Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

I have a best friend that I am always brutally honest with. We never beat around the bush and appreciate each other giving honest opinions and thoughts.

I went to her house this past weekend after not being there for awhile and DH and I both noticed that it smells strongly of dog pee.

She has admitted to me in the past that they sometimes let the dog pee on the tiled floor in the semi-unfinished-basement because they don't feel like letting her out (access to the backyard is only from the basement).

You could tell there was a pine-cleaning type smell but you could also detect the pee.

I think I'd want to know if my house smelled like pee, but at the same time I'd be horribly embarassed.

Any advice? If your best friend's house smelled like pee, would you tell them?

Message edited 6/8/2009 1:23:57 PM.

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

if you have a history of being brutally honest with her and she apprecaites that...TELL HER!

not for nothing but their laziness is just inexcusable cause they are just souring up their own home! no matter how much you clean, if you keep letting a dog pee indoors--it WILL stink. and think of how that smell will magnify in the summer.

be a friend and say that you are saying something cause what if she has family or other friends over and they smell it--i'd be mortified if people came to my place and thought it smelled!

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

I would hazard a guess that she already knows.

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

wow - we have un unfinished basement and my mother still cleans it with bleach once a week. i cant even fathom that kind of laziness. . .

but i digress, i would tell her b/c I would want to know.

eta: i hope i dont offend, bc you didnt ask this but learning of her little "time saver" i would NEVER be eating in that house - sorry. if that is acceptable who knows what else is?

Message edited 6/8/2009 1:39:03 PM.

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

If you are brutally honest with all the time. You should no problem telling her this. Just call her and say Hey I wanted to mention when we were over your place the other day, it smelled really bad for some reason. I don't want you to be offended in any way but I am always honest with you and I would want to know myself. It smelled like pee or something.

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

I would tell her "nice try with the pine, but it can't over power the pee"

if she was really my friend, I wouldn't want her to be embarrassed further by believing her subterfuge worked and no one could smell it.

and I would also tell her how gross I think it is that she lets the dog pee anywhere in the house.

I would never keep something like that to myself.

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Best friend that you are brutally honest with? Absolutely tell her.

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Posted by melbalalala

Posted by Tilde

eta: i hope i dont offend, bc you didnt ask this but learning of her little "time saver" i would NEVER be eating in that house - sorry. if that is acceptable who knows what else is?

You definitely didn't offend me, that's for sure. I didn't even think of it that way... which is odd because I'm a huge germ freak.

At one point, I got a little chocolate on her gorgeous couch and she said "don't worry about it, the dog pees on the couch all the time".

It FLOORS me because she is all about keeping up appearances and has a beauitfully decorated home.. yet that doesn't seem crazy to her.

I worry she'll blame me to the fact that I'm not a "dog person". (I don't dislike dogs, I just don't want to own one)

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

there's no getting around the awkwardness of that situation, but if you have a history of being honest with her about everything, you should tell her. I would say that they are now desensitized to the amonia smell and so they may be using the pinesol just b/c they think that's doing the job of cleaning up. I'd tell her, and maybe do it in an email so that she has time to process your words, and not be extra embarrassed if you do it in person or on the phone.

perhaps you can start off by asking if they are still letting the dog go in the basement, and if she asks why, just say that you detected the smell of amonia the other day and were wondering.

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

i remember when my bestfriend was living at her future husband family house. i told her your house smells like dog pee.. but they also had like 8 dogs they werent hers .they were her fh family dogs she wasnt mad she already knew.

Message edited 6/8/2009 1:53:09 PM.

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

i would tell her in a sneaky way .........maybe next time you go there say that you smell pee - and say - "omg, i think the dog just peed somewhere, b/c i smell it" (do this when there is no pee of course) then when she checks and there is no pee maybe she'll realize you can smell it lingering in the house

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

I'm a huge dog person. We have had up to 4 dogs and a litter of puppies at one point. And her whole mindset is just whacked and unacceptable. The dogs should not be on the couch, nonetheless peeing on them. That is so disgusting, and for the fact that she says the dog pees on this or that so nonchalantly is WEIRD!!! I wouldn't eat at her house anymore, yuckies!!!

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Posted by baghag

Posted by melbalalala

At one point, I got a little chocolate on her gorgeous couch and she said "don't worry about it, the dog pees on the couch all the time".

It FLOORS me because she is all about keeping up appearances and has a beauitfully decorated home.. yet that doesn't seem crazy to her.

I voted to tell her, but after reading this part, it sounds like she wouldn't care.

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

If this were a friend I was brutally honest with all the time, I'd have told her when she admitted to intentionally letter her dog pee in the basement that I thought that was disgusting, unsanitary, and BEYOND lazy.

And yes, I'd tell her that her house smells like dog pee.

I can't imagine having a dog and being too lazy to go down to the basement to let the dog outside. If we're talking about brutal honesty, your friend sounds irresponsible and lazy to me.

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Posted by melbalalala

You definitely didn't offend me, that's for sure. I didn't even think of it that way... which is odd because I'm a huge germ freak.

At one point, I got a little chocolate on her gorgeous couch and she said "don't worry about it, the dog pees on the couch all the time".

It FLOORS me because she is all about keeping up appearances and has a beauitfully decorated home.. yet that doesn't seem crazy to her.

I worry she'll blame me to the fact that I'm not a "dog person". (I don't dislike dogs, I just don't want to own one)

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Posted by MrsQ-in2007

Posted by melbalalala

You definitely didn't offend me, that's for sure. I didn't even think of it that way... which is odd because I'm a huge germ freak.

At one point, I got a little chocolate on her gorgeous couch and she said "don't worry about it, the dog pees on the couch all the time".

It FLOORS me because she is all about keeping up appearances and has a beauitfully decorated home.. yet that doesn't seem crazy to her.

I worry she'll blame me to the fact that I'm not a "dog person". (I don't dislike dogs, I just don't want to own one)

WAIT, did I just read that correctly??? She said the dog pees on her COUCH all the time?!?!?!??????? Ok, I have a dog and love dogs, but letting them pee on the basement floor is and peeing on the couch?!?

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

I would totally tell my friends if their homes stunk. I wouldn't beat around the bush either.

In defense of your friend:

I'm sure it just "tinkles" on the couch. I'm bet the dog doesn't flat out do it's business there.

I don't think she's irresponsible either. I can SO see letting the dog pee in the unfinished basement. Once you go to re-do it - you clean it and Zinnser prime that floor and you're good to go. I am not fazed by people's cleaning habits though... I've seen it all. I've had many an animal in my lifetime and once they get to that age, sometimes they go wherever. A diaper can only do so much (there's that sneaky tail, needing a little hole in the diaper, whoops, there goes some doods). And you don't want to put the dog or cat down b/c the vet says they're not in any pain, and they still eat and drink OK.... So - it's really not that bad. At least not to me. It's not like the dog is peeing on the kitchen table.


I like Ophelia's suggestion. It sounds like a perfect way to say it without being judgemental.

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Message edited 6/8/2009 2:45:31 PM.

Re: Would you tell a really good friend that her house smelled bad?

Posted by melbalalala


it's a little dog (a jack russell terrier, I think?) and is easily excitable and has accidents all the time.

I'm not defending the dog, because I'm definitely not it's biggest fan

I've never really had a dog so I have NO idea what normal dog behavior/accidents are like.