| Posted By |
Message |
|
|
Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
My DS sees my side of the family everyday because they watch him while I work. DH's parents on the other hand havent seen DS in 2 weeks and they live only 10 mins away. We've invited them over more times than I care to think about and they always decline. We have to bring him there if we want him to see them. They dont even call to ask how hes doing! It just bothers me. They have another grandchild from DH's sister thats around the same age as my DS and they see him everyday because they watch him while SIL works. It just makes me sad for my poor DS who loves everyone and is such a loving baby but his own grandparents dont care to know him... 
Am I being sensitive or would that bother you too???
|
Posted 7/6/10 9:36 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
It would definitely bother me, but what can you really do? Not too much. Hopefully as your DC gets older they will change their tune. 
|
| Posted 7/6/10 9:41 PM |
| |
|
NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
It wouldn't really bother me, to me two weeks isn't a very long time. My DHs family sees DS MAYBE once a month. It is very rare that they come here, we have to go there. His mom is still working, so weekdays are out and weekends tend to be busy, it can be tough to coordinate.
I'm sorry you are feeling upset by them, I doubt that they don't want to know him, maybe they are not very social, or are tired from watching another child all week. Is there someway you could bring it up without hurting them? Maybe tell them you know they are busy, but you'd really love to plan a few days where you could get together?
Message edited 7/6/2010 9:48:56 PM.
|
| Posted 7/6/10 9:43 PM |
| |
|
Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
It would absolutely bother me... but I'm guessing there's more here than meets the eye, as it were?
If they're watching your niece/nephew FT Mon-Fri, they may actually be *shot* at the end of the day/week, so maybe they feel like you should come to them? I wouldn't be too upset if that's the case, I think grandparents who can and do watch little ones while the parents work are AMAZING people, but it's a tiring, no, exhausting gig most of the time. So I'd try to be flexible if that were the reason.
If you feel like they just "couldn't care less" about you/DH/DC then that's another matter, what does your DH think about the whole thing?
|
| Posted 7/6/10 9:47 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
Posted by colette
It would absolutely bother me... but I'm guessing there's more here than meets the eye, as it were?
If they're watching your niece/nephew FT Mon-Fri, they may actually be *shot* at the end of the day/week, so maybe they feel like you should come to them? I wouldn't be too upset if that's the case, I think grandparents who can and do watch little ones while the parents work are AMAZING people, but it's a tiring, no, exhausting gig most of the time. So I'd try to be flexible if that were the reason.
If you feel like they just "couldn't care less" about you/DH/DC then that's another matter, what does your DH think about the whole thing?
DH is upset by it too because we invite them over to our house all the time and they decline but will go to SIL's house all the time. We're just frustrated with them. Dont get me wrong, I'm sure its exhausting watching our nephew all day, but then at least call and see how DS is doing kwim. Show some signs of caring about how hes doing.
|
| Posted 7/6/10 9:52 PM |
| |
|
Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
Posted by waiting4ablessing
DH is upset by it too because we invite them over to our house all the time and they decline but will go to SIL's house all the time. We're just frustrated with them. Dont get me wrong, I'm sure its exhausting watching our nephew all day, but then at least call and see how DS is doing kwim. Show some signs of caring about how hes doing.
OK yeah that would bother me. If your and DH's relationship with them has always been "strained" for lack of a better word, I suppose it would be par for the course, but if it's a new development I'd be hurt and angry that they are so disinterested.
But you really seriously CANNOT change anyone, all you can do is *try* to engage them (like bring him there once or twice a month, just to establish a routine and relationship, kwim). What they do with your effort is on them, but at least you can say you tried.
|
| Posted 7/6/10 9:56 PM |
| |
|
Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
Yup it would bother me. My parents don't get to see DC all that often because we live in NJ but they probably saw DD #1 more than my MIL who lived a few minutes away. She watches my SIL's kids too and is there everyday with them, but when DD #1 was little I would ask her to stop by and I always got an excuse. Now that DD#2 is here, she realized how much she missed out on and has tried to make more of an effort but it's still hurtful.
|
| Posted 7/7/10 7:15 AM |
| |
|
Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
I have a similar situation and yes, it pi$$es me off. My IL's live a half hour away and they NEVER see my DD, never ask about her, never ask to see her, never comment on pics I send, and so on. We had them over for Xmas day and that's the last time they have been to our house. They have seen our DD exactly 2 times since Xmas and it's only because we stopped over there for an hour or two.
It's insane to me how they cannot take an interest in this beautiful, amazing, little girl of ours.............my parents and family cannot get enough of her. They see her ALL The time. When my DD does see my DH's parents he says "Go say hi to Grandma and Grandpa" and my DD runs to the door looking for my parents. 
Seriously though, they take zero interest in her and after almost 22 months I am at the point where I barely care anymore. My feeling is I shouldn't have to chase after anyone to be in my DD's life and if they care about her and want to play any kind of role in her life then it's on them to make the effort, not me. Been there, done that, and it gets me nowhere.
|
| Posted 7/7/10 7:42 AM |
| |
|
headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
It would bother me... but maybe they are tired from watching their other grandchild all day? That's the only thing I can think of.
ETA: I saw your other post... yes that would bother me very much if they went to SILs all the time. Not cool 
Message edited 7/7/2010 8:10:22 AM.
|
| Posted 7/7/10 8:09 AM |
| |
|
NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
Posted by waiting4ablessing
DH is upset by it too because we invite them over to our house all the time and they decline but will go to SIL's house all the time. We're just frustrated with them. Dont get me wrong, I'm sure its exhausting watching our nephew all day, but then at least call and see how DS is doing kwim. Show some signs of caring about how hes doing.
After reading this post, yes it would bother me quite a bit. I could understand if they were older and tired out, but to favor one grandchild and family over another is wrong and hurtful. I am sorry you have to deal with this.
|
| Posted 7/7/10 8:59 AM |
| |
|
MrsSpring
I'm a lucky mama
Member since 1/10 7585 total posts
Name:
L
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
agree that they prob are crazy tired from watching the other kids. try not to take it personal.
|
| Posted 7/7/10 9:02 AM |
| |
|
labonnevie
sometimes 1+1= 4 <3
Member since 8/09 3869 total posts
Name:
the lucky one
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
It would absolutely bother me. My IL's thankfully live in Florida, but made not one effort to come up here when DD was born. I was beyond pi$$ed and upset (even though I can truly care less about them). With that being said, I have developed a whole new perspective as a mother. And if someone like grandparents fail to place my DD in the important part of their life, then they can go $crew. I don't believe in having to continually ask, beg, demand grandparents or anyone for that matter to visit with my daughter. Place them at a distance like they have you.
BTW I am trying to not channel my frustrations with my own IL's into my response for your situation but I feel so strongly about it!
|
| Posted 7/7/10 10:13 AM |
| |
|
Kristin616
Member since 8/06 3595 total posts
Name:
Kris
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
Their loss! They are missing out on seeing that handsome little fella 
|
| Posted 7/8/10 9:44 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
Posted by Kristin616
Their loss! They are missing out on seeing that handsome little fella
mwa! xoxo
|
| Posted 7/8/10 9:49 PM |
| |
|
junebride06
love my boys!
Member since 2/08 3181 total posts
Name:
Robin
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
I can relate with a particular family member of mine and you have to just remind yourself that they are misssing out on so much and it is completely their loss, it's ashame. I just cannot and will never understand situations like this and going through it is painful but definitely makes you completely change how you feel about them as "family", atleast in my case I feel so differently now that this has happened and continues to go on.
|
| Posted 7/8/10 9:52 PM |
| |
|
MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Would this bother you too or am I just being sensitive?? IL's related...
It would and does bother me, except in my case its my brother. They live 5 min away and have a DD 3 weeks older than my DS and we hardly ever see them. My brother and I were close til he married my SIL. Our kids adore each other. It makes me
|
| Posted 7/8/10 10:25 PM |
| |
|
