF so I was the one taking care of him in the hospital. My DH sis not stay over and IMO it was fine with me. And when I got home my DH went back to work so I took care of my DS by myself for 80% of the days anyway.
I see no issue. Moms make such of point of saying they have to bond with the baby etc but have such a problem with the room in policy. I think there is a disconnect in the thinking there.
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| Posted 11/21/13 11:24 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: What are your thoughts?
I sent DS to the nursery when I delievered him. I was exhausted and I needed to sleep. It was the one piece of advice from friends who had BTDT that I appreciated and took.
The nurses took him and asked when I wanted him brought back - he was back in my room by 6:30 the next morning.
I am planning on doing the same with DD in a month.
I will be the one getting up to care for her for the next how ever many nights once she comes home. I hardly think 2 nights rest is going to break our bonding experience.
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| Posted 11/21/13 11:49 AM |
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by BriBri2u
I sent DS to the nursery when I delievered him. I was exhausted and I needed to sleep. It was the one piece of advice from friends who had BTDT that I appreciated and took.
The nurses took him and asked when I wanted him brought back - he was back in my room by 6:30 the next morning.
I am planning on doing the same with DD in a month.
I will be the one getting up to care for her for the next how ever many nights once she comes home. I hardly think 2 nights rest is going to break our bonding experience.
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| Posted 11/21/13 11:52 AM |
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by alli3131
Posted by dlj97
Posted by ourhappysurprise2012
Posted by dlj97
I see nothing wrong with it. It is YOUR baby after all - why should someone else take care of them? Obviously if you are medically unable to I feel differently.
So when you got home you took care of your baby all day and all night everyday? That's ridiiculous. We moved into our new house the same weekend DS was born (he came early) so my husband spent the 2 days I was in the hospital painting and getting the house ready. I had NO ONE to help me at night, and most of the day I was on my own. I was exhausted - and I don't think I brushed off my responsibility for bring him to the nursery for 5 hours so I could sleep.
I pretty much did. I EBF both of my DDs and therefore had to be up to nurse them around the clock. If I had to get up to nurse anyway I saw no sense in waking DH to change a diaper when I could do it myself.
And most people have their DH stay with them in the hospital. I get that that can't always be the case.
I pretty much did too. I was trying to BF so I was the one taking care of him in the hospital. My DH sis not stay over and IMO it was fine with me. And when I got home my DH went back to work so I took care of my DS by myself for 80% of the days anyway.
I see no issue. Moms make such of point of saying they have to bond with the baby etc but have such a problem with the room in policy. I think there is a disconnect in the thinking there.
My husnabd went right back to work also. To each there own - I take offense to 1) the hospital making it a mandatory policy and 2) Other mom's making it seem like if you send your baby to the nursery for a few hours that you're not taking care of your responsibilities.
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| Posted 11/21/13 11:54 AM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by ourhappysurprise2012
That's ridiculous...so sick of "entities" telling women how to act and what to do!
I would make sure not to deliver there.
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| Posted 11/21/13 11:54 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Both of my boys were in the NICU until released(7 and 9 days) I walked there multiple times a day. If I had had a traditional birth with babies who did not need NICU I'm not sure what I would have done. BUT I do think Mom's should have the choice. 2 days for a vbirth is not that long. You should have time to heal and rest before you take on the task of caring for a baby 24-7
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| Posted 11/21/13 11:55 AM |
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GoodThoughts
Dreams do come true
Member since 2/12 2259 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by ourhappysurprise2012
Posted by BriBri2u
I sent DS to the nursery when I delievered him. I was exhausted and I needed to sleep. It was the one piece of advice from friends who had BTDT that I appreciated and took.
The nurses took him and asked when I wanted him brought back - he was back in my room by 6:30 the next morning.
I am planning on doing the same with DD in a month.
I will be the one getting up to care for her for the next how ever many nights once she comes home. I hardly think 2 nights rest is going to break our bonding experience.
Message edited 11/21/2013 11:57:13 AM.
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| Posted 11/21/13 11:56 AM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by BriBri2u
I sent DS to the nursery when I delievered him. I was exhausted and I needed to sleep. It was the one piece of advice from friends who had BTDT that I appreciated and took.
The nurses took him and asked when I wanted him brought back - he was back in my room by 6:30 the next morning.
I am planning on doing the same with DD in a month.
I will be the one getting up to care for her for the next how ever many nights once she comes home. I hardly think 2 nights rest is going to break our bonding experience.
exactly! and I feel bad for moms who put that kind of pressure on themselves. There is nothing wrong with having the nurses help for 1 or 2 nights.
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| Posted 11/21/13 12:00 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by Cacarina
Posted by lcherian
I'm interested in knowing the basis for the policy. Is there some type of psychological benefit for the baby?
Honestly, my guess is it is a cost saving measure. Less nurses needed in the nursery to feed/care for the babies...
I agree, when we took the tour of NSUH they "encouraged" this
I thought it had to do with the push that hospitals (esp. city hosp) were making to encourage breastfeeding.
I had issues with the nurses and insisted on rooming in, even when I was on the high risk floor. But I dont understand why they would force it on any new mother.
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| Posted 11/21/13 12:06 PM |
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AScottWolf
I <3 our squish!
Member since 11/10 2237 total posts
Name:
Adriana
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Re: What are your thoughts?
It should always be the mothers choice.
I delivered at S. Nassau and the nurses were slightly surprised when I asked them to take the baby at night. I delivered in the afternoon and was exhausted by nighttime.
I had a fairly "easy" delivery but I needed to sleep. The last time I slept was 2 days earlier due to contractions. They woke me up every 3 hours to nurse and then took him back.
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| Posted 11/21/13 12:07 PM |
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july4mrsO
Happy boy!
Member since 5/10 2867 total posts
Name:
Jess
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What are your thoughts?
I can't believe they would make it mandatory. Encourage it, fine. But mandatory seems excessive.
FTR my DS roomed in with me the entire time and I slept about 3 hours total for my entire hospital stay while recovering from a c/s. He was EBF and my milk hadn't come in yet. I asked the nursery to take him twice and both times they brought him right back because he kept screaming and they couldn't feed him. I was so incredibly exhausted and my hospital roomie didn't really appreciate us being up all night making a lot of noise. So while I get the importance of rooming in, especially for breast feeding, not being able to get any sleep made for a bad hospital experience. No fault of the hospital/doctors since it was my choice to breastfeed. But at the same time I can totally understand why someone would ask the nursery to take the baby so they can get some rest.
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| Posted 11/21/13 12:09 PM |
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Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts?
I delivered at StonyBrook and we had the option back in 2011. I thought I would want him to go to the nursery at night but I chose for him to stay with me. The last night we were there, the nurse took him to the nursery for 4 hours so I could get some rest and they had to do a 3 hour test on him anyway. I was thankful she did that, but if I had to choose I would've said for him to stay with me.
I think it should still be left up to the mother to decide.
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| Posted 11/21/13 12:16 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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What are your thoughts?
I had my DD stay with me the entire hospital stay, but I'm glad that I had the choice to have them take her to the nursery, if I wanted. I actually regret not having them take her at night. I didn't sleep at all while I was there...and I was exhausted. It would've been nice to get at least (2) nights of good sleep.
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| Posted 11/21/13 12:25 PM |
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petvet
LIF Adult
Member since 5/08 1238 total posts
Name:
Meredith
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Re: What are your thoughts?
That's terrible. I really think that everyone should have the option for a break/help if they need it, though I see nothing wrong with encouraging rooming in for bonding/learning about your baby etc. Not having an option seems unnaceptable. I kept the baby with me every second but my DH was also there to do whatever needed to be done as in lifting/changing the baby and bringing him to me to nurse(I could barely get out of bed for 2 days after labor). It's amazing how hormones work though even though I was exhausted and didn't sleep for like 3 dys straight I became instantly panicky if they took DS away for ANYTHING. Iethery way that option needs to be there for new moms and I would probably have needed it if I didn't have my DH for round the clock help.
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| Posted 11/21/13 4:10 PM |
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alisha
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1199 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Honestly this post has me 
I can't believe how many of you don't/didn't want your baby in the room with you! That was a requirement for me, actually the very first question I asked on my hospital tour. I wanted my baby with me every second.
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| Posted 11/21/13 5:29 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by alisha
Honestly this post has me
I can't believe how many of you don't/didn't want your baby in the room with you! That was a requirement for me, actually the very first question I asked on my hospital tour. I wanted my baby with me every second.
Everyone is different! I had two wonderful experiences at Winthrop-- the nurses ENCOURAGED me to keep the baby in the nursery at night. They told me not to be a hero and to sleep while I could, because I wouldn't get a solid night of sleep again for ages (true!!!) I'm really glad I was able to rest and recover for 3 nights before coming home to some really tough nights.
I had a private room so I didn't have to worry about a roommate's baby keeping me up all night.
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| Posted 11/21/13 6:14 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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What are your thoughts?
Although rooming-in was a positive (and Optional) experience for me personally, I learned that there are cultures who encourage that the baby be kept in the nursery so that mom could rest and keep warm. I also learned that nurses and medical professionals are highly entrusted with the care of the babies in these cultures, and they wouldn't have it any other way.
Alisha, in cases of difficult recoveries, some women just can't do it, while others just choose not to. I don't think it's an issue of bonding vs. needing rest.
Just as individuals as their babies, mommies have needs too. The nurses and staff at NSLIJ never made me feel pressured to take the babies in or send them to the Nursery.
But there was a choice.
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| Posted 11/21/13 6:32 PM |
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by alisha
Honestly this post has me
I can't believe how many of you don't/didn't want your baby in the room with you! That was a requirement for me, actually the very first question I asked on my hospital tour. I wanted my baby with me every second.
Because not everyone is you. Not wanting your baby with you every second doesn't make someone less of a mother. 2.5 years in, I still don't want my children with my every second. Most seconds, yes.  But not EVERY second. But I would never judge a mother who didn't agree with me. More important things to over.
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| Posted 11/21/13 6:38 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: What are your thoughts?
I had my DS in the room with me the whole time except for just a few hours the second night. I honestly could not have done it without my dh who stayed with me 24/7. It's not even safe. The high amount of pain killers I was on that first night made me so drowsy, I fell asleep in bed while holding the baby. My dh was on standby--- but without him it would have been a safety issue!
Eta: just wanted to add that though rooming in was encouraged (Winthrop), it was not forced. Personally though, I'm very happy we had him with us 95% of our stay. I even regret the few hours we sent him to the nursery  . I couldn't sleep and took a walk to visit him.
Message edited 11/21/2013 6:42:17 PM.
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| Posted 11/21/13 6:40 PM |
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AllyMally
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/13 881 total posts
Name:
Alyson
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by Naturalmama
Posted by alisha
Honestly this post has me
I can't believe how many of you don't/didn't want your baby in the room with you! That was a requirement for me, actually the very first question I asked on my hospital tour. I wanted my baby with me every second.
Because not everyone is you. Not wanting your baby with you every second doesn't make someone less of a mother. 2.5 years in, I still don't want my children with my every second. Most seconds, yes. But not EVERY second. But I would never judge a mother who didn't agree with me. More important things to over.
She never said it made anyone less of a mother. She just doesn't understand it and I don't either.
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| Posted 11/21/13 7:21 PM |
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by AllyMally
Posted by Naturalmama
Posted by alisha
Honestly this post has me
I can't believe how many of you don't/didn't want your baby in the room with you! That was a requirement for me, actually the very first question I asked on my hospital tour. I wanted my baby with me every second.
Because not everyone is you. Not wanting your baby with you every second doesn't make someone less of a mother. 2.5 years in, I still don't want my children with my every second. Most seconds, yes. But not EVERY second. But I would never judge a mother who didn't agree with me. More important things to over.
She never said it made anyone less of a mother. She just doesn't understand it and I don't either.
Understood and I apologize. I still don't think it is for anyone to "understand" though. Not everyone thinks the same way.
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| Posted 11/21/13 7:35 PM |
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prunepie
LIF Adult
Member since 7/06 4357 total posts
Name:
jennifer
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by alli3131
I have no issue with it. That's basically how it was at good Sam.
I had my ds at good sam had c section. he was in nicu for 7 days so he was never with me. but I saw other ladies who had c's walking the halls and dying in pain and their baby wasn't with them full time in their rooms this was 2012..............but question...in the mandatory hospitals....where it was a reg vaginal birth...........if a woman was feeling ill or in pain or even just freaking out and needed 3 or 4 hours of sleep......would the nurses literally say tough shit and walk away if you asked them to take the baby for a few hours? like what do they do...call a psych eval on you?
Message edited 11/21/2013 7:47:52 PM.
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| Posted 11/21/13 7:43 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts?
Posted by alli3131
I see no issue. Moms make such of point of saying they have to bond with the baby etc but have such a problem with the room in policy. I think there is a disconnect in the thinking there.
What? This makes ZERO sense. No one needs to bond for 24 hours a day. So I sent my LO to the nursery from like 11 pm to 6 am (or something like that). They brought her to me to nurse *every 3 hrs*. What bonding time did I miss out on? We did skin to skin all day long. She was with me all my waking hours. I fail to see where the disconnect is.
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| Posted 11/21/13 7:48 PM |
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