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amac27
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/09 471 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by Budjeg11
Posted by amac27
Honestly, though you stated in your OP that your issue is with SAHMs complaining, from some of your other posts in this thread, it seems you have little respect for and even some resentment towards SAHMs. No one's life is easy and everyone is entitled to vent a little. This ridiculous battle of the SAHM vs. the Working Mom is so obnoxious. If you want to throw out the word luxury, think about all the women who would do anything to be a mom, working or otherwise. Step off your high horse and take a second to recognize that your friends just need to blow off a little steam. If you truly love them as you say you do, you would just listen and offer support without silently judging them and belittling their complaints.
I actually find your post rude and offensive. What high horse do you think I am riding, my dear? I do listen and offer support and suggestions for change to which I get excuses that make no sense. I'm "resentful" and tired of listening to people complaining about situations they have control over. You can love someone but still be annoyed at listening to them complain-- do you have a husband, children? I love both of mine greatly and still dont want to listen to them complain! And I'm sorry but what does this have to do with woman who want to have children but cannot...
You found my post rude and offensive?? I found your tone throughout this entire thread rude and offensive. For the record, I do have a husband and a child. I'm also a PTWM so I get so experience the best and worst of both worlds.
The irony of this entire thread is that you are WHINING and COMPLAINING about listening to others complain. Sometimes people just need someone to listen to them without offering their two cents.
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Posted 3/22/18 7:29 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Question for SAHM's...
Not everyone is looking for a solution to their problem. Sometimes, people want to vent and get out pent up frustration. This is where I think the disconnect is with you and your friends. You are trying to solve their issues, they just want you to lend an ear.
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| Posted 3/22/18 7:31 PM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by amac27
Posted by Budjeg11
Posted by amac27
Honestly, though you stated in your OP that your issue is with SAHMs complaining, from some of your other posts in this thread, it seems you have little respect for and even some resentment towards SAHMs. No one's life is easy and everyone is entitled to vent a little. This ridiculous battle of the SAHM vs. the Working Mom is so obnoxious. If you want to throw out the word luxury, think about all the women who would do anything to be a mom, working or otherwise. Step off your high horse and take a second to recognize that your friends just need to blow off a little steam. If you truly love them as you say you do, you would just listen and offer support without silently judging them and belittling their complaints.
I actually find your post rude and offensive. What high horse do you think I am riding, my dear? I do listen and offer support and suggestions for change to which I get excuses that make no sense. I'm "resentful" and tired of listening to people complaining about situations they have control over. You can love someone but still be annoyed at listening to them complain-- do you have a husband, children? I love both of mine greatly and still dont want to listen to them complain! And I'm sorry but what does this have to do with woman who want to have children but cannot...
You found my post rude and offensive?? I found your tone throughout this entire thread rude and offensive. For the record, I do have a husband and a child. I'm also a PTWM so I get so experience the best and worst of both worlds.
The irony of this entire thread is that you are WHINING and COMPLAINING about listening to others complain. Sometimes people just need someone to listen to them without offering their two cents.
Yes, I do find it offensive to be told to "get off my high horse". So you've never figuratively rolled your eyes at your husband or kids complain about anything, because if you did, that would mean you didn't love them right? I am a PTWM as well -- you are reading something in my posts that are not there and taking things out of context. So, don't assume....you know what that makes you right? Perhaps if you were offended by my posts and/or you feel that sometimes people just need to whine and complain without being responded to-- you could have just strolled along without replying to my post. Never to late to start. Bye Felicia.. have a good day.
Message edited 3/22/2018 7:40:33 PM.
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| Posted 3/22/18 7:35 PM |
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OhBoyorGirl
LIF Adult
Member since 2/12 1789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by MichLiz213
Not everyone is looking for a solution to their problem. Sometimes, people want to vent and get out pent up frustration. This is where I think the disconnect is with you and your friends. You are trying to solve their issues, they just want you to lend an ear.
Exactly this!
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| Posted 3/22/18 7:51 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by OhBoyorGirl
Posted by MichLiz213
Not everyone is looking for a solution to their problem. Sometimes, people want to vent and get out pent up frustration. This is where I think the disconnect is with you and your friends. You are trying to solve their issues, they just want you to lend an ear.
Exactly this!
Yes, but know your audience. Why would a SAHM mom complain to a working mom and list something like not trusting babysitters as their reason to not work? I would assume that all working moms have someone else watching their kid, no? I wouldn't go call up a SAHM and say "I miss being with my DD but I go to work because (insert something borderline offensive to SAHMs).
It's just weird.
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| Posted 3/22/18 8:01 PM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by OhBoyorGirl
Posted by MichLiz213
Not everyone is looking for a solution to their problem. Sometimes, people want to vent and get out pent up frustration. This is where I think the disconnect is with you and your friends. You are trying to solve their issues, they just want you to lend an ear.
Exactly this!
Yes, but know your audience. Why would a SAHM mom complain to a working mom and list something like not trusting babysitters as their reason to not work? I would assume that all working moms have someone else watching their kid, no? I wouldn't go call up a SAHM and say "I miss being with my DD but I go to work because (insert something borderline offensive to SAHMs).
It's just weird.
Actually it's not weird. I have had more than 1 sahm friend mention how THEY could never send their kid to daycare when they Kno full well I do. Pple r jst stupid and don't think.
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| Posted 3/22/18 8:09 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by OhBoyorGirl
Posted by MichLiz213
Not everyone is looking for a solution to their problem. Sometimes, people want to vent and get out pent up frustration. This is where I think the disconnect is with you and your friends. You are trying to solve their issues, they just want you to lend an ear.
Exactly this!
Yes, but know your audience. Why would a SAHM mom complain to a working mom and list something like not trusting babysitters as their reason to not work? I would assume that all working moms have someone else watching their kid, no? I wouldn't go call up a SAHM and say "I miss being with my DD but I go to work because (insert something borderline offensive to SAHMs).
It's just weird.
I guess it depends on how close of friends they are, but my friends are just my friends. I don’t separate my conversations based on whether they breastfeed or formula feed, SAH vs. WAH, etc. Otherwise I would be walking on eggshells with everyone.
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| Posted 3/22/18 8:13 PM |
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KateBennetReel
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/15 555 total posts
Name:
Keep
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Question for SAHM's...
I think as a SAHM, I have these pockets of time to over anlyze myself. if that makes sense. Time goes by so quickly, and I'm still struggling to decide. I'm so connected to my kids, and managing a household so closely, the idea of letting go of that in favor of me & my work identity is scary. Transitions are scary. But I'm working from home, part time, and it's leading to full time, and it's hard. But the kids are getting older, we could use the money, and I am interested in my work voice and what that might sound like - but as a mother, it's a whole new work world, especially after being home most of the time. It's a complex question with many, many layers, for me at least. And I love to talk about it too-too much. Which is why I am leading a group of mom's in a discussion about this topic in April! Work/ Life Balance. DM for more info!
Work comes in so many different forms, and paid & unpaid. I love my work - both at home and outside the home. It's hard, but it's that choice to make it that's hard as well. I feel like I have one foot in both sides, and I'm slowly [finally] dipping it more into [paid] work. And I complain about it to my husband - and maybe any one that will listen because I need to talk things out to process them. And it's a tough process.
I don't know if that helped you, but that sure helped me. Thanks for posting :)
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| Posted 3/22/18 8:55 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by mommy2B3
I’m sorry your friend is so miserable being a SAHM, I find those that hate staying home either aren’t the nurturing type or their DHs never help. For me, I wouldn’t have kids unless we could make it work with one of us staying home, but that’s something we decided before kids, and it’s obviously not a one size fits all for everyone.
Or maybe she would just prefer working. To say a woman who would rather have a job than be home isn’t nurturing is absurd and insulting.
Yeah I was going to say something about this but stopped myself. But since you did....
Yeah.
Wow, talk about offensive,.
I am VERY nurturing. I love my daughter more than anything on the planet. When I am with her, we are thick as thieves and I dote on her. You'd be hard pressed to find a better mom than me. This child is 'nurtured' to the 9th degree. Almost too much sometimes.
But I worked my ass off to get where I am and I wasn't about to give it up just because I gave birth.
Staying at home isn't for me. By a long shot.
Not because I'm not nurturing but because I enjoy my career. And my daughter.
And I can have both- go figure. Great country, this America!
I wasn’t meaning those who work and don’t stay home aren’t nurturing. I was talking about SAHMs who complain about being home, and since I am one, most of my friends are and the ones who hate staying home complain bc they don’t get help from their DH or bc like I said they don’t feel they have the nurturing quality. It’s not something I made up, it’s something many SAHMs feel, but most that complain are stuck doing something they don’t want to be doing.
I would never say a mother who works isn’t nurturing and I’m sorry you took it that way, or that I didn’t write this correctly.
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| Posted 3/22/18 9:00 PM |
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Bebelove
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/12 742 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by stinger
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Sash
Don’t SAHM moms get a break when their school aged kids go to school? I never understood the working moms get breaks but SAHM don’t.
Anywho I wanted to point out the hardest is the working mom who is home with their kid, during a snow storm. I did that sh!t yesterday and it was harder than being a SAHM and a working mom. You’re technically doing double the work. I know there are some moms who work at home and have kids to tend to.. that ish is crazy.
This is, without question, the hardest situation of all. I did it for 3 months while we waited to get DD into daycare. I feel your pain. Hell on earth. That’s the only way to describe it.
My kids are older now. And it drives me crazy when other moms with infants and toddlers say they are working remotely. I am not judging but BTDT - youre not working productively. Separate the 2, use your PTO days etc. I get the case when the office is closed due to storm but other than well, no.
Why does it drive you crazy? We do the same and save all of our vacation days for family vacations. Rather struggle through it then burn through our very precious PTO. We also work early (or late) when need be. It can be stressful but totally worth scheduling our time as a family, away.
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| Posted 3/22/18 10:01 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Moral of the story: SAHM and WM just can't be friends 
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| Posted 3/22/18 10:22 PM |
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Jenn79
One more?
Member since 2/12 2410 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by gina409
Posted by Budjeg11
Posted by LSP2005
Being a mom, managing everyone's schedules, making sure the house is running, and taking care of everything is difficult if you are a full time, part time, work from home, or stay at home mom.
I have worked full time, part time, and now I work from home, but occasionally have to drive to the office or to meet clients out of my home. Social planning, keeping the house, all of it falls to me as I am sure it does for most women.
No one person has it easy. Someone might have health problems, or family problems, or a special needs child.
I don't know any parent that has it all and certainly not all at the same time.
True, health problem, special needs and other extenuating circumstances certainly play a roll. However, all other things being the same.. assuming same child(ren), same spouse, same family, same spousal and outside help-- do you think that the SAHM has it just as hard as the Working mom, who has to work and then still has to do the keeping of the house, social planning, and the general mental and lets face of physical load of raising children?
This I just will never get
I totally understand that some will
Work a 12 hr day and come home and have chores etc
But what’s his fantasy where bc you stay at home you do a chore once and it’s done for the day
Bc it does not happen that way
Exactly!
I wasn't going to add to this post because I dislike them but I am a SAHM and I have a newborn, a 3 year old and my nephew that's 2 with me 5-6 days a week! and a 5 year old that goes to kindergarten but I guess she doesn't count according to some of these posts... Chores are not done once and my house can be a zoo most days!
I've worked and now i stay home. They both have their downfalls and perks. I had to stay home because my salary wasn't enough for daycare. I'm also happy I get to spend this precious time with my babies. But it didn't come so easy for me. I've had to work through a lot mentally. Especially the feeling a worthlessness or not being good enough because I couldn't find a job that paid better. It's been three years and YES I do work as hard and a working mom!
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| Posted 3/22/18 10:57 PM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by Jenn79
Posted by gina409
Posted by Budjeg11
Posted by LSP2005
Being a mom, managing everyone's schedules, making sure the house is running, and taking care of everything is difficult if you are a full time, part time, work from home, or stay at home mom.
I have worked full time, part time, and now I work from home, but occasionally have to drive to the office or to meet clients out of my home. Social planning, keeping the house, all of it falls to me as I am sure it does for most women.
No one person has it easy. Someone might have health problems, or family problems, or a special needs child.
I don't know any parent that has it all and certainly not all at the same time.
True, health problem, special needs and other extenuating circumstances certainly play a roll. However, all other things being the same.. assuming same child(ren), same spouse, same family, same spousal and outside help-- do you think that the SAHM has it just as hard as the Working mom, who has to work and then still has to do the keeping of the house, social planning, and the general mental and lets face of physical load of raising children?
This I just will never get
I totally understand that some will
Work a 12 hr day and come home and have chores etc
But what’s his fantasy where bc you stay at home you do a chore once and it’s done for the day
Bc it does not happen that way
Exactly!
I wasn't going to add to this post because I dislike them but I am a SAHM and I have a newborn, a 3 year old and my nephew that's 2 with me 5-6 days a week! and a 5 year old that goes to kindergarten but I guess she doesn't count according to some of these posts... Chores are not done once and my house can be a zoo most days!
I've worked and now i stay home. They both have their downfalls and perks. I had to stay home because my salary wasn't enough for daycare. I'm also happy I get to spend this precious time with my babies. But it didn't come so easy for me. I've had to work through a lot mentally. Especially the feeling a worthlessness or not being good enough because I couldn't find a job that paid better. It's been three years and YES I do work as hard and a working mom!
You are doing amazing and are an incredible mom!! 
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| Posted 3/23/18 6:27 AM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by stinger
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Sash
Don’t SAHM moms get a break when their school aged kids go to school? I never understood the working moms get breaks but SAHM don’t.
Anywho I wanted to point out the hardest is the working mom who is home with their kid, during a snow storm. I did that sh!t yesterday and it was harder than being a SAHM and a working mom. You’re technically doing double the work. I know there are some moms who work at home and have kids to tend to.. that ish is crazy.
This is, without question, the hardest situation of all. I did it for 3 months while we waited to get DD into daycare. I feel your pain. Hell on earth. That’s the only way to describe it.
My kids are older now. And it drives me crazy when other moms with infants and toddlers say they are working remotely. I am not judging but BTDT - youre not working productively. Separate the 2, use your PTO days etc. I get the case when the office is closed due to storm but other than well, no.
Why does it drive you crazy? We do the same and save all of our vacation days for family vacations. Rather struggle through it then burn through our very precious PTO. We also work early (or late) when need be. It can be stressful but totally worth scheduling our time as a family, away.
Again cause youre not being productive and doing disservice to kids yourself and your job. Multitasking is not good for any of us! Plus everyone on our team knows if they say they are working from home and have very young kids they probably aren’t working much. Also read the several PP above and their take on it. Like I said Ive done it and dont think its a good idea at all. Use daycare or sitters or PTO. Obviously in extreme circumstances we have no choice.
On the snow day my team members were talking about their little ones arts and crafts and forts and snow men lol. Meanwhile i was working on my laptop all day.
Point is be in the moment whether with kids or work or something else.
If you do all your work at night when kids are sleeping that’s different. I like to separate work/life so that i can give attention to what i am doing. Its better for me and everyone i am accountable to.
Message edited 3/23/2018 8:23:05 AM.
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| Posted 3/23/18 6:33 AM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by MC09
Moral of the story: SAHM and WM just can't be friends
Truth! Especially not on message boards!
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| Posted 3/23/18 7:17 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by mommy2B3
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by mommy2B3
I’m sorry your friend is so miserable being a SAHM, I find those that hate staying home either aren’t the nurturing type or their DHs never help. For me, I wouldn’t have kids unless we could make it work with one of us staying home, but that’s something we decided before kids, and it’s obviously not a one size fits all for everyone.
Or maybe she would just prefer working. To say a woman who would rather have a job than be home isn’t nurturing is absurd and insulting.
Yeah I was going to say something about this but stopped myself. But since you did....
Yeah.
Wow, talk about offensive,.
I am VERY nurturing. I love my daughter more than anything on the planet. When I am with her, we are thick as thieves and I dote on her. You'd be hard pressed to find a better mom than me. This child is 'nurtured' to the 9th degree. Almost too much sometimes.
But I worked my ass off to get where I am and I wasn't about to give it up just because I gave birth.
Staying at home isn't for me. By a long shot.
Not because I'm not nurturing but because I enjoy my career. And my daughter.
And I can have both- go figure. Great country, this America!
I wasn’t meaning those who work and don’t stay home aren’t nurturing. I was talking about SAHMs who complain about being home, and since I am one, most of my friends are and the ones who hate staying home complain bc they don’t get help from their DH or bc like I said they don’t feel they have the nurturing quality. It’s not something I made up, it’s something many SAHMs feel, but most that complain are stuck doing something they don’t want to be doing.
I would never say a mother who works isn’t nurturing and I’m sorry you took it that way, or that I didn’t write this correctly.
Ok, thanks. I read it wrong.
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| Posted 3/23/18 9:25 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Some people are just malcontents.
Grass is always greener.
I choose to go back, I work 181 days a year, I am home by 2:30 (two days not until 4), I have no commute, I make 6 figures, will get a pension and have free benefits. Oh also I contribute a large chunk of my salary to my TDA which will allow us to retire w a lot of money.
I would love to be a SAHM, I would love to be class mom and get to go to every event but I made a choice, I was not willing to give up what I have, what my children will benefit from to stay home.
I do not wallow in it, I am very fortunate to have made good choices and had some good luck splashed in that have afforded me this career, I am lucky I do not commute, that I am home when my kids are off, I know how lucky I am. I could choose to focus on what I DO NOT have, on the fact that my kids have to get to school early and some days stay late and that I have to miss a lot of stuff, but what would be the point in that? lol
So some people are just bitter betties no matter how good they have it,.
Message edited 3/23/2018 9:59:06 AM.
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| Posted 3/23/18 9:56 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by stinger
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by stinger
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Sash
Don’t SAHM moms get a break when their school aged kids go to school? I never understood the working moms get breaks but SAHM don’t.
Anywho I wanted to point out the hardest is the working mom who is home with their kid, during a snow storm. I did that sh!t yesterday and it was harder than being a SAHM and a working mom. You’re technically doing double the work. I know there are some moms who work at home and have kids to tend to.. that ish is crazy.
This is, without question, the hardest situation of all. I did it for 3 months while we waited to get DD into daycare. I feel your pain. Hell on earth. That’s the only way to describe it.
My kids are older now. And it drives me crazy when other moms with infants and toddlers say they are working remotely. I am not judging but BTDT - youre not working productively. Separate the 2, use your PTO days etc. I get the case when the office is closed due to storm but other than well, no.
Why does it drive you crazy? We do the same and save all of our vacation days for family vacations. Rather struggle through it then burn through our very precious PTO. We also work early (or late) when need be. It can be stressful but totally worth scheduling our time as a family, away.
Again cause youre not being productive and doing disservice to kids yourself and your job. Multitasking is not good for any of us! Plus everyone on our team knows if they say they are working from home and have very young kids they probably aren’t working much. Also read the several PP above and their take on it. Like I said Ive done it and dont think its a good idea at all. Use daycare or sitters or PTO. Obviously in extreme circumstances we have no choice.
On the snow day my team members were talking about their little ones arts and crafts and forts and snow men lol. Meanwhile i was working on my laptop all day.
Point is be in the moment whether with kids or work or something else.
If you do all your work at night when kids are sleeping that’s different. I like to separate work/life so that i can give attention to what i am doing. Its better for me and everyone i am accountable to.
Yeah, I don’t think anyone working from home with kids is like “this is the best idea ever.” It’s horrible.
I did it because my mom was supposed to babysit when I went back to work and then changed her mind the day before my leave ended. I quite literally had no choice. She went on a daycare waiting list immediately by it took almost 3 months for them to have a spot. I was very lucky that I had an understanding boss who let me do it. I’m still incredibly grateful even 2 years later.
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| Posted 3/23/18 9:58 AM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by stinger
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by stinger
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Sash
Don’t SAHM moms get a break when their school aged kids go to school? I never understood the working moms get breaks but SAHM don’t.
Anywho I wanted to point out the hardest is the working mom who is home with their kid, during a snow storm. I did that sh!t yesterday and it was harder than being a SAHM and a working mom. You’re technically doing double the work. I know there are some moms who work at home and have kids to tend to.. that ish is crazy.
This is, without question, the hardest situation of all. I did it for 3 months while we waited to get DD into daycare. I feel your pain. Hell on earth. That’s the only way to describe it.
My kids are older now. And it drives me crazy when other moms with infants and toddlers say they are working remotely. I am not judging but BTDT - youre not working productively. Separate the 2, use your PTO days etc. I get the case when the office is closed due to storm but other than well, no.
Why does it drive you crazy? We do the same and save all of our vacation days for family vacations. Rather struggle through it then burn through our very precious PTO. We also work early (or late) when need be. It can be stressful but totally worth scheduling our time as a family, away.
Again cause youre not being productive and doing disservice to kids yourself and your job. Multitasking is not good for any of us! Plus everyone on our team knows if they say they are working from home and have very young kids they probably aren’t working much. Also read the several PP above and their take on it. Like I said Ive done it and dont think its a good idea at all. Use daycare or sitters or PTO. Obviously in extreme circumstances we have no choice.
On the snow day my team members were talking about their little ones arts and crafts and forts and snow men lol. Meanwhile i was working on my laptop all day.
Point is be in the moment whether with kids or work or something else.
If you do all your work at night when kids are sleeping that’s different. I like to separate work/life so that i can give attention to what i am doing. Its better for me and everyone i am accountable to.
Yeah, I don’t think anyone working from home with kids is like “this is the best idea ever.” It’s horrible.
I did it because my mom was supposed to babysit when I went back to work and then changed her mind the day before my leave ended. I quite literally had no choice. She went on a daycare waiting list immediately by it took almost 3 months for them to have a spot. I was very lucky that I had an understanding boss who let me do it. I’m still incredibly grateful even 2 years later.
Wow that sounds like it must have been stressful! I am so so grateful to my boss and company too and have felt appreciation for them for being supportive regarding family issues as well.
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| Posted 3/23/18 11:13 AM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
I’m at sahm by choice and I love it about 90% of the time. When my girls were younger and not in school full time it was way easier and I liked it more. I admit I complain probably way too much and there are many days I wish to be a working mom or trade places with my dh. There are also days I think to myself there is no way I could be a working mom that must be so hard and have no idea how working moms do it all and I’m in awe of them. Being a parent is just so hard and I find once they go to school full time it gets harder not easier. HW and activities make me feel like I’m a school teacher and a taxi driver. Point is I think both have a right to complain.
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| Posted 3/24/18 1:07 AM |
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Ballet46
LIF Infant
Member since 6/14 180 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
I am a sahm and love it. All my friends who sah love it too! We don't complaint about adult interaction because we have each other, parents, and spouses. The only thing we do complain about is that our husbands do not help much at all. Like, they don't help with things that any adult man should be doing as opposed to his wife. It's like the sahm is playing the role of mother and father if that makes sense.
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| Posted 3/26/18 11:11 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
The life of a mom is never black and white regardless of being a SAHM or a WFTM, there’s so many variables, so many sacrifices in different levels, so many different situations. Because of this, it’s almost impossible to determine who has it easier and who has it harder. A while ago I read a letter from a WFTM to a SAHM and later on the answer letter from the SAHM to the WFTM, it was beautiful to see the acknowledgment of each other instead of the negativity. I don’t know if this link was were I first read it from but it was the first one that came up when I googled it...
Letters
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| Posted 3/27/18 4:46 AM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by mommy2B3
I’m sorry your friend is so miserable being a SAHM, I find those that hate staying home either aren’t the nurturing type or their DHs never help. For me, I wouldn’t have kids unless we could make it work with one of us staying home, but that’s something we decided before kids, and it’s obviously not a one size fits all for everyone.
Or maybe she would just prefer working. To say a woman who would rather have a job than be home isn’t nurturing is absurd and insulting.
Yup.
DH helps more than most (cooks dinner, does the dishes, bathes the kids, etc.) and I’m extremely loving and nurturing with my children. Still doesn’t mean I love being a sahm. Especially when you have your 4 year old crying because they broke an Easter egg while your 2 year old with multiple disabilities who is crying because she can’t speak or communicate and you can’t figure out wtf she wants or needs. But it is what it is and I do what I do. I don’t have to love it and the assumption that I’m not nurturing is extremely sanctimonious. 
Message edited 3/28/2018 7:00:42 PM.
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| Posted 3/28/18 6:42 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
Posted by amac27
Honestly, though you stated in your OP that your issue is with SAHMs complaining, from some of your other posts in this thread, it seems you have little respect for and even some resentment towards SAHMs. No one's life is easy and everyone is entitled to vent a little. This ridiculous battle of the SAHM vs. the Working Mom is so obnoxious. If you want to throw out the word luxury, think about all the women who would do anything to be a mom, working or otherwise. Step off your high horse and take a second to recognize that your friends just need to blow off a little steam. If you truly love them as you say you do, you would just listen and offer support without silently judging them and belittling their complaints.
Often times, the time with my friends is the only time I’m not talking to a 2 and 4 year old. If I can’t vent to my friends, who can I vent to? I would expect my friends to empathize as I would empathize with them and their situations.
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| Posted 3/28/18 6:47 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for SAHM's...
I think that the problem the OP had though was not with the fact that her friends are complaining about being a SAHM so much as they are complaining about something that they have control over. If they are that miserable being a SAHM they could go back to work and arrange for childcare the way millions of women do each year. I kind of get that. It's not that they are complaining so much about being a SAHM as they are about not having the option to work, when in this particular case, they do have that option.
I think that everyone has the right to complain every once in a while but if you are constantly complaining over something you could change, that gets annoying.
And for the record, I have done it all - SAHM, FTWM, PTWM... so I've seen all sides of the equation.
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| Posted 3/28/18 8:10 PM |
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