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Beck
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 1334 total posts
Name:
still can't believe it's mommy
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Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
On top of DD's bad napping habits, this past week she's been getting worse & worse at bedtime.
When she was younger I would rock her for ever. As it got longer & longer (I'm talking over a hour of rocking) I finally had to let her CIO.
She's been great since then until recently.
Last night & tonight I had to just let her cry it's just awful.
Between her napping & bedtime dramatics it's really hard to stay sane.
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Posted 10/2/12 9:47 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Silibee3
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 799 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Me! Me! :( I did CIO and then around 12mo she started freaking out at bedtime and then had THE WORST sleep the week before her birthday... I was going to get ready to CIO again but then she got sick and is finally getting better (3wks later...grrr) So now I'm actually nervous to try it again....she's more verbal now, I know she'll cry out for me:(
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| Posted 10/3/12 12:17 AM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
I just had to do CIO with my 2yo again when baby #3 came home. It was rough for about a week and a half (older and more persistent than when I did it a year ago), but now he's back to his routine. I had to reward him with squinkies to stay in bed all night long.
I even called the ped to make sure I wasn't traumatizing him with CIO and his words were, "he's playing you." SO, that's all I needed to feel confident that I wasn't scarring him emotionally for life.
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| Posted 10/3/12 12:28 AM |
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Beck
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 1334 total posts
Name:
still can't believe it's mommy
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Posted by Silibee3
Me! Me! :( I did CIO and then around 12mo she started freaking out at bedtime and then had THE WORST sleep the week before her birthday... I was going to get ready to CIO again but then she got sick and is finally getting better (3wks later...grrr) So now I'm actually nervous to try it again....she's more verbal now, I know she'll cry out for me:(
Good luck, it's so hard
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| Posted 10/3/12 3:50 PM |
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Beck
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 1334 total posts
Name:
still can't believe it's mommy
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Posted by nyteacher13
I just had to do CIO with my 2yo again when baby #3 came home. It was rough for about a week and a half (older and more persistent than when I did it a year ago), but now he's back to his routine. I had to reward him with squinkies to stay in bed all night long.
I even called the ped to make sure I wasn't traumatizing him with CIO and his words were, "he's playing you." SO, that's all I needed to feel confident that I wasn't scarring him emotionally for life.
This is so encouraging, thanks!
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| Posted 10/3/12 3:51 PM |
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Grill
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 994 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
I just had to do CIO with my 2yo again when baby #3 came home. It was rough for about a week and a half (older and more persistent than when I did it a year ago), but now he's back to his routine. I had to reward him with squinkies to stay in bed all night long.
I even called the ped to make sure I wasn't traumatizing him with CIO and his words were, "he's playing you." SO, that's all I needed to feel confident that I wasn't scarring him emotionally for life.
Since you put this out there on a public website, I'm feeling compelled to respond. Your 2 yo was in great need for you when you brought home another baby. This is NOT "playing you" as your doctor suggested. In fact, while children may manipulate situations for their needs to get met, they are NOT malicious. They are innocent, loving, and needy for your attention, comfort, approval ALL the time, not just during adult waking hours. Your doctor has no training in child psychology or on your particular child or household. Making a statement like that is outside the scope of medical practice, it's unprofessional and it's absolutely rude. Toddlers are people too....with feelings and emotions that are just as real and painful as our adult ones. Neglecting them by forcing them to cry alone, in the dark while their real need for love and attention and security goes unmet is not nice. I'm really sorry to hear that your doctor's idiocy offered you confidence. My goodness, 2 yrs old is still a baby in so many ways. Bringing home a sibling is very stressful for everyone in the family, especially our little ones who's world just got rocked. May you be blessed with more restful nights and with very forgetful, forgiving children. Your story is a sad one to me...it's very "anti" child all around.
ETA: I realize you have several little ones and I fully understand that sometimes the needs of one get sacrificed for the greater good. This is a necessity in large families...but it's a sad one..especially when it results in so many tears.
Message edited 10/3/2012 4:08:56 PM.
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| Posted 10/3/12 4:03 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17792 total posts
Name:
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Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
It's common to have to do it more than once - we've done it a couple of times with DS 1 and are getting ready to do it again with him and with DS 2.
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| Posted 10/3/12 4:26 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Posted by Grill
I just had to do CIO with my 2yo agaiwhen baby #3 came home. It was rough for about a week and a half (older and more persistent than when I did it a year ago), but now he's back to his routine. I had to reward him with squinkies to stay in bed all night long.
I even called the ped to make sure I wasn't traumatizing him with CIO and his words were, "he's playing you." SO, that's all I needed to feel confident that I wasn't scarring him emotionally for life.
Since you put this out there on a public website, I'm feeling compelled to respond. Your 2 yo was in great need for you when you brought home another baby. This is NOT "playing you" as your doctor suggested. In fact, while children may manipulate situations for their needs to get met, they are NOT malicious. They are innocent, loving, and needy for your attention, comfort, approval ALL the time, not just during adult waking hours. Your doctor has no training in child psychology or on your particular child or household. Making a statement like that is outside the scope of medical practice, it's unprofessional and it's absolutely rude. Toddlers are people too....with feelings and emotions that are just as real and painful as our adult ones. Neglecting them by forcing them to cry alone, in the dark while their real need for love and attention and security goes unmet is not nice. I'm really sorry to hear that your doctor's idiocy offered you confidence. My goodness, 2 yrs old is still a baby in so many ways. Bringing home a sibling is very stressful for everyone in the family, especially our little ones who's world just got rocked. May you be blessed with more restful nights and with very forgetful, forgiving children. Your story is a sad one to me...it's very "anti" child all around.
ETA: I realize you have several little ones and I fully understand that sometimes the needs of one get sacrificed for the greater good. This is a necessity in large families...but it's a sad one..especially when it results in so many tears.
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| Posted 10/3/12 4:37 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
One more thing : how you would you feel if you were overwhelmed by powerful emotions and were crying and your dh left you to cry without any comfort or attention? It would feel pretty bad wouldn't it? Now imagine feeling the same way with out the benefits of an adult mind nd only a minimal developmental capacity to self sooth. Not. Pleasant.
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| Posted 10/3/12 4:46 PM |
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DumpsterBaby
My compass when I'm lost
Member since 5/11 2210 total posts
Name:
My anchor when I get tossed
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Posted by Grill
I just had to do CIO with my 2yo again when baby #3 came home. It was rough for about a week and a half (older and more persistent than when I did it a year ago), but now he's back to his routine. I had to reward him with squinkies to stay in bed all night long.
I even called the ped to make sure I wasn't traumatizing him with CIO and his words were, "he's playing you." SO, that's all I needed to feel confident that I wasn't scarring him emotionally for life.
Since you put this out there on a public website, I'm feeling compelled to respond. Your 2 yo was in great need for you when you brought home another baby. This is NOT "playing you" as your doctor suggested. In fact, while children may manipulate situations for their needs to get met, they are NOT malicious. They are innocent, loving, and needy for your attention, comfort, approval ALL the time, not just during adult waking hours. Your doctor has no training in child psychology or on your particular child or household. Making a statement like that is outside the scope of medical practice, it's unprofessional and it's absolutely rude. Toddlers are people too....with feelings and emotions that are just as real and painful as our adult ones. Neglecting them by forcing them to cry alone, in the dark while their real need for love and attention and security goes unmet is not nice. I'm really sorry to hear that your doctor's idiocy offered you confidence. My goodness, 2 yrs old is still a baby in so many ways. Bringing home a sibling is very stressful for everyone in the family, especially our little ones who's world just got rocked. May you be blessed with more restful nights and with very forgetful, forgiving children. Your story is a sad one to me...it's very "anti" child all around.
ETA: I realize you have several little ones and I fully understand that sometimes the needs of one get sacrificed for the greater good. This is a necessity in large families...but it's a sad one..especially when it results in so many tears.
What the eff? You are such a pompous ass! You are condescending and pretentious and you talk down to people all the time! When someone asks, "Hey Grill, can you tell me what a shittty mother I am all the time?" I'm sure your comments will be much more appreciated.
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| Posted 10/3/12 5:16 PM |
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hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true
Member since 2/10 2695 total posts
Name:
Me
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Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Judge much people????? I just can't....
I have no experience with CIO but OP you do whats best for YOU and YOUR family! Best of luck!
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| Posted 10/3/12 5:18 PM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Posted by DumpsterBaby
Posted by Grill
I just had to do CIO with my 2yo again when baby #3 came home. It was rough for about a week and a half (older and more persistent than when I did it a year ago), but now he's back to his routine. I had to reward him with squinkies to stay in bed all night long.
I even called the ped to make sure I wasn't traumatizing him with CIO and his words were, "he's playing you." SO, that's all I needed to feel confident that I wasn't scarring him emotionally for life.
Since you put this out there on a public website, I'm feeling compelled to respond. Your 2 yo was in great need for you when you brought home another baby. This is NOT "playing you" as your doctor suggested. In fact, while children may manipulate situations for their needs to get met, they are NOT malicious. They are innocent, loving, and needy for your attention, comfort, approval ALL the time, not just during adult waking hours. Your doctor has no training in child psychology or on your particular child or household. Making a statement like that is outside the scope of medical practice, it's unprofessional and it's absolutely rude. Toddlers are people too....with feelings and emotions that are just as real and painful as our adult ones. Neglecting them by forcing them to cry alone, in the dark while their real need for love and attention and security goes unmet is not nice. I'm really sorry to hear that your doctor's idiocy offered you confidence. My goodness, 2 yrs old is still a baby in so many ways. Bringing home a sibling is very stressful for everyone in the family, especially our little ones who's world just got rocked. May you be blessed with more restful nights and with very forgetful, forgiving children. Your story is a sad one to me...it's very "anti" child all around.
ETA: I realize you have several little ones and I fully understand that sometimes the needs of one get sacrificed for the greater good. This is a necessity in large families...but it's a sad one..especially when it results in so many tears.
What the eff? You are such a pompous ass! You are condescending and pretentious and you talk down to people all the time! When someone asks, "Hey Grill, can you tell me what a shittty mother I am all the time?" I'm sure your comments will be much more appreciated.
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| Posted 10/3/12 6:12 PM |
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MrsSx2
Finally a MOM!
Member since 11/10 2222 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Posted by DumpsterBaby
Posted by Grill
I just had to do CIO with my 2yo again when baby #3 came home. It was rough for about a week and a half (older and more persistent than when I did it a year ago), but now he's back to his routine. I had to reward him with squinkies to stay in bed all night long.
I even called the ped to make sure I wasn't traumatizing him with CIO and his words were, "he's playing you." SO, that's all I needed to feel confident that I wasn't scarring him emotionally for life.
Since you put this out there on a public website, I'm feeling compelled to respond. Your 2 yo was in great need for you when you brought home another baby. This is NOT "playing you" as your doctor suggested. In fact, while children may manipulate situations for their needs to get met, they are NOT malicious. They are innocent, loving, and needy for your attention, comfort, approval ALL the time, not just during adult waking hours. Your doctor has no training in child psychology or on your particular child or household. Making a statement like that is outside the scope of medical practice, it's unprofessional and it's absolutely rude. Toddlers are people too....with feelings and emotions that are just as real and painful as our adult ones. Neglecting them by forcing them to cry alone, in the dark while their real need for love and attention and security goes unmet is not nice. I'm really sorry to hear that your doctor's idiocy offered you confidence. My goodness, 2 yrs old is still a baby in so many ways. Bringing home a sibling is very stressful for everyone in the family, especially our little ones who's world just got rocked. May you be blessed with more restful nights and with very forgetful, forgiving children. Your story is a sad one to me...it's very "anti" child all around.
ETA: I realize you have several little ones and I fully understand that sometimes the needs of one get sacrificed for the greater good. This is a necessity in large families...but it's a sad one..especially when it results in so many tears.
What the eff? You are such a pompous ass! You are condescending and pretentious and you talk down to people all the time! When someone asks, "Hey Grill, can you tell me what a shittty mother I am all the time?" I'm sure your comments will be much more appreciated.
:
And just to add...who the hell are you to sit there and judge the OP? If you didn't let your kids CIO...then this whole thread doesn't pertain to you. She wasn't looking for your opinion..she didn't ask for it...and she certainly didn't need you to sit here and bash her parenting. Shame on you. Sorry, I forgot...you know EVERYTHING.
Believe me when I say that I am not the only mom on this site that is so over your judgemental BS.
And to the OP...you do what is right for you and your family.
Message edited 10/3/2012 6:42:08 PM.
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| Posted 10/3/12 6:17 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Posted by DumpsterBaby
Posted by Grill
I just had to do CIO with my 2yo again when baby #3 came home. It was rough for about a week and a half (older and more persistent than when I did it a year ago), but now he's back to his routine. I had to reward him with squinkies to stay in bed all night long.
I even called the ped to make sure I wasn't traumatizing him with CIO and his words were, "he's playing you." SO, that's all I needed to feel confident that I wasn't scarring him emotionally for life.
Since you put this out there on a public website, I'm feeling compelled to respond. Your 2 yo was in great need for you when you brought home another baby. This is NOT "playing you" as your doctor suggested. In fact, while children may manipulate situations for their needs to get met, they are NOT malicious. They are innocent, loving, and needy for your attention, comfort, approval ALL the time, not just during adult waking hours. Your doctor has no training in child psychology or on your particular child or household. Making a statement like that is outside the scope of medical practice, it's unprofessional and it's absolutely rude. Toddlers are people too....with feelings and emotions that are just as real and painful as our adult ones. Neglecting them by forcing them to cry alone, in the dark while their real need for love and attention and security goes unmet is not nice. I'm really sorry to hear that your doctor's idiocy offered you confidence. My goodness, 2 yrs old is still a baby in so many ways. Bringing home a sibling is very stressful for everyone in the family, especially our little ones who's world just got rocked. May you be blessed with more restful nights and with very forgetful, forgiving children. Your story is a sad one to me...it's very "anti" child all around.
ETA: I realize you have several little ones and I fully understand that sometimes the needs of one get sacrificed for the greater good. This is a necessity in large families...but it's a sad one..especially when it results in so many tears.
What the eff? You are such a pompous ass! You are condescending and pretentious and you talk down to people all the time! When someone asks, "Hey Grill, can you tell me what a shittty mother I am all the time?" I'm sure your comments will be much more appreciated.
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| Posted 10/3/12 6:27 PM |
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HoneymoonBaby
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/11 635 total posts
Name:
CJ
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Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
When somebody is asking/ answering a question, why do people feel the need to bash others? So rude.
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| Posted 10/3/12 6:48 PM |
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jam11308
Member since 11/07 7273 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
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| Posted 10/3/12 6:57 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
GRILL, you are an ass and you know what...your kids are probably playing you lol get a life.
I never had to do full blown CIO again but sometimes she will get up and cry for a bit before she uses the self soothing that she taught herself through my decision to CIO and goes back to sleep.
Helping your kids learn to self sooth and starting life long good sleep habits is NOT cruel at all....I think its great and works for OUR family. We ALL get over 8 hours of sleep a night.
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| Posted 10/3/12 7:21 PM |
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Grill
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 994 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Pompous, Condescending, judgmental, an ass....I'll take all your labels if it means I saved just one child from being treated like a subordinate to a parents' manipulative, controlling and harsh ways. I see myself as a child advocate. They are not second class citizens. They are not prisoners. They deserve kindness, compassion, dignity and peaceful guidance. My message is loud and abrasive and I don't care if you don't like it.....Babies are NOT meant to withstand the neglect and isolation of crying alone in the dark over and over again. It does not teach self soothing, it forces a total shut down. Teaching assumes their is a student, eager to learn. The only thing I'm hearing in the OP story, and many others like hers, is that her DC was in need of comfort and assurance of her place in their hearts. How f'ing hard could that be????
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| Posted 10/3/12 8:57 PM |
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ModDot
PUMPKIN ALL THE THINGS
Member since 8/11 2196 total posts
Name:
Trissy
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Posted by Grill
Pompous, Condescending, judgmental, an ass....I'll take all your labels if it means I saved just one child from being treated like a subordinate to a parents' manipulative, controlling and harsh ways. I see myself as a child advocate. They are not second class citizens. They are not prisoners. They deserve kindness, compassion, dignity and peaceful guidance. My message is loud and abrasive and I don't care if you don't like it.....Babies are NOT meant to withstand the neglect and isolation of crying alone in the dark over and over again. It does not teach self soothing, it forces a total shut down. Teaching assumes their is a student, eager to learn. The only thing I'm hearing in the OP story, and many others like hers, is that her DC was in need of comfort and assurance of her place in their hearts. How f'ing hard could that be????
And I think that coddling your child and giving into every whim makes them weak and self obsorbed. They'll be clingy and needy and not self sufficient. 
My mother raised me to take care of myself and I am a stronger person for it. You raise your kid however you want but don't condescend on anyone else. As you can see from this thread your way of thinking is not the majority so back down and back off. There's a nice way of saying everything and you never do
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| Posted 10/3/12 9:06 PM |
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MrsSx2
Finally a MOM!
Member since 11/10 2222 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Posted by retrochick
Posted by Grill
Pompous, Condescending, judgmental, an ass....I'll take all your labels if it means I saved just one child from being treated like a subordinate to a parents' manipulative, controlling and harsh ways. I see myself as a child advocate. They are not second class citizens. They are not prisoners. They deserve kindness, compassion, dignity and peaceful guidance. My message is loud and abrasive and I don't care if you don't like it.....Babies are NOT meant to withstand the neglect and isolation of crying alone in the dark over and over again. It does not teach self soothing, it forces a total shut down. Teaching assumes their is a student, eager to learn. The only thing I'm hearing in the OP story, and many others like hers, is that her DC was in need of comfort and assurance of her place in their hearts. How f'ing hard could that be????
And I think that coddling your child and giving into every whim makes them weak and self obsorbed. They'll be clingy and needy and not self sufficient.
My mother raised me to take care of myself and I am a stronger person for it. You raise your kid however you want but don't condescend on anyone else. As you can see from this thread your way of thinking is not the majority so back down and back off. There's a nice way of saying everything and you never do
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| Posted 10/3/12 9:10 PM |
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MrsSx2
Finally a MOM!
Member since 11/10 2222 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Posted by Grill
Pompous, Condescending, judgmental, an ass....I'll take all your labels if it means I saved just one child from being treated like a subordinate to a parents' manipulative, controlling and harsh ways. I see myself as a child advocate. They are not second class citizens. They are not prisoners. They deserve kindness, compassion, dignity and peaceful guidance. My message is loud and abrasive and I don't care if you don't like it.....Babies are NOT meant to withstand the neglect and isolation of crying alone in the dark over and over again. It does not teach self soothing, it forces a total shut down. Teaching assumes their is a student, eager to learn. The only thing I'm hearing in the OP story, and many others like hers, is that her DC was in need of comfort and assurance of her place in their hearts. How f'ing hard could that be????
Image Attachment(s):
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| Posted 10/3/12 9:11 PM |
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Grill
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 994 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
And I think that coddling your child and giving into every whim makes them weak and self obsorbed. They'll be clingy and needy and not self sufficient.
I agree with you on this. It's basic stuff really....goes back to the three types of parenting (authoritative, authoritarian and permissive). There's got to be a healthy balance, which CIO is not.
I do say most things nicely. But when I feel that a child is being treated poorly, I don't feel that 'nice' is the best method of communication.
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| Posted 10/3/12 9:12 PM |
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ModDot
PUMPKIN ALL THE THINGS
Member since 8/11 2196 total posts
Name:
Trissy
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Posted by Grill
And I think that coddling your child and giving into every whim makes them weak and self obsorbed. They'll be clingy and needy and not self sufficient.
I agree with you on this. It's basic stuff really....goes back to the three types of parenting (authoritative, authoritarian and permissive). There's got to be a healthy balance, which CIO is not.
I do say most things nicely. But when I feel that a child is being treated poorly, I don't feel that 'nice' is the best method of communication.
I don't know the cry it out method has been around for as long as I can remember. I don't see anyone calling cps on people because of it
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| Posted 10/3/12 9:15 PM |
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MrsSx2
Finally a MOM!
Member since 11/10 2222 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
Posted by Grill
And I think that coddling your child and giving into every whim makes them weak and self obsorbed. They'll be clingy and needy and not self sufficient.
I agree with you on this. It's basic stuff really....goes back to the three types of parenting (authoritative, authoritarian and permissive). There's got to be a healthy balance, which CIO is not.
I do say most things nicely. But when I feel that a child is being treated poorly, I don't feel that 'nice' is the best method of communication.
I am sorry but its not your place to sit on this forum and call out the OP as "treating her child poorly". You dont know her...you dont know her story or how she parents. From what she has posted, she has tried so much and this was her last resort. She commented that it was hard to do...Its not like she said "Oh, I just threw that baby in a dark room and let her scream her lungs out so i could finally get some sleep".
So still...who the hell are you to question her...or anyone's parenting. Get over yourself. You are NOT the authority on parenting and I hope the OP ignores your comments...because they are as ridiculous as you are.
Message edited 10/3/2012 9:19:16 PM.
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| Posted 10/3/12 9:18 PM |
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hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true
Member since 2/10 2695 total posts
Name:
Me
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Did you have to do CIO again? (if you already did it in the past)
First of all, the OP did not even ask for our opinion regarding CIO... Secondly I am so freaking sick of people thinking their way is the only way and judging others who do things differently. Get over yourself... To call another parent neglectful and manipulative because they want to do CIO is ridiculous. Do you teach your own children compassion and acceptance towards others? You sure as hell don't demonstrate that in any of your threads!
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| Posted 10/3/12 9:20 PM |
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