MIL related, would this bother you?

Not sure if I am making a big deal out of nothing. Roman and my Mil's birthday are 2 days apart. Roman's actual birthday falls on this Wed. so we decided to have a family dinner and cake for the two of them this past Saturday. I am going to day care on Wednesday so Roman can have a little Spiderman themed party with his friends. MIL insists on seeing him on his actual birthday and wants to come. I just feel like she HAS to always be there and we can never do anything just as a family w/o her. Is it so wrong for her NOT to see him on his actual birthday? They both celebrated together this past weekend. Would it bother you if your MIL HAD to be included in EVERYTHING?

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

That would definitely annoy me.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

Depends on the MIL. If she is sweet, usually non-intruding and good to Dc, than, no I'd suck it up and understand. If she is always intruding, all about her, she knows best kind, then yes, I would be annoyed

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

YES!, if she was the intruding kind... i guess its all about setting limits and boundries with out offending her. I would talk to DH about this and have him suggest to MIL that you already celebrated her b day with ds and you will see her in a couple of days.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

no

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

No. Because my children would love to have any of their grandparents come to their school, especially for their birthday.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

well my MIL doesnt really like to do things like that, she didnt come to DD 2nd birthday party because we were having a party at the house too. she only came to our house for cake.
she didnt care that diego was coming to the party place we had it at she didnt care to see her reaction when he showed up...she also isnt into pumpkin picking or anything as far as events with us. its just not her "thing" which is fine. so that wouldnt really be an issue for us with the situation your in.... however, i can understand how you feel and i think it would bother me a little a family member was over bearing. i feel that some things i want to do as a family just us. couldnt you have your MIL over after daycare so at least she can see him on his actual birthday but not participate at the daycare party? you can maybe tell her sure come over when we get in from daycare for cake? what does your DH say about it?

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

Posted by 1stimemom

Depends on the MIL. If she is sweet, usually non-intruding and good to Dc, than, no I'd suck it up and understand. If she is always intruding, all about her, she knows best kind, then yes, I would be annoyed

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

Yes, it would bother me. My MIL invites herself to things that I would rather her not be there too.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

I dont think your wrong Im sure she isnt trying to do harm? I would personally like that idea...It would make my DS happy!!!

Would you feel the same if it was your own mother?

Message edited 1/26/2009 7:01:19 PM.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

Well, if my MIL actually came to anything having to do with any of her grandchildren, I'd probably die of shock, so no, it wouldn't bother me b/c it would be nice for her to share in his life.

And I always saw my grandparents on my birthday growing up, I guess I wouldn't expect it to be any other way.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

I would be annoyed personally bc my MIL watches him all day. if she didn't see him much then I would be ok with it

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

That particular situation would not bother me but I generally feel that I don't have time to deal with family during the week unless there is an emergency or religious holiday. I don't like to be expected to show up for dinner midweek because I am busy.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

I know there is "history" or should I say "herstory" with this MIL, right?

As someone who had both of their IL's over everyday, all day for the first 7 months of my DC's life and stop by all of the time yeah, I'd agree with you.

I just recently told DH we are doing something, just the 4 of us for DC's 2nd b-day, and when we return IL's can come over for cake but they are not spending the whole day with us.

From past posts, I think shes all about her and not really all about her grandkids, right?

Maybe we can set up a lunch date between our MIL's on Roman's b-day and my DC's birthday... that will keep them occupied.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

It really depends on the MIL in question. In this case, though, without knowing any background information, I think it would be really nice for your DS to have his grandmother at school celebrating his birthday.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

Posted by InShock

It really depends on the MIL in question. In this case, though, without knowing any background information, I think it would be really nice for your DS to have his grandmother at school celebrating his birthday.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

I wouldn't mind. DD would love to have her grandmas meet her friends and teachers at school.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

Posted by Stacey1403

No. Because my children would love to have any of their grandparents come to their school, especially for their birthday.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

I would probably just suck it up and let her come, but I would be annoyed too. My MIL pulls stuff like that too. DH and I took DS last year to see fireworks for the first time. I was so excited because I love 4th of July. Well DH's parents showed up and held him the whole time so I didn't even get to enjoy it with him. I was sooo upset. So I can relate to you.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

Yes, I would be very annoyed.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

Yes I would be annoyed. Then I'd do my best to get over it. For me, my kids loving seeing their grandmother & the attention they get trumps any kind of annoyance I'd have.

I try, really try to put myself in their shoes - if my son has a baby...I'm sure I'd want to see the baby on his birthday too. I'm hoping not to be the annoying MIL but I think we're all in that role eventually.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

YES... my MIL tried pulling this with us. We ended up having a big fight and we no longer speak because she didnt understand the importance of OUR family time. I hope your MIL respects your needed time.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

My MIL has to be included in on everything (or so she thinks) and it drives me nuts...

So yes, it would bug me...

I would just say that you are going to go alone and that maybe you'll "stop by" later that afternoon.

Message edited 1/27/2009 7:21:23 AM.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?

Yeah, probably.

It's great that she wants to be there for everything but when that changes to she "has" to be there, that's a bit much.

There is a fine line between enthusiastic grandparents and pushy grandparents and it makes all the difference.

Re: MIL related, would this bother you?